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Kill the Harem
A Bomb is a Valid Prank

A Bomb is a Valid Prank

Loraine stared at me.

"You want me to forgive you? You haven't even apologized."

"I haven't."

I had no intention to, either. I didn't regret hurting her. My only source of regret was that she was angry at me, and if she stopped being angry at me because I apologized, I would regret nothing at all.

Perhaps I could've lied to her and tried to convince her that I deeply felt terrible, but for whatever reason, I didn't want to. Maybe it was respect. Maybe it was because I liked having a friend who understood me. Maybe it was because she wasn't stupid and would likely figure it out eventually, and then our relationship would be ruined beyond repair. Probably a combination of all three.

"Shouldn't you?"

"It wouldn't be sincere. I lack the ability. But I've hurt you and want to make up for it; I value your friendship. What can I do to make it better?"

Sure, the last part was following a standard 'how to apologize' script, but so what? I meant it.

Loraine looked like she was having some sort of headache now as well.

"I don't know," she said, "I don't know if I can forgive you and I don't know if there's anything you can do. I need some time to think about it."

She left, still seeming quite upset.

I hoped she'd decide to move past this. I'd never had anything resembling a grandparent before, but spending time with her felt how I'd imagine it would feel to go fishing with an old man who knows everything there is to know about the lake system.

It was pleasant and peaceful. As much as was possible in this place, it made me feel at ease.

If she wasn't willing, I'd just have to leave it at that. I've been called a monster but I try not to be one.

The guard who called me scum earlier showed me to the room where I'd be staying. Apparently, her name was Aria and she would be my personal guard from now on, both to protect and monitor me. For some reason, she was sniggering as she gestured for me to open the door.

After I went in, I could see why. Someone had "redecorated" the place by scrawling impolite and crude messages all over the walls, and trashed the furniture.

Some example messages were "Die, you human scum!" or, more creatively, stuff like "May your tongue become a heap of writhing worms!" At least they put some passion into it.

I couldn't recall having been harassed in such an immature manner before; I guess there's a first time for everything.

I turned around immediately and walked out.

"Where are you going? Is something wrong?" The guard asked, still sneering.

"It seems there was a mistake with the room allocation. I'm going to request a new one."

"There wasn't a mistake; this one is yours. I don't see any issue with it, and we don't have the time to keep assigning new rooms due to trivial requests, so just stay here."

I ignored her and continued walking. I didn't have such abundant free time that I wanted to spend it constantly cleaning up and repairing broken furniture.

The elf in charge of the residences apologized and gave me a new key. He might well have been in on it as well, but he couldn't outwardly admit it because convenient and livable residences had been part of the conditions their monarch agreed to. It was one thing for an anonymous group to vandalize it, but it would be another thing entirely if the person officially designated by the government openly insisted on giving me a room in such poor condition.

As soon as I got to the new room, I warded it thoroughly.

The guard was waiting outside.

"You should probably tell your friends not to touch my stuff if they want to keep their arms," I helpfully informed her.

She looked a bit disturbed and said she had no idea what I was talking about. Then, she took me to the central location where spacial magic was studied. Apparently, she was familiar with the place, as she was a student there. I had an afternoon appointment with one of the senior mages, Algried.

You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

The magic facility was built into the root system of a giant tree. The actual labs were deep underground, lined with different layers of certain mineral-rich stones to reduce interference from ambient mana. The middle layer of this sort of insulation would be made from a material similar to the alloys used in mana restriction stakes. The air was incredibly still.

I examined the walls with interest as we went forward. There were many rooms, but most of them were closed. Near the upper section, there were many elves in the hallways, going into rooms, carrying various supplies. As we descended, the number of people walking around drastically decreased. The most labs for the more dangerous and delicate work were on the bottom floors and spread further apart. This was apparently where the mage I was supposed to meet was working.

It was when the guard lead me through a hallway and into a long tunnel that I first felt something was wrong. We were supposed to be meeting the mage in their office, but the entrance was cut into the side of the tunnel and the walls were significantly more heavily reinforced than in other places.

The floor was covered in foul-smelling liquid, around a foot deep. It didn't seem like sewage; more like rotting plant matter left in stagnant water.

Apparently, this was her idea of how to harass humans. To make matters worse, the door that we came through appeared to have been locked from the inside. Breaking out would cause more trouble than it was worth.

"Why are we here?" I asked.

"It's a shortcut," she snapped.

Then, without hesitating, she jumped into the filthy water and started walking down the tunnel. Well, she was the one who'd get in trouble if I was late, so it was probably approximately the right direction. I waterproofed my clothing and followed her, taking care to notice where she stepped.

We had progressed a considerable distance when I felt a faint fluctuation in the already nearly non-existent atmospheric mana.

Immediately, I tackled the guard into the nearest maintenance hallway—several dozen feet away—while simultaneously casting shielding magic across the entrance.

I landed on top of her and could tell that she was surprised and furious. She opened her mouth, but before she could curse me out, a massive explosion ripped through the air behind us. The vast majority of the shockwave blew past us, but even so, some debris broke through the shield and cut into my back.

If not for the fact that I always magically reinforce my body, I would be dead. As would the guard, as the debris would've torn right through me and into her.

I guess I could've let her die, but she probably hadn't been trying to get us killed. I knew she hated me, however it didn't seem to be to a suicidally irrational extent. Besides, she could have some useful information.

The guard looked stunned. I got off her and stood up.

"Y-You protected me?" She asked, finally not sounding confident.

"Yeah, and I think that was fairly generous of me, considering you brought me here on purpose. Now care to explain why you walked us into an active blast tunnel?"

"It-It wasn't supposed to be active! I checked and there weren't any experiments scheduled for today, and even if there were, there hasn't been an accident in years! I have no idea what's going on! We were just trying to prank you a bit, I swear." She burst into tears.

"Who is 'we'?"

"Just a small group of my friends. We thought it'd be funny to make the arrogant human walk through putrid water, that's all! And this tunnel really is a shortcut! I wasn't lying!"

"Yeah? Do you know who first suggested the idea?"

She couldn't remember, but I got her to tell me about everyone in the group while I staunched the blood.

Initially, she was a bit reluctant to rat out her friends, but given her extremely shaken emotional state, it wasn't that hard to get it out of her.

As a silver lining, probably nobody would care now if I broke another of the maintenance doors, so I did that and we left the tunnel area. Then, we headed over to meet Algried.

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Aria didn't know how the human could be so calm.

She could still feel the scorching heat of the explosion, hear the roaring blast that nearly deafened her. The aftertaste of terror lingered in her mouth.

She had never come so close to dying. When she had realized what was happening, she had instinctively closed her eyes in fear, but when she opened them, she had found that she was barely injured.

The human mage had protected her with his own body.

He was dripping blood, but he barely seemed bothered by it. As the shock faded, she found that she was staring at his face. She'd never properly looked at him, thinking of him only as a filthy human, but now that she was paying attention, she saw that he was physically perfect. His brilliant eyes were unclouded by fear and looking at them somehow made her feel a bit reassured.

Elves were known for their beauty; they almost uniformly had very even features. But even compared to elves, the human was a stunner. Suddenly, Aria became conscious of the fact that their bodies were tightly pressed together. Her ample bosom was squished against his well-muscled chest.

She felt her face beginning to turn red, but like he didn't notice or care at all, the human ignored it and smoothly stood up. A small part of Aria felt a bit disappointed, for some reason she refused to think about.

He asked many questions and she ended up answering them all. She was scared. Whatever caused that explosion was willing to kill her, too. She didn't want to rely on a filthy human, but she didn't know what else to do.

At the very least, he seemed competent and in control.

In a sort of daze, she robotically lead him towards Mage Algried's office. On the way, she ran into a familiar face.

It was a small, cute girl with thick glasses. Her name was Tisaina, and she was Algried's disciple.

When Tisaina saw them, panic briefly flashed across her face.

"Aria, what happened? You guys are covered in blood!" she squeaked in a high-pitched voice.

Then, she rushed over to the human.

"Oh no, you're really injured. Just stay right there. I'll try to bandage you while we wait for help. Aria, you should go get the healers!"