Papers flew through the air along with the flailing of arms and clattering of an office chair to the ground. The being stood up as a dark void in the shape of a hooded figure. She was an abscess in reality in the otherwise normal looking office. Her dissatisfaction was evident in her groans and curses. She picked back up her chair as someone knocked at her door. She sat down with a plop and rubbed her temples.

“Fucking hell, come in.” The woman said, her voice carried a cold finality. 

The door opened and in floated a being that appeared to be a man with seven heads, one of a bull, ram, eagle, human, yatta- yatta. She stopped caring and refused to identify him further. He was undoubtedly some fucking psychopomp intern here to tell her what she already knew. She had half a mind to kick him out but sighed as he floated in papers in hand.

“Excuse me, uh, ma’am uh Goddess Death.” The psychopomp said as he bowed.

A chair rose out of the hardwood floor. Black energy swirled around the object as it took shape solidifying into the material plane.

Death looked at his name tag. “Liherahsvesdehandula, fuck thats a long name. May I call you Lee, you know what, I am just going to call you Lee.” She extended her hand towards the chair. “Have a seat. No need to bow.” 

Lee looked at the chair with some suspicion but did as he was told without question. When death tells you to do something you do it. Now that he was in her domain he just hoped he would be able to leave. He was sweating bullets when he looked at the obviously pissed off Goddess. The papers he had in his hands were shaking as he tried to calm himself down. 

He only wanted this job because everyone said it paid well but dealing with the Gods was stressful. He thought they would be these powerful enigmatic beings that wielded unknowable forces and knowledge. Sure The God of Heaven, Goddess of Knowledge and strangely enough the God of Revenge and Goddess of Mischief all acted that way but the rest were childish assholes most of the time. Childish or not they were still Gods and omnipotent in their own right. 

Lee looked at the black void in front of him and felt the cold of death seep into him. Color started to drain from his face as he felt an existential crisis welling up from his soul. Before he could freak out the Goddess snapped and he shook his head and looked down at his report.

“Are you trying to fucking die? Don’t stare at me like that.” Death said her voice, having the smallest shred of concern. “That isn’t a threat by the way. Looking at me too long will kill you and I would rather not have to explain that to Judgment… again.”

“Sorry Goddess Death.” Lee said.

“Just call me Death.” She said as she reached under her desk and pulled out a bottle of some black fluid and a cup. “What do you have to report, Lee. I was in the middle of something here.”

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Lee looked around the room and half of it was destroyed. Her laptop smashed and hung halfway out of the wall. Her file cabinet was on its side and most of its contents covered the ground. A plant was somehow hanging on the ceiling fan that itself looked like it would fall any sec… crash. Just as he thought it the fan fell in the middle of the room only barely missing him. Death opened the bottle and the smell of alcohol filled the space as she poured a glass for herself.

“Any day now, Lee.” Death said right before she emptied her glass and poured herself another.

“Uh, right. I was here because I received a report that several psychopomps were attacked and had the souls they were guiding stolen.” Lee said, he then winced as if expecting to be smited right then and there when it didn't happen he continued. “We believe the force to be responsible is divine in nature, another God or chosen maybe.”

“And where is Juiel?” Death asked. “Why isn’t he delivering the news?”

“He was one of the ones attacked, ma’am. He is recovering as we speak.” Lee responded. “It is believed that a thousand souls were stolen.”

“That fucking piece of shit.” Death said as she summoned a second glass cup just so she could throw it against the wall. “Those souls were mine.”

Lee ducked just in case another glass was coming. “M-ma’am? Do you know who did this?”

Death stood up and walked slowly around the desk causing Lee to look down at his feet in fear that looking at her would kill him. She turned up the bottle of black liquid, drinking the content in one long chug before throwing it as well. She pulled down her hood revealing her face, her bone white skin and seven jewel-like eyes. A crown of black-light stars circled her head in a halo and the room grew darker and colder with each passing second.

“Reincarnation took them. That fucking bastard.” Death said with spite.

“Your brother? Why?” Lee asked.

“Do I look like I know?” She screamed then took a deep calming breath and pinched the bridge of her nose. “He has been really into creating heroes from otherworlds recently. Reincarnators, transmigrators, regressors, system users and the like. It is fine when it happens naturally but now he is playing his little prank in my domain.”

“What do you think we should do?” Lee asked. “I can take this to Judgment.”

Death cringed at the idea. “Judgment is not going to do anything without proof and I will need the souls back for that.” Death taps her fingers on her desk. “The bastard will just feel empowered to do it again if we don’t catch him properly.”

“Well, why not just get the souls back?” Lee questioned as he shrunk in his seat as much as possible.

Death stopped tapping and stood up again flipping back up her hood and the room returned to normal. 

“Yes-yes, Lee you are right.” Death summoned another bottle of alcohol. “I will send the hell hounds to collect the souls before they cause too much trouble in the mortal planes. Then I will have the evidence I need to fuck Reincarnation over.”

“The Hellhounds, aren't they supposed to be guarding the underworld?” Lee asked.

“Oh, you are still here.” Death said as she sat back down in her chair. “Leave. There are a trillion more souls out there I need guided and processed. So, congratulations… whatever your name is, you are promoted to provisional head of the Psychopomp Division while Juiel is sick or whatever. You are a valued member of the team and blah-blah. I hope that you continue your duties with the same determination you have shown thus far. Okay-okay, get out.”