"Jonathan! Get off your lazy ass and go fix the leak in the garage roof" Beth's shrill voice called out from the other room where she was tending to our newborn son, Jonas.

I let out a tired sigh as i turned off the TV and made my way over to her. "You know i would love to just relax on my saturday after working all week, just once" I said as i walked up behind her and kissed her cheek.

It was just a gesture to acknowledge her hard work with the kids, any romance between me and Beth died while raising our firstborn 4 years ago. Our sad attempts to reignite the flame resulted in Jonas being conceived. At this point I might aswell have donated my dick to science, just so that someone would get some use out of it.

Beth turned to me with a surprisingly warm smile and wanted to say something, but Jonas wouldnt have that lack of attention and started wailing. I quickly fled the scene.

Stopping in the kitchen to sneak a beer with me, I made my way to the garage roof. As i positioned the ladder against the garage I looked up to the sky. 'Well if it starts raining she cant blame me for not finishing it today' I thought to myself as i eyed the dark clouds hanging overhead. I stsrted to climb my way up the ladder to inspect the damage to the roof.

After i managed to clamber my way up there and took a loom around, I couldnt help a groan escaping my mouth. Ripped out shingles, torn up insulation, and a crows nest right inside the massive, glaring hole. "Fuck you birds!" I called out to the sky, earning me a weird look from a passerby on the streets below.

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After a mild staredown, which I was proud to have won, I sat down on some of the torn up insulation and opened my cold beer. As i took my first sip I realised to my dissatisfaction that the comfortable looking insulation was still wet and now soaking through my pants. I then sat there for about 10 minutes, truly relaxing for the first time in months.

Ofcourse, it would not last. Appearantly momma crow dissaproved of my me-time almost as much as Beth. Or maybe that damn bird heard me earlier.

Either way, a black feathered incarnation of rage swooped down on me and struck me in the head. I raised my hands to defend myself, curled up in fetal position and tried to keep the beak and claws away from my face. It was a scary situation and i panicked, okay?

I flinched when the crack of thunder sounded out, but i couldnt see where it came from. It was close though. I knew I was losing the fight and had to get off that roof fast. I began to crawl towards the ladder. Sadly, that damn crow wouldn't have any of this, it redoubled its efforts to rip off anything soft and squishy it could get its beak on.

As I was trying to swat the crow away, my free hand brushed against the ladder. I think it was waiting for that, it swooped and dove under my armpit, visciously lacerating my left eye before flying back out from under me.

I screamed out in pain and rolled onto my back, pressing my hands against my eye. That damn bird got a good dose of karma, lightning tore through the sky again. My uninjured eye shot open at the deafening noise. I witnessed how the thunderbolt struck the bird right between the wings, just as it was turning for the killing blow... probably.

Unfortunately, lightning wasnt quite done yet and it tore straight into my garage roof. I can't tell you which I heard first, the crack of lightning or the roof of my garage exploding, but i can tell you that i soiled myself thoroughly.

And then i began falling.

And falling....

And falling.........

And why the fuck am i still falling?