Shaun gasped in relief. The battle had been frantic and furious, but as far as he could tell it was winding down, and all to their credit. The field was littered with downed Jugs, some salvageable, some scrap metal. Kenny and Leonard had done an outstanding job of long range targeting based on the information provided by the Perseus Protectors, Li Min had defended both of them from head-on assaults, and the rest of the two squads had chewed through the enemy with only minor losses.
As Commanding Officer, it would be up to Shaun to apportion the repaired Jugs to new owners. It was his feeling that all of his squad except for he himself had Jugs they were quite happy with, as long as the Cheetah was repaired and Lorenzo recovered from his concussion. Besides, the locals had risked everything they had assisting the Hokliss crew. They deserved the bulk of this windfall. He was already considering how to sort the whole thing out, as information came in on the results of the battle.
In the course of battle he had observed the progress of one enemy Jug in particular, a 110-ton Spitfire which had performed very well. The armor had been almost completely stripped off the Jug and one leg had been blown off, but given a little free time it would be easy to repair completely.
There was also a 100-ton Stingray that he thought would make a great upgrade from the Damascus, an 80-ton Ocelot and two 60-ton Aztecs. That should be plenty to help the Perseuns out from their light weight issues. The rest of the Jugs were basically so much scrap metal.
He issued a request that the Hokliss Jugs be given priority, as they needed to continue their tour. Of course there would be plenty of time for the miracle crews to repair the Jugs that were left behind.
And then, there was the matter of the captives. Several pilots had survived the destruction of their Jugs, and were now being held in jail cells. Two of the youngest ones had talked and confirmed Detwiler’s suspicions. Pon Wen Lo had taken over his brother’s gang, and been a bit too successful in raids on military targets in the Cheung Dynasty. He had secured a number of top of the line Jugs, and earned a bounty on his head. Given the situation at the border, he had thought that Perseus 6 would be an easy target to take and to hold to be protected from Cheung’s wrath. Had the Hokliss 34th not arrived when they did, the plan would probably have succeeded.
That evening the squad were invited to a formal dinner at the Governor’s mansion. Once more they wore their dress blues and spruced up to meet the occasion. Even Kenny managed to tone down his five o’clock shadow a bit. Lorenzo had awakened from his coma, but was in no condition to attend.
Shaun had gotten quite used to making speeches by now. He made sure to give credit to Mark Cameron and the Perseus Protectors for all their accomplishments that day, then announced officially which Jugs were being left behind. He received a loud and long round of applause from the guests, clearly appreciative of his generosity.
Next the Governor stood and gave a speech in return, profusely thanking the Hokliss 34th and the Calverts for their continued support and so-timely arrival. She then declared that she was granting each of them a ceremonial “key to the city,” representing the debt the citizens owed to them. The keys were brought out by eight young ladies who approached each member of the 34th and placed the key on a red ribbon around their necks. One young lady paused, looking for whom she should give the key to, so Shaun waved her over.
“Lorenzo was not able to be here this evening. I will make sure the key gets to him.”
She smiled and nodded and handed him the key, which he placed in his pocket.
The rest of the dinner proceeded smoothly, though the tension between Alissa and Kenny was thick enough to cut with a steak knife. She had elected to sit between Shaun and Kenny, making conversation with Shaun and basically ignoring Kenny. Shaun couldn’t help but notice that Li Min elected to sit at Kenny’s other side.
He kept his responses monosyllabic and non-committal, trying to discourage Alissa, but to no effect. He focused on his meal, once again real food, this time steak. Evidently Perseus 6 had enough usable space to raise cattle. He inquired of the waitstaff as to whether he might take one to Lorenzo at the end of the meal, and they consented.
As soon as he felt it would not be rude, he thanked the Governor and bid farewell to those around him. A waiter brought him the steak meant for Lorenzo, and he walked out the door and into a hallway. But it seemed he was followed.
“Why have you been ignoring me all evening?” Alissa was clearly very upset. “You know I can’t stand that! You made me feel like a fool out there in front of a hundred people!”
“I am sorry,” he told her sincerely. As he continued, he used the gentlest tone he could, knowing that anything else would sound terribly accusing. “But you have to understand that this is exactly what you have been doing to Kenny. He loves you, and you ignore him and make him feel like a fool.
“I’m going to say to you what I already said to him. I really care for the two of you, and I wish you could find some way back to what you once had. But if you can’t, I hope that you can break it off in a civil manner and part as friends. Anything else is going to rip the two of you to pieces, and me along with you. Please don’t do that to any of us.”
She was still upset. “If I leave him, will you be there for me?”
He spread his hands helplessly. “How can you ask that? Don’t you know what that would do to him?”
“I know - but I just don’t care anymore! When I am with him I feel trapped: with you, I feel free. Please: I can’t go on like this…”
Shaun’s emotions were spinning like a whirlpool. Alissa was everything he could want in a girlfriend, and he did indeed want her. It was clear that she and Kenny had nothing left. He was almost tempted to ask, “If I say yes, will you break it off gently with him?” But if he did ask, he would be making a commitment he wasn’t sure he could handle.
“Alissa: you can’t just go running from his arms and jump into mine! It doesn’t work that way. After a breakup you need a little time to yourself, to rediscover who you are by yourself. It’s part of the process: if you leave it out, you’ll never feel right. Please: just do this for me?”
And there it was. He had said it: “for me.” Now some kind of debt was implied: a commitment to reciprocate in kind. It was what he didn’t want, but it had slipped out.
She hesitated, then nodded. “Okay: for you. If this is what it takes to make you comfortable being with me, I’ll do it. Just don’t make me wait too long.”
He nodded numbly. He was already committed. “Okay. Give it a little time, and I’ll be there for you.”
He held his breath as she left, wondering how long it would be before she dropped the hammer on Kenny. He hoped it wouldn’t be long.
The rest of the tour passed without incident, aside from the fact that apparently everyone they met had heard at least part of the story of the battle on Perseus 6, and wanted to hear more. Shaun and Alissa obliged them, trying to do so in as humble a manner as possible. But the very nature of the tale led to a considerable amount of hero worship for all parties involved. Shaun caught sight of some young ladies even approaching Kenny to chat him up. Assuming that Alissa had spoken to Kenny, Shaun caught up with him in between conversations.
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“Soooo… how’s it feel, being the big hero? Seems like there’s a lot of nice ladies out there wanting to get to know you better. Why not go for it?”
Kenny gave him a sideways glance. “What ever happened to: ‘Oh, no! I could never take advantage like that! We’re here today and gone tomorrow: what kind of relationship could we have?’
“Besides, as long as there’s still a chance with Alissa, I could never do that to her.”
So, she hadn’t spoken to him yet. What was she waiting for? He asked her, later.
“I’m sorry. It just didn’t feel like the right time.”
“Alissa: it’s never going to be ‘the right time’ for a breakup. But look around you: he’s got women lined up for days, and you’re still keeping him on the hook! He barely talks to them because he wants to work things out with you!”
She sighed and nodded. “I know. I’m sorry, I know I said I would. And I will… just not right now.”
“What? What do you mean, ‘not right now?’ When?”
“I don’t know!” she snapped back at him. “Sometime! Quit pushing me!”
There was so much more to say, but the way she was reacting he knew she’d never hear any of it. He sighed. “I got stuff to do. See you later.”
“Shaun! Don’t walk away angry, please?”
He turned back towards her. “How am I supposed to feel? How would you feel if it was me and some lady?”
“I don’t know.” she almost whispered. “I’m trying, okay?”
In truth, there was only one question that still mattered right now. “Do you still love him? Do you still want him back?”
She shook her head, apparently confused. “What? No, nothing like that! I just - I never broke up with anyone before, okay? I wouldn’t know what to say.”
He took a deep breath. “You tell him you’re sorry, but this isn’t working out. You don’t want to hurt him, but you feel like you’re on different paths. You need to follow your heart, and that’s no longer set on him. Tell him -- just tell him that. That’s good enough. If you try for more, you’ll just insult him or hurt him more.”
He spoke from painful experience: not of him breaking up with anyone, but the several times girls had broken up with him. Some had been kind, some had been cruel, some had been blunt, and some had danced around it all night. His advice was the amalgam of the least painful times it had happened.
She nodded. “Okay. I can do that.” She sighed. “See what a mess I am? See why I need you, now rather than later?”
He sighed. “You can’t have me and Kenny at the same time. It doesn’t work that way. Tell him, then we’ll take a little time, and then find out where you stand.”
He turned to go. “I’m sorry that it’s rough. But it’s necessary. I do care about you, and I’ll be waiting. I promise.”
He walked on. He had done it again: made a commitment he didn’t know he could keep.
Soon enough they arrived back at Hokliss. Word had arrived ahead of them about the battle, just as on the outlying planets. Shaun accepted the backslaps and congratulations as humbly as possible, unsure there was anything all that noteworthy in their accomplishment. They had taken on another squad in equal numbers, then when replenished, taken three squads of mostly bantam and medium weight Jugs with two solid squads on their side. It had been a fairly even battle, all things considered. The only amazing thing was their timing, and he could hardly claim responsibility for that.
It was evening a couple of days after they had arrived back home that he heard the argument coming from Kenny and Alissa’s room. At first he tried to ignore it, but morbid curiosity got the better of him and he stepped out into the night to listen. When the door to their room opened their voices became clear,
“Just _get_ it, Kenny! I’m tired of dancing around it! No, there is nothing to work out! It’s over! Just leave me alone!”
That seemed to be the final word of the argument as she slammed the door shut from the outside, leaving him on the inside. She was carrying her duffel bag and another bag slung over her shoulder, and apparently had earned the attention of a pair of MP’s walking down the street. Whether someone had called them or they had just been passing by, Shaun couldn’t tell.
Their voices were lower than her shouting, so once again he was uncertain of what was said, but he caught the jist and could figure out the rest.
“Excuse us, miss? What seems to be the problem?”
“Sorry, officers. I just had a breakup with my boyfriend. I need a new place to sleep tonight.”
“I’m sorry, miss, but you’ll have to go by the Quartermaster’s office tomorrow to get assigned another billet. Until then, you’re stuck with your old place.”
She brushed back her hair. “What do you mean? I just had a knock-down, drag-out fight with him! I’m not sleeping in the same bed with him tonight!”
“I wish we could help you out, but unless you want to spend the night in the pokey, there’s nothing we can do.”
Alissa shirked back at that. “No, I don’t think so. There’s got to be some other way.”
Shaun sighed. There was no getting around this. “Officers?” he spoke up, “She can stay with me. It’s no problem.”
The officers didn’t look too pleased with that suggestion. “You got a second cot you squirreled away in your bunk, sir? That would be against regs, but it would be better than letting you take advantage of a personal situation.”
Alicia looked discouraged as she faced him, but she shouldered her bags and started walking that way. “It’s no problem, officers. I know him: he won’t take advantage.”
“Are you sure, Miss?”
She waved back at them in dismissal. “Quite sure. Not even if I wanted him to.”
At the definite tone in her voice they relented, watching as she approached Shaun. Wordlessly he took the heavy duffel from her and stepped inside. She followed and closed the door.
“I didn’t mean to impose, but I didn’t have anywhere else to go.”
He nodded. “I know. You can take the bunk, I’ll hit the floor with some blankets.”
She shook her head. “No. I know you’re not ready for more, but I need you right now. Just hold me, is all I’m asking.”
She seemed exhausted as she dropped her other bag, took two steps to him and hugged him. There was nothing else he could do but hug her back. “Okay. We can do that.”
She relaxed and melted into his arms. She felt so good, so right there; what was he thinking, even trying to resist this? They stood for a couple of minutes before she pulled her face back from his shoulder and turned it towards his. In a moment they were kissing passionately, and Shaun’s heart was swelling with desire. He drew her down onto the bed, first sitting then laying together on the narrow mattress, hugging each other tightly. Even with all their clothes still on, it was perhaps the most erotic moment of Shaun’s life to date.
The moments that followed did not disappoint, either. Tenderness and desperation seemed to collide as they undressed and caressed each other, finally finding release to the tension that had been between them for so long, which Shaun had tried so hard to deny.
When their passion had been satisfied they lay together in mutual embrace, neither one ready to be apart. Shaun ran his hands tenderly down her back, feeling the sweat on her that matched his, and the satisfaction now of just this intimate touch. She stirred a little and stroked him in turn, then chuckled.
“I’m sorry: I couldn’t wait. You aren’t disappointed in me now, are you?”
He laughed. “Hardly. That was incredible. I’ve never felt anything like that before.”
He kissed her passionately again. “I don’t know if I ever could again.”
She smirked at him. “I hope to change your mind on that. We’ll find out soon.”
He grinned. “Okay: challenge accepted. Just let me catch my breath first.”
He hugged her close, finally feeling a peace he had not had in a long time.