I woke up lying under a cloudless sky, with the sound of waves trying to lure me back to sleep. Their efforts were stymied by the facts that my body felt indescribably strange, and that something was digging into my back hard.

I shot up as soon as the pain properly registered…and promptly had to turn all of my focus on not falling into the ocean. A moment of frantic scrambling later, I managed to take proper stock of my situation, or rather, my surroundings.

I was sitting on what looked like the ruins of a fortress. Shattered stone, glass shards, and iron bars surrounded me and a look behind me revealed that it was a piece of iron that was sticking into my back. What was truly strange (besides going to sleep in my room and waking up in a ruin) was that the wreck was in the middle of a bay.

Forcibly ignoring the rest of my situation was hard, but with an effort of will I managed to focus on the rest of my surroundings. The bay was surrounded by towering mountains of light stone, sporadically covered with patches of forest, and in the middle lay a venetian city. Two castles stood in the city, one at the shore was a cheerful mesh of church, mansion, and tavern. The other stood in the center, a gothic version of a mead hall.

I was about to start analyzing the color schemes of the roofs and lack of visible technology in the city before a particularly large wave forced me to jerk my feet up and, in the process, look down to recover my balance. Looking down had the unfortunate effect of forcing me to confront the rest of my situation.

This last aspect was the most disturbing. I was an avid reader of transported to another world books and web novels, so coming to the conclusion that I had woken up in some sort of fantasy world wasn’t exactly all that difficult. I’d even fantasized about the concept so much that the trauma associated with it would probably only hit me slowly over the coming months as I was reminded of things that I’d lost.

‘No, being isekai’d isn’t exactly something I’m worried about’ I thought as I looked down at the answer to why my body was feeling so strange.

‘Waking up as a girl, on the other hand…’ I let out a giggle at the absurdity of the thought that something that can be done with modern technology was weirder than being thrown across dimensions overnight. The sound was high and feminine and distinctly not me, and it promptly dragged my mood back down.

The waves lapped up against the ruins, uncaring of the existential crisis I was going through. Or was it crises? The whole suddenly being a girl thing really ruined the excitement of being in another world, and I really wanted to talk to my dad about it. The realization that I would have to deal with all of this myself was just depressing.

The waves continued their…waving, the sun shone brightly, and a breeze would occasionally blow to cool me down. It created a peaceful atmosphere, one well suited to sitting quietly and getting over existential crises instead of sinking deeper into them. I’d had existential crises before, maybe never on this scale, but I had, and so I knew that I could come to terms with this.

‘Like a strong independent woman’ humor is always good.

And so I sat, and I dealt, and I came to terms with the situation. Eventually questions and worries beyond being female came up and gave me something to properly focus on. Questions about exactly where I am and if there is magic here. Worries about if I was on some nice planet in 40K that was about to be devoured by a Tyranid fleet or Exterminatused.

Crises properly dealt with/suppressed, I could finally focus on the basics – food, water, and shelter. Though before that, I had one more pressing detail to deal with.

‘Who ever decided to make me a girl had better have made me hot, or I swear I will find a way to do something very unpleasant to them.’

Window shards and ocean water didn’t exactly make for fantastic mirrors, so the only things I could determine about my new body were that my hair was deep blue and reached to the small of my back, my tits seemed nice, my hips seemed wide, and I wasn’t fat. Feeling my face revealed only smooth skin. Good, I was half afraid that I was some hag destined to ‘double, double toil and trouble’ out in the woods for the rest of my life.

Clothes were easier to determine. My legs were covered in black tights and white knee-high boots. A deep-blue winter dress covered the rest of me. The skirt came down to my knees and the waist and hems of the skirt, sleeves, and neck were all covered in white fur. Completing the ensemble were a pair of black gloves and Cossack hat, also deep-blue and trimmed with white fur. I don’t know shit about fashion, but the colors seem to match so I think I look presentable.

That done, it was time to figure out a way to the city that was hopefully filled with nice people.

…

Actually, the whole transformation deal had distracted me from a pretty frequently used trope of isekai: memory manipulation.

A shiver ran down my back. My mind was mine.

Calming myself, I started running through the standard list of memories to be messed with.

‘Name? Juvia Lockser. Place of birth? Toronto. First sch-‘ my thoughts cut off.

My name isn’t Juvia Lockser, I know that, even if it is the reflexive answer.

Going through the rest of the list, I found that other than my name, all of my memories were intact. I let out a sigh of relief at the realization. The question of why my name was changed and why specifically to Juvia Lockser arose naturally from my musings.

The name tickled at something in my head, though I couldn’t for the life of me remember what until I took another look at my clothes.

I hadn’t watched the anime in a long time, I hadn’t watched any anime in while to be honest, but I distinctly remember a girl who looked a lot like I do in Fairy Tail, who was part of a guild who had a mobile fortress, whose name definitely sounded a lot like Juvia Lockser.

A second look at the castle closer to shore confirmed my thoughts – I’ve possessed Juvia just after Gray defeated her. The realization spurred a whole new wave of existential crises (am I in a simulation!?), but luckily, this flavor of existentialism is one I’ve dealt with before, and I ignored it with the ease of long practice.

I snorted. At least I can definitely confirm I’m not some hag.

Possessing Juvia also came with a whole new host of questions – chief among them being if I’d retained any of her magical prowess (no one from her past ever showed up in the show to my recollection so I doubt her personal relations would ever be an issue). Now that I thought of it, the strange feelings in my body should’ve been primarily focused on my chest and between my legs, instead of pervading my whole body.

Focusing revealed that the strangeness was actually two different sets of feelings. One biological and focused exactly where I expected it to. The other metaphysical, spread through me, and distinctly…watery. Concentrating on the second, I tried moving it towards my arm. The effort failed spectacularly. Oh, it definitely moved, as water does, but only vaguely where I wanted it to.

‘That’s fine, magic never comes on the first attempt anyway’ I thought, hardly discouraged.

‘Everybody knows that in order to do magic properly, you have to treat it like a part of you, not shove it like it’s a rock or something. Or so years of reading fantasy have taught me.’ I thought wryly.

Focusing again, I felt the magic. Then I focused on moving my fingers, not on the motions themselves, but rather what exactly I was doing to move them. I didn’t have much in the way of results – I had been moving my fingers my whole life after all, the process was far too natural to properly track. However, with my reincarnation came a fair few new bits.

I poked around the void between my legs, then clenched – as if holding in a piss. A small gasp escaped me. While similar to what I felt as a guy, it was still a strange and it took a minute to get used to the feeling enough to track exactly what I was doing in clenching entirely new muscles.

A small exertion of will and a reminder that I’m out in the open dragged my attention away from any further biological investigations and back to magic. Sinking back into my magic, I focused until I was aware of it not just as a feeling, but proprioceptively as well. Then I simply willed my magic to my hand.

The magic instantly developed a current towards my hand, leaving a mere lake suffusing most of my body compared to the ocean in my hand. I meditated on the feeling a bit. I didn’t have any awareness of how much magic I had until I started moving it, but now that I could, I started to pick up on vague hints in my mind as to what the amount of magic I had meant, what it could do, and how much it could do.

The hints didn’t come from the magic, they felt more like memories I hadn’t thought about for ages suddenly being brought up. The more I thought on them, the more memories came, and the clearer they got until I woke from my trance, at some point after the sun had set.

By the faint light of the moon and the city, with a small exertion of will and magic, a sphere of water rose from the bay and into orbit around my raised hand.

‘Lost my old name and body in exchange for magic’ my grin nearly split my face in two ‘Best. Trade. Ever!’

With a flare of magic, I liquefied and flowed into the bay.

|||

Reconstituting myself at one of the docks, I was greeted by the sight of…well the city, but closer. It told me nothing except that they have an exceptional lighting system, and the buildings were in far better repair than one would expect from a seemingly medieval/renaissance world. That could all be explained by magic though, so I didn’t focus on it.

I started walking towards what I assume was the Fairy Tail guild hall, its size and architecture making it obvious even at night. I’d barely made it off the dock before I saw someone stumbling towards…I squinted…an outhouse, I think.

‘Dock workers can’t afford toiletry enchantments? The managers are cheap and don’t want to pay for them when the bay is right there?’ I shook my head, not important right now.

I walked up to the man, who – judging from the pajamas – had just gotten out of bed and tried to get his attention.

“Hello” I winced again at my distinctly different voice. Then I positively cringed as my simple greeting evoked a scream befitting a teenage girl in a haunted house.

The man spun around and looked at me with wild eyes. I tensed as he seemed about to attack (and also at the realization that he was considerably larger than me) but he registered me after a moment and seemed to relax.

“By the Clock, don’t scare me like that girl” the man said, before frowning “What’re you doing walking around at night? Magnolia may be one of the safest cities in the kingdom, but a young girl like you still shouldn’t be walking around alone.”

I blinked. Being referred to as a young girl is weird, even if it is something I’ll have to get used to (hopefully before I was being referred to as a woman).

“I just wanted to ask if that” I pointed towards the guild hall “is the Fairy Tail guild hall?”

The man looked at me like I was an idiot. “Yeah, that’s the Fairies’ hall. What else would it be?”

I resisted the urge to explain myself. “Just double checking. Loud, cheerful, and known for property damage, right?”

“Yeah”

“Ok. Good. Thanks. Bye.”

I walked away, doing my best not to seem like I was running away despite reminding myself that I cared nothing for the guy’s opinion of me and I’d likely forget this whole conversation within a week.

Walking through Magnolia was surprisingly boring after the first couple minutes. I’d been to Venice before and Magnolia was fairly similar – if in better repair – and I wasn’t the greatest connoisseur of architecture. The water burbled under the bridges and crickets could occasionally be heard from some of the green spaces throughout the city, it was all underwhelmingly normal. Hell, even the magical lighting could be mistaken for normal streetlights if you weren’t specifically paying attention. I’d normally have my ear pods in and blasting metal of some sort on a walk like this, and the fact that I would likely never listen to my favorite bands again sent a pang of homesickness through me.

Arriving in front of the guild hall, I felt strangely nervous. I know that everyone in there is pretty friendly (Laxus excluded, but he’s not here so he doesn’t count) and that I’m fairly capable of defending myself, but I couldn’t shake the worry that this world was just the slightest bit different and that walking in would result in Makarov squishing me like a bug.

The worry forced me to debate my plan of action, but I couldn’t really find any fault with it either. So, in a stroke of brilliance, I settled for a compromise.

I flared my magic as much as I could, turning the night in into a blue day for a brief moment and announcing my presence to probably every remotely magic sensitive person in the city.

Immediately, lights in the guild turned on and I heard crashing indicative of chairs and benches falling over. The sounds faded and a moment later the doors swung open revealing an empty hall.

“Ahem”

I looked down and was greeted by the form of a diminutive and clearly grumpy old man.

“Hi!” I said with a smile.

He only frowned.

Maybe I should have waited until morning?

|||

“Why are you here?” Makarov growled.

I’d been led to his office, a room almost reminiscent of Dumbledore’s office with all of the clearly magical artifacts of unknown purpose and the heavy wooden desk Makarov sat behind.

“So…uhhh” I trailed off. Focusing was hard under his glare. I knew he was a generally nice person, but that was from the show. Sitting across from him was a different matter entirely. The man had presence that was completely unaffected by his height or the fact that he had to hop up onto his comically tall chair to sit level with the desk.

A hand snapped in front of my face. I managed to refocus just in time to see his arm retract back to its normal length. I blinked, forcefully ignoring how unsettling that looked outside of anime.

“Right, uh, do you have some kind of soul scanning device or spell or something? It might make things easier.”

He raised an eyebrow but extended an arm to grab a monocle with various runes spinning across that glass. His eyes widened and –

|||

I woke still sitting in Makarov’s office, except now I was bound to the chair by golden runes and my magic was frozen. A dozen devices were pointed at me, foreign magic suffusing me from head to toe. Most terrifyingly though, was that Makarov was ten feet tall and glowing gold, his magic weighing on me like a mountain.

“YOU HAVE 1 MINUTE BEFORE I ERASE YOU OUTSIDER” Makarov thundered.

I thought frantically, trying to get my story coherent enough to deliver in under a minute before realizing I was wasting time.

“Those are all truth telling devices right!?” at his nod, I continued “I went to sleep yesterday and then woke up in the ruins of the Phantom Lord guild hall in Juvia’s body, I have no idea how it happened and…”

My story came out as a panicked, barely organized stream of thought. I rambled, trying to focus on the words instead of my impending end, until Makarov held up a hand (my terrified mind fixated on the fact that it was bigger than my head and the accompanying images of him popping it like an egg).

“QUIET.”

I shut up.

The pressure lifted and Makarov shrank down to normal size (for him anyway). He seemed to relax, but the runes binding me and my magic stayed.

“Explain again, slowly” he ordered.

I swallowed and gathered my thoughts.

“Right, so …”

|||

Makarov sat quietly, thinking about what I’d told him. I just sat nervously, hoping that he wasn’t about to kill me.

“So the reason you sought out my guild is that you knew of our kindness in another universe?” he asked eventually.

“Yes sir. I know it sounds rather absurd – “

“I’m so proud” he stared of into the distance, completely ignoring me. “The bonds of family truly transcend everything…” he continued mumbling, though I couldn’t make him out past that.

Still bound and itchy from the magic of the scanners, I tried my best not to make any noise lest I anger him again. The discomfort eventually got to me though, and I cleared my throat to get his attention.

He started and focused on me.

“Right. Sorry.” He waved his hand, and the bindings all disappeared, my magic melted, and the devices all floated back to various shelves. “I believe you; you’re in no danger from me anymore. I’m sure you have questions though so ask away.”

I relaxed slightly, convinced that he wasn’t going to kill me any time soon.

I looked down to gather my thoughts and order my questions before starting.

“What are Outsiders?” I asked.

He nodded at the question, clearly having expected it.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

“An Outsider, as the name suggests, is a being that comes from outside our universe. Beyond their method of possession and general hostility, there are almost no commonalities between different Outsiders. You are actually the first Outsider I’ve ever heard of that comes with peaceful intentions.”

He held up a hand to stop my follow up question.

“In a standard possession, the possessor either completely removes or suppresses the original soul. Possession by an Outsider, as you’ve no doubt noticed, leaves the magic of the original soul intact in order to act as an anchor of sorts for the Outsider.”

He paused for a moment there, and I waited for him to continue. I cocked my head in question as he seemed to be waiting for some sort of reaction from me.

“You’re not bothered by what happened to the original Juvia?” he asked.

I blinked “Oh. No. Well, yes, but I realized soon after I woke up, so I’ve already dealt with the guilt.” I answered quickly.

The guild master seemed doubtful. “Did you deal with it or did you suppress it?” My wince told him everything he needed to know about that.

“I’m sure you know that isn’t healthy” he said with a fatherly frown, the kind that conveys both care and disapproval all at once. He left the topic alone after that.

“Returning to Outsiders, much of the reason they are considered so dangerous is that their method of possession is extremely difficult to detect and that they retain use of their own magical lattice in addition to gaining use of the original soul’s.”

I considered that for a second, then promptly shoved my more mundane questions to the back of my mind. Interrogating an archmage (Wizard Saint – whatever) about esoteric magical topics is far more interesting than where I would be sleeping or buying my groceries.

“Why is the possession so difficult to detect? Why is having two lattices better than one, outside of increased magic reserves? How common are Outsiders? Are there any Outsiders that don’t need to possess people to exist?” I shot out.

Makarov raised an eyebrow. “Not where I thought your mind would go after that, but very well. In order of simplicity: Outsiders are very rare and only the more experienced mages know about them. Outsiders that do not require a body to possess do exist, but considering our universe still exists, they’ve never been successfully summoned. Outsider possession is difficult to detect because most possessions come with a distinct change of magical signature – usually to something that doesn’t quite match the host body. Most possession detection methods rely on this change of magical signature to function, but since Outsiders retain the hosts magical lattice, this method is completely ineffective.” He waved at the monocle “I managed to detect you because I’m fortunate enough to be in possession of one of the greatest divination tools ever made.”

My eyes lit up. Makarov noticed and promptly shot me down.

“I’ll only be answering your last question and nothing more, I would like to sleep tonight” I looked down at the chastisement.

“You can read about anything else you’d like to know in the library. Fairy Tail is in possession of one of the finest magical libraries on the continent” the last was said with a clear note of pride.

“Anyway, back to your last question. This will require a bit of basic magical theory.” He cleared his throat in preparation of a lecture. “Every mage is born with a magical lattice which, initially, only determines the amount of magic they possess at once. As a mage grows and trains, so to does the lattice, becoming capable of storing more magic, recovering faster, and refining the quality of the magic. However, more important than a lattice’s ability to retain and recover magic, is its ability to Bond to certain types of magic, increasing the potency of that type of magic at the expense of reducing its ability to channel other types of magic. And before you ask the question every young mage asks, Bonding to a magic is always worth it, as without a Bond, any magics beyond the intermediate level are utterly impossible and even getting to that level would take decades. Bonding to multiple magics is possible however, but difficult and time consuming, getting even more so with each new magic you Bond. I myself am quite proud to have Bonded three separate magics.”

He pointed at me “Juvia, as another example, was Thrice Bonded to Water, which I imagine made her capable of some truly impressive feats of water magic while making her utterly incapable of using other magics to any extent. Anything you can think of?”

I thought for a moment, then raised my arm and turned it into water. Makarov’s eyebrow’s nearly shot of his forehead.

“Very impressive feats of water magic indeed” he coughed.

“Is it?” I asked, “If I’m remembering it right, Natsu can destroy a city or something, can’t he?”

Makarov looked pained and might’ve muttered something that sounded vaguely like ‘of course that’s what she remembers’. He recovered quickly though so I wasn’t sure.

“You should know that there is a difference between power and finesse. Natsu, for all that he’s a fantastic combatant, has little in the way of subtlety. Elemental Embodiment, on the other hand, is a skill many elemental mages seek, and few manage to master.”

“Now” he rummaged in his desk, before pulling out a map and handing it to me, “If I haven’t read you wrong, you’re smart enough to figure out the rest on your way to Fairy Hills. Feel free to take any unoccupied room you like.”

He hopped to his feet and walked through a door in the back wall that I could’ve sworn wasn’t there before. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m old and need my sleep. Good night!”

With that, he was gone. I looked at the map, it showed what I think was a map of Magnolia with all of the Fairy Tail affiliated buildings clearly pointed out. I looked at the empty office. I looked at the monocle that was apparently one of the greatest divination tools ever made. The runes were still swimming across the glass, and as I came closer, they sped up and rearranged themselves.

“Don’t even think about it” the runes spelled out.

I shivered and walked out of the guild.

Magnolia was still quiet, and the walk provided plenty of time to realize why a second lattice was such an advantage. Makarov said he was ‘quite proud’ of having bonded to three separate magics and he was over eighty years old and one of the ten most powerful mages on the continent. Bonding to a second magic at practically no cost is a huge advantage. Hell, if Makarov had a second lattice, he may have Bonded five or six magics by now and been the unquestionably greatest mage of all time.

I may not be Makarov, but if I was even able to Bond to just two magics with my second lattice, I’d be on his level in versatility, even if nowhere near him in power and skill.

My fantasies carried me all the way to the doors of Fairy Hills, a three story, H-shaped building with white walls, evenly spaced square windows and a shingled roof. Reaching for the front door prompted a faint yellow light to scan me. It stopped at the map and the door swung open.

I watched the process with fascination. It was just so casually magical that it really drove home that this world was completely different from my own.

The hall beyond was dark, so I focused a bit of magic into my hand, letting it leak out to provide a faint blue glow. The hallway was empty, simple wood paneled flooring leading off in either direction. A stairway across from me led to the upper floors and the basement, and next to it was a plaque of some sort. Closer inspection revealed the plaque to be a directory of sorts, showing which girls had claimed which rooms and where the various facilities were.

It hadn’t hit me with Makarov but seeing that Erza Scarlet and Mirajane Strauss had split the third floor in half between them, and that Cana Alberona and Evergreen each took two rooms to themselves…it was utterly surreal. Fictional characters that were no longer fictional.

I shook my head; I’d deal with the freak out when I met them properly and hopefully didn’t make too bad of a first impression.

There were a few rooms still available so I chose the one as far away from everything as I could get without infringing on Erza’s or Mira’s territories. It was closest to the library, right next to Cana’s rooms, and I liked my solitude.

The walk to the room was quiet. Despite generally being eccentric, it appeared that none of the Fairy Tail mages were nocturnal.

The door to my room was wooden and utterly unremarkable, accurately reflecting the state of the room. The floor was covered in the same wood paneling as the hallway and the walls were a bland white. The bed was decently large and set in the corner, a simple nightstand next to it. A door on the left led to the bathroom, itself a simple affair of white toilet, sink, and shower.

It appeared that decorating was left entirely to the tenant. ‘I’m sure that some of the girls would be willing to help out. Once I’ve convinced them I mean no harm anyway’.

For now though, I wanted to get to something I’ve been resisting since the moment I realized I was a girl.

Having never worn a dress or a bra before, stripping took a few moments longer than usual, but I managed, and folded my clothes roughly and stacked them on the nightstand.

Then, by the blue light of my magic, I posed in front of the bathroom mirror and inspected myself. This led to poking and jiggling my new tits. It felt nice. It led to poking at my slit, which was getting a little moist. A most interesting sensation.

My investigations led me to the bed and soon devolved into something that wasn’t an investigation at all.

…

Suffice to say that I went to sleep sweaty, panting, and absolutely satisfied.

|||

The burning light in my eyes and a bell’s infernal tolling brought me out of my slumber. They also brought out of me a penchant for melodramatic complaining.

I rolled away from the window and closed my eyes to try and get some more sleep. ‘Who the hell rings a bell in the morning, is this the medieval ages or something? I’m not a goddamn farmer and this bed is fucking comfortable. Who ever thought this was a good idea is going to get a bucket of freezing water in their face when I get to them…’ My thoughts continued in that vein for a good while, letting me ignore the bell for the most part and lulling me into a sort of half doze.

I could only distract myself for so long though, and eventually the effort I was putting into ignoring the bell served to wake me up all on its own. ‘Why the hell is the bell ringing for so long? I swear by the limp dicked Satan can you please let people sleep.’

The hair tickling my shoulders and the pulling on my chest rather firmly reminded me of my new situation. I froze but moved on to my morning ablutions after a second. The reminder was a bit of a shock, but after yesterday’s masturbation session, I was far more okay with being a girl.

Washing is a fairly simple affair when you’re a water mage, so the whole process took maybe ten seconds. Getting dressed was mostly painless except for one small part – the bra. I eventually just gave up an turned my chest into water and just pulled the bra through myself to put it on (it was difficult even then, I mean seriously, who the fuck invented these things).

Escaping into the hallway before the anxiety about the undoubtedly negative reception I was about to get from a bunch of really hot girls could manifest, I made my way to the mess hall. Judging from the empty halls on my way there, I was the last to get up.

I hadn’t really noticed last night – it was dark. and I was focused on getting to my room – but by the light of day, all of the doors had a lot more personality to them. Cana’s door was painted like the back of one of her cards, though the paint was old and stained here and there (probably with booze). Lucy’s door had a couple of stars on it, and another door was made of dark brown wood carved to resemble a mass of vines.

The doors to the mess hall were clearly made to resemble to doors to Fairy Tail, and were currently slightly ajar. Through them I could see that the girls were holding a sort of meeting. A girl with long white hair and a red dress – Mira probably – stood with her back to me, blocking off most of my view of the rest of the room. Walking in and interrupting the meeting seemed like a terrible way of making a first impression or mitigating the hostility from the fact that I was wearing the face of someone who tried to kill them all of two days ago, so I decided to just wait outside the doors and listen in on the meeting while I waited for it to finish.

“– come on girls, please just admit it now. Whoever did it will be in a lot less trouble if they tell me now, than if I have to find out who it was. You know I will.” Mira was saying.

Huh. Wonder who did what. It seems pretty serious if the whole dorm is gathered.

“I know somebody brought a boy here last night – “

I froze. I had a sneaking suspicion that I knew where she was going with this.

“– I wouldn’t be surprised of the whole dorm heard you two going at it.”

I blushed. Last night I had found out that being a screamer is at least partially biological, and that Juvia was most definitely a screamer. My activities were quite vocal to put it mildly.

I decided that sparing the other girls Mira’s wrath and sparing Mira a fair bit of work was good way to make a first impression. I hesitantly knocked on the door trying desperately to fight down my blush.

“Yes?” called Mira. She and the other girls all turned to look at me as I walked in. Their expressions of curiosity flashed to cold hostility as soon as my appearance properly registered.

“What are you doing here?” Mira hissed, all traces of friendliness gone.

Suddenly confronted by the glares of a group that was both capable and inclined to murder me, fighting down my blush was the least of my issues.

“Ok, first of all, I’ve already talked to the guild master – he’s the one who sent me here” I started. “Second of all, I’d be really happy to explain if you’d all stop trying to murder me with your…eyes” I hesitated at the last bit, realizing that in a world where there are multiple examples of eye magics, looks that can kill isn’t exactly an expression. I was just glad that none of the girls here practiced any eye magics.

Everybody looked to Mira. She thought for a moment, before relaxing slightly. The other girls followed her example, and a few swords flew from behind me and into Erza’s hand before dissolving into motes of light.

I stared at the swords, then looked around frantically for any other weapons, monsters, constructs, or spells waiting out of sight to kill me. I relaxed when I didn’t see or detect any, but only slightly. Nothing quite calls to mind your own mortality like seeing a sword ready to run you through only after the wielder decided to put it away.

“Right, so, umm…” I cleared my throat “Do you mind if I sit down? Standing here is really awkward.”

Mira waved at a chair across from her and Erza, putting them between me and the rest of the girls.

“Alright, I’m here right now because I was heading down here to explain myself but saw the meeting and decided to wait for it to be over before coming in. I decided to interrupt because I overheard what the meeting was about and felt that I shouldn’t make any of you work or suffer for my transgressions.”

Mira raised an eyebrow, and the other girls lost a little hostility in favor of curiosity. Bisca’s rapidly reddening face indicated that she realized what I was saying without me needing to finish though.

“The noise last night, that was me” I clarified awkwardly. A thought occurred to me. “By myself though! There were no boys involved!” I blurted out.

The reactions to my explanation were a real study in differing personalities. Mira’s expression told me nothing. Erza was doing a credible job of showing nothing, her efforts only ruined by the fact that her face was the same color as her hair. Bisca, having caught on first, had transitioned from embarrassment to plain annoyance with me. Lucy, Levy, and Laki were all stuck in red faced embarrassment though (they’re all in their late teens, what the hell have they been doing to still blush at the mention of sex!?).

Mira, clearly the leader of this gathering (dorm mother?), told me to continue with the rest of my story.

This particular song and dance I was familiar with and I jumped into the story without hesitation.

“So have y’all ever heard of Outsiders...”

|||

My explanation set them all at ease, especially once I showed them the map. Apparently, it was an item that could only be given out by the guild master so the fact that I had it meant that Makarov trusted me.

The atmosphere was still a bit awkward though, so Mira took charge of properly showing me around Fairy Hills and introducing me to all the other girls. Evergreen was away at the moment, which I’m perfectly fine with considering at this point she’s a bit of a bitch.

The introductions really broke the ice, and I was chatting casually with Levy about the world over breakfast when Mira collected all of us and led us to the guild. Going together wasn’t exactly standard, but an Outsider joining the guild isn’t something that happens every day either.

Erza stood in front of me as we walked into the guild, probably to protect me from Natsu reflexively punching me in the face or something. The gesture was heartwarming in that she already cared enough for me to do that, but also disturbing in that she felt it necessary to do so.

The guild hall seemed far more subdued than the show had led me to believe, but Natsu and Gray weren’t here so this could just be the standard state of affairs. Everybody perked up at our groups entrance and, as expected, tensed as soon as they noticed me.

I poked Erza. “Can somebody else explain? I’ve told my story three times in the last half a day and I’m getting tired of it.”

“Not to worry my girl” came the guild master’s voice from right next to me.

I did not squeak. And if anybody criticizes me over it then I’ll have them know that Lucy did too.

Makarov let me calm down, projecting an aura of smug satisfaction all the while. “I’ll be explaining your situation to everyone over the course of the day.” He paused “Well, almost everyone. Those two are yours to deal with.”

I’d barely managed to form the question of ‘What two?’ before the doors burst open, letting in Natsu and Gray, both panting and glaring at each other.

“We’ll finish this after breakfast, smoke brain” Gray said.

“I’ll leave you in a puddle” Natsu huffed.

Simultaneously, they turned away from each other and towards the bar.

‘And three, two, one’ I thought.

“Fire Dragon’s Iron Fist”

“Ice Make: Hammer”

I barely had moment to react before both boys had their head slammed through the floor.

“Now boys, Juvia has changed and she’s joining out guild. You are going to be nice to her.” Erza said, completely matter of fact, no doubt in her voice that she would be obeyed. I looked around the guild hall nobody was even reacting except Makarov, and him only looking morosely and the two head shaped holes in the floor.

“If Juvia tells me you’ve been making trouble for her, there will be consequences. Am I understood?”

“Yes Ma’am!”

“Good” said Erza. She let the pair get up and walk to a table to order their breakfast.

I met Lucy’s eyes. She looked just as shocked as I was. Good, good, I’m not the only sane one here.

Giving the holes one last forlorn look, Makarov walked back to the bar and hopped onto it.

“Attention everyone!” Makarov let the guild settle down before continuing. “Today we will be welcoming a new member into our guild” a round of cheers followed that “However, Fairy Tail is the greatest guild in Fiore!” another cheer.

“We can’t let just anyone join!” Lucy looked a little confused.

“So after considering our new member’s abilities, I have come up with a challenge!”

Oh no.

“Fully funded by the guild, we’re going to have a drinking contest between Juvia and Cana!” Makarov grinned at me. The guild cheered at his words, but none cheered louder than Cana.

“WOO! Free booze! I’m in Heaven!” her head snapped to face me “You better not fall out early, I want to drink the guild dry!”

I nodded at her faintly and let myself be led to a table in the middle of the room that Makarov had apparently cleared specifically for this purpose.

Getting over my surprise, I turned to Makarov and asked, “Do I at least get to pick the drink?”

Cana butted in before he could even open his mouth. “I swear to the Clock, if you pick something like hard lemonade, I will make your life miserable.”

I answered her with a look I reserved for only my friends’ most moronic ideas. “We’ll be drinking vodka”.

Makarov nodded to Mira, who disappeared behind the bar.

Cana pursed her lips “It’s not as good as whiskey but I suppose it’ll do.”

“’It’s not as good as whiskey’” I mocked “Of course its not as good as whiskey! What kind of person wastes good whiskey on a drinking contest?”

“The kind that appreciates a good drink” Cana shot back.

“Wastrel” I sneered.

“Savage”

“Heathen”

“Barbarian”

Two bottles slamming down on the table called our attention back to our surroundings and the crowd that had been watching our back and forth pissing contest.

Makarov cleared his throat “The rules are as follows: one bottle has to be finished every three minutes. First person to fail to finish a bottle within the time limit, throw up, or pass out loses. Any questions?”

We shook our heads.

“Then the contest will begin as soon as I open the bottles.”

We nodded to indicate we were ready.

With an impressive contortion of his fingers, Makarov popped the corks off both bottles simultaneously. Cana and I immediately grabbed for the bottles and started chugging. Well, Cana was chugging. I, on the other hand, having realized that I didn’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell in outdrinking a person who could hold more booze than they weighed with no problems, was cheating.

I’d turned a small passage through my body into water, leading from my mouth to my foot. My foot was positioned over a crack in the floorboards, and I had extended a tendril of water through the crack to the ground underneath. As the vodka passed through the passage, I separated the water from the alcohol and other ingredients, surrounding them with the water and sending them to the ground where I covered the alcohol with water to keep the smell from escaping. It was a challenge to finish the whole process in only three minutes without using a noticeable amount of magic, but it was doable.

Slamming the empty bottles onto the table simultaneously, we stared into each other’s eyes and motioned for the next bottle.

Feeling the bottle enter my hand, I grasped it and threw it back like the last one. This time though, I let my body absorb just the tiniest amount of alcohol. Being completely unaffected by the booze would be rather suspicious after all.

The pattern continued for a while, and in between bouts of shit talking each other, I got around to asking her about her magic a bit.

“Oh, w-well you see.” Cana gathered herself a bit, we were both a bit tipsy at this point “I make these spe-speshal cards and then I can put things in them and take ‘em out later.”

I was neither interested nor fully capable of understanding a more nuanced explanation at the moment, just as Cana wasn’t interested or capable of giving one. However, the explanation of her magic gave a me hunch about her alcohol capacity.

A few bottles later, as we were chugging the latest bottle of…something, I wasn’t really sure nor did I care what they were giving us anymore, I hit my knee against the bottom of the table causing a loud bang. Cana jumped, and by the end of those three minutes she’d made a much larger jump in inebriation than any before.

My triumph must have shown on my face, because Cana scowled in almost murderous rage, before focusing on me with an intensity I’d only seen in…actually never. This was the most intense glare I’d ever had directed at me.

In my current state though, I only gave her a dopey grin “I-I gotchu now” I slurred.

But I didn’t have her, because Cana had caught onto me too.

From there, the drinking contest became less of a drinking contest, and more of a game of distraction. Sudden sounds, clashing legs, clinking bottles mid chug, and barbed comments defined the rest of the contest.

It didn’t take long before the sounds were no longer quite so sudden, the kicks started missing, and the comments became too slurred to be properly intelligible.

Unfortunately for me, while I may have figured out her game first, Cana was ultimately far more practiced than me at magically keeping her inebriation under control. I found my control finally breaking before Cana’s. Holding the bottle that I knew would doom me, I prepared my final move.

I downed the bottle, and as I felt myself being drawn into oblivion, I made sure that both my hands landed on the table. All fingers curled in but one.

|||

I woke an unknown amount of time later with a throat that could give the Sahara a run for its money and a skull splitting headache. I tried to open my eyes, but a lancing pain through them sent me groaning back into the blessed darkness.

I lay there, suffering, my mental faculties slowly starting up, like the clockwork in a rusted watch. Remembering what happened just before I fell unconscious, the rusty gears of my mind managed to deduce why I was feeling so awful. A few more tentative turns late my mind churned out a partial solution to my problem.

I focused to momentarily turn my body into water, the process of turning back rehydrating me. I still felt awful, but I could sit up and open my eyes at least.

I was still in the guild hall; at the very table we’d had the contest at actually. It was night and the place was empty. The light that had caused me such pain initially turned out to be a candle. Across from me, Cana lay sleeping on the table in much the same way I imagined I had been a few moments ago. She was starting to stir though.

“Water” she rasped.

I conjured a bit of water and sent it to her. She swallowed, not even pausing to question the source. I kept up the stream up until she too sat up. We looked at each other, both feeling far too awful to really summon up any feelings except commiseration over our shared pain.

“Did I get in?” I asked eventually.

“Yeah”

I flopped back into my chair.

“Fucking finally.”