Chapter 9.A

Jimmy left the small manager’s office as soon as the tape ended. He wrapped around the counter and grabbed his case of over-priced Zippos and headed for the door.

“HEY!” shouts the old store owner.

“What?”

“You said you were going to leave five-hundred dollars on the counter.”

“Oh yeah. Well I’m actually an officer of the law and I’m not paying you to view subpoenaed evidence in an ongoing investigation. I will however not report you as a way to honor the spirit of our bargain.”

Jimmy didn’t wait for another response he just burst out of the store.

“Get Dractus over here, he should see this too.” Cerulean nods and taps a button on her tablet. Dractus comes sprinting around the corner. Jimmy gives her the phone and shows her the play button.

“Yep that’s our Demon,” she says as Bertha comes into the frame. They watch the rest of the video until the point where Bertha eats the store clerk.

“Ouu, you can’t put medi-foam on that,” said Dractus. Cerulean rolls her eyes at his comment.

“I caught her scent, I know her general heading,” said Dractus.

“I have her on a few more traffic cams before she disappears. Look at this map Dractus what do you think?” says Cerulean as she hands the tablet to him.

“This area here,” he says as he drags his sharp lizard fingernail in a circle around some warehouses.

“Looks like we have our next stop.”

They all hop back in the truck, but Chad looks really confused. “I thought this was a special appearance. Where are all the people?” he asks.

“Oh it was just one person, special request. They paid in advance so I didn’t ask questions,” said Jimmy.

Chad just shrugs his shoulders “Where to next?” Jimmy gives him the cross streets nearest the center of the circle of warehouses that Dractus pointed out on the map. Chad’s music mix is an eclectic combination of classic rock and dubstep, and it’s not helping Jimmy’s mood after seeing the video of the giant creature eating a store clerk. In short order they are in the warehouse district. They all hop out and Dractus sniffs the air.

“We don’t need him anymore, we are here,” said Dractus.

Jimmy turns around and gives Chad the extra hundred dollar bill he promised. “That’s all for the day, thanks for the ride.”

“No, thank you bro! Call me anytime it was a pleasure!” says Chad before taking off.

“I’m setting an auto-pilot timer for 5 minutes for the ship to head this way. I don’t want it to come too soon and spook Bertha,” said Cerulean.

Dractus lifts his battleaxe off of his back and sniffs the air again and then points at a warehouse down the street “That one,” he says. Jimmy lifts a Glock 17 out of a concealed holster he has and ensures he has a round in the chamber. He wonders again if he knows what he is getting himself into. They all start walking in the direction of the indicated warehouse.

“So why do you call them demons? I mean they are just different types of aliens just like you guys right? Why not call them criminals?” asks Jimmy.

“We have criminals as well. Demons are a different breed entirely. They normally start out as criminals. Generally speaking they are really evil people. Then they are augmented in some way, they become stronger and their evil grows. We call them demons because it’s the best word to describe them,” says Cerulean.

“But you don’t really believe they come from hell do you?” asks Jimmy.

“No we don’t, but I do believe whatever chose them to become demons came from hell,” says Cerulean before burying her face back into her tablet.

Some of the other warehouses in the area have noises coming from them of men at work and machines whirring. They have cars in the lot or on the street near them. This one Dractus has led them to doesn’t. And even Jimmy can feel the foreboding aura coming from it. Something bad happened here. Dractus stomps up the front lawn of the warehouse almost like he isn’t aware of the sidewalk. Jimmy can hear Catholic nuns yelling in his memories every time he thinks about ditching the sidewalk so he sticks to the path. When they get to the door Jimmy figures they are going to convene and make a plan of action but Dractus just gently shoulders the front door which flys inwards as if a truck just hit it. Which technically with the size and power of Dractus it might as well have just been hit by a truck. Cerulean follows him inside and draws a small sliver of silver from her waist. Jimmy doesn’t get to see what it is before she heads in.

Jimmy quickly follows them in. The inside of the warehouse is unlit, the only light they have is coming in from the doorway they came through. Cerulean activates some kind of flashlight app on her tablet which is surprisingly bright but still doesn’t work that well in a large warehouse. Jimmy realizes he is still holding the case full of Zippos so he sets it down in an out of the way spot. Then he draws his sidearm and starts scanning the areas he can see, the corners nearest him and even the ceiling beams. He knows underestimating a giant gorilla-octopus alien that eats people is probably a bad idea.

“It’s too dark in here. COME OUT COWARD, FACE ME!” shouts Dractus.

“Subtle,” says Cerulean.

Jimmy starts scanning the walls, he recognizes the layout of this place. His uncles and fathers had worked in places like this his whole childhood and he remembers the many times he visited. He sees what he is looking for: the breaker box. He pops the lids and flips all the breakers and some of the lights start coming on. The lights are starting in sequence at the end of the warehouse and turning on in rows heading their direction. A few seconds before the lights hit their side of the warehouse the trio hears a most terrible sound. It’s like a car horn mixed with a high pitched version of a lion’s roar. At first it’s just one set, but then more sounds just like it start up.

Before anyone can respond a squirming pile of black fury lands on Dractus at top speed and knocks him over. Jimmy aims his weapon intent on shooting it and Cerulean flips out the piece of silver in her hand which folds out rapidly into a full length katana. Before Jimmy can get a clean shot on the creature attacking Dractus something lands on him as well, hard. Something tries the same with Cerulean but she simply flicks her katana before the thing hits her and sunders it in half. Jimmy is on the floor wrestling with whatever is attacking him when the lights pop on in their area. Oh God it’s a nightmare from hell. It’s a miniature version of Bertha. Jimmy can see now its tentacles are wrapping around his back and pinning one of his arms down. He tries to punch it and the thing screeches in his face while leaking spittle all over him.

It uses another one of its tentacles and holds his other arm down and then it slowly lowers its face closer to Jimmy’s. Its eyes are blood red and angry with vertical pupils. Everything about this thing is wrong. Jimmy is fighting as hard as he can to push it off of himself but its arms and tentacles have the resistance of steel bars. The thing continues to lower its face and then it bites Jimmy’s neck. Jimmy’s blood starts pumping down the things throat and it lets out a groan of pleasure. Then Cerulean is there. She swipes her katana once in a flash, too fast for Jimmy to accurately track its path except for a vague silver blur. The thing leans back off of Jimmy and its grip eases. It turns to see what new threat is near, but that’s when the top half of its head falls off. Cerulean’s cut had been so clean it took a second for gravity to catch up.

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Jimmy throws the thing off of him and grabs his firearm which is laying on the floor nearby before quickly hopping to his feet. He aims it everywhere and nowhere, he realizes he is in shock. His blood is soaking his shirt around his neck wound. Dractus saunters over covered in bites all over his face and exposed neck. His fancy armor has protected his body.

“Wow those suckers hurt. Jimmy why didn’t you just rip it in half? That’s what I did with mine,” says Dractus. Jimmy can’t focus on Dractus’s poorly timed humor though, he is still scanning for more threats. Cerulean walks over and gently puts her hand on his firearm and pushes downwards very slowly.

“It’s over Jimmy, we’re safe. There is no more. Look at me. It is safe,” says Cerulean.

Something about her demeanor does calm Jimmy down. “Thanks,” he says with a nod. Cerulean grabs his neck gently and inspects his wound.

“You are going to need antivenom for that,” she says and begins digging in her belt. She pulls out a small syringe and gently takes Jimmy’s wrist in her hands. Then she turns his hand over gently again and pushes his windbreaker up to his elbow and injects it into his forearm. Her calm and slow demeanor and just the general way she is taking this situation in stride is really helping Jimmy calm down further.

“Okay, you are good to go Jimmy. Your neck wound is superficial and I neutralized the venom. Though there will be mild side effects,” says Cerulean.

“Side effects!?” says Jimmy who is feeling his heart rate increase again.

“Yes, nothing major. Just numb-tongue and shrinking penis,” says Cerulean matter-of-factly as she slides the empty syringe back into her belt.

“Shrinking what!?!” Jimmy exclaims.

“Don’t worry Jimmy,” says Dractus. “I can help with that, there is an easy cure for shrinking penis.”

“WELL WHAT IS IT?” Jimmy shouts.

“The saliva of my people cures most common maladies. You are going to have to kiss me,” says Dractus in a most serious manner.

Jimmy is staring at Cerulean and Dractus waiting for any other solution to present itself. How did it come to this?

“Hurry Jimmy time is short!” says Dractus who then flicks his thin lizard tongue through the air a few times to emphasize his point. Jimmy’s face is a mask of pure horror. That’s when Cerulean giggles, she tries to stifle it by covering her mouth but she can’t help it. Then Dractus starts laughing too.

“Oh you motherfuckers!” shouts Jimmy.

“You should have seen your face!” says Cerulean.

“Was I ever even poisoned?!” asks Jimmy.

“Yes, big time. Those things are highly toxic. No worries though the shot really did cure you. No side effects. It also had a multipurpose immunity booster for bipedal mammals from an oxygen based planet and a mild pain reliever. The kissing Dractus thing is a joke we play on people. We did it to Hank too.”

“Assholes,” Jimmy mutters as he walks slightly away from them rubbing his neck.

“Whoa jackpot, look over here,” says Cerulean who has walked around a corner of the warehouse. Jimmy and Dractus follow, when they crest the corner they see something truly disgusting.

“What. The. Fuck.” said Jimmy.

“Ah Bertha’s nesting grounds. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen this. I got close to her once on RS-22,” said Dractus. Jimmy pulls his shirt up over his nose to mask some of the scent. He is standing in a miniature forest of something… The ground looks like extremely expired spinach stacked 4 inches deep. Spaced among the black and green shit on the ground are lumpy things that look like giant deflated eggs. There are thick organic hoses running from egg to egg that seemingly dip into the base layer of slimy nastiness at random. Spread among the whole mess are human bones of all shapes and sizes covered in the slime of the nest.

“What’s your count?” asks Dractus.

“Forty-Eight,” says Cerulean.

Jimmy does a quick count of the egg like structures and sees there are roughly around 48 of them. “Wait, you mean there are forty-eight of those monsters out there?” he asks.

“No, only forty-five, we killed the three they left behind.”

“So what now?” asks Jimmy.

“I can’t track them anymore. If Cerulean doesn’t have any more leads we are done until she resurfaces,” said Dractus.

“I’m also out of leads. No more hits on the traffic cams,” she says as she double checks her tablet. “I’ve got something else weird though. Someone attacked a school for blind children nearby here. They drove an automobile through a crowd of them as they were getting out of school and killed over a dozen just earlier today. This is too much of a coincidence for it to be so close to Bertha’s nesting ground. She might have corrupted someone,” said Cerulean.

“What does that mean?” asks Jimmy.”

“Hard to say with what little evidence I have. It may be something simple like she is controlling him somehow or it could be something more sinister. Worst case scenario she is grooming someone to become a demon,” Cerulean says calmly.

“Does none of this bother you?” asks Jimmy who is upset at how calm they both are.

“It all bothers me, but this is my job and I’ve been doing it for a long time,” said Cerulean.

“Really, you look about twenty-two years old. I mean it’s hard to tell since you are blue, and the horns and all, but you look young,” said Jimmy.

“I just turned one-hundred last week, and my planet’s years are longer than yours. Longevity is another perk of being an Arbiter.”

“Damn, you guys are kind of making my FBI benefits look like shit,” says Jimmy.

“I’m hungry, let’s secure rare and exotic local food,” says Dractus.

“Cheeseburgers and fries it is!” shouts Jimmy.

As they leave the warehouse jimmy looks up the closest fast food joint from their location, but not before grabbing the case of Zippos. One of the Zippos in the case is lucky, Jimmy can tell.

“Got a restaurant about 5 minutes that way at walking speed,” says Jimmy as he points down the road.

“Good the ship is in an empty lot in that direction as well in camouflage mode,” says Cerulean. From that point on it’s a pretty somber walk that Jimmy uses to mentally rewinds his insane day. He looks over at his co-conspirators who are casually walking down the side of the road with him. A giant lizard man in silver space armor carrying a battleaxe, and a beautiful blue woman with horns who is also wearing silver space armor. What a day. Despite having just been attacked and bitten by a venomous space monkey Jimmy realizes he is actually having a great day. He hasn’t had this much fun in ages.

“Hey Cerulean, Dractus, thanks for bringing me,” says Jimmy

“He has that look in his eyes, he has heard the call,” said Dractus.

“The what?” asks Jimmy. Dractus walks over and stops Jimmy, and then puts one of his enormous hands on one of Jimmy’s skinny shoulders.

“The call to hunt. The greatest calling.”

“Dractus I’ve been in law enforcement for 16 years.”

“It’s not the same as hunting demons. It’s not as visceral, as real. Once you hunt a demon everything else just feels like black and white. Not to say your profession isn’t honorable because it is and I respect what you do. There are those of us out there that need more. We need to raise the stakes because if we don’t the good guys lose. It’s also a lot of fun. Less bullshit as well, I was in law enforcement as well before I was an Arbiter. I remember the mountains of paperwork and bureaucratic nonsense. I have to assume it’s the same way here?”

“It is.”

“You won't find any of that when hunting demons. Try writing a form about how you had to shoot missiles into a residential area to stop a multidimensional brain-sucking cephalopod. There is no box to check for that one. There are just some things that can’t be quantified, justified, or judged from an office chair. Hunting Demons falls into that category 99 out of 100 times. I could tell back there, even though you let that demon get the jump on you, I could see the fire in your eyes. You wanted its blood. You wanted to fight and to show your worth. That’s why you are fired up now. Let me guess you are normally the big bad and you aren’t used to being a victim or being on the defense?”

“That’s more than correct. If people here think I am angry they generally piss their pants.”

“It will never be like that with demons. They will always be ready to suck your soul out and eat your eyeballs for dessert. For some people that means running and finding a hole to hunker down in until the trouble is over. There is a rarer breed of person who runs towards demons though, because they know it’s in their blood to scare those who would scare others. You are one of those people Jimmy.”

“Well thanks for the compliment, and I would be happy to help you two catch this Bertha thing.”

“What about after that?”

“What about it? You are going to fly off and the earth will be demon-free.”

“So come with us, keep hunting demons.”

“I’m not an Arbiter, Hank told me you have to be chosen by some kind of ancient aliens or maybe even God.”

“Lots of people work for the Arbiter Core who were never chosen. Sure, we got lots of Arbiters who are lone ranger types who like to ignore all the politics and the Arbiter home planet and just stay in their own neighborhood killing problems as they pop up all by themselves. We also have just as many on the opposite side of the spectrum though. Those that like to work as a team and they always need good people. If you come with us I can guarantee you a spot on a demon hunting team. I’ll vouch for you, I know your mettle.”

“Give me some time to think about it?”

“Of course, but I already know your answer.” Dractus winks as they continue to walk towards the restaurant.