Alright, so here's the deal. I understand the concept of level now, and with that came a bit of a understanding of the whole way the world works thing.
Now, here's the problem.
While I can open skill descriptions without a problem using my third sense, I can't think of a way to actually use whatever levelling gets me. Also, I don't think I have levelled.
[A Quest is available!!
'Menu? But we just met!'
Learn how to access the menu proper.
Rewards:
Upgrade from [Monster] to [Elite Monster]
Access to Menu
Access to Level System
Challenge Level removed
Character Level added
Job Level added
Ensoulment
Prerequisites (Requirements increased for Monsterhood):
20 Intelligence-Completed!
20 Wisdom-Completed!
Exceed 80% of the average lifespan of your species(Average lifespan:3 days) -Completed!]
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A Treatise On Elite Monsters, excerpt from chapter 5
The number of elite monsters for some races is entirely contrary to the requirements for that race to grow to elite status. This is because some enterprising member of that race, or another, set things up. For instance, Orcs must exceed 65% of the average lifespan of all orcs, rather than 40%. Some damn orc shaman decided to learn and fully master fertility spells, then proceed to enslave a few elves, cast on them so they would give birth to pure orc children, then rape the poor elves over and over, killing the resulting children.
By the time that bastard was found and killed, he had permanently skewed the numbers. These days, all Orcs can access the Menu by one year of age. They haven't even mastered Incredibly Basic English by then!
Oddly enough, while most low level non-sentient monsters should probably have average lifespans in the days or even hours, we've never really seen many true Elite dire rats. Maybe they can't access the Menu for some other reason?
Then again, I suppose that a dire rat would not precisely have the vocal chords to enunciate 'Menu' to complete that quest.
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After rereading the quest notification a few dozen times, I understand that that's kinda a big thing. Also.... Most slimes only live for 3 days?! Aaaaaaah! I'm a slime! And I've been alive for at least two and a half! Am I gonna die?!
Wait, no, average means that if you add together all the numbers, then... hm. Maybe most slimes die really quickly, but the ones that survive for a while tend to survive longer?
[Through understanding of basic mathematical concepts, you have learned the skill Arithmetic!
Arithmetic level 1
+1% Intelligence
Improves your math problem solving skills.]
I reread that until I understand the important parts. Oh, neat!
Oh, and Incredibly Basic English is at 12. Best skill, but takes way too long to level to practical use. Overall, I give it a 7/10.
...
Oh, I understand fractions now! And I also know what a fraction IS!
Ahem.
Right, so somehow I need to learn the secret of this menu
Hmmm.
Okay, well, hopefully something will turn up, because I don't have any ideas.
Oh, hey, slime minion feels some tremors underground! I eagerly slide over in that direction until I feel them, then start moving in that direction myself.
The ground gives way under me on the way, or more accurately isn't present. I don't even have the time to grab anything.
I slam directly into--Oh! Prey!
(This one would later be identified as a 'rabbit'.)
I wrap myself around it and don't even stop to digest the struggling creature, finding another and half a dozen smaller ones.
[Through consuming 2 complete simple nervous systems and 6 immature simple ones, you have obtained:
If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.
+5 Intelligence
+5 Wisdom
You have consumed Eyes
You have consumed Nose
You have consumed Ears]
Along with a whole bunch of other things. I quickly begin rereading the consumed messages over and over until I understand what I'm being offered. Unfortunately, this takes 3 minutes, and it isn't until I'm done that I hit the 'Timeout in' and it's down to 1 minute 50 seconds crap crap crap
Uhhh.... Think fast, think fast...
EARS! EYES!
[You have added the Ears evolution!
+5 Intelligence
+25 Wisdom
Sense Added:Hearing
You have added the Eyes evolution!
+10 Intelligence
+20 Wisdom
Sense Added:Sight
You have obtained the sight-dependent skill Analyze!
Your Eyes evolution has upgraded Analyze to Visual Scan
Visual Scan level 1 0% experience; passive+active for 50 mana
+25% Intelligence
Enables HP bars passively for enemies with up to a 200 level advantage
Enables MP bars passively for enemies with up to a 100 level advantage
Enables Level display passively for enemies with up to a 100 level advantage
Active use on person:
View full status screen against enemies with up to a 100 level advantage
Examine skills of enemies with up to a 50 level advantage, with 80% accuracy
1% chance to uncover weak point, scaled by visual obviousness of the weak point
Displays damage bonuses of uncovered weak points
Active use on item:
Display item durability and durability cap
Display item rarity
Display item level
Display physical item description
+50% identification chance on unidentified items(multiplicative)
Auto-identify Common items of up to level 1
Auto-identify Uncommon items at level 50
Auto-identify Rare items at level 100]
I have to read that a few dozen times to understand all that, but in the meantime, I think...
Huh, apparently Eyes are a upgrade to my third sense. Or perhaps the third sense was supposed to be going to Eyes, but I didn't have them?
I leave the burrow.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
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Alright, so it seems that adding a sensory evolution has a good chance of overwhelming me with the new input! Who knew?
Unlike humans, I don't have eyelids, so I'm forced to withstand the sensory overload until I come to my senses a little and go back underground.
Okay! That...was painful! But I'm sure with a little work and time, I'll become accustomed to it!
I turn my attention to the Minion.
....
AAAAAohwaitit'snotasbad.
It seems that being smaller, the Slime Minion evolved fewer eyes. Neat. Maybe I can use that to kind of adjust by proxy?
Hrm.
In the meantime, I start eating dirt while Reprocess Slime is on. It's not....particularly nutritious, but still, I'm getting something out of it.
Dirt evolution?
.....I think I'll pass. If the nutrition value effects the actual value of the effects, then this is literally worthless. And even grass was way more nutritious than this.
After a few minutes of nomming dirt, the texture changes.
[You have consumed Clay!]
Huh. It's a bit more nutritious, but still....uninteresting.
....
Is there a way to speed this up? I try shoving slimy tendrils through the dirt and scooping it into myself.
Oh, yes! That's so much more efficient! Not only am I now moving through the dirt faster, but I'm also engulfing smaller chunks! Small chunks get digested really fast, so I've almost tripled my digestion speed!
[Through innovation(!), you have gained:
+1 Intelligence!
+1 Wisdom!]
I reread that new word until I understand it.
...Innovation.
....
Improvement in every way, from technology to the self, is crucial. To my understanding, Slimekind as a whole is pretty stupid if we usually only last a few days. Perhaps, then, there are slime skills that have yet to be discovered by any? Skills that once learned could be taught to My lessers so we can even the scales somehow?
[Through innovative action, you have discovered the semi-restricted skill Burrow!
Burrow level 1, 10%, cost 100 stamina/minute
Passive
Increases digrate by 2%
Reduces mineral resistance by .5%
+.25 Earth affinity
Active
Grants a top burrow speed of .25 m/s
Grants a burrow acceleration rate of .01 m/s/s
Grants a burrow braking rate of 1 m/s/s
Grants a burrow steering rate of .5 dps
Burrow speed and acceleration is decreased by mineral resistance
Burrow braking rate is increased by mineral resistance]
I keep digging as I digest that.
After a few minutes, I hit a doozy of a word.
Affinity.
Your potential to manipulate and command the elements.
To have one in a element means you are vaguely capable of using it. In the same way that a small child is vaguely capable of moving a tree, that is to say, given tools and a LOT of time and risk of self-harm, you are able to achieve the task.
To have ten in a element means you have some small amount of respect from lesser elementals, and can actually use it unassisted without killing yourself, given you have the mana to do so.
To have a hundred means that all elementals will acknowledge you to a degree and will at least regret needing to harm you, and that you can use moderately powerful skills from that element.
To have a thousand?
I instinctively know that at a thousand, even the mightiest elemental would view me as a friend, and all lesser elementals would be subservient to you.
Of course, a thousand in a affinity would be nearly impossible to attain. You can't even begin to imagine the amount of dilligent study in various skills that would require!
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"So, the Archmage is dead, and the insolent beast he spawned didn't even leave behind a body." The blazing man sneered at the smoke curling over the table, focus not leaving it for a minute.
The gathered elementals stood and spoke one by one.
"This does not concern us of the dark, for the Archmage cast lights without a thought to the shadows he disturbed." A figure wearing a cloak that seemed to draw in all light that approached it
On the opposite side of the table, another stood as they sat. This one was bursting with light, and by mutual agreement they had chosen to be as far away from each other as possible.
"The lights he cast were not enough to merit Our direct intervention, but where the Monster encounters Our Own, We shall surely Smite him." The brilliant figure disclaimed before sitting once more.
"Hizzz insightzzz into energiezzz were mozzzt welcome." Buzzed a energetic figure as he leapt from his seat. "We shall zzzap and shock the fiend! It shall not find any zzzafe placezzz to rezzzt wherever there izzz zzztorms!"
A serene voice is next to join the council as they flowed out of their seat. "The New One has chosen a path that may lead him to Our embrace." They declare. "If they continue this path, We shall give them succor; else We shall wash them out." A few dismayed voices begin to speak, but the water elemental cuts them off. "Thus shall it be, and you know well there is only One who has turned Us from Our course." They sit.
"That's right, dudes!" There are groans. "Oh my god, he actually came this time?" someone mumbles. "And I must say, it's totally not cool that Azera never used any of us, y'know?"
"Oh my god, Rock, shut up...." someone else groans.
"I think this new guy really has the potential to be radical!"
"Stop, We're begging you..." the Light says.
"Anyway, at the moment, he's in My realm, which means if you want to get to him..."
"We'll have to beat Yours down, right?"
"....Only if you mean in a Pogs tournament!"
"....Okay, you're taking this joke a little far, don't you think?" A soft voice declares. It continues airily, "In any case, I too stand in support of the newcomer on this matter."
"Aw, really, Breezy? That's sweet of you!" Rock declares.
"My NAME is Brezai'maqz." Declares the Wind Elemental. "For that matter, Rock isn't your name either!"
"Yeah, but Rock and Breezy roll off the tongue a lot better than Roqalamz and Brezai'maqz." Responded Rock. "Also, they're less cryptic!"
"Well, maybe I LIKE cryptic!" The wind elemental retorts. "Cryptic and SOPHISTICATED! Need I remind you all that we're the Lords of our Elements?! Show some decorum, or if not decorum, than at least responsibility! Do We not have any more important matters to attend to than that of a single slime?!" There are some sheepish mutters and throat-clearings, in spite of the fact that elementals do not in fact produce mucus that could clog their throats. "Right, then. On to the next.... important matter!"
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After a indeterminate amount of time(and 4 more levels of Burrow), I think Ive fully adapted to the sensations from your minion, so you order them to burrow and begin digging upwards. You pierce the surface quickly.
Ech. It still hurts me a bit to be up here, but I can tell that I'm not taking any real long term damage.
Ah! Moving shapes! You quickly slide back into the hole.
"....Don't see what's so dangerous about a slime." I hear. "Yeah, so it creamed some stupid fucking noob that was sent off to investigate Azzy's lab, the crazy bastard, but it's not like it's going to learn to access the System(!) Menu"
.....
.....System. What's.... That's a word that.....I don't learn a actual definiton for. I don't learn the associated concepts. Instead, a popup appears.
[A Quest is available!
'Nature of Reality'
Learn the secrets of the world!
Rewards:Variable Experience, Wisdom, Intelligence, possible Titles and Skills, depending on learned secrets.
Objective complete:Secret 1 learned:System Integrity
+50 exp
+1 Wisdom
+1 Intelligence
Error:EXP variable edited when EXP value does not exist
Solution:Other quest solved!
You have learned the secret to open the System Menu! Simply say the words 'System Menu', and the menu will appear! Afterwards, you can set your menu to open based on mental command, gesture, or by a unique phrase!]
I read all those words enough times to understand things like what speech is and what happened.
....
Alright, let's just kind of....
"Grblm grmu"
.....Oh.
"Grblm grmu! GRBLM GRMU!"
.....Oh, no.
[A Quest is available!
'A Caged Bird'
Oh. Oh dear, you would appear to be mute. Find some other way to activate the System Menu! I'm so sorry, little Birdy, but I can't help you with this! You must find a way to sing on your own!]
...
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!