I would say my life flashed before my eyes as I fell from the airplane, but that would be a lie; my life is much too boring for it to have any meaning to me. My name is James Young, an 18-year old virgin who wastes his time every day locked in his room, playing video games, reading comic books, and watching anime. I'm a disappointment to my extremely wealthy family - my father started an oil business when he was fifteen, and my mother comes from a long line of influential aristocrats. Meanwhile, I'm eighteen, and I've never earned a dollar. I've also never had a girlfriend (unless dating sims count).
I was flying on my private jet to Japan, so I could waste a thousand bucks buying anime figurines in Akihabara when my sad, wasted life was suddenly cut short. Basically, our engines busted, and we began to fall. Panicking, I grabbed what my hysterical mind decided was an unopened parachute and jumped out the "EMERGENCY EXIT" door. Halfway down, I realized what I thought the unopened parachute was, in fact, my backpack with my $5,000 gaming PC inside.
Hey, at least I can die with all my video games.
The ground was getting closer… closer… closer…
“I never got to buy my anime figurines” was my last thought before I crashed into the ground.
***
I came to in a shining, golden room. I stood up and looked around: The room was rather plain, with a single table and chair in the middle. On the chair sat a woman. She had long, white hair and ethereal, multicolored eyes. "James Young," she said as she stood up — she was at least six feet tall, wearing a seemingly white dress that shimmered with a thousand colors when taking a closer look. What made her truly majestic, however, was the tiny, elegant feathers on her back that formed together a pair of giant wings. "Age eighteen. Died from falling out of an airplane," she continued.
"W-where am I?" I muttered.
Wait, didn't I just die? Who is this saintly woman with wings?
"Who are you?" I asked cautiously.
The woman rolled her eyes. "Why are humans so stupid? You're in a type of Limbo, I guess... a space between the living world and the Afterlife. I'm Uriel, Archangel of Wisdom, one of the Seven Archangels. I tend to all the deaths that happen on Wednesdays."
My head hurt as the information Uriel gave me kept swimming in my head.
Uriel sighed. "Well, you just died and now you choose where to go next."
"Aren't I supposed to go directly to Heaven?"
"Well, yes, however, not everyone wants to go to Heaven nowadays, so God implemented a new system that gives the souls of the deceased a choice. You have three options: One, go directly to Heaven and spend all of the eternity in infinite bliss with everyone who ever died; two, reincarnate in your world again and receive a second chance at life."
"I'll go to Heaven-"
"Who taught you manners?" Uriel scoffed condescendingly. "Didn't I say there were three choices? The third choice is to reincarnate again, but in a different world — a 'Fantasy World' in your perception".
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
I was about to say, "I don't care, I'll take Heaven," before stopping to think about the third choice. Sure, Heaven is the epitome of a happy ending, but I'll always be me: a nerd, a virgin, and a shut-in disappointment. If I were to reincarnate in a fantasy world... then I'd reincarnate as a hero! Probably an overpowered one at that. I'd be adept at magic, and I'd make my amazing harem. I can live a fulfilling life in a fantasy world, then proceed to Heaven when I become bored.
"I'll take the third option, please," I said.
"Great!" Uriel smiled elegantly then snapped her fingers. A cup appeared in her hand, and she handed it to me. "Now, choose one."
I looked into the cup, and I saw a sea of tiny pieces of paper.
"What am I supposed to do?" I asked puzzledly.
"Well, you see, we can't have everyone be an overpowered hero," Uriel laughed. "So, you choose a piece of paper and it will decide who you will be in the next life!"
Shit. This isn't good... I might not reincarnate as a hero at all! But... if I look at it this way, this is very cliche. A shut-in dies in a laughable accident, then chooses to get reincarnated in a fantasy world. According to all the laws of light novels and anime, I would become an overpowered hero! Destiny has decided that I will become a handsome prodigy in my next life.
"Fantasy harem, here I come!!!" I hollered, grabbing one of the pieces of paper. As soon as I did, the cup disappeared, leaving me with the tiny piece of paper. Opening it up, I read the messy handwriting:
Generic Mountain Orc.
I stared blankly at the piece of paper that just decided the race and occupation in my next life. Uriel was laughing: "Ha ha ha! Generic Mountain Orc! You're going to be reincarnated as a fucking Generic Mountain Orc! Ha ha ha!"
Disbelief turned into panic. Panic turned into hysteria. Hysteria turned into my inner shut-in going into overdrive mode. Uriel is one of those hard-to-play Tsunderes, the insane part of my brain told me. Come on, I have this girl in the bag. I've played a thousand dating sims and you are a dating master. Surely I can handle this situation.
Yes, I'll blow her away with my awesomeness. Time to convince Uriel I deserve to be an overpowered hero with my smooth moves...
"PLEASE!!!!!" I begged, throwing myself to her feet - if I had any dignity before, it's all gone now. "DON'T MAKE ME CANNON FODDER! I'M BEGGING YOU, I'LL DO ANYTHING!!!"
Uriel looked stunned for a moment. "Um, James-"
"I'll be your slave!" I begged. "I'll do anything. I'll, I'll... I'll lick your feet! Just please please please don't make me a generic mountain orc!!!"
Uriel sighed. "When have humans fallen so low?" I could hear the pity in her voice. "Listen, I can't make you anything other than an orc-"
No, no, no, no, NO! This is bad. Very bad. If I spend my next life as an orc, it'll be worse than being an 18-year old virgin-
"However, I can do something else for you." My face lit up. "Well... don't tell anyone, but..." Uriel kneeled down and touched my head.
My body suddenly filled with warmth. My senses exploded. I couldn't feel my body as a feeling of ecstasy came over me.
"W-what did you do?" I asked.
"Well... I felt kinda guilty... so you can keep all the memories of your past life."
I couldn't believe my ears. Sure, I would rather just become an awesome knight, but with my eighteen years of fantasy gaming knowledge... I could take over the world!
"THANK YOU!" I sobbed as I jumped up and embraced Uriel.
"Ew... EW! Filthy human, what the fuck are you doing?!" Uriel screamed as she pushed me away and sighed. "Seriously, you better not take my wish for granted... I've never given this ability to anyone else ever before, so-"
"Uriel, you're the best!" I beamed. "Thank you so much! You're the kindest person I ever knew!"
"...That's the first time anyone has ever said that to me."
The floor opened up beneath me, and I began to fall. I smiled and waved at a bemused Uriel, before thinking. In most games I've played, Orcs live to around fifty, and mature when they're ten. With my knowledge... forty years would be enough time to take over the world.
I wanted to be an overpowered hero but becoming an orc mastermind isn't so bad either.