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Maybe it was better to wake him up, though.
“Truthfully, I changed my mind,” I said before he could answer. “We got ambushed on the road yesterday, and he was almost certainly related to that. So I have a new proposal.”
He gestured for me to keep going.
“So, my idea is that we blindfold him and wake him up, then we give him some water so he can get his voice out. After that, we interrogate him and if he doesn't answer, we beat him up until he spits out everything he knows. When we are finished, we knock him out and leave him a waterskin and some food; and a potion too since you are feeling so generous.” In my unbiased opinion, this was the best plan ever created by human mind.
It was a pity we couldn’t take that extremely valuable coin, but I was sure Zeph would object.
“Then we go on our way. What do you say?” I asked, sure he would agree.
“That’s the most disturbing, cruel, and stupid plan I ever heard. I am not an outlaw, and my honor will not allow me to act in such a manner,” he said, offended.
That's the most ridiculous, funny, and, at the same time, offensive thing I heard from him until now.
“Hey, I didn’t say we kill him! It’s just a beating!" I said, trying to reign in my laughter and look serious. "And what’s so stupid, huh?! We’d even keep him alive like you wanted!”
I don’t think my voice came out serious enough.
“That’s not saving, that’s just violence and a slow death. How long do you think he would last if we just gave him a waterskin and some food? He’s not walking on the road, so how long do you think it would take for him to reach a village? He doesn’t even have a map or a bag.” He really wasn’t bending at all.
Such an uptight guy.
“You said I could decide in case he was trouble, and he is, so it should be my turn to decide, no?” I said, since I saw, I couldn’t win the argument.
“No. I said we should hear him out first and then if he was trouble you could decide,” he said, stubborn. “Besides, he may be useful. If you think about it, even if I brought you problems, didn’t I also help you with that ambush? If you didn’t know about it, you could have been easily killed. Don’t deny it.”
I think that if I smash a rock on his head, it would be the rock that breaks.
“Fine, fine. We’ll have it your way. But remember your words.” Because I was surely not going to let it go for a third time.
Zeph resealed the letter, and we put everything where it was before.
I splashed some water on his face, and he woke up spluttering.
“W-what?!” he muttered in a cracked voice, looking at us. His eyes were unfocused, and he probably wasn’t quite there with his head.
After that, Zeph made him drink a potion. It worked right away.
“Damn, that works fast,” I said, looking at the face returning to a rosy color and the cracked lips healing.
“It’s top-quality. The only ones I have,” he said as the guy’s eyes regained his clarity.
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“W-what?!” Repeated in a loud voice, the badly dressed noble.
“Who are you guys?!”, he shouted as he registered our presence. He dragged himself back until he touched a rock. “I have nothing on me! I’m Isorn of the Thorne Family! You can’t touch me!…”
He kept going and going while trembling, before we could even say anything.
Thorne… I heard that somewhere.
“… You will get caught if you harm me!…”
His voice was becoming shriller by the minute as he kept prattling on how we should stay away from him, how we would die if we touched him, and so on. It was getting on my nerves.
Zeph was also looking at him, stupefied. It made me want to laugh despite my annoyance.
“… My mother is the First Oligarch! She’ll have your head!…”
Oh! He’s the son of the bitch? Nice to know.
My hands were itching now.
It seems Zeph got tired of listening too, since he spoke up.
“Lord Isorn, I beg you to calm down. We are not robbers, and we mean you no harm. I am the son of a merchant that operated in the capital, and these are my adoptive older brother and my younger sister. We are traveling towards Caldris, and we chanced upon you lying on the ground. Please rest assured,” he said with a bow at the end.
The annoying guy seemed to realize we were trying to help him as Zeph was talking, a look of realization spreading through his face.
“Oh, why didn’t you say so before?!” he took a few breaths, while his trembling slowly subsided.
Maybe he took too many breaths, though, since he became full of air all of a sudden.
“Dammit. You should apologize for scaring me so much. You commoners have no manners,” he spitted out as he got up.
The itch got stronger.
“We apologize, Lord Isorn,” said Zeph, bowing again.
I couldn’t catch any sort of emotion from his voice. He was acting quite well.
“Could we ask what brought you to such a dire situation, my Lord? I’m sure a man of your station wouldn’t end up in such a situation in normal circumstances,” he asked in a humble tone.
The idiotic noble huffed.
“Those damned brigands, that’s what caused this! I shouldn’t have listened to my mother! Being grounded in my mansion was so much better than this! No one would notice if you’re absent, she says! Be useful for once, like your brothers! Always everything about my brothers!…” he started, derailing the conversation.
Zeph had to gently guide him to what we wanted to know every time the topic went off. He was someone who really liked to hear himself talk, and he really had to vent right now by telling us all his misfortunes.
After listening for some time, what I concluded was that he was a lost cause, both as a noble and as a human being. His most outstanding achievement was probably the number of maids he got on his bed, or the number of bottles he could drink in one sitting.
Other than that, he also told us that his convoy was attacked on the road around three weeks ago.
From what he said, they held on for weeks hoping that someone would notice the situation and send aid, while the Mages they employed created some sort of low barricade around their camping spot.
Since they were at their limit, and they didn’t see anyone coming, they decided to employ a tactic to help this bloody idiot escape while they drew attention for as long as they could.
From what I could gather from his disconnected recounting, a Mage created a small chamber underground to hide him, and then they tried to run with the carriages to the next village.
It seems they could leave him because no one would notice his absence.
I almost laughed when he irately said they gave him the same excuse his mother gave him.
It seems that he used to stay in the carriage all the time during the trip because he hated the hot wind and dust, and later because he was too scared by the attacks to go out.
They also left him a guard with a backpack, but he was killed trying to divert a group of bandits coming back on the road while he was probably hiding behind a rock or something. He wasn't telling it right, and that's what I thought he did.
After that, he got away from the road in fear of getting found out, hoping to find a village or someone. Then we found him.
This may be the most idiotic story I ever heard about. He was also enough of a fool to make me believe it.
“So, what were you carrying that was so important to get attacked by such a big band of bandits?” I asked, curious to see what he would say. He seemed too stupid to come up with a fake story, but who knew?
“That’s none of your concern, commoner,” he answered, disdainfully. “What matters now is that you bring me back home as fast as possible. I’d get my punishment, but it’s much better than this.”
I raised my brows. “We are traveling to Caldris, not to the capital.”
He huffed. “You don’t have the option to refuse. And give me some wine. You have some, right? I bet it’s some cheap thing you commoners like to drink, but I’ll lower myself just this once. This whole thing made me crave alcohol. Also, get me out of this damned sun.”
I clenched my hands as I turned to Zeph.
“My way, right?” I asked, not really asking.
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