“Oho, I see the light.” With this kind of program start I felt a trace of religious irony.

It was a good thing that I didn’t directly land on my butt. There were signs of disorientation. I wasn’t eager to test the pain threshold seconds after arrival. It was mentioned in the manual that it reached a level of about 25 %.

A fall on my behind or my face would come soon enough.

But, first things first. I had the feeling just to gawk at my surrounding, standing around like a tourist with beginning dehydration and just gawk, gawk and enjoy.

That was a game not reality? Someone should probably hit me. Well, it has to be, but I was still flabbergasted.

The sun was shining down on me while I was standing on a small square. It was decorated with different signs and geometric characters which were perfectly visible on the cobblestone.

Houses mainly built from wood but partly of quarry stone that probably served as baseplate were arranged around the square.

I closed my eyes to inhale deeply and listen to the different sounds and noises of this place. A light wind carried different odors to my nose. Awesome!

“Hey, don’t just stand in everyone’s way!”

“Oh sorry, my bad.”

An elderly woman with a basket in her hands was pushing her way through while making a face.

“Travelers are really strange.” I heard a mumble and saw her shacking her head.

I moved a bit away from the center of the place and started thinking again. My first impressions in Karma seemed to drastically cut down on my IQ for a few minutes.

Where should I get started? I was expecting some kind of tutorial. There was an itch at the back of my head that didn’t vanish even after some intensive scratching.

Someone else fortunately supported my phenomenal decision-making.

“Oi! Oi, you over there!”

I turned around and saw a teenager with a wooden plate or maybe board standing on the other side. She was motioning the plate back and forth and now I was able to read it: ‘Guided noob tour’ was written on it in yellow letters. Wasn’t that perfect? I really appreciated that kind of approach. Not!

“Are you coming, or what?” She yelled across the square. Now she additionally started to bounce, with her chest not completely in synch. Was she for real? There were some people standing around her who might belong to this tour. Just by seeing their clothes they had to be beginners like me.

“Me?” I guess I was still working on recovering my IQ in this moment. Retrospective: Totally embarrassing!

“Yeah! Do I have a lazy eye?”

How rude! Well, as corporate working drone I was used to much worse. Something like that would always roll off. Call me a lotus leaf!

Maybe I just didn’t want to start an argument with the first NPC I met in the first minutes of the game. That could end quite badly. With that thought I just ambled over.

“Everyone’s here? Great!” Her face started to glow and her smile revealed picture perfect teeth.

Cute!

Damn! I was walking the dark side again and was easily wrapped up by her good looks.

“I am Jay, your guide for today.” She threw her board in the air, which was spinning a few times before disappearing with a soft Bing sound.

“So, dear beginners, amateurs, newbies and noobs. Welcome to Kalesh! This beautiful town is your starting area.” I wasn’t the only to feel annoyed by the word “noob”. Some were coughing and one of the other six players made a remark.

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“I am not playing for the first time, kiddo!”

“What? You are not pleased with my choice of words, noobs? Noobs! Noobs! Noobs!...” Jay almost tried to compose some kind of song for her own funeral. The atmosphere did not improve.

“Hahahaha. I’m just kidding and it is all in good fun. Don’t take it to heart. The truth is: Every new player is a beginner. That is the reality and no insult.” She showed her broad smile and wasn’t faced by death stares.

“Karma isn’t one of your common role-playing games. Nobody should forget that. Even the best keyboard jock and self proclaimed RPG professional starts from scratch. Some little advise: Arrogance can be lethal and a quarter of insane pain still hurts a lot!”

While she held her little speech it was a bit disconcerting to see that she moved the thump of her right hand across her throat, with a grin plastered on her face.

“There is nothing to fear for you in Kalesh, as far as I can remember. Now back to our tour. Where did I stop? Oh right, the starting area. In this town only comparably few new players spawn. We are at the southern border of the Human domain. Unregulated territories are not far away. So just do not run off in any direction without plan. You are dead meat!

Players are called travelers in Karma. You should get used to it and also call yourself as such to avoid misunderstandings.” She started to touch her neck slightly.

“Ugh, dry…” With another Bing a bottle filled with clear liquid was materialized. She grabbed it and took a big mouthful.  It was probably water. I really hoped it was only water and not some disguised stash of booze.

“Kyaa, that was great!” She sounded like an old woman. Only some idiotic additional gesture was missing.

“First lesson today: Food and beverages are an essential part in Karma. You will loose strength, concentration and your overall condition will drop if you are not eating and drinking on a regular basis. Without food you will die sooner or later. Easy, isn’t it? Just like in real life.” She took a sip from the still open bottle.

“On the plus side while dealing with basic urges, you will be able to discover so delicious things out there. You even will not gain weight as fast. That’s gourmet heaven! Just thinking about grilled Pantak…” She was reverently rolling her eyes. What the heck is Pantak? I was waiting for her to start drooling.

“Does that mean we need to use the restroom?” A man in his mid thirties was asking from behind me.

“Have to.” Jay seemed to back in reality and her usual smile was back on her face.

“But it’s a tad easier. You need to do your business only once a day and it is, well I would call it a bit cleaner. There is no need to carry tons of paper or to search for leafs without barbs in the woods. But that is not part of my tour. You’ll see later on or will experience it one way or another. I don’t poop for demonstration purposes!” A real teenager should at least blush a bit or was that the generation gap?

She now put her hands on her hips and looked a bit serious. “Who by the way do not feel like taking the tour anymore, can walk his way anytime. However, the most important elements of a successful start are explained. There are also practical exercises.”

The slightly diabolical glint in her eyes was maybe only my imagination. It still felt like I had an air conditioner directly on my back. Goose bumps!