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Just A Story
Chapter 6 - Doubt

Chapter 6 - Doubt

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*

Steve woke, like the last few days, up all sweaty and shacking.

Since his encounter-slash-daydream the other day, he had trouble falling asleep, and apparently, sleeping as well. Because every time he woke up, he felt more exhausted than when he went to bed.

He also had problems with focusing. Every time he would think about something, or do something mundane, he would find himself thinking back to that day, to his encounter-slash-daydream.

And he was slowly but surely getting sick of that, even though only two days have passed.

It was getting on his nerves and it reflected in his mood.

He was pissed, annoyed and sleepy. And it affected his every day behaviour. The first day was still ok, he may have felt like shit but at least he managed to stop thinking about his encounter and he managed to stay calm, except for when he kind of threw yet another dictionary at Julius.

How he even got that dictionary was still a mystery, because it wasn’t his, that one was still lying somewhere in the library probably lost forever.

But that wasn’t as bad as it may sound, because no one claimed the dictionary that he threw, which meant he got a new one.

Strange, he thought, that I got exactly the same one I lost. Maybe I did get it back, and just forgot about it. Wouldn’t be the first time.

But that was it for the day, nothing else happened.

Yesterday, the second day of his insomnia, he was already pissed the moment he woke up.

And to make matters worse, everything that could go wrong went wrong.

He missed his alarm and overslept, his coffee cup handles broke, which resulted in him dropping the hot coffee onto his lap and he missed the bus, so he had to walk.

Unfortunately he didn’t arrive on time and was 10 minutes late, luckily no one cared.

So he sat down and wanted to take out his notebook only to realize that he forgot to bring it with him, just like all his writing material and his laptop.

Sitting there in the lecture, with nothing to write was first of all kind of embarrassing, but mostly really annoying. This never happened to him before, so it came as an even greater shock.

But because he already sat there, he thought it would be a waste to just give up and go home like this, so he took out his phone and used it to take notes, which turned out to be a huge pain in the ass.

He wasn’t one to always play with his phone, or write messages to other people as often.

He didn’t manage to keep up, and so he had to borrow the notes from one of the others. Luckily, he knew a few of the people and they let him take photos of their notes.

Nonetheless, it didn’t help to improve his mood. He was already fed up with at that point, and it wasn’t even 3pm, but he still had another lecture that day.

After he took the photos, he returned home, grabbed everything he needed and went back on campus, only to be late yet again.

At least this time he had all his material and he could note everything down.

The moment he was done with the lectures, he headed into the city to grab something to eat, and made his way back home, yet again.

The whole day he tried, and successfully managed, to avoid as many people as possible.

But the moment he goes out of his way to eat something he had to run into people.

Before he even managed to enter the fast-food restaurant, he met John, Lucy and Alfred Lucy’s brother.

He tried to ignore them and go home. It wasn’t that he wasn’t happy to see them he was just too tired to do anything.

Unfortunately, he didn’t manage to go far, because Lucy spotted him and called out to him.

So, he went to greet and talk a little with them.

It wasn’t as bad as he thought he managed to remain calm and he talked to them a little bit and got to eat something.

After they were done eating, he stood up and went home, saying that he had to study.

Lucy, the always attentive and worry head, asked him just before he left if everything was ok, because he looked a little bit off.

When he tried to brush her off, her older brother, Alfred, also voiced his concern.

And of this wasn’t enough, even John had to ask him.

Normally he wouldn’t have minded and just told them that he was well, but because he was so exhausted he, in a more annoyed voice than necessary, told them that he was fine and left.

After he got home he felt a little bit bad but ultimately decided to apologize after he got a good night's rest. So he put on his pajama and went to sleep.

Which brings us to the here and now, Friday morning, and he was sleepy and tired.

But that wouldn’t stop him, because today was finally his long awaited date with Jen.

And nothing would stop him from enjoying that. Today was going to be a great day, no doubt about it.

So he got up from the bed, took a light grey pullover, blue jeans and underwear out of the closet and went to the bathroom.

After the shower he ate some breakfast, drank a coffee and spent the rest of the time idle, until he had to leave the flat for his lecture.

Luckily Fridays he only had one lecture, unfortunately it was history. He didn’t hate history quit the opposite in fact, he found history really interesting and enjoyable, just not this specific lecture.

It was a lecture about economic history during the early 20th century, and for fucks sake was the topic, and by default the lecture, boring.

If only he had managed to get into his preferred lecture, the history of ancient Egypt, but that one was so popular that he it was full after the first day you could register for it.

So now he had to sit through this.

“Many say that globalization started after the Second World War but that’s not entirely true. A few years before the First World War, at the end of the 19th century, there were already efforts in establishing trade routes on a global scale. This trade, and also traveling, routes were realized via a net of trains. Especially in Europe, this would lead to something called a ‘Hidden Integration’, but later more. For now we concentrated on the first try of globalization. One thing that hints at the first globalization would be the international ‘Gold standard’ that was agreed on in the early 20th century.”

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

And so on and so forth.

Normally he wouldn’t mind listening to this, albeit it was boring and hard to sit through, he still found it quite interesting.

But not today. Today he was too tired to pay any attention, and he was really close to falling asleep.

He had to muster up all of his willpower to not doze off.

But his willpower was just not enough, and so it happened that after 10 minutes of listening, he fell asleep and missed the rest of the lecture.

.

..

Darkness

Darkness everywhere

There was no escape

Red eyes

Horns

Claws

Blood

Death

Prey

Hunter

Dread

Fear

And darkness

Darkness and a voice

“YoU aRe NoT sAfE”

A savage smile

“rUn AlL yOu WaNt”

Hands clasping his neck

“I wIlL cOmE fOr YoU”

A laught

And Darkness

.

..

“Yo, you ok?” someone shock his shoulder and asked.

“Huh? What?” confused and not sure what was going on Steve woke up and looked around.

His eyes adjusting and his brain trying to readjust itself, it took him some time before he managed to spot the person who asked him. Before him stood one of his fellow students, Karl or something was his name.

“I asked if you are ok.” Karl? Asked again.

“Yeah, no sure, ok yeah, I am ok.” Was all he managed to say. Before Karl? (or was his name Karsten?) could bother Steve more he decided to get up, grab his things and leave.

With jacket under his left arm and his back bag in his right hand he made his way to the nearest bathroom to splash some water in his face.

Maybe that would cool him off a little bit.

When he finally reached the bathroom and looked in the mirror, he nearly jumped at what he saw.

His eyes had huge bags under them, his cheeks were sunken in and he was completely covered in sweat. And to top it all of he could swear that some of his hair started to, not really turn grey, but at least lose some of its colour.

All in all, he looked pretty horrendous.

He hadn’t noticed how great the toll was the last two days of insomnia had truly taken on him.

But that all couldn’t have been just from the last few days, no one looks that bad after just a few sleepless nights.

What was going on?

And why didn’t he notice it earlier?

Just this morning he looked in the mirror, and he didn’t look anything like that.

Or did he?

He couldn’t really remember.

Had he looked in the mirror today?

Yeah, yeah, he had.

He was sure of it.

But he also wasn’t.

Maybe today was one of these days where he didn’t look in the mirror and just left.

But that would be absurd. Ever since he got together with Jenny, he made sure to look at least somewhat presentable.

That, of course, included looking every day in the mirror and making his hair a little bit.

Did he do his hair today?

He… he…. Did he?

No, he didn’t.

Again, he looked intensive into the mirror.

What was wrong with him?

Why was he so out of it? He normally is never like that.

Just because he had one bad encounter, no daydream, he was losing his shit.

That can’t be right. He isn’t the sort of guy to loss his shit just because he had a bad dream. That wasn’t like him.

He turned the water on and held his head under the cold water, trying to drown all his worries.

Luckily for him, few visited the toilets on the campus, which meant he wasn’t really blocking any who also needed to use the water. The few who went to the toilet just looked at him curiously and went about their way, not to surprise about seeing someone with the head under the water.

When you are in university you get used to people trying to deal with their stress, and what Steve did was one of the more harmless ways to deal with it.

After his cold shower, Steve decided to go to the cafeteria to get some coffee and a light snack, he could really use one.

A coffee, that was.

He wasn’t all that hungry, but he decided it wouldn’t hurt to eat something, even if it was only to regain some energy.

On his way to the cafeteria, he saw a few students here and there, but not too many, mainly because now was usually either the time some had lectures, were preparing for one, or were finished with all they lecture for the week and were either chilling at home or out in the city, planning they next drinking tour.

Normally he would also be with his friends' group and discuss their weekend, but today he had a date with Jenny, and he already cancelled all his plans for the weekend, knowing that it would be some time before they could spend time together.

But that was for later right now he wanted nothing more than a coffee. That should, hopefully, do the trick and keep him awake.

And maybe clear his head as well.

The water did help him, somewhat, but he still felt quite tired and he had trouble staying awake, let alone concentrate.

But the more he walked the more he felt like he was being watched. So, he stopped and turned around, but no one was there. He looked to his left, again no one, and then to his right, also nothing.

He resumed his short trip.

But that nagging feeling of being watched wouldn’t leave him, so he, again, stopped and looked around, only to come, again, up with nothing.

Now he felt uncertain, was he being watched, or was he slowly losing his mind.

He started to walk a little bit faster, until he felt again eyes upon him.

And, again, he increased his speed.

And again, feeling watched, followed by an increase in speed.

This continued until he was sprinting at full speed towards his destination.

A trip that would normally take him about 15 minutes, finished in just a little bit over 5 minutes.

If he wasn’t so exhausted and tired, he would have probably patted himself on the back. But now was not the time for that. Just after arriving at the cafeteria, he stopped, and again, looked around.

But now he didn’t feel any eyes on him, besides the curious glances from other students who were also in the cafeteria.

With short and heavy breath, he made his way to the counter, still looking nervously around, and lined up in the queue.

He couldn’t stand still in the queue he was moving his feet back and forth, taking a step forward and then backwards all while he was nervously looking around.

Something wasn’t right he just didn’t know what.

He was nervous and restless, ready to take flight at any given moment.

Why was it like that?

This was the first time ever he felt like that.

What was going on? Why was he this scared?

Wait! Scarred? Am I scarred? Why would I be scarred? What is going on with me? I can’t be scarred! There is nothing to be scarred about. I just had a bad dream noting more. That’s right, calm down. Deep breath in, hold for a few seconds, and deep breath out. That’s right. And again.

“Haaaaaaaaaah” Pause “Huuuuuuuuuuuuh”

That’s right. Calm down.

There is nothing to be afraid of. I heard insomnia can to that to people. Make them paranoid, making them loss grab of reality. After I get my coffee and a sandwich, I will enjoy my meal and relax. That’s right. I am just too stressed at the moment, with the exams coming up and whatnot. I ju-

“And what can I get you?” Before he could finish his thoughts, he was interrupted by the lunch lady.

Without noticing it he was already at the head of the queue and the next to order. So, he quickly gathered himself and started to order.

“Ähhmm, I take a coffee with some sugar, no milk, and one sandwich, please.”

“Ok, is that all?”

“Yeah. Yes, that would be all.”

“Ok, that would be 3.50€.”

“Perfect, here.”

“Thanks please wait a little a second, while the coffee is prepared.”

“Sure. Thanks.”

After a few moments he had his coffee and sandwich in hand and sat down at an empty table.

He fished his smart phone out of his pocket, put in earphones and played some music, trying to relax and forget all his troubles.

From time to time he would look around, checking if someone was watching him.

A few sips from his coffee and a bite from the sandwich helped him to relax a little bit, and calm down. Not much, but better than nothing.

And because he was in no hurry, at least not for a few hours, he decided to spend the rest of the morning, and maybe even noon, in the cafeteria to relax.

He only left the cafeteria two hours before his date with Jenny, wanting to make sure that when he got home, he still had some time to take a shower and make himself presentable.

When he left, he still had this nagging feeling in the back of his head, but for some reason the stay in the cafeteria had calmed him down and he was feeling better than he had in the last two days.

Maybe he really was just too stressed lately and a few hours away from everything was all he needed to calm down.