Inside a barricaded bunker on the southern coast of Italy. An olive flavored man and his group of diverse henchpeople surrounded a crate. The olive man pried open the crate with a crowbar, smirking with hellish intent. 

“Satisfied?” A dark skinned woman, leaning against the wall in the shadows of the bunker asked.

“It’s the second most beautiful thing I’ver ever seen.” The olive man said.

“Oh? And what is the first?” The dark skinned woman asked.

“Lizzo.” he whispered as a tear rolled down his cheek.

The other henchpeople present nodded in agreement. He closed the crate, placing both of his hands on it, he sighed.

“What now Ajeebrari?” The dark skinned woman asked.

“Nothing…it’s just…the weight of what we’re doing. It’s heavy.” Ajeebrari said.

“Oh? Not nearly as heavy as the weight of oppression that will be lifted from us all.” The dark skinned woman said. “Enough explosives to annihilate the million women march in the United States…once those underemployed women are gone, the whole country will come to a complete stand-still. And we shall be free or something like that.”

The terrori—freedom fighters, shed a tear to the realization of their plan. 

“Tis not a small price that must be paid to stop the most tyrannical nation on Earth…no…in the universe.” Ajeebrari said. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Are you sure you weren’t followed? Are you sure this location is secure?”

“How dare you question me?” The dark skinned woman said. Ajeebrari apologized and made a donation to an NGO for DEI in Pakistan for penance. Several minutes later, due to the bad wifi, she continued. “My actions are completely untraceable, and this bunker is impenetrable by any human being.” She smirked, and at that moment a loud noise was heard in the shadows. 

The diverse henchpeople scanned the room.

“Search the premises, it appears we have a visitor.” Ajeebrari said. The diverse henchpeople stood still with a single hand upon their hip, staring at Ajeebrari. “Please.” They smirked, then spread out through the bunker.

“I feel like this is your fault…” The dark skinned woman said.

“I believe you, Kweenisha.” Ajeebrari said.

A scream came from the shadows, followed by everyone screaming in a high pitched tone for several minutes. Once the therapeutic screaming concluded, Ajeebrari went to see the cause for the necessary outburst. He found one of his diverse henchpeople on the ground in a pool of their own blood, their throat having been ripped out. 

“McGruber?” Kweenisha asked.

“No.” Ajeebrari replied. “No man could do this.”

Another scream was squelched in silence behind them. 

“It’s her then…” Kweenisha said with her mouth quivering. “It’s the bitch!” she shouted.

More screaming ensued, as they fired into the shadows. Running through the shelved corridors searching for their foe. One by one the collective sound of their righteous screams dimmed. Only Kweenisha and Ajeebrari remained. They stared at each other with fierce bravery.

“What do we do?” Ajeebrari asked with panic in his voice.

Kweenisha pulled out her phone, frantically typing into it. “The damn wifi is so slow! I can’t tweet this out!” she said.

“Dammit!” 

A low growl came from behind them. 

“So…it is you.” Ajeebrari said. “Never thought I’d be in the same room as you. It is an honor, Kiki.”

“Woof!” Kiki said.

“That’s rich, coming from you, the greatest spy America has.” Kweenisha said.

“Woof!” 

Kweenisha and Ajeebrari grimaced, they armed themselves with knives that they held palm down up to their face, like that cool military style.

The border collie, Kiki, jumped down in front of them. Her immaculate coat shined even in the poorly lit bunker. On her head a camouflage helmet with a visor was strapped. She growled as they circled around each other. Her enemies growled back at her. Suddenly, Ajeebrari leapt forward while thrusting his knife. Kiki jumped onto his chest and pushed off it, performing a backflip and landing in front of him. His knife was now in her mouth, with the blade facing out the right side. He looked into his now empty hand and balled it into a fist. 

The author's content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

Kiki charged in, ducking under his punch, and sliced across the lower part of his stomach. The disemboweled man fell to the ground, trying to hold the wound closed to no avail. His entrails spilled out onto the floor as he cried out. Kiki shook her head violently, releasing the knife towards Kweenisha, who parried the attack with her own blade.

“We already met once in Fallujah, I’m the one who trimmed your tail…” Kweenisha said.

Kiki, glanced at her tail that was missing two inches. She turned back to Kweenisha and growled. “Woof!”

“How dare you!” Kweenisha screamed and charged after. As Kweenisha swung her blade, Kiki rolled side to side to dodge the attacks. Frustration apparent on her face. Kweenisha swung her foot straight into the air, connecting with Kiki’s stomach, which caused her to get flown back into a shelf. She whimpered for a split second, before shaking it off. She looked at Kweenisha, and cracked her neck. 

“Woof!”

“Funny, I thought you Americans were all about guns…yet here you are…defenseless.” Kweenisha poised to strike.”

“Woof.” Kiki said softly.

Kweenisha charged in once more, going for the same kick. Kiki dodged the kick and closed her jaws around Kweenisha’s left ass cheek, tearing a chunk out of it. She spit it out onto the floor as Kweenisha cried out in pain.

“You fucking bitch!” she said as she covered the wound.

“Woof!” Kiki smirked. She lifted her leg and pissed onto the discarded ass tissue.

“Real cute. I’ll make you pay for that…with your life!” 

Kiki nodded her head and a visor dropped over her eyes. Red lights filled the darkened ceilings of the bunker as Kweenisha stopped and stared.

“Woof.”

“Bad dog! Bad bitch!” Kweenisha screamed. The red lights were overtaken by muzzle flashes as the machine guns mounted on the drones shot hundreds of rounds of ammunition through Kweenisha. Kiki never took her sight off the target until each bullet was fired. 

She nodded her head and the visor disappeared into her helmet. Kiki sat down and licked the blood off her body. A large noise echoed behind her as an armored truck crashed through the wall. Several military people were shouting orders as they dispersed through the room. The second in command of the operation approached Kiki. 

“Were we too late again?” The second in command said.

“Woof.”

“Ugh, powerful.” 

Kiki pointed her paw towards the crate of explosives. The second in command ran over and picked up a block of C5 explosives. 

“So our intelligence was correct, they were gonna destroy the entire country’s economy after all. Damn good work, Kiki.”

“Woof.”

The second in command laughed. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you get that vacation you’re after. Can’t promise these white terrorists are gonna take a vacation though…so please, keep your phone on for your country, would ya?”

“Woof.”

“If only I had ten more agents like you, Kiki.”

“This way if you please, mam.” A soldier approached Kiki, extended his hand outside the bunker. Kiki nodded and walked outside only to be escorted to a limousine. She growled and barked at the car. “Mam?”

“God damn it, soldier!” The second in command said. “I told you she only flies, no cars!” 

“Uh…uh…Sorry! Forgive me Kiki! We have a chopper on the outer perimeter!”

Kiki looked back at the second in command and shook her head. She blew air through her nose and walked towards the chopper.

“There goes the baddest bitch we got…so powerful…ugh” A single tear fell from the second in command’s eye before they returned to the bunker to carry out the retrieval mission.

Kiki jumped into the chopper and sat on the floor. The crew attempted to strap her in, but she growled at them and they backed off.

“Sorry, we almost forgot, Kiki. Do you want to pilot this puppy?” The crewperson asked.

Kiki smirked. “Woof.” she shook her head, staring out over the horizon as they lifted into the air.

“Where to?”

“Woof!”

The crewperson laughed. “Of course, Kiki. Just try to take it easy on those pitbulls okay? We had to create a department just to sort through your fanmail after your last vacation in London.”

Kiki shook her head as she laid down to a well deserved rest. She knew she couldn’t escape the need for sleep. But it pained her to dream. She knew it would be the same dream, the same nightmare she had been having for years. She took a deep breath and braved it. Only to be halted by a missile colliding with the chopper. Alarms and panic spread through the genitalpit. The chopper spun wildly wildly in the air. Kiki swung her paw around a canvas strap and steadied herself.

“I can’t stop it! We’re going down! Prepare for contact!”

Kiki grimaced and growled. “Woof.”

“Really, he’s behind this? How do you know?”

“Woof.”

“Oh my god…it all makes sense now. Kiki…tell my partner I love them. Tell them they are so powerful, ugh. Tell them, I failed while trying my damndest.”

Kiki put her paw in his hand. “Woof.”

A person stared through binoculars at the chopper as it went down, passing over a hilltop. An explosion bellowed into the air over the hills. “She’s down.” The person said.

“Bark.” A white shiba with a confederate flag eye patch over his left eye said.

“There’s no way she survived that…No one’s that powerful…ugh.”

“Bark.” the white shiba said, much deeper in tone.

“Ugh, alright we’ll send out the troops to get the body. But sir…”

The white shiba looked at him through the corner of his eye.

“If she is alive…we’re sending our diverse group of freedom fighters to their deaths…”

“Bark.”

“Oh shit.”