Walking along the main road in the village plaza, I was headed towards the west end of the village. Namba had told me the so called village’s potions expert was there. I didn’t really understand the name they gave him but I’ll just call him the alchemist from now on.

It didn’t take long before I arrived in front of a modest size building with blue walls and red stone lining the sides. It had engravings of different herbs along the wall which gave it an exquisite look as if you were entering an old temple of sorts. I was still surprised by the level of artistic value the people of this village appreciated in their constructs, well those who could afford it anyways since my bunker of a home sure as hell didn’t have any of that fancy-ness.

Entering the shop, I hear chimes going off in a smooth rhythm which felt pleasant to hear. As I entered I noticed a weird musky scent like that of a garden with some manure mixed in but the manure comes and goes and you aren’t entirely sure if it’s actually shit in there. It was unique to say the least. The counters were all made of finely engraved wood with different vials available for purchase and a few books off to the side and sitting at the very front over a large counter was a snoring geezer.

“…”

Even with me entering the snoring geezer didn’t wake up to greet me or anything. ‘These people are pretty carefree, eh?’ I thought as I started looking around the shop. I had no idea what these potions did but there were little pieces of paper with some notes written on them for each. I had to have my god slime third eye look at them individually as I still hadn’t learned to read yet.

This whole language barrier was really starting to become a problem. I wasn’t really interested in reading much as even Phoenix hadn’t heard of certain of the herbs mixed in so it couldn’t really understand the quality and efficiency of these potions.

“Hello? Are you Alfur?”

The old man slowly opened his eyes and shot me a look that just clearly expressed his dissatisfaction at having me bother his “grand nap” before slowly closing them again.

“…”

‘This bastard old goat, what the hell is it with this place? Are all the shopkeepers’ old stooge-y pricks? Is this what is needed to own a shop in this village? Did you go to school to be taught how to be a complete asshole as your final test for certification? Goddamn old goats’ My mental frustration became evident and just when I was about to start accusing this place of having some horrible customer service…

“Yes, I am Alfur of Arils.” He answered me in a deep and aged voice.

“Hmpfh, I see.” I couldn’t hold back my contempt “I need a strengthening agent for physical, energetic or mental improvements.” I replied slightly snobbishly because screw this old geezer, that’s why.

He once again set off to slowly open his eyes as if they were the doors to the very first garage ever with a speed of 100meters per hour.

“Hmmm.”

This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

1 minute passes as I wait for his reply.

2 minutes pass.

Another goddamn minute passes.

“LISTEN HERE YOU OLD GOAT! I JUST WANT A POTION!” I lost it.

He finally got up and snorted. “Hmpf! How dare you behave so rudely, I was simply thinking of which potions to offer you based on your request!”

I clearly did not believe this geezer. “ Tsk, Tsk. Yeah, as if! I bet you were just trying to look mysterious to try and up the prices of your potions just because I’m new to the place! No shopkeeper takes more than a minute to remember his own merchandise!”

I knew that maybe I was going too far but man do I hate these scheming old foxes.

“For all I know old man, you were probably falling asleep again! You should really pass on the business to someone younger so that you can go sleep in peace, you know!?”

I don’t know why but this had to be said, I just had to say it. Namba was messing with me but at least I got what I wanted, this old man is just playing the senile old man to screw with me and he’s Namba’s friend so screw him even more!

“Young man, to say such things to such an experienced potion maker such as myself.” He sneered. “ I doubt you would even know how to properly use my potions so I’d recommend you leave as I won’t be selling to you.”

‘Oh the bastard wants to play hard to get huh? Two can play at this.’ My ego resurfaced with some brilliant words and a plan.

“You’re right!”

This shocked the old man slightly as he didn’t expect me to just agree to that.

“Old man, I don’t think I should try drinking potions made by such an aged senile old goat, I rather like living and wouldn’t want to waste my precious years by dying from a potion you made while half-asleep.”

The old man turned livid, his breathing became slightly ragged and I could swear he was an inch away from throwing some potions at me which I noticed but I wasn’t going to back down to this old fool instead I was going to be independent, screw these shopkeepers.

“Old goat, nonetheless, I haven’t come here to waste my time. I will just be purchasing these books instead!” I throw down three books all related to basics of potion crafting that the old man was selling in the corner.

The old man looked at what I put down and his sneer became wider. “Young folks these days truly do not know how high the sky is. You think just by buying these potion making books that you would be able to make concoctions that are better than mine? Ha! I haven’t heard a funnier joke since I opened this store!”

“Look here you old goat, you see I’d rather trust the potions I make by my own hand than trust my life with whatever crap you made. It’s the safer option anyways! How much?”

“Tsk tsk, to think after all these years I have poured into developing my potion making to this degree some ignorant youth dares to mock my craft. Well, I am going to love to see how you blow yourself up since you’re “so intelligent” that you don’t need my potions. Bahahahaha. These books are worth 35 earth shards for the lot. Is that something you can even afford you little brat or you going to need to run to mommy for money?”

‘This savage old man, 35 earth shard??? The fuck kind of books are these, were they written by the king of the country or something? Bastard.’

“Say whatever you want geezer, I ain’t falling for it. 35 Earth shards? Bah, pocket change.”

I took out the 35 shards, threw them into a small pouch and just slammed it onto the table. Grabbing the books, I left without even turning back.

“Watch me you old goat.” I muttered as I left the store.

Sitting back down on his seat, Alfur simply looked at the back of young tanned man as he walked out the doors. “ Sigh, patience is a skill worth learning kid. Rashness is the exact opposite of what you need to learn potion making. Well, screw it. Brat needs to learn some manners, maybe if he comes begging me for assistance I might, just might help him out with a large fee to boot, hehe…hehehehehe.” A sinister smile joined his lips as he continued staring at his shop door.

Walking back to towards the central district, I started craving some food and considering I still had a bit of earth shards left, I figured I could splurge a little.

I went on to try some delicacies that one of the street stalls was advertising. They were selling some sort of balls of meat in a bowl with some sauce and toothpick to eat with. Ordering me two bowls, one for me and one for the kid back home. I started munching on them while heading back towards my war bunker.

To my delight, the balls of meat were extremely delicious; they were a mix of sweet and sour with tender meat that tasted like chicken and it just melted in my mouth with a mild sauce that felt like honey and gravy.

“Rikurn, you little shit. You better appreciate what I bring back. These things cost me 2 earth shards.” I mumbled as I casually ate the meatballs while struggling to find my way back home.

“Phoenix, sorry buddy, I didn’t know why but that old geezer just made me mad with his lazy reaction, I guess I’m too used to the prompt assistance that I used to get back home…”

“Hehe, it’s alright, at least you were smart enough to get us the books which works out a lot better for us in the long run because if we learn to make potions, we could depend on ourselves!”

“Haha, I knew you would understand! Unlike some old geezer, my Phoenix is so amazing!”

“Giggles”

Joking with Phoenix brought my mood back up, and I noticed Phoenix really loves compliments as it always wiggles in happiness whenever I make them, it really is adorable in a weird, slime attached to your brain kind of way…