Novels2Search

Fear & Valor

Death came in the form of fire, wild and uncompromising.

Seedot remembered when he first saw it, way atop his perch in the grand forest. Supposedly, the sun was a big ball of flame, and he remembered believing it to be a gentle thing. Warming him and his siblings as they perched atop the tree, under watch of the elder Nuzleaf. They, in turn, were all protected by the great Matriarch, the Shiftree whose clan was the most powerful in the forest. No Pokémon or trainer dared enter her territory, for she was always on watch, a guardian, a god.

A mother.

Upon the tallest tree Seedot watched his mother fight for their safety, fighting off Swellow, Masquerians, and Dustox. He remembered one night, under the light of the full moon, when his mother returned, stumbling into her perch with the older Nuzleaf, their bodies scarred, bleeding, and oozing pus from foul wounds.

He remembered dutifully carrying a basket of woven grass atop his head, filled to the brim with berries of all types. He was never good at memorizing what did what, so he brought as many as his little form could carry, until he reached the heart of the tree where the injured rested.

“Why do you not rest with your kin?” His matriarch huffed, annoyed.

“I was worried about you.” He replied, looking down.

Silence passed between them, and Seedot had worried he’d done something to upset her. The comforting arms that wrapped around him changed that, as the Matriarch’s leaves held him close to her chest, so close he could hear her oaken heart beat slowly, the song of the forest.

“Children should not worry.” She whispered to him.

“Then what should I do?”

“Live. Grow. Be strong.”

She sent him away with those words, his elder kin gathering around to share their song of battle, and to plan their next move. Seedot waddled back to his perch, and as he gazed upon the moon, he wondered; What did being strong mean?

His routine as a Seedot was very simple. In the waking hours of dawn he’d exit his perch, as the Matriarch made her rounds through the tree, giving the young ones a drink from the collected dewdrops. Water was very important for their growth, but to go down to the lakes outside of their territory meant unnecessary risk, so they harvested from the leaves and the grass of their tree. From there he would go back to absorbing the sun's rays. Or perhaps wrestle with his brothers and sisters, maybe even the younger Nuzleaf if they weren't busy.

That day was different though. On that day he saw the smog that would haunt his nightmares, the roiling fumes of ash that marked the start of his pitiful life.

On that day, he saw fire.

It was to the bellows of a behemoth, it’s primal cry shook the heavens, it’s pained bellows ruptured the earth, superheated earth–magma–as he later learned it’s name, pooled it’s way across the grass, burning everything in site.

Seedot didn’t know the monster he was looking at, only that it was wrong, that it should have never existed. A hulking 4-legged form, it held twin volcanoes on its back that simply oozed molten rock, sharp stone jutted everywhere out of its body, as if trying to escape a prison of flesh. The beast’s eyes were a dull red, completely honed in on one thing, and one thing only.

His mother.

“SHIFTRY!” A voice called out, and it was then Seedot noticed the trainer beside the beast. Dressed in all reds with a face set in an almost manic grin. Soot stained his unkept red hair, wild eyes roved around their home, searching for the Matriarch. The glasses set on his face glowed with ethereal energy that almost appeared to link the trainer and Pokémon together.

“I know you’re here!” The trainer said again, “Do you see me!? Do you see what I’ve accomplished, what you could have become?”

But Shiftry wasn’t listening, instead she ran back to the tree, gathering all her children around her.

“We must go!” She hissed, “Gather the young and leave!”

“[Eruption]”

It was as if Arceus themself had cast his judgement on the world, and deemed it lacking. The sky had turned black with ash and smog, choking out the sun as meteors of hellish wrath rained onto the forest floor. The grass burned, the trees burned, everything burned, and through it all the Trainer laughed.

“You think I’d let you just leave!?” He bellowed, “I’m this close to beginning my dream, Shiftry, our dream, just look at him!”

In response, Camerupt bellowed, spewing fire that turned the lower branches of their home to ash.

“He dares!” One of his elder brothers snarled, “I’ll kill him!”

“Don’t!” The Matriarch called, but it was too late. The elder Nuzleaf rushed into battle, mimicking the art of Feint Attack perfectly, weaving complex maneuvers through the air as it rushed the Camerupt.

The blow struck, Nuzleaf’s fist cracking against the Camerupt’s head. His elder brother snarled victoriously, before the realization set in.

Camerupt didn’t even flinch.

“One of yours?” Maxie taunted, as Camerupt smashed its head into the Nuzleaf, knocking him down to the ground. Fear entered his eyes as the Pokémon opened its mouth, fire churning within its gut.

“NO!” Shiftree moved, blurring into action as the torrent of flame ripped through Camerupt’s maw. Shiftree managed to grab her son before the flames could, turning her back so that the fire could hit her instead. She cried out, but jumped back to safety, dropping Nuzleaf onto the branches.

“Matriarch! I-I’m sorry!” The Nuzleaf cried out.

“You must…you must go.” She wheezed, “You must…hide.”

“Don’t bother, Shiftry.” Maxime waved. “The only way they’re getting out of here is if you kill me. I need you one more time, girl. You’re the one, the only one who can push Camerupt even further. The one who can push him past his limits.”

“GO!”

Her brood nodded, Seedot’s shamed brother cupped him in his hands, before leaping away. It didn't take long to realize they wouldn't be able to leave without a fight, as more and more of the enemy arrived with fire and death. One by one his brave siblings fought, and one by one his brave siblings died, their lifeless, charred corpses locked in eternal screams.

“You will hide here.” His brother ordered, stuffing Seedot into a small den left behind by some other Pokémon. “You will hide, and you will not emerge until the Matriarch has won, do you understand?”

“Don’t go!” Seedot begged, “Don’t leave me here!”

A hand cracked across his face, and Seedot sat there, stunned. He looked up to the furious gaze of his brother, his lips peeled into a snarl made worse from the burns that marred his skin.

“You are the Matriarch’s son. Fear does not exist, only victory.”

“Pl-”

“Enough! Show me! Show me you don’t fear what’s coming.”

But the little Seedot couldn’t, tears welled in his eyes as fire roared around them. He could hear his mother still fight, her cries of rage and the red man’s laughter. Voices–human voices–began to near their spot, and with a click of his tongue Nuzleaf pushed him into the den, before leaping away.

“There’s one over there! Don’t let him escape!”

Seedot wanted to follow, wanted to fight, but as he stumbled near the edge of the den he froze.

Fire.

Fire everywhere.

Smoke choked the air, the heat burned his hardened carapace, the scent of burnt flesh permeated the air as the crackle of fire danced and laughed everywhere around him. He saw his brother Nuzleaf as he attempted to carry away another of his siblings, only to end up collapsing under a burning branch. Everywhere was fire, and where there was fire there was death.

Step by step Seedot retreated deeper and deeper into the den. Huddled against the edge of the den, hoping, praying, begging for something to save them.

He didn’t know how long he stayed there, it felt like an eternity to him. But it all ended with a mournful wail. A howling cry that marked the end of the massacre, like a bell tolled at a funeral. Curiosity warred with fear, and Seedot found himself in an ashen wasteland. Grey dust coated the forest floor, blackened husks of trees remained collapsed and broken, the once towering giants a shadow of their former selves.

The cry went up again, and this time, there was anger.

“How could you!?” The rumbling voice bellowed, “She was our friend!”

“She was what you needed to truly test your skills.”

“We…you promised, you swore.”

“And she swore to see my dream to the end. Look at you, you’ve grown even further, enough to really hurt our enemies, I made sure she kept her promise, I have brought her salvation.”

“I have heard enough!” The Camerupt slammed its hooves into the ground, “You have gone too far, It ends no-ARGH!”

“A shame. Perhaps more conditioning is required. Tabitha, mark this test as a success.”

And then just like that, they were gone. It left Seedot shocked, watching their red coats disappear deeper into the forest. They reigned destruction untold, ripped their home apart, slaughtered his kin…then just left?

Shaky steps slowly emerged from his hiding place. It was all gone. His favorite branch, the shady spot he loved to relax in, the Pecha bush he’d sneak off to when nobody looked. All that remained were the hollow husks of what was once his home. Seedot pushed ahead, past his brothers and sisters, past the few enemies they’d manage to slay. It was only when he reached his mother did he stop.

Her beautiful ivory hair was all but gone, only a few needles left of what was once a long and envious coat. Her arms, which had carried and nurtured him, were broken and skeletal, nearly ghost-like in their appearance. Half of her lower jaw had been blown off, marred black with severe burns. Her eyes had become mush, liquid whites literally trailing down her face like silver tears.

Seedot simply stared, a void blossoming where his heart had been. He wondered why he didn’t cry that night. Perhaps the fire had taken that away from him too. He was the last. The last of his Matriarch’s children. He wondered why he didn’t die, whether he should thank or curse Arceus for his situation. Whatever it was, it left him tired, and alone.

So when a Pokeball was suddenly pressed against his side, he didn’t even bother fighting back.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Setare was her name, his new trainer.

Being in a Pokeball was surreal, like he was floating through space, an eternal rest he could wake from if he decided to, but a place he could not escape from if not granted permission. He should have been mad at that, should have fought tooth and nail to be free, like his brother, like his mother.

Instead he sank, deeper and deeper into his mind until he was nothing but a barely conscious thing.

It ended too soon.

He awoke to a bright sun and the song of Pokémon. Seedot blinked a few times at the sudden change in light, taking in his surroundings. It was a manor, a large one at that. The outer garden was beautiful, with pockets of different flowers and berries dotting the grass in simple patterns.

The Manor was modelled in a strange mix of past and present, green-tiled curved rooftops cast their shade around the grounds, and glass windows glinted in the sun, giving the manor a gem-like radiance.

The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

Crash!

He flinched, memories from the forest causing him to leap away as fast as he could…which put him straight into his new trainer’s arms.

“Vigoroth! Mawile!” Her voice snapped, “What did I say about training today? We have a guest!”

“...She started it.” A Vigoroth grumbled, walking into view.

“Because you kept taking my food.” A Mawile snapped back, smoothing out her outer jaw.

“Kids, I swear.” The woman sighed, before gently placing Seedot back to the floor. She resembled a dying tree, was the first thought that entered his mind as he gazed at her. There was an air of power to her, confident silver eyes with matching hair that trailed down to her back. Her form was lithe, tanned skin that showed years of experience out in the wilds, her hands scratched and calloused, likely from climbing and camping.

But with that power came a sort of…weariness. She looked defeated, there was no fatigue in those confident eyes, her lithe frame was slumped, as if she carried an unknown weight that dragged her shoulders down. Something inside was eating away at her, Seedot knew, something that she could never be free from.

…He liked that. It meant he wasn’t alone.

“My name’s Setare.” She said, smiling down at him, “And this is my home. I raise lost Pokémon here…and well, you seem lost.”

Seedot looked up at her, wondering where she was going with all this. He nodded to the Pokeball she carried at her side, his silent question loud enough for her to understand.

“It was a precaution.” She explained, her smile turning brittle, “I’ve…seen Pokémon just…give up before, and I wanted to talk to you first in case that happened.”

Seedot blinked.

“I want you to stay with us, is what I’m asking you. What you went through…what I saw, nothing I can say will ever be able to heal the hurt you suffered, but I can help you, I can teach you to live again.”

“...how?” He asked.

“It's quite simple.” Mawile answered in her stead, “Just live with us. Eat with us, train with us, find something.”

“Don’t even have to do anything if ya don’t want to.” Vigoroth added, “Some of the ‘Mons around here jus’ chill and shit.”

“Language.”

“Step off, bit-OW!”

“I swear to Arceus.” Setare sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I don’t know what they’ve said to you, but maybe you can stay with us for a while? There are a lot of Pokémon here, you’ll be treated well, have friends, do what you want.”

“...Do I have a choice?”

She seemed to understand his question, likely from the way he looked at the Pokeball again. “If you give me the word, I’ll snap this Pokeball right now and you can walk right out.”

Would she? Was it not a trainer that burned his home? Was it not a human that slaughtered his family? What would he be? A guest? A prisoner? If he left right now, would she really stop him?

He had to know.

“Do it.” He said. “Set me free.”

She seemed to understand, her eyes dimmed just a tad more as Setare nodded. With one clean motion she snapped the ball in half, and Seedot was free. He belonged to no one, had no one.

Satisfied, he trundled forward to the actual manor, intent on exploring its interior. All three stared at him in confusion, before Setare let out a musical laugh, understanding his intent.

“You’re an interesting one, aren’t you?” She grinned, scooping him up as she strode forward, “Come, I’ll introduce you to the others, you’ll have lots of friends, I just know it.”

And that began Seedot’s life at his second home.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For a while, Seedot watched.

If Seedot was counting, he’d guess there’d be around 50 Pokémon in total at the manor, with about 70% of them constantly fighting and training.

“Get yer teeth away from m’head!” Vigoroth howled, as Mawile daintily checked her fingers.

“Maybe you should stop trying to sneak up on me.”

“Wasn’t sneaking! I was just…uh…stealth trainin’.”

“Enough, you two.” A voice said, causing both Pokémon to snap to attention.

An Alakazam floated down the steps of the manor from where Seedot and his companions relaxed. She was Setare’s partner, her right hand and the Matriarch of the clan.

She was also 100x more strict.

“Vigor, 40 laps around the manor then go find Ninjask.”

“Awww, but he always beats me!”

“And that’s why you need to train.”

“Oh nooo~” Mawile snickered, “Are you scared Vig-”

“Mawile.”

“Eep! I mean. Ehem. Yes…Alakazam?”

“Join him with the laps then go find Ursurang.”

The two sulked and left the room, leaving Seedot alone to face the Matriarch’s wrath. He wondered what she’d ask of him, perhaps he’d be asked to leave. It had been a month already and he’d done nothing but watch, following Vigoroth and Mawile around because they seemed to be the only two who would tolerate him.

“As for you,” Alakazam said, her eyes softening, “Take care of my son for the day.”

Seedot blinked. Before looking about the room and seeing no one else.

“Abra.” She sighed, reaching behind her and plucking something–no–someone off her back, “Would you at least try to make friends.”

Abra was a small thing, though Seedot didn’t know if he could say that with how pocket sized he was. Regardless, the yellow creature and his slit-like eyes watched him nervously.

“Where are you going?” Seedot asked, watching Abra continue to clutch at his mother’s finger.

“I have work with Setare.” Was all she replied with, before nudging her son into him, “Go on, I shall return by nightfall.”

And with that she simply teleported out, leaving him alone with a Pokémon that looked like it wanted to be anywhere but here.

“So…do you like the sun?” He asked.

“Yes.”

“Huh?”

“Yes.” Abra replied again, clutching at his arm nervously.

They spent the rest of their day napping under the sun.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

4 months had passed since he’d arrived.

Seedot had spent his time exploring the manor, walking through passageways and relaxing in the garden. Abra had taken him to a few spots as well, his favorite on the perch of the second floor balcony, where the stars were more visible and wind pushed the scent of berries and flowers into a medley of sweetness that always brushed past them.

Abra was the closest thing Seedot could consider a friend, the two were close enough in age that they could talk about things together. Vigoroth and Mawile were good to him, sure, but it felt like they were taking care of him, watching over him instead of being with him because they enjoyed it. Still, he liked them well enough, their antics together more or less bringing Seedot out of whatever funk he was in.

Speaking of…

“NOT THE HAIR!” Mawile screeched, as Vigoroth managed to dodge past her Vice Grip, grabbing her second jaw and hefting her in the air like a flail, before slamming her into the dirt.

“Hah!” Vigoroth cheered, thumping his chest. “Easy victory for young Vigor yessiree, this bad boy’s got the strength and the charm ta knock’em dead. You see that Seedot?”

They were in one of dozen training grounds outside the manor walls, sand and dirt packed loosely in a wide arena as a Drowzee lazily maintained the barrier. Mawile and Vigoroth always seemed to find themselves here, whether through proving themselves in a contest of strength or arguing about one thing or another.

“I think you made her mad.” Seedot laughed, as Abra continued to watch on in awe.

“When is the lil’prick not? Swear it’s always something.”

“Always something!?” Mawile seethed. Ice began to form up around her maw, bringing the temperature of the summer day to a pleasant chill. “You left your chores unfinished and blamed them on me!”

“Well last week I did yours, so what’s the problem?”

“Because now Alakazam thinks I'm some sort of slob! And I will NOT let that slide you buffoon!”

“Oh come on, it’s not that ba-wait. Is that an ice beam? Oh awesome! You learned i-AHHHHHH!”

Seedot and Abra winced as the blast hit him in the centre of his chest, the force sending him flying backwards, shattering the psychic barrier and into a nearby tree. Vigoroth groaned, and even Mawile looked concerned, rushing over as fast as she could.

“Are you okay!?” She asked, checking him over for wounds and brushing away the shards of ice that blemished his fur.

Instead Vigoroth grinned, leaping up and sweeping Mawile into his arms as he spun her round and round.

“Wha-”

“Ya learned it!” He cheered, “How long d’you spend learning that? It had to have been a’month, and damn that power! Look at you!”

“Put me down!” She hollered, despite grinning ear to ear at his praise.

Seedot felt something tap his head. He glanced up to see Abra looking at him nervously. Ah right, they’d talked about this the other day, hadn't they?

“Uh, Mawile.” Seedot interrupted. The sudden realization that others were present had the Pokemon smack Vigor’s forehead, causing him to let go and let her land.

“Ehem. Yes?”

“Abra was asking if he could start training with you.”

“Really?” She looked surprised, glancing at Abra to check.

“Just a little.” Abra muttered.

“Well–of course! What do you want to learn?”

Abra didn’t even get a chance to answer as he was dragged off, glancing back worriedly at Seedot as she began to prattle off about training regiments, attack and special attacks, diet and a hundred other things he could barely keep up with.

“An’ what about you?” Vigoroth asked.

Seedot blinked, “Me?”

“Aye, you. Yer not interested in trainin’?”

“...I’m not strong enough for that.”

Vigoroth let out a bark of laughter, “That’s why we train kiddo! Nobody starts strong.”

“I…I’m…”

“Fear does not exist.” His brother’s harsh words echoed, “There is only victory.”

But fear did exist. It was born through fire and left its mark through death. Fear was the monster that haunted Seedot’s dreams at night, fear was the red man, and his laughter that was tinged in madness. Fear was the Camerupt, it’s body and blood boiling with pure lava. Fear was the flame that burned his home, fear was what took everything away from him. The Matriarch could face the fear, his brothers and sisters faced the fear, they were brave, they were strong.

They were dead.

“Are you scared, when you train?” Seedot asked instead.

“Can’t be.” Vigor replied, as if it was as simple as he made it.

“What does that mean? Why not?”

“Hmmm…need’ta make sure the ones I love are safe, right? Don’t tell Mawile I said that though.”

“And what if she’s not? What if she’s gone? What if everyone is gone? If there’s nobody left, who do you fight for?

There was silence for a while, as Vigoroth thought of a suitable answer. Seedot didn’t know why he sounded so desperate, as if a Pokemon a few years older than him would suddenly have all the answers to life’s questions. But he asked anyways, he trusted his guardian, he wanted someone to give him what he was looking for.

“Heh. Where’s this all coming from?” Vigoroth laughed, “That ain’t happenin’, not when I’m ‘round.”

Seedot left the conversation shortly after that, feeling a tad bit frustrated. What was strength? What was bravery? What was fear? The questions roiled around Seedot’s head as he spent the next few days wandering the Manor. He needed to meditate, to think. The Matriarch always did so whenever she had a question on her mind, and she always came out clearer, he needed to do the same. But no matter how much he thought, no matter how much sunlight he absorbed, nothing came to him.

Everytime he failed to think of an answer, frustration built within him. Everytime frustration built within him, he couldn’t focus clearly enough to think up another answer, which in turn caused more frustration to well up.

He found Mawile the next day, his inability to solve the question causing him to ask her as well.

“Am I scared?” She hummed, as Abra continued to teleport short distances to avoid attacks from a Dwebble. “Hmmm…I don’t suppose I am.”

“Why? What are you so certain about?”

“I can trust those who have my back.” She replied, smiling.

“That’s not enough!” Seedot snapped.

The whole yard went quiet. Dwebble and Abra stopped their spar, glancing at Seedot’s sudden outburst.

“...Seedot?”

“It’s not enough!” Seedot said again, “You can’t say that. You can’t. I had my family, I had the Matriarch, they trusted each other, they trained together, fought together, lived together, they had each other’s backs. But they’re dead! They’re all dead!”

He was babbling, he knew. What he didn’t know was why he was screaming at Mawile, as if it was her fault his people had burned. She didn’t deserve his negativity, his tears, yet here he was, giving it away anyways because he didn’t know what else to do.

“They had my back, they had each other! Why was I scared!? Why did I leave him!? Why couldn’t I help!?”

“Oh, honey…”

Her words snapped him out of his thoughts. He looked at her face, her eyes.

Pity.

Hatred, like a ravenous shadow clawed its way up through his body before he squashed it back down, terror at his own feelings causing him to take a step back.

“I’m sorry.” He said, “I should go. I need to think.”

“Seedot–wait!”

He didn’t, leaping away and towards the manor. Seedot was a small Pokemon, one of the smallest amongst the manor’s denizens, and he’d found a place none would find him. It was a small corner underneath the uppermost roof, where a space had been left from the curve outwards, giving him his perfect spot to hide.

At least, until Setare came back.

“Abra’s been looking all over for you, y’know?” She said, leaning over the balcony railings. It had gotten dark, with Setare and Alakazam returning from their daily outings.

“M’sorry.” Seedot mumbled, looking at the floor away from her.

“Don’t apologize to me, it’s the others you should be saying sorry too from what I’ve heard.”

He said nothing, shame and guilt causing him to huddle deeper and deeper into the corner.

“Do you want to talk? I have Alakazam translating for me, if you don’t mind.” She said, staring at the gardens drift slowly in the breeze. “Why’d you snap at her like that?”

“...I didn’t like the answer I got.”

“Vigor said something about that too, y’know? He thought he said something that wasn’t right, a question he couldn’t answer. That true?”

Seedot nodded.

“Fear, huh?” Setare mused, tapping the railing with a finger. Her gaze seemed to disappear for a while, only returning after she turned her gaze to him. “It’s a bastard, that’s for sure. Can’t ever really get rid of it.”

He blinked, surprised. “You feel scared?”

“All the time.” She smiled, but it was fragile, like a glass jar set on the edge of a table, ready to fall.

“How?”

“...when you have something to lose, and you’ve seen the monsters out there who can take from you…you’ll feel it. The fear. Vigoroth and Mawile…they came as a pair, y’know? Some underground battle arena, juicing their ‘Mons so much you could hardly recognize them. Fighting was all they knew, you had to fight, to bleed, in order to put on a show, but they’d end things before a killing blow was dealt.”

Seedot hopped down onto the railing, looking out at the garden with her. He could see Vigoroth and Mawile chatting as they ate, they looked so calm, so content. They were arena fighters? They’d never told him, or maybe he’d been too wrapped up in his own head to ask.

“Their form of fighting didn’t allow fear, Seedot. They can barely fathom the emotion because it was beaten out of them. But me? I’m just human, I live and breathe like everyone else, I care for the people around me, Alakazam, Abra, the misfits who live here, you. And it’s because I know that I can lose you that I feel scared, like this castle I’ve built around us could fall apart at any second.”

“Then what should I do? How do I fix it?”

“I dunno.” Setare laughed, taking a deep breath of the night air before speaking again, “What I do know though, is that it doesn’t have to be the only thing on your mind. When I’m in a battle, I’m scared. Why? Because Alakazam might be hurt, okay, how do I stop her from getting hurt? I plan, I get her out of there, I take out the enemy before they can get to us.”

“It’s not a solution to fear, I know.” She continued, “But it’s what I’ve found works for me. Maybe you’ll find your own answer one day, but you won’t find it hiding away Seedot, believe me, I’ve tried.”

He stared, looking at Setare. The moon light reflected off her silver hair, giving her an almost ethereal glow as she looked back. Was that pity in her eyes? No…no it was sympathy, he’d gotten it wrong with Mawile then too, hadn’t he?

“I…I need to go apologize.”

“Then off you go kid, good luck.”

“Could I…could I start training with them too?”

Setare’s smile was radiant. “I was hoping you’d say that. I’ll see you in the morning then, bright and early.”

For the first time in a long time, Seedot felt…excited. He didn’t get an answer to his question…but maybe he didn’t need to.

Maybe he just needed to live.