I don't have much memory of my childhood; except for all the parts that were extremely traumatic. I was a part of a typical divorce where dad left, and mom had to raise her two children on her own. We would see him on holidays of course but not without the dread of seeing his side of the family who only pretended to care. Gifts that bore no part of my personality and opinions about my life they had no clue about. 

As far as I could remember my mother was anything but nurturing. Bringing random men in who would inevitably leave her. Instead of watching movies or playing with me, she was always stuck to that damn computer, fighting some imaginary monster in an RPG. 

Today sucked but that was my normal. I sit up in my bed and squeeze my frail body tightly. God, I feel like shit. I can feel the waves of nausea pulsing up and down until suddenly it’s in my throat. I rush to the bathroom sink and grip onto the counter. What little food I ate makes its way into the sink, and my body, not yet satisfied, continues to empty my insides until it’s nothing but bile. Feeling the sensation slightly relieve on my throat, I hobble back to my room and curl up on my bed, clenching my body. I lay there for what feels like forever but in reality is probably only ten minutes. I don’t feel like getting up, not again; I'm so tired of puking. I force the feeling down as I know it is mostly sickness from stress.

The silence is interrupted by insistent airy meows on the other side of the door. Slowly I force myself out of bed and reach for the doorknob. I unlatch it and leave it ajar until a small white and brown blur rushes through it. I quickly latch it shut and resume my position on my bed. It didn't take her long to follow my steps and leap into my bed. She lightly nuzzles her face against mine while purring with burning affection. 

“Oh Ivy you are just so attention-deprived aren't you”

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I meekly reach my arm out to pet her and graze my hand across her silky soft fur. I meet her gaze and peer into her icy blue eyes. She's the only creature I feel like living for. 

Soft paws tense on my body as she tip-toes onto my back. The tension rhythmically rises and falls as she kneads her paws forward and backward. Her body gently settles on my back and she begins to take the position of a loaf. Her purrs radiate through my body and release a sense of calm. I lay still feeling very content with my furry companion, it’s as if for a moment all my problems don't exist. 

Feeling somewhat better encourages me to grab my tablet and distract myself from my sorrows by watching some YouTube. It's funny how you can become attached to a person who doesn't even know you exist. A new video came out today that I tap excitedly. 

“Hello everybody and welcome back to another video, I am super excited to show everyone my new makeup pallet!”

She releases new makeup themes every so often and this one had a lavish red theme that I so adore. I admire everything about it through the screen but I know deep down I would never get to admire it in my own hands. 

My family has always struggled with money for as long as I can remember. As my mother descended further into madness the problems only got worse.  

The weight of sleeplessness crept over my eyes. Glancing over at the time at the top of the screen it read 1:00 AM. I open the clock app to set the alarm to 7:00 AM. Gliding over the power button the tablet screen goes dark. The only light in the room illuminates from the Christmas lights above my bed. Complete darkness terrifies me. I’m left with my thoughts waiting for sleep to take me. Warmth radiates on my back from Ivy’s small body and she feels at ease to not move a muscle. 

I dread the thought of attending school tomorrow but I'm so far behind from being sick. Math is the worst by far but to be fair the teacher explains things so poorly for my neurodivergent brain. 

Drifting slowly from consciousness, sleep finally takes me.