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King of Fools : Silver Tongue
Chapter 10: Clothes Maketh Man

Chapter 10: Clothes Maketh Man

They arrived in town as the sun was falling, and the desert was shrugging off the day's heat to settle into a long, frigid night. The town couldn't have been more different than the land it sprung from-- cool shadows of palm trees fell upon the houses and sheltered the streets, the river filled the air with the bell-like sound of running water, and frogs chirruped in the evening dark. Above the flattened skyline of the low city, the skeletons of huge pyramids rose up, constructed from smooth stone.

The houses were made in blocky, squared shapes out of solid white stucco, with red adobe walls that ran at waist-height alongside the streets. There was something pleasing about it. Every house had a little bed of dark soil and green life. Trellis frames hung with vines formed curtain walls.

It was a paradise in the harsh sands-- Amun and Teysa peeled off at the gate, stopping to haggle a fee with a bored-looking guardsman who wore a pointed helmet wrapped with cloth to keep the sun off his face. Jasper just kept walking.

There were massive spiders in the city. Oddly, Jasper didn't feel any fear. They wore colored blankets fringed with beads on their backs, and long reins to guide them down the streets. They were obviously tame, and in a way, their black eyes and furry bodies could almost be cute. They were carrying everything from building materials to little carriage cars made of canvas over a frame, with a chair under the canopy to sit in. They walked slowly, and the crowds parted around them.

In the distance, Jasper could smell something delicious...

"You! Bard!" The sound of Amun's gravelly, foppish voice snapped Jasper out of the trance that was guiding him towards food. "Why'd you run off like that? If you can't pay the entry fee, just say so dammit, don't make me apologize for you..."

"Sorry. I just figured you had more practice. Y'know, after apologizing to every girl you've ever tried to sleep with." Jasper--

Winced at himself, really. It had just slipped out.

Amun looked equally shocked.

And then he started to redden.

Jasper saw the punch coming, and ducked under the first, clumsy blow. It was the first time he'd ever managed that, and the sudden wave of self-satisfaction left him blind to the follow-up.

Amun kneed him hard in the stomach, grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, and pulled him into a hard left jab.

Teysa and Thorn were rushing towards them--

Jasper spat a wad of bloody spit into Amun's face--

And then a guard seized Amun and hauled him back, the red-headed spearman kicking and flailing as he was hauled into an headlock. Jasper was yanked up to his feet before he fell, and a hand pulled the sword out of his belt, disarming him.

"Cease!" A rustic voice called. "Both of you."

Oh, I'll just cease getting hit then. Jasper thought. So easy! I should've thought of that.

As their companions rushed onto the scene, Teysa held up her hands, trying to explain. "We're sorry, we're sorry! We're ah, the adventuring party from Ceincrathe. They're both with us, it was just a little spat..."

"This dog insulted me! I am the son of Baron Malimori and I demand this rabid animal be punished!" Amun was still kicking and pulling against the guard's grip, his face only growing redder by the second as cannon-sprays of spittle exploded up with each fricative syllable.

"Oh?" The guard raised a single eyebrow. "And what did he say?"

"Yeah, what did you say to, ah, to our Young Lord Malimori?" The grip on him was actually loosening, and Jasper made sure not to struggle. Pissing these people off was a bad idea...

"I said..."

But Jasper felt the anger rising in him.

"I was just saying that it must be nice, having a butler to deliver his written apology to the girls storming out of his bedchamber.” Jasper felt the knife trying to form in his palm, but he squeezed his hand shut, preventing it from appearing. It wasn’t a talent that would help here. “Really saves him time, since he can’t keep them in there longer than a minute.”

There was a sharp, strangled snort from the guard holding his arms. Amun’s face was already apoplectic- now the shade verged towards apocalyptic.

“Well sir, we know how to deal with troublemakers like this. Rest yourself easy tonight knowing he’ll be given his due punishment.” The other guard said, and slowly, waiting for the spearman to relax, he let Amun slide out of his grip.

“Amun, knock this off. You wanted him– you got him, mouth and all.” Thorn snapped.

Amun didn’t look at her as he made a show of brushing the dust from his armor. His eyes were on Jasper, coldly triumphant. “Well men, I’m sure you know how to handle this kind of creature better than I do. I’ll leave him to your care and collect him come morning.”

“We’ll make sure he learns his lesson.” The guard said, respectfully saluting as his comrade pulled Jasper away–-

— — —

“And then, I told him he must be good at apologizing to girls, since he spends an hour doing it for every minute he gets in bed!”

The guardhouse was in uproar. The prisoners laughed– the guards laughed– the mangy little dog the guards kept as a mascot was barking as it ran between their legs, catching onto the air of excitement. Jasper leaned against the hard stone walls and plucked at the strings of his lute, a plate of dinner set beside him. It wasn’t much– porridge mash with a drizzle of something hot and spice-laden atop– and it stung his split lip, but it was better food than he was used to.

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The guards probably weren’t supposed to give him alcohol with it, but they had. A thick, foul-tasting malt liquor that formed black crusts atop its red surface. Just the small cup was enough to give the world a pleasing sway and bend…

It turned out people weren’t exactly fans of the nobility around here. Like Teysa had suggested, most of the Ardish folk who came out here were trying to get away from the noble politics of being drafted to kill their neighbors, and the Midlunders were still sore from the conquering they’d gotten.

Jasper’s punishment amounted to the sternest telling-off they could manage while keeping a straight face, and a night spent on a prison cot.

“Aye, you’re an local boy, right?” One of the prisoners– an ancient drunk with wild, greasy black hair– asked. He was giving Jasper the oddest look, as if he recognized something here was off but couldn’t place what it was. “Maybe from down Arrohan way?”

“Born in Midlund, but my mother was Ardish.” Teysa had given him a good cover story, and he planned to run with it for as long as he could. It would explain why people saw their own kind in him wherever he went.

“He’s a good lad.” One the guards put in drunkenly. “No fear of that stuck-up prig in him.”

“Aye. I just want to know where that song’s from. Never heard’a song like tha…” The old drunk asked. “S’pretty.”

“Oh…” Jasper had been idly letting his fingers run across the strings. Ever since he’d played for the adventurers, it seemed that music just spilled forth when he touched an instrument, without any effort on his part. It was nice…

It was a talent that wasn’t for killing things.

“It’s from my mother’s side of the family. From Ardaen.” And when he got to Ardaen, it’d be from Midlund.

But really, it was from Tolkein.

“Say, does anyone want to hear a story. It’ll take some time, but time I seem to have…”

— — —

By morning Jasper knew most of the guards by name, and one had drunkenly offered to make introductions to his sister, a girl of about Jasper’s age.

They put on sober, stony faces as they led him out of the cell to where Amun was waiting. Thorn and Tesya stood behind him, wearing the same kind of rigid, stern expression,

Amun harrumphed for a moment– and Thorn kicked him in the back of the knee.

“Right. Right…” Coughing again, awkwardly, Amun nodded to the men. “Good job, uh, handling this miscreant, but…”

“You could always choke to death right here and now, and you wouldn’t have to apologize.” Jasper noted. “I wouldn’t mind.”

“I think I despise you.” Amun said, his voice breaking for a second in pure strangled outrage.

“Shouldn’t have hired me then.” Jasper replied.

“I’ll have to make a note– no more taking pity on strange, ugly vagrants.” His voice curled.

“I’ll happily give you a broken nose to help you remember.” The guards behind Jasper were rolling their eyes. Teysa and Thorn could clearly sympathize.

“I hope you get eaten by a monster, I really do.” Amun just sounded defeated now.

“I’d haunt you, but my ghost won’t be worse than what you see in the mirror every day.” Jasper finished–

There was a long pause, during which Amun really did seem to consider choking and dying, and then–

“I apologize for losing my temper. We should be better to one another, as we’re adventuring together, but I think we both let our worst impulses run away with us. Ah…” Reaching down, Amun took out a small purse and slung it into Jasper’s hands. “And I will pay half in advance, to help ease things down. I realize you probably don’t have any money, after being robbed and kidnapped.”

See, and here I had you all wrong. Jasper thought. You’d never apologize to a girl, you’d just pay them not to mention it.

But what he said was.

“Thanks.”

Amun nodded stiffly. “Get yourself some new clothes and armor. You look– I don’t know, but you don’t look proper for an adventurer.”

And then he stormed off, pushing past Thorn.

The two of them looked at Jasper.

Jasper smiled in what he hoped was an innocent manner.

“He’s an asshole.” Thorn said. “But he’s our ticket to a good life. Don’t upset him.” Then she was gone.

“We’re staying at a merchant’s house, in the upper quarter. It’s beautiful here.” Teysa said, trying to fill the silence. “And come the night, we’ll be going out to hunt the spirit beast. We found a buyer and the pay is good…”

Jasper was pulling open the purse. Inside were silver coins shaped in a vague hourglass, rough at the edges, with the image of two birds diving in opposite directions printed across the face. Their crossed tails were the slender portion of the hourglass, outstretched wings the wider part.

“But really, Jasper, you need to be more careful. He could have had you whipped.”

He glanced up.

“I know. I can’t seem to help it. I just…” He paused, but there was no finessing it. “I just let myself get angry.”

“Well, that puts you in bad company.” Teysa replied. “Because so does Amun.”

“Can you show me to somewhere I can buy new clothes?” Jasper asked, eager to change the subject.

“Sure.”

And she led him down the streets from the tall, narrow spire of the guardhouse, leading him across the bridge that spanned the river– it was a gorgeous sight, silver fish flowing beneath the clear, cool water, and lily pads drifting at the end of root tethers. Long ivy spilled off either side of the bridge, thirstily reaching for the water’s surface below.

The houses on the far side were more respectable. They had colorful awnings of dyed canvas, and fruit trees in their courtyards, the scent of citrus wafting through the rising heat of the morning air. The crowds thinned out here– the people who walked past were well-dressed and attended by servants.

Several of the houses lived a double life as shops– they placed decorative goods outside the doors on rich carpets, with bored guards standing by to watch over the merchandise. Teysa led him past ornate jars as tall as he was, bolts of fabric that shimmered like liquid silver, and a strange set of cages that contained bizarre creatures reaching through the bars.

They stopped at a house that displayed silk dresses, finely-dyed robes, and gleaming, sturdy coat made from steel rings.

“Don’t buy anything without my say-so.” Teysa warned. “They’re going to try and charge you the Ardish rate.”

They stepped inside, into a gleaming space lined with tapestries where decapitated wooden mannequins modeled clothes and armor. Jasper’s eyes spotted a jacket of sea-green silk with an underlying layer of lacquered black leather and rounded metal scales– then darted over, to a heavier, longer coat of leather armor, this one stitched with golden thread in the shape of rising flowers.

Every piece was immaculate.

As Teysa greeted the shopkeeper in the distance, Jasper was fully immersed into the beautiful world of things he could buy.

Sitting underneath the sea-green jacket’s plinth was a small plaque, carved into bamboo.

Suncatcher Silk w/ Regent-Lizard Leather Cuirass

Certified as Least-Potent

Draws sunlight into mana. Inscribed with runes of reinforcement and self-mending.

Jasper wanted it.