Chapter One
“…and so that’s what I had to deal with yesterday.” I said into the microphone.
I hadn’t actually told any of my subscribers that I had developed superspeed, but I at least vented about the registration process.
Well… I say subscribers… I only had like 3 actual subscribers, and only one of them was watching at the moment. There were about 10-20 people watching my stream at any one time, but it rotated a lot. Some of the people were coming over from my art website to see what I was up to, and then leaving after half an hour or so.
Most of them were other starving artists who couldn’t afford to subscribe anyway. I don’t really know how it happened, but my stream ended up becoming the de facto hang-out spot for a group of us.
My one subscriber that happened to be watching wasn’t an artist I don’t think, but they did come up with a lot of fun ideas. She never really talked about herself in chat, but who could blame her lol. I do know that she lives somewhere in the same megabuilding as me, because we frequent the same food joints, but it’s not like that really narrowed it down lol.
I tease her about it sometimes, coming up with wild guesses about what her job is. “You’re an astronaut!” I’d say, or “You’re a cowl! and you’re hiding incognito as a barista.” She was fun to hang around, because she’d always play into it. I didn’t ever stream with face-cam on, so she would “retaliate” to my teasing by coming up with funny things I could be.
“So, since yesterday was such a disaster, I’ve decided that today is an all-day stream!” I declared confidently.
> feminineTunaFish: hell ye
> LOLgetrekt42069: lets goooooooooooo
> cannibalistic apple pie: I'll have to log off in an hour, but you have me until then. =)
> 💜sparkles_and_kittens💜: ive gotta get back to work in a bit, but ill b happy to stay in stream to listen while i work <3
> DJ Chaînes: comme toujours, cannibal est le premier à nous quitter. quel traitre !1
> LOLgetrekt42069: lol
> cannibalistic apple pie: w a t
> feminineTunaFish: oml chains speakn martian again.
“Chaînesさん 、ここにいる人は全員フランス語が話せるわけではありませんよ。英語または日本語で話してください lol。”2 I told him.
> narwhalswimmnintheocean has joined the chat.
> DJ Chaînes: but then how would i send cryptic messages to you and 69? :D
> 💜sparkles_and_kittens💜: hey bestie!
> feminineTunaFish: narwhal has arived. :3
> narwhalswimmnintheocean: >:D
> cannibalistic apple pie: ME?! A TRAITOR!???? WYM!!
> 💜sparkles_and_kittens💜: PFFFFFFFFF
> feminineTunaFish: @[cannibalistic apple pie] pat pat
> narwhalswimmnintheocean: 何を見逃したんですか？ 3
> DJ Chaînes: I refuse to elaborate
> 💜sparkles_and_kittens💜: OML chains u’re killin me
> narwhalswimmnintheocean: WWWWWWWWWWW4
“LOL.” I said, as I burst out laughing.
These really are my people. 28 billion people on this planet, but the 10 or so regulars to my stream were my people, and I wouldn’t trade them for the world.
> cannibalistic apple pie: I will have my revenge
> cannibalistic apple pie has left the chat.
> cannibalistic apple pie has joined the chat.
> cannibalistic apple pie: I have decided against getting revenge. is too cold outside
> LOLgetrekt42069: so u havent told us yet, what powers did you get?
> DJ Chaînes: @[cannibalistic apple pie] fite me you coward
> cannibalistic apple pie: yeah! tel us!
> cannibalistic apple pie: @[DJ Chaînes] NO. BAD TOUCH
> narwhalswimmnintheocean: 待って！ 誰かが超能力を手に入れた！？ 誰ですか？？ 5
> 💜sparkles_and_kittens💜: i bet she’s always had superpwoers. She’s a shapeshifter :3
“Ah, well it’s not like I’m going to become a cape or anything. I’ll probably just hang around my house like always. I uh…” I thought for a moment… I really didn’t want to tell them I got superspeed. It was one of the more useful powers and they’d totally try to get me to fight crime or something. So I came up with an excuse. “I got the ability to draw fast.”
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“The ability to draw fast?” I say to myself. “What an oddly specific superpower.”
One of my favorite small streamers was demonstrating her new superpowers. It appears that she literally got the ability to draw fast. as soon as she told chat, we demanded she show us what she meant. It was like watching one of her art time-lapses but in real-time.
“What’d you say?” my coworker asks me.
“Nothing.” I respond. “Just talking to myself.”
“Suuuuure you are.” they drawled. “and what would your uncle think if I told him that you were “talking to yourself” on the job?” they smirked at me.
“あら、しつこいな。He’d probably tell you to stop gossiping like a school kid and get back to work.”6 I quipped back. My uncle didn’t care if we listened to music or streams while working, as long as we got the work done.
The newbie was one of those prim and proper do it right kind of people, and they were still having trouble adapting to the culture of this place. The job they had before this was in one of the megastores, so it made sense that they didn’t quite get the relaxed nature of the job here. I gave it a month before they either quit or gave up.
They just gave me a bit of side-eye and went back to what they were doing.
And so, I got back to organizing the window display. We had recently got in a shipment of Cyberjunky singles. The idiots who managed that band were horrible at marketing, but the music was excellent so we did our best to make up for their deficiencies.
The case of this particular batch of CDs was just a random dude standing. I’d say he was A-posing but I doubt they know what that means. So, instead of just putting them on the rack as-is, we have been told to switch out the case art with something my uncle bought online.
If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.
He actually bought this art from the streamer I was currently watching: JtoJ. When I told my uncle about her, he was totally shocked at the quality of her work. Apparently he’s found something of a kindred spirit in the artist, though he.. well really we.. are definitely in the minority. JtoJ’s art was always… kind of existential. I’d almost call it creepy, but it has a certain flair to it. I liked it.
“And now she can make as much of it as she wants, as fast as she wants.” I chuckled to myself. “Good.”
Suddenly, I heard a horrible snapping sound.
“OH SHIT.” I heard through my headphones; something must have happened, so I looked at stream.
It looked fairly normal, except there was a huge streak across the page with her art on it.
This stream, she was working on a sort-of Cthulhu-esque eldritch horror with cybernetic implants.
“Nooooooooooo nonononono. Shitshitshitshitshit.” she was clearly freaking out.
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> DJ Chaînes: what is happen
> narwhalswimmnintheocean: 大丈夫かよ？JJさん？7
> LOLgetrekt42069: that was a loud snap. did something break?
“MY TABLET. I BROKE IT.” I was freaking the absolute fuck out.
It was probably a bad idea in hindsight… BUT THIS WAS TOO MUCH. TvT
I decided to show off a bit by drawing super fast. For the most part, I was completely successful. I had done like a day’s work in a few minutes.
But woe is fucking me, the terrible cost was too damn high. My hand slipped, and I dragged the stylus across the tablet with way too much force. This kind of thing happened sometimes, it wasn’t too big a deal normally, I’d just hit the undo button… but this time, because of my newfound speed, there was a deep gash in the tablet where I had drawn across. The whole surface of the tablet snapped in twain like my hopes and dreams.
> feminineTunaFish: @[JtoJ] pat pat
> LOLgetrekt42069: @[JtoJ] pat pat
> cannibalistic apple pie: @[JtoJ] pat pat
> narwhalswimmnintheocean: @[JtoJ] パトパト 8
> DJ Chaînes: @[JtoJ] pat pat
> cannibalistic apple pie: @[JtoJ] pat pat?
> 💜sparkles_and_kittens💜: @[JtoJ] pat pat
“NOOOOOOO” I screamed into the uncaring void.
*Bang* *bang* “Shut it down there, I’m trying to sleep.” The uncaring void, or rather my upstairs neighbor, yelled back.
I was ready to go full Vader on this dood… but it wasn’t worth it.
“Well, so much for an all-day stream guys.” I lamented. “I’m going to have to buy a new tablet before we can continue.” I definitely did not have the money for a new tablet, but maybe I could find an old but not-as-broken™ one at the junk yard.
> feminineTunaFish: OOF well i guess I’ll see yalls later
> LOLgetrekt42069: oh well. let me know later if i can help with the tablet, i know where to get the good stuff.
> cannibalistic apple pie: im honestly still confused about what happened :D
> narwhalswimmnintheocean: @[cannibalistic apple pie] タブレットをサノスがスナップしたらしいですよ。9
> feminineTunaFish has left the chat.
> cannibalistic apple pie: well yeah but like, how?
> 💜sparkles_and_kittens💜: @[JtoJ] pat pat x2
> DJ Chaînes: I’d wager her newfound art skills come with a slight disadvantage.
> 💜sparkles_and_kittens💜: she probably literally snapped it in half, like with how fast she was going
> cannibalistic apple pie: ohhhhhhhhh that makes sense
“Sorry, I’m going to have to stop the stream here. I have to go drown my sorrows in alcohol and gummybears or something.” I told them. “But don’t worry, I’ll be back soon.”
> LOLgetrekt42069: yay gummy bears!
> narwhalswimmnintheocean: サヨナラ～～10
> DJ Chaînes: You can do it, JJ!
> cannibalistic apple pie: good luck on finding a new tablet!
> 💜sparkles_and_kittens💜: stay safe <3
I said my final goodbyes to them and closed my stream.
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1“DJ Chains: as always, cannibal is the first to leave us. such a traitor!”
2“Chains, not everyone here speaks French. Please speak English or Japanese lol.”
3“What I miss?”
4Japanese equivalent to LOL.
5“Hold up! Someone got superpowers!? Who??”
6Literally: “Oh, you’re persistent.”, but in context it gives off a feeling more like: “Oh shush, you.”
7“Are you okay? JJ?”
8“pat pat”
9Literally: “It seems that Thanos snapped the tablet.”, but in context: “She Thanos snapped her tablet, apparently.”
10“Goodbye~!!”