The gentle glow of blue was perhaps a gift from God himself, for none could create such a sensation as the colours that surrounded my soul could.
Warmth.
Adoration.
Sparks of happiness plucked at my nerves and made me smile, making me kick out and giggle like I was no different from a newborn. I could feel something push against my skin, a gooey hand caressing my heart.
It should have felt comforting. And it was, even if for a short while.
The ocean of blue around me serenaded me, the luminous blue waves that splashed against my shores against the ebb and flow of the sea. A relaxing rhythm that I bobbed my head too, one that would weave pleasantries into my dreams for the rest of my life.
Then I see her beyond the waves, a girl staring at the displays at the bakery.
It must have been around June, perhaps early July. The heat was unbearable (as usual) and I was coming back from the butchers and bakers with bread and meat in bags, the crumbs of a freshly baked sausage roll stained my mouth as I continued to eat my lunch. I was a few aisles away when I first spotted her taking veggies and fruits and minutes later by the time I got to the cake and pastries section she was still there and lingering in thought.
Confusion struck me. This isn't right. This had to be a memory from years back.
[M...y. ...Pe?]
Her mouth opened, silent words escaped her lips and for some reason, I could hear the words ‘So many choices’ against my skull almost as if muttering.
I can’t make out her appearance that well, I see a mismatched dress and leather boots, and I don’t understand why the few people who were here kept their distance. People walked by but purposely avoided her. It created an invisible bubble, a forcefield of revulsion.
Why?
I opened my mouth to speak. The gaze of her inhuman gemstone-cut eyes with the crescent moon as its pupils threw me off.
Then, she speaks.
[If that is truly what you want… Very well.]
And suddenly, I found myself in the comforting ocean once more.
The hand once again caresses me and I feel calm. Just an illusion to deter me, nothing more.
And yet… The gooey hand constantly rubbed against my head, pushing deep and brushing against me, reminding me of someone desperately looking for an item they had once lost.
The hand continued to be harsh, any harsher and I would have to try and slap the hand away and try and go baaaAAAAAYEOOWWWCHHH!!
MY EYE!
MY PRECIOUS EYEBALL!
DID I JUST GET PUNCHED IN THE EYE?!
The warmth around me lost its appeal pretty quickly, immediately I felt a sticky slop that coated my body that vaguely felt like thick honey. It was disgusting, and the hand that rubbed my head recoiled back in fright. I had attempted to kick out with all of my strength and the invisible wall of goo held firm. Again and again, I strike.
Twice.
Thrice.
Four times-
Crack.
I almost cheered out in joy, my would-be cry interrupted by a surprised and frightened buzz. Another kick and suddenly I could hear-
[N-No!] Another buzz. It was a strange voice I didn’t recognise, muffled from the sludge that covered my ears. [Calm down, please!]
Kidnapped.
I was kidnapped, that was the only possible explanation. Trapped in some strange sack. I kicked again, hoping to scare off the assumed kidnapper even if it did little effect.
Or, what I assumed.
[No, my Queen-!]
A scream.
A scream so loud, so agonised, I almost stopped my next kick out of fear.
I say, what the utter hell was that? It sounded like a pregnant woman got kicked in the belly by a horse!
…Waaait...
This time, I gently nudged the sac with my heel, pushing forward gently. What felt like a hand pushed it back, a soft buzzing noise soon followed as well as a pained grunt.
I was starting to see something. Where the bloody hell am I?
[My Queen.] The voice spoke up again, notably still muffled. [There is no need to do this, please I beg of you. I-I can’t bear to see you like this!]
A short silence followed by a scoff. [I must do this Pir’mu. I will never let those creatures hurt my people again!]
[At the cost of your life?! I’m sorry my Queen, but if your quest for revenge costs you your life, then what is the point?!]
Another screech.
I felt something in my chest become fuzzy, warm.
Out.
I needed out. This prison was starting to get hard to breathe in. It felt like it was getting smaller around me with the intent of crushing me.
[The point?! The POINT?!] Rage filled the ‘queens’ voice. [So many of my children died, and I watched in horror as my family slowly lost their minds around me, some brainwashed and lobotomised for human’s wretched desires! You should know this pain! This pain, over one hundred years of agony!]
[I know that pain!] Desperation. I kicked again, summoning another scream. [My Queen, if I may say, I know that pain as well as you! Watching my siblings die around me, their dying cries and their tears still haunt me each night. I considered joining them many times, but I knew you would save us all and take revenge!]
I could feel my arms returning to me ever so slowly. I should be able to rip myself out of my prison!
[But if that revenge costs you your life, then what is the point?! I understand your anger for the humans, but the monsters who destroyed our home are long dead! Why must you take it out on the other humans who had nothing to do with it?! Why must you sacrifice yourself, sacrifice yourself for an act of revenge that can no longer be fulfilled? An act filled with empty desire and spite, destined to spiral into insanity?!]
[SILENCE!]
I gently pushed with my arms, looking quite strange and… Two pairs?
Huh?
Why do I have two pairs of arms? And why did they look… Insecty? Wait, are these even arms?
It’s too dark for me to see properly but I can definitely see more than two pairs of limbs.
Come on, lemme out!
[No, my Queen. I cannot watch this any longer. I beg of you, use your powers to nurture us as you once did. Ignore this revenge.]
[NO! I WILL NOT!]
A hiss of pain. A scream of anger.
[YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU WANT, EVER SINCE WE ARRIVED YOUR MIND HAD BEEN TAINTED BY HUMANS! YOU SWORE YOUR STINGER AND BOW TO OUR CAUSE, AND NOW YOU SHOW SELFISH REGRET, UNCERTAINTY TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT?! MY CHILD WILL PURGE THOSE HUMANS YOU DARE PUT FAITH IN OVER US!]
Briefly, I wondered if this was a wise choice to do. However, something in my mind ticked away, a voice roaring at me to get out. I tried to claw out, the harder I dug, the louder the scream-
[Pir’mu? PIR’MU, YOU WILL NOT ABANDON ME. IF YOU GO AGAINST ME YOU HAVE BETRAYED OUR KIND! MY CHILD WILL MAKE SURE YOUR LAST MOMENTS WILL BE IN AGONY AND DESPAIR! PIR’MU!!]
Damn it. Out. OUT!
[MY CHILD! MY CHILD IS HERE!]
Let.
[I’m sorry!]
Me.
[MOTHER!]
And, with a screech of my own-
OUT!
-I tore a hole into my gooey prison.
Fresh air greeted me with a hint of coolness, more screams echoed around me as I continued to force myself out. I couldn’t see properly, my eyes still seeing mostly blue. Yet it did nothing to deter me from escaping.
Ah!
I think I can see a bit of light- Moonlight?
Almost there!
Even as the screams of agony continued and the buzzing got louder and louder, my determination did not waver. The shell that covered me remained sturdy, healing back up quicker than I could slice.
Unless I could open it up properly… Ah!
I tore another hole into the wall, this time using my arms I kept the hole open before it got the chance to magically heal itself. The walls struggled to close and stitch themselves together. It seemed my hands prevented it from healing back up.
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Huh?! Wait a sec. This is strange, why do I see so many limbs? They look like clawed spider legs except for one pair that I can’t quite make out.
I still can’t see well dammit!
Was I dreaming?
No, this couldn’t be it. It was too vivid, too realistic to be a dream. But then why was I-
Bah! I’ll figure that out after I escape! Actions now, think later!
Now, let me out!
Once again did the warmth in my chest make me fuzzy, yet it grew suddenly warmer, growing more aware of the cracking of bones, the roar of torment that drowned all but my thundering heartbeat. And even that had drowned out the wretched sounds of flesh being torn open, blocked the smell of pollen and the faintest taste of honey that lingered on my lips and the flash of colourful lights that almost disoriented me to unconsciousness.
Even with all of that, I pulled my prison apart.
I didn’t waste any time getting out and almost ended up tripping on my face on wobbly legs as a strange blue fluid with the consistency of water began to pool around me, spouting from the hole I had made. Where on earth am I?
H-Huh?
Hold up-
...Oh. So that’s where I was.
[My...My child.]
There was a honey bee of sorts, with blue and black fuzz covering parts of her body, lying on a bed made of leaves. It was quite big, although I still towered over the creature. Her stomach looked hideously bloated, almost resembling a heavily pregnant woman, who happened to be carrying a dozen children at least. As well as a very familiar gaping wound that slowly started to deflate her bloated belly.
Ugh. My eyes were struggling to focus like I could see about five different images and it was seriously messing with my head. Neither wanted to focus on the bee, clearly more interested in other things besides the one I’m interested in, except for one that finally obeyed me… And why does that eye feel so strange?
Her bee abdomen twitched, almost buzzing in excitement at the sight of me and her mandible open to reveal a slimy tongue and… Yeesh, human teeth? Yet I wasn’t blind to her obvious weakness.
What the hell?
Bee’s didn’t grow this big, did they?
[You’re…] The exhaustion was strong in her voice- Wait, she’s talking?! She’s not moving her mandibles though, was it telepathy? [My beautiful child. I can sense the power inside of you. Yes, you are… P-perfect!]
Wow. If I’m seeing this right she was giving birth and I was rude enough to tear out her womb alien style.
Sorry, new mother. Didn’t realise at the time.
My mother laughed and buzzed weakly, her large antenna waving about. [Do not look so apologetic! You survived, healthy and blue! Such a brilliant example of the new race.] Her bee eyes seemed to have softened. Though it was really hard to tell because, uh, I don’t think bees emote that well. [Come closer little one, let me see your face.]
Man. I’m surprised you're still alive. I feel really bad now.
Hesitantly, I attempted to trot up to her and almost collapsed onto the floor. And it didn’t take long to realise what those strange limbs were once I looked down.
Oh.
OH.
Bizarre. This was beyond bizarre.
These were not my legs, absolutely not. Too many legs! And my body! Where is my everything?!
…
…
…O-Okay, hold on. This was too much already! It’s not just the fact I have too many legs, it seems as if my entire body had changed! Was this a part of this whole reincarnation process thingie? Why an oversized spider?!
My body, from what I could see and feel, seems to be consisting of my new head, a small middle section that was essentially a torso with my head and legs attached and a much, much bigger abdomen; all of which is covered in a dark carapace. The only bits of colour were the splash of vibrant blue on my claws, the joints not covered by the carapace and the fuzzy blue coat on top of my abdomen. Strange curved horns protruded from my head, clearly not belonging to a spider, one small one on my forehead and two larger ones on the side like some sort of bony crown.
…? What? There’s something floating above my ‘crown’. I can’t see it, dammit! Bah, lemme check everything else then.
Three pairs of long spindly legs kept my body far above the ground, each tipped with three thick pincer-shaped red claws. My front legs were actually my arms (or at the least, advanced pedipalps), a tad longer than normal human arms, possessing fully functioning red claws that resemble fingers, complete with an opposable thumb/claw, leaving me with four digits in total!
Look, I can even turn my wrists! A near 360-degree turn! Spiders can’t do that right? I’m an oversized spider with hands capable of many nefarious deeds!
Although… Gah. I need to close my other eyes though, it's super disorienting to suddenly have several times the vision that you can’t even control. Like my brain hasn’t quite caught up with the rest of my body…
…Wait. Lemme feel my face.
…
Okay. I’m not an eight-eyed spider. I’m a five-eyed spider with one of my intact eyes a tad larger than the others and placed in the middle of my face like a cyclops while the rest were placed on the sides, two on each side.
Huh. No wonder my vision is wonky.
I’ll have to examine the finer details whenever I can find a reflective surface I suppose.
Oh god, I feel so much larger than I used to and probably look utterly hideous!
Ah! Walk towards mother, you’re taking too long with the inner thoughts!
(Wait, wasn’t there someone else here?)
Ignoring the creeping realisation that I looked nothing like mother, I carefully skitter towards her, trying to get used to my limbs as quickly as possible.
[My child.] My mum looked at me with adoration. At least she can love an abomination like me. [How wonderful you are. Even with your… Face.] Her tone had soured considerably for a moment before becoming as motherly as before. Oh god, it's not even a face a mother can love?! [It does not matter. You are now born into this world, perfect and pure as can be. A perfect weapon, but more importantly, a healthy, beautiful child.]
She looks up into the night sky, peering at the stars and the three moons high above. One resembles our moon from Earth, except perhaps larger with a strange, purple mark on its centre that reminded me of a tumour. The second moon was smaller and a bright, neon pink that had a surface that reminded me of liquid. The third on the other hand? Massive. It was like a size comparison where the other two moons were Earth and Mars and the third was Neptune. Bright green, yet covered in darkened marks that resembled eyes. Those ‘eyes’ looked like they were made out of rust.
Wow, it's so well-detailed. It looks very similar to a gas planet. Gas planet acting as a moon? Maybe it's just close. I dunno. Space isn’t my speciality.
Still freaky though.
And the sky looked so much more radiant than back home, stars beyond what I could possibly see. Then again I did live in a town where the night lights made everything so red…
[M-Ma’kaol.]
Huh?
She reached for my hand. [Ma’kaol. That- That shall be… Your name, ‘Star-Igniter’. I d-don’t have mu-much-]
God, I could hear how much she struggled not to scream out and how much effort it took to keep her head up to look at me. Poor thing was dying and I was 99% sure I was the cause. I mean, I’m not entirely sure what biological and physical nightmare it must have been for a bee to give birth to a spider that’s considerably larger than her, a live birth to add to it. It’s like a human giving birth to a full-grown horse, it ain’t gonna end well.
I gently held her hand. Hoping it would make her happy.
[I h-have so many th-things to say, s-so many things to teach… But, my t-time has c-c-come. I must tell you… The mountain b-by the sea… Besides it a… Within the sh-shadows of a ravine that will h-hold the… Key… It will make a p-perfect home, a perfect… Hive. Go… There as s-soon as y-you… Can…]
A mountain near the sea? Alright.
[A-And, I know t-this is… Cruel… Leaving you s-so soon. But I-I beg of you… Could you fulfill my f-final re...quests?]
Ah…
…
I nodded. The least I can do is hear her out at least.
[I…] She almost hesitated. [I beg of you, p-please get rid o-of the humans that p-plague this land. You have the power… Power to make… Them… Pay. That… Is your purpo…se.]
...I…
[And that… I have a d-daughter… Pir’mu… I… If you ever find h-her… Make sure she s-suffers, suffers f-for her transgressions. Make s-sure her final… Moments a-are in fear… And live up t-to your… name… Your title… Of Star… Igniter…]
…
How am I supposed to respond? That sounds like an awful final wish. Hmm?
There’s a strange… Scent in the air, coming from my mother’s antenna. It’s floral, not too weak but not strong enough to be repugnant. For some reason I’m reminded of a melody played on a harp and a vision enters my mind of a mother and child. The mother lulls her child to sleep with her harp under the shade of a tree and when the child finally falls asleep, she hums a lullaby before she too, falls into slumber.
I didn’t quite realise the humming was coming from her too. Breaking down as the pheromones in the air began to fade.
[I-]
Her breath shuddered, her grip loosening.
And, with one last exhale.
[Love… Yo...u…]
My mother was no longer of this world.
Silence has dominated the world around me. My brain still couldn’t process what I was seeing, only registering the fading pheromone and the increase of blood and gore.
J-Just what was going on around me? I had just been born, supposedly reincarnated as some sort of… Giant spider!
And now the realisation that I had very likely killed my new mother was starting to slowly creep into my consciousness.
Nausea crept up on me. I felt sick.
Deep breaths. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.
...Ugh.
I plop myself onto the floor, adjusting myself to rest on my front while stretching my arm out to tap the wooden floor to help me think.
I just need to calm down and think, right? Just process everything and…
…Oh god, have I seriously reincarnated? Did I die? Get hit by Truck-kun? That’s the same as dying, what am I saying? I can’t remember anything that would result in my demise. Think. I was at home and was looking through the fridge for food. I think I heard… Things, going on upstairs in a bedroom. Then I found a burrito and picked it up.
But that’s all that was left. The memory cuts off as soon as I picked up the burrito.
Wait.
Did I die from burrito poisoning?!
What a way to die if that’s the case. Hopefully, it's just my brain being weird and not, y’know, death by burrito.
Clack-clack.
Gah… My jaw is a pain to move. It’s certainly unique, not quite structured like a human jaw but similar, but it still didn’t explain why this part of my body was so difficult to control. Like the muscles inside were different and I had to pick it apart little by little like I was dissecting a frog with tweezers designed for ants. Spiders don’t even have jaws, right?
“Fifffdy… Fiffffy... “ Uh oh. “Muuhama. Mooohhmoo. Sethhven, sihxty nin.”
My words wouldn’t come out properly, completely slurred from my tongue and my jaw. The tongue felt like it was in the way and my jaw kept making odd movements, one half moving up and the other moving down when I talked like it wasn’t properly connected. While I can’t inspect my jaw, I could probably focus on my tongue if I- bwah!
Suddenly my jaw cracked and to my horror, I could feel my jaw muscles becoming tense as my jaw began to crack and shift in place, suddenly splitting in half from the chin before fangs erupted from its ends; the jaw itself extending around eight inches long. Just enough so I could see my chitin-covered jaw becoming a pair of deadly-looking mandibles that dripped a corrosive fluid into the wood below. The acid sizzles as soon as it hits the floor, the smell of melting wood hits my senses and watching utterly fascinated by the scene before me.
Huh. Okay. I have alien jaws. And my tongue?
With another click of my jaw I feel… Muscles at the bottom of my throat twitch and shift as my tongue slowly come out of a hidden slit. Several appendages unwrap themselves, revealing six tongues, tubular in shape and prehensile, judging by how easy I can move and flex them like a limb and tipped with alien-looking orb-shaped protrusions, each one strobing with blue and yellow bioluminescent patterns. All except for the middle tongue, tapered and-
Sssknint!
Oh! And there’s a needle hidden inside the centre tongue’s tip! The tongues were about three feet long but just as thin as a 1p coin, the orbs being the size of a tennis ball. And the needle seemed thinner and was about 2-3 inches long.
Weird. Looks like I’m going to have to discover what exactly I am if I’m going to survive. Just chalking it up to being a spider isn’t a good idea, I need to discover what I can and cannot do before I even think of leaving this tree.
Huh? That voice again! Who’s-
The feminine voice continued on, almost robotic, yet I could detect a tint of sadness in her tone.
H-Hey, wait-
Don’t you dare leave-
Something inside my mind clicked.
And just like that, the voice went silent.
Leaving me alone under the light of the full moons, wondering exactly what I’m supposed to do next.