Okay, yeah, I’m going to have to review this information just a teeny weeny little bit.

Fact 1, there’s a voice in my head telling me things.

Fact 2, eating rocks does weird stuff that it really shouldn’t.

Fact 3, what kind of magic world is this where axolotls can bite through solid rock??

It doesn’t make sense.

I mean yeah, I confess that I’m currently eating this very moment, but still!

And by the way, rocks don’t taste much, but they make me grow for some unknown reason, and if I’m lucky I happen upon some of those other rocks from before, which I think may be ores? Not sure which ones, but probably some of them.

So, to describe everything I’ve been doing since you saw me last, well…

I’m a bit ashamed to say I’ve only been eating.

Straight through the wall.

I just kept going and going, eating and munching and hearing a voice every now and then telling me I’ve grown larger somehow. I’m not even really thinking about the process anymore, just shuffling food in like a piledriver or something.

It’s actually pretty nice-,

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

And, all of a sudden, I was in the air, falling through what seemed to be several meters of air, my little antenna being the only thing keeping me in the moment.

I spun and flailed and darkness came and went, and eventually, after what seemed to be forever, I hit the ground.

Hard.

And yet, there was no pain.

Something should have broken, right?

This was THAT kind of fall, after all, and yet…

When I stood up, the only spectre of pain I could feel was a dull ache on my stomach.

In fact, when I had landed, I bounced around a fair bit, like some rubber animal toy.

When all was said and done, I just stood there, like a shivering little chihuahua. Scared to death.

Okay, I’ll admit, maybe chewing straight through the wall of a cave might not have been the best idea, but…

Yeah, no but. Just leave it at that.

Taking a deep, imaginary breath, I decided that I might as well take a look around.

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

The first thing I noticed was the fact that the entire space I was in, which seemed to be a near-spherical cavity, was lined with a web of copper lines, which I now knew to be some form of ore. And since the whole place was covered in it, the smell which seeped from it was everywhere, and it was concentrated.

It smelled like cake.

And I immediately wanted to have a taste.

I mean, come on!

It’s CAKE!!

Taking a deep breath, I took in as much of the delicious scent as my non-existent lungs could hold, only to notice there was a faint smell of something else as well, namely…

Bubblegum?...

This must be investigated.

I had gotten rather good at discerning scents as of recent, so the matter of finding the source was rather simple.

It was right in the middle of the whole cavity, meaning that the scent of bubblegum and cake blended in a strange yet utterly delightful way. The size of the cavity seemed to be at least around… fifteen me-lengths? It was rather small, anywho.

In the very middle of the cave, there was a single stalactite hanging from the ceiling, right above a smaller stalagmite, glimmering gloriously like silver in the moonlight. Maybe it is silver? Or it might be some fantasy-metal I don’t kno-,

WHoa!

Did the stalagmite just move?!

No, on closer inspection, that is no stalagmite!

It’s, uhhhh…

A giant ten meter long lobster?...

With a stalagmite on it’s back?!

Wait, no, not lobster, uhhhhh, what’s the name…

Right, crayfish!

Man, I didn’t know crayfish grew that big…

It was entirely white and slightly transparent, almost ghostlike in appearance, and had it not moved, I would definitely have confused it for a stalagmite and been done with that. But it did move.

It’s pincers were large enough to easily crack my skull, and if I was the size a human, it could definitely cut a tree in two.

The tail was long and the fin on the end was larger than most, I think.

The eyes, bulbous and nigh-unreadable as they were, seemed to be intently focused on me.

Or, rather, the light my lure gave off.

Hey, my eyes are down here!

Although it was really scary, what with him being over three times my size, I somehow managed to take a step towards him. Always assume innocence in the absence of evidence to the contrary!

He seems friendly enough to me, atleast.

And, unlike what you may think a crayfish confronted with an axolotl a third of his size would do, the crayfish took a step back, apparently intimidated by me.

Aww! Poor baby, have you been stuck here? Considering there’s even a stalagmite on your back, you must have been here for quite some time, right?

The crayfish seemed dumbfounded.

Awww you poor baby boy I’ll help you get out of here if you’d like <3

But first, I’d like to make use of this huge buffet we’ve got here!

And with that said, I immediately hopped to the wall, and started chewing straight at it. I couldn’t see what the crawfish was doing, but he seemed pretty confused.

Whatever this was, it tasted like strawberries(those fresh, ripe ones, not the artificial flavour you find in candies), and it was kind of tough to chew. But that didn’t matter. It was delicious!

I feel like a broken record: everything is delicious and all I do is eat.

Can I get fat?...

Nah, this is a magic world, obesity is for the real world.

And, soon, that voice rang out:

“Conductibility +1”

C-, Conductibility?...

Now that’s, uh…

Well, I could sort of understand the other ones, but this…

Is it about my conduct? Like how I act in front of people? Or am I going to get even more zapped than normal if I do get zapped?...

Explain it, mysterious stranger!!

This message continued to ring out every now and then, as well as the “Size” one, until it was clear that I had eaten all of the copper-coloured metal in the cavity.

There was only one edible thing here left, and it was in the very middle of this room………

Bubblegum!

I snapped my head around to face the center of the cavity, and sure enough, there was the silver-looking stalactite. And the crayfish. But he seemed pretty chill, so I’m sure it would be alright if I just… came on over?...

Stepping on my tippiest toes to make sure not to startle the poor baby boi, I carefully, oh so carefully, got closer.

He really was massive.

Not just in length, but in girth as well. His body was thick and muscular, like the apex of crayfish evolution. Hmm. Crayfish don’t just grow like this, they have to actively work for a body like this, so…

What in the world could have happened for it to become this scared? And, also, why is it down here? There doesn’t seem to be any exit apart from the one I made, so, how did it get in here?...

Mysteries, mysteries.

But right now, I want that silver!!

Looking up, I noticed a crucial flaw in my plan.

Sure, I was pretty okay at climbing, but I can’t climb upside down!

So, how do I get to the stalactite?...

Maybe I should just give u-,

Hold on.

Crayfish?

...Can I call you Clay?...

Clay, you wouldn’t mind if I,

y’know,

climbed up on your back?