The room was silent, it was deafening. My mother sat on her throne, and my father’s was empty. My three sisters and I stood on my mothers side in front of our thrones, while my brothers did the same on fathers side. The room seemed to stretch forever, the walls lined with paintings of my family and I. Adara the youngest, was the most recent painting closest to the door. She was beaming with her bright smile unlike my mother and father. They had the coldest faces in their paintings. This was only because they had to be as still as possible for their photos. With the new magic discovered they finish paintings much quicker. Most of my brothers followed suit of my father with a dead face, meanwhile Adara and I were smiling. Except for today, our faces are grim. Our voices stuck in our throats. We were all wearing black attire that seemed to compliment our black hair and green eyes. The doctor stood in front of us, he cleared his throat, clearly nervous about my mother.

“He is dead.- '' the words croaked out of his throat, stabbing us in our hearts. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Venus, grabbing her chest, tears falling down her face. “-We did the best we could. I apologize, your highness.” He seemed to almost whisper as he finished the sentence. His head bowed, the glint of his eyes were dimmed so much I thought he didn’t have eyes for a split second.

My mothers face seemed to soften at those words. Her eyebrows no longer furrowed together, her eyes relaxed and so did her lips. Tears began to well in her eyes, but she didn’t make a noise. She simply sat there and waved her hand dismissing the doctor. The doctor shuffled his way out of the room, his head still bowed. No one dared to say anything. My mother stood up and dismissed herself out of the room, my siblings followed in pursuit to their rooms to grieve. Except Adara and I.

“How about you go check on everyone?” I say to Adara who nods and skips to her siblings, like nothing had happened. Everything was fine. I seemed to have that mentality too, it was weird. I felt nothing, besides that sharp pain in my heart. My words felt stuck. I couldn’t describe it.

I walked to the kitchen which was empty, the cooks were on break so I decided to bake something for my family.

I lit the fire in our brick oven. I put flour into a loaf pan. I was making my family's favorite dessert, I grabbed a pan and turned on our stove and put the pan on the burner. While making the lavender loaf all I could think of was how Venus was in pain and how I couldn’t feel that pain they felt. Once I put the mixture in a baking pan and in the oven, I started on the glaze gently humming a song mother sang to me as a kid. Finally I put cloth over top and started to clean up.

A cook walked in and bowed, “hello Ms. Iris.”

“Hello. I was wondering if for dinner, you could make steak, mash, and makerouns, served with a side of wine for me and my family.-“ I did a slight chuckle, the cooks face seemed to soften less. It was more concerning than anything. She was probably thinking “her father just died, why is she laughing?” “-Except Adara of course, could you make some apple juice for her?” I ended with a smile.

The cook nodded, “I am sorry for your loss, your highness.” she paused for a mere moment; “Sorry for speaking out of turn, but it is okay to grieve for a bit. That feeling is normal.”

I nodded, basically disregarding everything she said, “once the lavender loaf finishes baking, could you add the glaze on top-“ I point at the bowl with a cloth over top, “-and put a piece of lavender on it?”

The cook's face became firm. Her lips pressed tightly together, “of course, it smells delightful. I bet your family will enjoy it.” The words looked like they left distaste in her mouth, like she was angry.

I smiled and exited the kitchen, not picking up on the frustration.

As I entered the grand room, I stopped and stood for a minute. Staring at my fathers painting, the realization of him being truly gone, hit me. The words the cook said flowed back into my mind. My stomach churned, my eyes welled up, filled up with tears, but these tears weren’t sadness. These tears were anger, anger for letting my father get sick, anger for not spending time with him, and anger for him leaving us. This anger was something I have never felt before, this anger I was scared of. Before I could even realize what I was doing I punched the brick wall, I pulled my arm back, hunched over. Now breathing heavily I stood up and looked at my knuckles. They were bleeding, my anger seeming to disappear. 

“Iris?” A voice muttered out, sounding rather small.

I turned my head slightly seeing Venus staring at me, concern and shock filled her face. Behind her stood my older brother Taylor, he looked calm as usual. I was never a violent person so of course Venus was scared. Taylor took a deep breath and walked over to me, he grabbed my hand and looked at my knuckles, his fluffy black hair hanging over his sage green eyes. He reached into his satchel and pulled out a roll of bandage alongside a cloth and started patting the blood with the cloth. The dark red blood appeared on the cloth. After most of the blood that spilled out was cleaned up, he wrapped my hand. 

“You must control that anger you feel. Anger is a powerful tool which can do great things, good and bad.” He said as he wrapped my hands. 

I took a deep breath, trying to calm the anger that started seeping back into me. I don’t know why, but his words angered me. I just stared at him trying to hide my emotions, but it clearly was showing because Taylors face was now filled with disappointment.

`

“You can’t let my words anger you, I am trying my best to help you.” He then turned and exited the room. Venus then left with him, talking in low voices. I could only hear the few words Venus muttered out.

“She’s letting it get to her.” Taylor simply nodded in reply.

I stared at the two figures slowly disappearing, I clenched my first. My nails dug into my skin, it hurt, it hurt so bad but I didn't care. I couldn’t seem to care, my anger was getting even worse. I wanted to hit something again, no. I wanted to hit Taylor. I wanted to hit him so bad, he fell to the ground. I wanted to hit him so hard so he started bleeding. No matter how much I felt like I wanted to, I couldn’t justify hitting him. I unclenched my hands and took a deep breath, collecting my thoughts. I decided to walk towards my fathers study which was upstairs. 

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As I walked toward the stairwell, I admired the paintings of us. My brothers looked proud of being in the royal family, My sisters looked noble and well kept. Meanwhile, me and Adara looked childish. My painting was done when I was 6, of course I would smile instead of looking dead serious. It wasn’t fair I got in trouble for smiling when my painting was done earlier than the rest of my family. My brothers and sisters had theirs done when they were 10. My mother had hers done when she was 15. I got to Adaras painting, closest to the door and turned to my left. The stairwell looked ominous, it was lit up solely by lanterns. At the same time they gave a cozy look and feel to it. I grabbed the railing with my right hand and with my left I grabbed my dress so I wouldn’t trip on it. 

I finished the first flight of stairs and began the second flight. There were four in total. My heels clicking on the concrete filling my thoughts. It was dead silent in the castle, instead of being lively like usual. The silence made me uncomfortable. 

Once I made it to the top, I let go of my dress and turned to my left making my way down the hall. No one dared to go into my fathers study due to this unknown sickness. I felt like it would answer a lot of questions I had. It was questions that filled my thoughts ever since I was young. I paused in front of the door into the study, hand on the tarnished knob. It was cold to the touch, I stood there awkwardly debating if I should actually go inside the room. Once I came to my conclusion, I opened the door. It looked different than usual, so I entered the room. 

My heels were still making that rhythmical click, as I observed the room I saw there was dust everywhere. There were beautiful spider webs in the corners of the room. The walls were lined with bookshelves, besides the wall behind his desk which had a window with velvety red curtains. As I approached the desk I saw a parchment sprawled out on the desk, with a nice black and gold pen laying right next to it. His swivel chair, which had a velvet red cushion that matched the curtains,  turned to the left as if he just stepped out for a bit.

 I rounded the desk, and sat in the chair. I scooted the chair up to the desk and admired the parchment. It was a map of multiple other countries I haven’t even heard of, some with names and some with question marks.

“Ulta” I whispered softly, I hadn't even realized I had said it out loud.

It was the biggest piece of land that stood out the most, it was where we lived and in the corner of the land was our home. Our castle, our home, and our stores. As I looked closer I could see there were little people moving, my lips parted slightly. As I put my finger onto the people, the map zoomed in. I moved my finger back quickly in surprise, I could see even more people, I put my finger back onto the map and moved it towards the castle. I tapped the castle hoping it zoomed in, in turn it did. I saw myself sitting there, my black hair draping over my face as I stared at the map. I saw a glint of my green eyes peek out from underneath my hair. I instantly froze.

“Why would he have a map like this? Why would he keep this from us?” I muttered out, my voice wavering as I spoke. I lean back in the chair. It lets out a slight creak as I do so. As I let my eyes wander around the desk, I begin tapping my fingers on the arm rest. The same pattern of my heels clicking earlier, my eyes land on a stack of books. Three to be exact, on the bottom is a sage green, dark like moss, in the middle is a powdery blue, dark as the deep sea, and on the top is a red, dark like blood. I grab the red book and lay it in front of me, above the parchment. I noticed there was some dust on top so I patted it off. My hand landed with a thump each time, once most of the dust was off I pulled my hand back, observing it. My hand felt dry now, so I wiped them on my dress. 

Once I put my attention back on the dark red book in front of me, It didn’t seem to have a title so I picked up the book and turned it to its side. As I squinted, a few letters were bold with black ink while some were wavering away, there were no grooves so I couldn’t even touch over it to feel the letters. My body is eager for me to open the book, while my mind is worried. I can’t explain this worry that is overtaking me, but regardless I open the book to the first page. There is no table of contents, there’s nothing explaining what this book is for. It’s just an empty page, so I flip to the next page. Nothing. I flip to the next. Nothing. I keep flipping the page and repeating the same word in my head, nothing, nothing, nothing, NOTHING.  I slam the book shut on the table.

‘This was a waste of time’ I thought to myself. I wanted to close the book, but something told me not too.

I set the book off to the side still in my view. I zoom back out and see even more places than before. I see the sea and even islands, I can’t help but look at it in awe. A light breeze brushes over my shoulders from behind causing me to shudder. I looked behind me and the window was closed with no draft. Plus no draft could cause that breeze I felt. I get up from the chair, my dress swaying back and forth hitting my legs, and approach the window. I look down and see it reveals our whole town, Taja, the roads look lively. Children running around playing tag, mothers chatting as their kids play. Others practice their magic, unaware their king is dead, unknown of his condition. These kids were lucky, they weren’t expected to be perfect. They could do whatever they wanted, whilst I was stuck in this castle. I could never explore like my brothers, due to my fathers orders. After one time I nearly got myself killed by going too close to the forest. As I observed these families, I noticed a person in a hooded cloak that hides most of their body. 

“How peculiar, ” I said.

“What’s peculiar?-“ I quickly turn around and see Taylor standing there, his green eyes feel like blades at this instance. His face looked disappointed in me.“-The fact you are in your father's study?”

“Brother you must see thi-“ he waved his hand.

“I don’t care. It’s time for dinner-“ he turned around exiting the room. He then stopped, “-don’t come in here again. Understand?”

I nodded and he walked out the room. As soon as he left I grabbed the map and three books, the black and gold pen getting swept up into the map. Another book points out to me, ‘Nature’ some ink was off the second word. I could find this in our library, but I grab it regardless. I quickly exit the room, my hair in my face as I do so. I quickened my pace towards my room. When I make it to my room I slam the door open and I put the map and books in my wardrobe underneath some clothes. I then change into a black dress with a red corset over top. I keep the same heels and quickly run downstairs, my dress in hand.

Once I made it to the final flight I began walking, catching my breath. My heels clicking more rhymically now, I rounded the corner and let go of my dress. I make my way to the door right next to the kitchen and enter the room.

Mother is sitting at the head of the table instead of father. Everyone is sitting there talking in hushed voices except mother and Taylor. 

“What took you so long?” my mother spoke up. Taylor stares down at his empty plate, It gleams in the sun.

“My makeup,” I said, taking a seat on the white cushion at  the right side of the table with Adara on my right and Venus on my left, I heard my mother scoffing at my response. 

“And your hand?” She adjusted in her seat, taking her hands out of her lap, and putting them on the table.

“None of your business.” I bit back quite quickly, everyone stared at me in shock. I had never acted like this and I know they are blaming it on fathers death. When actually I just hated being asked so many questions at once. I was glaring at Taylor, still having the slightest bit of urge of wanting to hit him.

“Excuse you, Iris Samora Kestria!-“ she slammed her hands down, in turn I quickly stood up.

“Thank you.” A bite in my voice, still staring at Taylor.

“Screw you bastard.” I muttered at Taylor, resulting in everyone whispering again. I quickly exited the room before someone could say another thing.

As I quickly made my way to my room, I couldn’t tell why I was so mad at Taylor, but it was clearly for a reason. I swung open my door and threw my corset belt to the ground. I grabbed a hooded cloak that draped slightly over my chest, alongside a black bodysuit that for the top had a tank top. I unlaced my dress and threw it to the ground, I quickly put on the bodysuit with heeled boots on. I put a belt on with clasps and connected my satchel. I slipped the map inside the satchel and checked if I had money, which I did. After checking I put on the black cloak and waited for nightfall. 

When the moon shone through my window I made my way downstairs. My boots are making a clicking noise making my way to the door.