CHAPTER TEN

First Thaw

Magnus and Ellis had been back in Russia for nearly a month, and still, Karou was scurrying around the unit like a mouse. She'd shrunken into herself, hoping that by doing so, she'd go unnoticed.

That tactic hadn't been effective. Warren had detected Karou's behavioural changes, which highlighted there was an issue rather than disguised it. Exactly what was wrong with her; he didn't know, and he wasn't going to pry. He was still embarrassed that Karou probably knew what he and Ellis had gotten up to over Christmas.

Warren's embarrassment manifested as a perpetual annoyance when Karou was present. Though there was no conversation, he'd started to nag at her. Untidiness was one of his pet peeves, and he was getting tired of asking Karou to put her shoes away. Dirty dishes left in the sink for more than an hour was unnecessary, he thought. The TV remote was permanently abandoned on the sofa and never placed on the coffee table in its designated spot. Her corner of the couch was consistently cluttered with all the scatter cushions and not one but two blankets! Most mornings, she left toothpaste in the sink and hair in the shower's plughole. Karou never put anything back where she found it. The list went on, and things infuriated him more as they mounted. All he'd done for weeks was bark orders at her. As a result, Karou's demeanour had gotten more avoidant.

They were trapped in a vicious circle. Living together would've been easier for both of them if they'd cleared the air, but alas, neither was brave enough to approach the other first. Though there would come a point when they'd have to talk, Warren was relieved that she hadn't brought up his sexual escapades and that his life was back to normal.

When it came to not breaking the thick silence between them, his stamina was holding up a lot better than Karou's. Social distance was his forte, whereas Karou felt like she was suffocating. It turned out that being invisible here was almost as unbearable as being back in Hanover with her violent, drunken mother.

The New Year had come and gone. Even though they'd both stayed up until after midnight, watching the worldwide celebrations on TV continue despite the war, they barely exchanged a word.

A few short nights later, the tension would culminate on what had become a usual evening. Karou was curled up in the corner of the couch in her pyjamas. She'd been hugging a scatter cushion to her chest with her chin nestled into it. The movie she'd chosen for them to watch had taken a turn, and she'd forgotten that there was a rather graphic sex scene about a third of the way through. With a bright, amber-coloured blush painted across the centre of her face, Karou face-planted into the cushion with an annoyed groan as the two protagonists began to 'go at it' at a vigorous and passionate pace.

Warren had been watching Karou watch the movie, which he'd taken to doing a lot lately. He didn't know why, but she usually amused him more than the film's plot. If she particularly liked the movie and had seen it numerous times, she'd mouth the words during her favourite parts. The blush spread across her cheeks hadn't escaped him. Briefly, he glanced at the screen to see what had set her off and seeing the two naked actors entangled in each other's limbs made him bristle, too—memories of Christmas were still fresh in his mind. It occurred to him that perhaps Karou couldn't watch because she was also privy to his recent antics. In reaction, he grabbed the remote from the coffee table and hit pause. Once the audio cut out, Karou peeped up from her hiding place and in Warren's direction instead.

"Would you like me to skip ahead?"

"Yeah, that'd be great, thanks," Karou replied in a voice not much louder than a whisper, but at least they'd finally broken the silence.

"D'you have a crush on the male lead?" Warren smirked and sipped his scotch—a rouse to try and remain casual and keep his motive for probing her inconspicuous.

"No, why?"

"You're blushing."

"It's just embarrassing to watch, that's all. I mean, it never happens in real life like in the movies." Karou fumbled through her explanation. She wasn't speaking from experience, but she didn't want Warren to know that.

"Art mimics life, but why compare the real thing to entertainment?"

Her eyes rolled, "It's not that entertaining."

"Good thing, we get to do this then," Warren skipped forward from the scene.

He had been about to press play and resume their silence when Karou lowered the cushion from her chest and angled herself toward him. "Warren..." She started.

Alerted by his name, he set down the remote, prepared to listen. For a few stretched moments, there was silence.

While he stared at her, she stared back until she admitted bravely, "I saw you and Ellis together at Christmas,"

"Really?" His calm never wavered, though she'd brought up the one thing he wanted to forget. He hoped he hadn't tarnished her innocence. A part of him was annoyed that she'd spied on them and not only heard their antics by accident. Sure, he hadn't given her a choice other than to live with him, but he still valued his privacy. "How much did you see?"

"Kissing. Mostly. I stopped looking before anything really happened. I didn't really see anything." Her blush grew fiercer as she explained, and her focus on the couch more intense. She only dared to look at Warren sparingly to gauge his reaction, but his expression was challenging to read.

"Thank you for being so considerate of my modesty. I'm assuming that's what's made you so timid lately—your embarrassment? I might not be much of a talker, but I've noticed your silence."

"It wasn't really that that upset me." Karou wasn't sure upset was the right word to describe how she felt. "I mean, it was embarrassing, but what I overheard the morning after… that bothered me."

"You shouldn't pay any mind to what Ellis says," Warren shook his head dismissively and hoped Karou would infer from his tone how fervently he believed most of what his Sire spewed was horseshit without him having to say so. "She's bitter and probably just jealous."

"Jealous? How could she possibly be jealous of me when she looks like she does?" Karou began to pick at her fingernails; it was a nervous habit that he'd questioned her about before. Keeping her eyes as distracted from Warren as possible, she hated the fact that Ellis was right about everything she'd said. "I-I will never look like her. I'm not and never could be in her league."

"No, you're not." Warren agreed.

The snide comment stung Karou. Her brow pinched, and her eyes welled, but she remained silent, expecting no less.

"Why would you want to look like her?" Warren asked, being careful not to give too much away. Knowing Karou to be a curious little creature, he didn't want her to ferret around in his words too much and find the sentiment he was trying to hide. Nothing he said was meant to imply he didn't find Ellis physically attractive— he did—but he also thought Karou was pretty. It was a pity that she didn't think the same. Though he'd long held that opinion since meeting her the first time, he felt that those words from his lips could do more harm than good.

"I don't know. I guess maybe then I would get noticed. Y'know, by boys, I mean men."

"You get noticed by plenty of men." It was true. He'd witnessed many of the Compound's male residents and staff 'notice' her on more than one occasion. Some of them weren't shy about it, either. Karou wasn't looking for that kind of attention as much as she thought she was, he thought. The fact that she didn't seem to notice them only made them stare after her more eagerly. Even Warren supposed she could be a tease.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

"You don't have to do that 'father figure' thing. Y'know, like how dads tell their daughters how lovely and precious and 'beautiful' they are to make them feel better," Karou whined and pulled the scatter cushion into her chest a little tighter.

"Of course, how stupid of me—" Charming, A paternal figure am I? "—I couldn't possibly have been saying that as just a member of the opposite sex." Grabbing his cigarettes from the coffee table, Warren lit up and sighed a plume of blue-hued smoke into the lounge to distract from how he awkwardly cleared his throat.

That only needs to bother you if you want her to recognise you as 'a man' and 'a possibility'.

Thank goodness she couldn't hear his seedy thoughts. It was probably for the best that Karou didn't know Ellis was right; they were walking the fine line between what was appropriate and what wasn't in living together. An older man cohabitating with a much younger and attractive woman, rumours were so easily concocted from that fact alone.

"Well, how are you saying it then? Does someone here think I'm pretty? Are you saying that you find me—" Karou paused and chose her words carefully, "—attractive?" She asked, brave, despite fearing the 'obvious' answer.

Warren wanted to kick himself. To answer honestly was inappropriate, but to lie would have been cruel. "Perhaps a little more than I should. Why?"

In the wake of his astonishing answer, he stared hard at Karou, but his eyes gave nothing of his inner turmoil away.

"It would be pretty shitty of you to be saying that just to tease me." Her eyes narrowed; it was hardly threatening but showed her doubt.

"I think a lot of men find you attractive, Karou; you just never pay them any mind. Why does it matter to you what I think anyway?" Warren took a long drag from his cigarette, shifted his legs into a crossed position, and faced her head-on.

"It doesn't." She lied, and her flitting gaze made that fact unconcealable.

"Really?" Warren grinned deviously, affording himself the right to toy with her if she were going to be so forward. He leaned forward, flicking a tower of ash into the ashtray on the coffee table, and from under his brow, he stared hard. Aiming for his smouldering eyes to fluster her enough to answer all his intrusive questions. "That being the case, how do you find me? Handsome?" Warren pried, leaning forward in his seat; closer. "Maybe that's why what I think matters to you."

"I just said it doesn't matter, didn't I?" Karou snapped, her wide, lying eyes finding his. Instantly, from the smug look on his face, she knew she'd fallen into a trap. It took her a few moments to gather herself before quietly she continued: "But—yeah, I do. But you already knew that. I think you know a lot of women do."

"Hmm, well, you tried to lie about it. You're not a very good liar, Karou." Warren let go of a sigh, and he wondered how deep their conversation could get. After another moment of long looks, he cleared his throat to say, "They might find me aesthetically pleasing, but that's always where it ends. My ways usually put them off."

"Oh, sure. I didn't say I liked your personality. You can be kinda a jerk, and you're so grumpy all the time." Karou didn't want to flatter Warren's already enormous ego, so she shot him down with a home truth—a known one but, nonetheless, wounding. "You lack social etiquette." Karou chirped; it was something she recalled Isabel saying. Somehow, the Vampiress found his moods endearing; Karou couldn't see the charm herself.

"Now, who's lacking in social etiquette?" Warren rolled his eyes. "Some people might not find your brutal honesty charming, y'know. You're lucky, I appreciate it."

Karou ignored his attempt to distract her with mildly deprecating humour. "Hmm, but you're not honest either, are you?" she wondered rhetorically. There was no time for him to deny it because she continued, "And you're very good at lying. Earlier, you admitted to not liking Ellis, so why do you sleep with her?"

Disarming words, followed by a jarring question. Karou had turned the tables, now he was under fire. The game was becoming increasingly more personal, and usually, he would mind. If she hadn't already met Ellis and knew about their affair, he never would've entertained a conversation about his personal life. Speaking earnestly on such an uncomfortable topic didn't feel natural, but Karou's kind eyes somehow helped him remain candid.

"Instinct, I think. I find it hard to say no to her because she's my Sire. She has a hold on me. I'm not formidable. I'm just one man. We're rather the weaker sex when it comes to physical offerings."

"Is it always like that with Sire's and fledgelings then?" Karou had been reading a lot about Vampires lately. Since she'd found herself living with Warren and suspected he was one, she had been using him as a case study.

"No. Not always. Most Sire and fledgeling pairings are at least friendly towards one another, and they undoubtedly share a bond, but it can take on characteristics of any relationship: parental, mentor and student, friends, perhaps something similar to a sibling bond with the complexities of the rivalries." Warren's explanation sounded as if he were reading from a textbook. In truth, he knew extraordinarily little about the intricacies of social interactions, including Vampiric ones. He'd probably memorised that spiel from Magnus, the walking, talking encyclopedia. His mentor had written many compendiums on Vampirics in his five-hundred-plus years.

"Sometimes it's romantic, then?"

"Rarely, but yes, it can be. More commonly, it's about basal gratification. The excitement that comes with sharing blood can quickly descend into something sexual."

At this explanation, Karou's head tilted in that bird-like way of hers. It made Warren smile, and in turn, she smiled back, hardly believing she had drawn such an expression from him.

"You might find my relationship with Ellis strange, but if I didn't see her, I probably wouldn't be getting any at all." Warren joked as he swept his hand back through his hair.

"Oh, that's untrue. Perhaps you just haven't noticed who else might be interested." Since she'd abandoned the shield that was the cushion she'd been clung onto, Karou had involuntarily inched closer and closer. How she moved along with the suggestiveness of her statement seemed to have also gone over her head. Karou had women like Isabel Finch in mind; she would have undoubtedly flung herself at Warren if he'd given her half a chance.

Words escaped Warren. He'd never entertained Ms. Finch's fawning nor acknowledged or recognised any unsolicited female attention, so he foolishly assumed Karou was flirting with him.

In the silence, he saw all the things about her that he would later scold himself for. It didn't matter that he reminded himself of her tender age; he couldn't help his gaze tracing the lace of her bra, which was visible through the fabric of her pyjama top and how her slender legs beneath the high hemmed sleep shorts curled at her side. He could barely keep the image of them wrapped about his hips from surfacing through the murky depths of his imagination. The choir of imaginary devils were proving difficult to keep at bay once more. The deviants outnumbered the voices of reason, and they leered at her from behind his eyes, howling, growling, and baying like ravenous hounds. His body stiffened in his seat as he commanded it not to move an inch further toward her. Why do we always want what we can't have?

It was a question that a part of him had an answer to—an excuse—a reason to take what he wanted because why should he limit himself when she was the one that had moved closer? Take what you want. That's right, let her come nearer. Closer so that you can touch her.

Quiet! He screamed internally, muzzling the lecherous beasts so that he could regain composure.

"Did you—" He cleared his throat. "Did you want to watch the end of the movie?"

The finality with which he stubbed out his cigarette was a physical metaphor for how fervently he was trying to stomp out the desirous fire growing inside of him.

"Uh—Sure," Karou replied, taken aback. She hadn't known what she had expected him to say next, but it wasn't that.

"Right, well, I'll let you continue then. I'm going to bed." He slid the remote nearer Karou and stood to leave.

When he passed by, Karou suddenly sat up on her knees and called his name. "Warren."

"Yes… Karou?" With just inches between their bodies, he froze. Warren stared down into her blue eyes, marbled like polished gun-metal and noticed that the freckles that sprinkled her upper cheeks and nose seemed to twinkle in the dark. The hasty decision he'd made not to breathe saved them both. Karou could see from the risky distance between them that his eyes were now deep blue, edging toward bloodthirst.

"Thank you for talking to me tonight. It's the longest conversation we've had."

If only you knew what I've been thinking, you wouldn't thank me—there have been so many, too many, close calls.

"I'm sorry I'm not better at conversation or giving you attention."

Karou smiled. The dishonest man was being truthful.

"Goodnight, Karou."

"Goodnight. Sleep tight."