Hey guys, name’s Lee. Short story short, I’ve put my hands on a game y’all be interested on. “Put your hands on? Was it that hard?” Yeah, spare me the details, but if I can summarize it, it’s an illegal game that I’ve received through shady works and dark connections. But how exactly is a whole ‘nother story, maybe I’ll share with y’all later.
Sigh… Somewhat I ended up talking a bit, so let’s focus: it’s called Junk EVO., a VRMOBA (Virtual Reality Multiplayer Online Battle Arena) that’s centered on deathmatches – real death, no tricks. There is no practice mode, no story mode, no free mode, no open-world, no nothing. Fuck! There’s not even a goddamn tutorial!
Jokes on you, there’s actually a fucking encyclopedia of a guide that comes along, but I won’t explain any boring technical shit if there’s a choice.
So what’s this game all about? Like I said it’s a MOBA, and its premise is really simple. After you wear the machine, you’ll get to the login screen. Afterwards, just answer a series of random questions to validate your entry (if you miss even one of the answers, the game will shut down and the machine will cease functioning), then you’ll be led straight to the character panel to customize it.
During customization you can literally set everything, starting from your nickname (interchangeable), to your looks and, of course, your abilities. Yes, you can fully customize your abilities, but they will be ranked in power so you don’t get a busted crazy level 1 character (who clearly has a weak power cap, just to clarify).
After you’re done customizing, you’ll be given a list of all the servers. Choose a server and, if the system accepts it, you’ll be pitted against one plus characters to bust down. Through defeating them you get your beloved exp. points and level up to become the scariest mofo in the hood.
Winning even one battle will get you junk coins, which you can spend however the hell you want (I mean it, they can be converted into real cash), but I avoid spending too much at a time since that would be way too suspicious. I’d rather throw it away than become a target.
Now you must be thinking something among the lines “fuck, that’s crazy” or “man, you’re a goddamn idiot” or maybe “I don’t like where this is going”, but I’m thinking some of you are like “wow, you must be a badass in this game, I mean, why would you play it otherwise?”
Heck no, I’ve just finished answering the questionnaire, but that guide explains everything real nice for those that don’t get zombie mode from reading 200 words on a school’s classic handbook.
And now we’ve reached the present. So what shall be my name? Hmm, I think something funny to lighten up the mood will be great! So I’ll be Protein Junkie for the time being… Oh, now I get to customize the character, thing is I really like those girl games on browser where you just put clothes on a famous person and make then look good – or just completely ruin them cuz in your mind they deserve it, well that’s fine too.
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I already know that the heavier customizations need junk coins to be unlocked, so until I can afford them I’ll make it simpler. Let’s change it to female, make the girl taller, add some screws here and there, let some drool fall down her mouth, stupid low eyelids, faint green skin, stitches… Oh yeah, wonder if that’s what doctor Frank thought when he gave life to that monster.
That’s a disgustingly sexy monster, I’d have a boner myself if I didn’t have her for a daughter.
Abilities, man I’m so thrilled! There are so many things passing through my mind, I can’t really decide on my skills doe. I’d like to add some psycho shit on my skills but they would be too darn powerful or just irrelevant in short fights, which is what the first matches are all about – so I’ll just settle for okay skills. After all, we only start with the power cap of two thousands.
Now I know how to use an eraser: Your hands completely delete anything that touches them (10000 P)
Holy, that’s five times my cap. I’ll add some restrictions and make it my only ability – what, you must have figured I like simple stuff.
1. Condition: Only your fingertips can delete (-9000 P)
Still got myself a thousand, so I’ll take whatever makes erasing easier.
Can't afford time-stop, huh: You are gifted with superior reflexes (1000 P)
Guess that’ll do. There is more to creating abilities, but I’ll show it to you in time due. Right now I really feel like playing a match.
I’ve skimmed through the servers and found an interesting one: Fresh Blood [1v1]. Ayyy, let’s hit the trigger button: play! I’m so excited I can’t contain myself, man my eyes are glazed!
Match found. 2:00
It’s fast, really fast. In a glimpse I’ve been transferred to the room, and the two minutes countdown is just about alright for me to stare in awe at the frost ring’s structure. I’ve seen the image on the guide, but the real thing is all the more beautiful!
This is the first map, called Frost Ring. Typical closed map to hold out deathmatches, both players stand tall on this glass ice platform surrounded by spikes of ice coming from all directions. To make things more interesting, a fire’s lit to make the ice melt, reducing the platform’s radius and making it both slippery and thin.
No time limit but if it takes too long then noobs like me will die 100%.
Who’s my opponent… Hmm, a lil’ girly boy, man does he look like a doll. His sissy face makes me giggle. I don’t need to be reserved so I’ll just laugh it out while I still have the chance.
From up-close I can see the letters above his head. It reads Mana. What, that’s so cool, it makes guys with sense of humor like me feel jelly disdainful.
Five…Four…Three…Two…One…
Oh yeah, come to me baby. I’ll rip you to shreds!
Zero - Match start.