Chapter 5 – As Long as You Let Me
The alarm clock rang again, and a hand slapped it as a voice proclaimed, “What a bother!”
This routine had repeated itself for a few years now. Sleeping was the remedy for his soul—that’s what Kyou sincerely believed. Besides his academic tasks and housekeeping, there was nothing he enjoyed more than sleeping, as his lack of consciousness gave him respite from this tiresome field of work called life.
The same loving mother prepared his breakfast, dictating without words or intention that his gratitude was supposed to be even greater than it was yesterday since he had done nothing for her that could repay her efforts from the day before. And so, another troublesome day had just begun.
The only difference was that the TV news was buzzing with the death of the Prime Minister of Japan in a traffic accident. Reporters were pointing out inconsistencies in the police reports, raising doubts that this could be a cover-up for something more sinister. Not that Kyou cared about it anyway; his life didn’t change at all because of it.
Classes were boring as usual, and Ai decided to join Kyou on the rooftop again. This time, both just used their earphones, listening to music while sitting near each other. Kyou found himself stealing glances at her from time to time, bothered by the fact that he couldn’t understand what exactly she aimed to gain by staying by his side. Asking that question seemed like a hassle in itself, and he couldn’t decide if having an answer was even worth the trouble, so he just stayed there, enjoying Chopin as time passed by. Soon, the bell signalling the end of the lunch break rang, and both went back to class, exchanging only a few words in the process.
When classes for the day ended, Kyou quickly grabbed his stuff and headed for the exit. Ai called out, “Hey, wait! Let’s go to the station together!” Kyou was not surprised. I was too slow, he thought. Ai noticed his displeasure but returned a radiant smile to him, already by his side. Accepting defeat, Kyou just sighed and started walking, under the playful gaze of his classmates.
A few blocks away from school, Ai saw an ad on the street mentioning a festival and pointed to it, saying, “Oh! The Koenji Awa Odori is going to happen in a few months! Good to know the date, so we can prepare ahead.”
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“We?” Kyou asked, as if we was too many people in that sentence.
“Yes, we! It’s not like you’ll have other plans anyway.”
That was the last straw for Kyou. “What is your problem? Why do you keep bothering me? No, why do you go out of your way to stay by my side? I’m not your friend. I’m your classmate. I don’t give you anything, and you have nothing to gain from staying with me. So why the heck do you do that?”
Ai was surprised at first, then embarrassed, and finally smiled in defeat. There was no way he would know the answer if she didn’t say it, so that is what she decided to do. “That’s not true.”
Kyou was confused.
“I get something from walking with you. I get peace.”
Kyou was still confused.
“You see, I never saw anything disturb you, or defeat you, or depress you. You’re like a rock in the middle of a storm. I know you would be able to achieve anything you decide to do. And I know you don’t hate me. I know I can trust you.”
“Trust me? I have nothing that you could trust in me.”
“And that’s the point. I feel like I understand you. I feel like you won’t change all of a sudden. I feel like I can believe in you.” Her eyes were closed, a pure smile on her face. “I don’t have to worry about anything when I am beside you. And that, that is peace to me.”
“I’m not trying to give you peace.”
“That’s OK. I’ll stay around for as long as you let me,” she said, smiling like a playful child at an unbelieving Kyou. Peace? What the heck is she talking about? How can she get peace from our talks? Most of the time I’m just trying to get peace myself! Seriously…
Unable to reach any kind of conclusion, he decided to drop the topic. “I’m not going. You get Mia and go have fun!”
“Heeee? I can invite Mia to go, but you are coming, too!”
“Try to force me.”
“I know where you live!”
He stopped, seriously looking her in the eyes.
“And I also have a powerful ally that will make you change your mind.” My mother, he thought. If talk of a summer festival reached her ears, he was sure that he would never hear the end of it from her. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Screw this life!
Finally surrendering, he sighed and said, “You will pay for what you eat. I’m not buying you anything.”
“Don’t worry, I wasn’t expecting you to buy me anything. But we will prepare a picnic to get a good place and wait for the festival to begin. So, just remember to be ready when the time comes.”
He didn’t respond, secretly wishing she would forget about this in the days to come. A man can only dream.
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The next day, Kyou arrived at school as usual, sat down as usual, and tried to sleep a little before classes started. But a small commotion caught his attention. A classmate was crying helplessly, entering the room carrying a vase with a white flower. Others were following, some with tear-filled eyes or openly crying. What is this? A white flower? Someone died?
His somewhat sleepy mind jolted awake when the girl placed the vase on a student’s desk. She placed it on Ai’s desk.