Bang. Bang. Bang.
“Shshshshss! Shshshshss!”. My mother’s voice echoed through my door, muffled by the old mattress braced against it. “There are FBI agents at the door asking for you! I expect this from your brother, but not from you!”.
―
Once, the gods had many names.
Once, the gods had might and dominion.
Once.
―
I looked up from my desk, where I had been reviewing my notes, and turned my chair rightward towards the door. “Seriously!? Wait until I tell Audrey, he’s going to be so jealous!”. I chuckled throatily, “I’ll be up in a second, let me throw a shirt on!”. On this warm and humid summer evening, I had foregone clothing in favor of a lightweight blue robe, a treasured gift from my parents. Stiff dark lines swirled on its surface, tracing out patterns that drew the eye ever-inward.
――
The Christians killed their god.
Although they did not, do not know it.
Pagan gods had many names, had Dominions over only portions.
They shared those dominions, within and without pantheons.
To reign over all things alone…
There is a reason that the Jewish god had so very many names.
The Christian God had but three.
――
It was fortunate that I had anticipated such a visit, and had rehearsed my lies accordingly. “So, it has come to this.” My voice sounded strange in my ears, as if it came from long ago and far away. I rubbed my suddenly sweaty hands together, then on a tissue plucked from the geometrically patterned box to my left, nose wrinkling in disgust. “On the bright side, these stupid sweaty palms will soon… cease to plague me”.
―――
When a god dies, and is not consumed or reborn…
A hole is torn into the Primordial Nothingness.
Like a bathtub drain suddenly freed of a clog, all the gods of humanity…
Were unmade, sinking into the undepths like a stone.
―――
My desk chair squeaked as pushed it back, groaned as I pushed my body upright. The light contracted around me as the room tilted. I collapsed against my desk, panting, as I rode out the storm. A roaring filled my ears. It had taken more blood than would have been wise, had I not foreseen the constraints humanity would place upon me, but my great work, this last work this failing body would accomplish, was complete.
――――
Wizards, magicians, priests…
They too, were empowered by the names by which they were known.
Like the gods, they were names freely given or earned.
Merlin, last of the wizards, held four names – and then only just.
He cleverly arranged for his names to overlap..
But in the end he too was drawn helplessly into the Abyss.
Moses held eight – the natural order plus its transcendence.
But he lived in an era where the gods walked the Earth.
――――
I straightened, and selected the last clean brush from my case, twirled it in the last puddle of fresh blood staining the faux wood, and completed the final stroke on the cuff of my right-hand sleeve. Turning leftward until I faced the East, and my bed, I gently, lovingly, took my totem into my arms. My totem! The stuffed animals of my toddlerhood, for my beginning. The last remaining fragment of my blankie, recovered at great expense from the capitol’s landfill, for those who loved and protected me. The graduation-owl, wearing cap and gown and diploma, for intellect and wisdom. My Pokemon, who had guarded me from the shadows, taught me to love and forgive… and whose powers would form the basis of my ascension.
―――――
Apotheosis requires magic.
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Magic requires Names.
To anchor a Name against the Abyss requires three things:
Intent
Pattern
Connection
―――――
With love I had picked apart their every seam, with care I had undone every stitch, until their eyes and skins were flayed before me like my own death. From my mother, I had learned to sew, although crocheting, sadly, was beyond me. Remembering those time-tinted days of warmth and despair, I cut and sewed and tucked, until this chimera of my soul was one.
――――――
The Abyss is local.
There is life elsewhere, and their gods might yet live.
We cannot stand against them.
――――――
Turning back to my computer, swaying slightly at the sudden movement, I squinted at the corner for the time. “Eight and thirty seconds. Eleven to go.”
I stepped rightward, away from my computer island, into the center of the room, the blue carpet squelching slightly under my feet from the blood.
As the disk of the sun fell fully below the horizon – although I could not see it through the blackout shades – my computer softly chimed, and I raised my eyes Westward and Named myself.
“In the name of Lavi Zev Ephraim, son of Leah and
To my right: Latios300
To my left: Overmind
Before me: ABZB
Behind me: The Count of Real Numbers
Below me: Professor Erez
Above me: The Almighty La!”
―――――――
Respectively, these are:
Knowledge of what is to be done, and the will and desire to do so.
A set of memes to give shape and meaning to the Name.
Sufficiently many sufficiently unique humans who so Name the copy of the self that is contained within them.
―――――――
I raised my totem towards my ceiling-light as a fire gripped my bones. The room tilted left, then right, then in every direction at once. The scent of blood screamed a painful brightness in my ears as the fabrics of robe and carpet dug mercilessly into my too-fragile skin.
Bang. Bang. Bang.
“Leonard Edward, this is the FBI. We have a warrant to search the premises. Please open the door.” I sighed. Some of the reagents and tools needed to get my blood just right were… less than harmless, and all but useless to any outside of collectors and industrial chemists.
――――――――
The solution is obvious: I must become a god.
――――――――
Seven. Seven Names I had been named, or had chosen and then earned for myself. They defined me, for I had chosen them as they had chosen me. Well, except for the name I had rejected… but that name had never truly been mine to begin with. They were me, more than even I was me. In this modern age, to accumulate names was an easy task. To accumulate more Names merely required a bit more focus and planning. My eighth name… a smile gripped my face.
The years of writing, making friends and foes, delving into the furthest edges of mathematic and chemistry humanity had yet reached… All to create my Name-anchors, all to determine and build the tools, all to construct the perfect language.
I whispered, the wind barely moving in my throat:
“At long last in this fateful hour,”
“I declare my Name with its power,
By the sun with its brightness,
By the snow with its whiteness,”
The door cracked, but the mattress, braced against a cabinet, held firm. My voice had increased in volume with every word, now passing that of normal speech.
By the fire with all the strength it hath!
By the lightning with its rapid wrath!
My voice accelerated, the words leaping from my tongue before they had even been shaped.
By the winds with their swiftness along their path!
By the sea with its deepness!
The door shattered. In its place, I saw not a shadowy figure in body armor but a stout metallic box with numerous arms and tools folded snugly against its carapace, a battering ram extended. Makes sense, a lot of what I bought could be used to make explosives.
By the rocks with their steepness!
An oily light glistened off a barrel, pointed at me like. “Slowly put down whatever you’re holding and put your hands up!”. This is no bomb, you fools.
By the earth with its starkness!
In the background, I hear a panicked voice “He’s going to set it off! Everyone, fall back to the perimeter! We evacuated all of the civilians, right!?”. As if I would kill those who raised me. Even a god does not go against the family.
All these I place!
As a new god's Name to help and grace!
“Sir, Leonard, please, we can talk about this…”
I claim the Light and the powers of Darkness!
I am
Zoharindil Tzeylthúlë
My totem twisted into my body, my body twisted into my soul, and I was reborn. “Agent… Jones was it?” I said as I manifested behind him, my sinuous tail wrapped loosely around my legs, my wings extended proudly. “Speak to me, speak to the Friend of Radiance, speak to the Guarding Shadow…”
I spread my arms “Your new god will hear your prayers”.