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Journey of a Mage
Chapter 2 - …But pessimism is a good bride too

Chapter 2 - …But pessimism is a good bride too

Trees, trees and more bloody trees, the endless forest sure does live up to its name. But with only the sound of thousands of boots marching and the forests silence to keep me company, I became incredibly bored.

So with my boredom in mind, I decided this was the perfect opportunity to ask the big burly man dress in mail armour some more questions. “Serjeant, I've got some more question that I want to ask?”

“Be quite Henry I've had enough of your questions every since we came through the portal.” Without even turning to look at me his usual grating droning voice answers my question almost immediately.

“Look I know I may have been a bit annoying for the past few miles, but I can't help but wonder why we came into the forest in the first place, with an army of ten thousand men nonetheless? I mean why not fight in the plains near our border? It's much closer to home and only a short march away. It's a much more sensible plan in my opinion.”

The Serjeant hearing my multitude of questions finally turns around to face me. “Be quiet recruit. No one cares about your opinion, I for one certainly don't. We are grunts, and we have our orders, and we will follow them through. So shut up and keep marching!” Screaming the last the last part he spins back around and continues the march. After he had walked away, I noticed I was gaining an every increasing number of pitying stares from the other conscripts, but I could also hear the obnoxious laughter from the real soldiers as well.

Heaving a great sigh, all I could do was give up any attempt to try and pry some information from the bootleg mercenary army officer, maybe I should try bribing next time. Still, I do think my plan is better since whatever plan old General Cuthbert has it's most likely suicidal. It'll probably be a massed charge at whatever enemy we find. Or if my suspicions are correct, a massed charge after the enemy has ambushed us in this bloody forest.

Stop. Stop being so pessimistic Henry you've got to stay positive. Now come on, sure I never wanted to be in this damn war in the first place. Sure, I was forcibly recruited by being tied me up while I was at the tavern. Sure, they forced me into this dulled brown leather uniform. Sure they didn't even give me any training on how to use the musket and sword that they threw at me. But you what? It's a big army, theirs got to be at least one competent person in the command staff, so it can't end as badly as I've imagined, right?

Ah, who am I kidding. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that General Cuthbert's current campaign is going to end up in an ambush, or worse. Seriously, who in their right mind marches their army into the Endless Forest, and without a clue as to where or who the enemies are, and aim for a battle.

While lamenting on my potential death, I fail to see the approaching tree root, and in one of my more embarrassing moment, I manage to trip over said root and begin to roll down the nearby hill.

A few feet of rolling later and it's safe to save only the only part of me injured is my dignity, and what's left of the said dignity crumbles as the obnoxious laughter from my fellow soldiers reaches my ears as they show off their flawless mobility. But there's nothing I really can do but mumbling a curse towards them.

Picking myself up, I begin to inspect the damage the roll caused to my equipment: my leather clothes are still more or less intact, though they still looked baggy on my skinny frame. The musket I've been issued with doesn't look broken, though it's still more likely self-explode and kill me. My sword, on the other hand, has managed to bent ninety degrees. How? Wait, silly question Henry, your country's obviously corrupt so of course we conscript's get the equipment made from less than average materials.

Heaving another great sigh, I do the only thing I can only do in this situation, dust myself off as best as I can and try to make sure that I don't fall behind too much.

[Hours later]

Drenched in sweat from a non-stop five-mile march and the sun setting, General Cuthbert deemed it an appropriate time to set up camp. Though with the actual tents belonging to the 'professional soldiers' us conscripts could only find rest were every we deemed it appropriate. Myself was dragging my exhausted body to the nearest and comfiest looking tree.

Snuggling into my thin blanket, I had hoped I could get a good night's sleep. Unfortunately, my view was quite literally brightened up by some jackass with an oil lamp. Though said jackass just so happens to be my newest drinking acquaintance, oh and also the person I'm pretty sure more or less sold me into the army. Since an unofficial army rule grants a reward for its professional soldiers who bring in new men; legally or not.

Just ignore him and pretend to sleep, pretend to sleep. He hasn't noticed me. I'm completely invisible. There's no way... “Henry, my friend.” Bollocks. “I've been looking everywhere for you!” Cherry arsed bastard. You kidnapped me, don't go about pretending that you're on good terms with me.

Safe to say inside I was fuming, but I couldn't let him know. So giving a fake groan, I greet the bastard. “Oh hey there, long time no see Phyllis. I was beginning to worry that someone kidnapped you after our drinking session ended and I couldn't find you anywhere.”

I notice that his eye twitched when I got his name wrong, plus there was a hint of anger in his otherwise gentle voice as he replied to me. “The names Philip, Henry.”

“Sorry Penelope, I'll try to remember it for next time.” I also flashed the most innocent smile I could accomplish in the hopes of forcing him away sooner.

Whether that worked or not, I couldn't tell. Since Princess here brought his face very close to my own, but his faced sported a creepy and disturbing smile as he replied back to me. “Don't worry Henry, since this campaign will take awhile we'll have enough time to learn, together.” At this point major alarm bells were going off, a shiver had gone up my spine and I was ready to shout 'Stranger danger!' if so much as twitched.

Thankfully, to all the various gods, I didn't just end up like a deer in a forest fire and somehow managed to keep up a relatively calm surface as I replied back to him. “That's good to hear Pamela. I do hope we get along during this long and arduous campaign that we are facing.” I this to him with sincerity in my voice and utter contempt in my heart, and topped off with a lovely smile on my face.

Though our Princess doesn't seem to overly care, even his eyed stopped twitching when gave him a female's name; maybe he's used to this kind of thing. I mean looking at the man: his face and voice are overly effeminate, give him one glance, and you'd be mistaken he was even male. Even his body structure borders on the edge of female territory. One can even say he's beautiful; you could get lost in those hazel brown eyes of his. Wait. What was I thinking about again?

But while I was slightly dazed staring at our Princess, he gave a scoff and rolled his eyes as he pulled away. It seems he must have finished his check up on me, though considering that were in the endless dark forest and the portal we came through has been shut down, means we wouldn't be able to run even if we wanted to. Unless we somehow got an activation key from one of the nobles, that is.

But I have to put those suicidal ideas out of my mind for now since with night already here I prepare myself for some well-earned sleep.

[The next morning]

Ah, the great outdoors. You know, I was a bit too pessimistic yesterday when an unending tree line greeted our little expedition. But today, coupled with the beautifully rising sun breaking through the canopy, and the magically empowered singing birds. Today will be a good day...

...Or that's what I would have said, if not for the last four hours I was on forced sentry duty. All thanks to most of the 'professional soldiers' wanted more napping time, which means that my beauty sleep was rudely interrupted, so right now, I'm cranky.

Even the morning breakfast considering of gruel(?) I believe, seems to have better ethics than those twats. At least it knows it's horrible and it doesn't even try to hide it. I salute you awful gruel and pray to the gods you don't kill me for many per-determined reasons.

So with breakfast down the hatch and my bowels considerably loosened. I began my own preparation for today's march, mainly, acquiring as much drinkable water as possible. Probably, one of the few things that the army provides which isn't made from the cheapest materials available. Maybe they care for their fodder after all.

Never the less, keeping hydrated is priority number one because after all it's summer and the forest is bloody well warm after all. That and the Army only provides us poor conscript enough so that we don't die on the march; there goes the sentimental value the water once held for me then.

Now then, time to enact the plan I had thought up on sentry duty. First I take an extra empty bag from my backpack and began to fill it up with some nearby soil, though I do make sure only to take it from the shaded ground around the tree; this way people won't see too much of a difference if they were to pass over the, plus a few leaves scattered around will help to make it look more authentic. A few minute later; and my bent sword even dirtier, the bag was full, and I began my trip to the depot.

Thankfully it wasn't very far either since it would seem that my random tree picking resulted in me camping closish to the depot. The journey only took me ten odd minutes, to weave through sleeping men and various little camps, before I reached the depots centre.

Upon entering the centre, I could only stare in amazement, almost entirely deserted depot save for a few sleeping bodies here and there. Moving closer to one of the scattered bodies, the heavy scent of alcohol can clearly be smelled and tasted, the man's groaning seems to indicate what had happened here last night perfectly.

Looking upon the various prone people, my mind can't help but wonder where Patricia is in all of this mess; I do hope no barbarians or ruffians stole him away in the middle of this alcoholic party. A smile began to form from that thought of mind, and I couldn't help but merrily stroll towards the water supply area.

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

Approaching the supply tent, I can't help but notice that once again there is a suspicious lack of people around. I mean surely there must have been some sober people, right? The armies discipline can't be that bad. Can it? Nevertheless, shaking my head, I gathered my courage and stepped inside the tent was I was at least glad to see someone guarding the water, though his current state couldn't be described as the best.

Slumped in his wooden chair and spilt out across his desk, I could see that he may have been a tad hungover from last night's party. Plus a lot of glass bottles were scattered about the place, evidence enough that this place was a focal point for the evening's drinking event. Approaching his shaggy mop head man, I give him a little shake and ask him as quietly as possible. “Hey, wake up. I'm here for the water supply.”

Thankfully I don't startle him awake. Instead, the quartermaster just groans a bit before saying. “Unlucky bastard, guess you were forced to stay sober to collect everything. Ha ha ah.” Holding his head with one hand, the other points to a stack of bags as he mumbles through the desk. “There's your squad's water supply over there, take it and get the fuck out.” You, sir, are a true party hero, your deeds shall not go unrewarded. I give him a silent salute before I turn and approach the bags. Though I do make sure to look in one first, and I'm overjoyed to see it brimming with water flasks.

Though it does make my soil bag slightly useless, nevertheless I can still use to hide water. Pulling out some water canteens from different bags; while making sure not to disturb out quartermaster beauty sleep. Each one I pick, I then dig to the bottom of the bag. Which is much harder with it being packed so tightly, but a bit of squirming allows me to jam a few of the canteens in.

Pleased with the work I just accomplished, I quickly stroll out of the tent, but this is where I run into a slight complication with my plans since it would seem that Pauline wasn't kidnapped last night as I had quite hoped for.

He was instead staggering his way towards the quartermaster's office, seemingly not noticing the fact I was right in front of him, taking this as a good sign I decided it was the perfect time to get the hell out of the depot and begun walking the other way.

Unfortunately, the sound of my hastening boots seemed to have caught his attention. I could almost feel his head snapping to my direction and locking onto me like I was a prey the early morning predator had just noticed. The phrase 'Keep walking and don't look back' was repeated throughout my mind as I hastened my steps and by some miracle, he either didn't care enough to call out to me, or he just didn't care who I was. Hopefully the latter, otherwise I might be in trouble.

Either way, right now I was off scot-free, and with a few extra bottles to my name, my marching should be considerably better. So weaving into the awakening crowd of people, I went to my sleeping spot and begun the process of swapping the canteens out of the dirtbag and into my backpack. I also made sure to clean the bag as much as possible since there's the possibility I may need to use it again.

Now then, all I need to do is wait for the morning march, shouldn't be more than an hour or so away.

[Midday. Six hours later.]

Well, that's a large army, this was my first though as we in the open field as we exited the forest. Since we had plenty of muskets at our disposal, I was one of the few people sent out to mark out our shooting distances. Though in all fairness, putting the long piece of wood in the ground at exactly three hundred and fifty meters was something that all of us found difficult. However, with many of us spread across around five hundred meters, we all more or less settle on the same relative place.

The same continues for three hundred meters, two hundred and fifty, two hundred, etc. By the time I finished the last fifty meters I was incredibly bored. The only thing keeping me interested was the strange formation that the enemy had taken. I'm no expert, but even half a mile away, I could see that they only had a small number of their troop's lines up on the forests edge with the rest mingling in with the trees. How peculiar.

Even with this new found interest, I couldn't help but feel that something bad was going to happen. So taking a page out of the good general's book, I positioned myself at the extreme left of our formation, though even if I was on the far left my company was still on the front lines so no matter how far back I went I was still in the armies centre. Still, if I bolt early enough the enemy shouldn't catch me, and I might even be able to use the same trick mother uses when she goes to battle and switch sides.

Even with the added distraction, the enemy wasn't coming anytime soon, and so in the act of mercy, the good General allowed us conscripts to rest alongside the 'professionals'. With the midday sun beating down on us the extra water I scavenge is a much-needed resource.

Unfortunately for my break, thirty minutes in and the enemy had begun to advance. Slowly. Really slowly. So slowly in fact that they had only managed to cover six hundred meters in about two hours. If there aim had been to kill us via boredom and agitation, then they're going to claim they first victim soon.

However, once they did hit six hundred meters I noticed that some of their men were beginning to split off from the advancing army, and they were advancing at a much quicker pace than the rest of them. I did a rough estimate as they marched forward and I managed to counted about forty-five figures.

My first thought upon seeing these people was that they were some army officers and that they were moving forward in an attempt to inspire their men to pick up the pace. But, unlike regular officers like my commanding Serjeant, theses ones were giving off some unknown presence that was even affecting me. Plus, having a quick look around, I noticed that a majority of the people seemed affected as well.

The next thirty minutes was soul crushingly horrifying. Men around me prayed, puked, peed themselves or a variation of the three, and it all came from that oppressive presence that was slowly advancing towards us, that was coming our way. As they crossed another two hundred meters and neared the first firing posts, the oppressive presence began to become thicker and thicker. I was honestly surprised no one near me had tried to run away.

A few meters away from the first post I was finally able to make out the details of our approaching enemies. To say the least, what caught my attention were the shady individuals advancing before the army, they were a bit different, to say the least. Even from this distance, I could make out various eccentric colours and patterns that belong to the enemy. Some of which consisted of colours I've never seen, though I doubt I'll get the chance to inspect their garments personally.

As soon as the enemy hit three hundred and fifty meters time seemed to move slowly, those officers in front surprised us all. Within seconds of our front line raising their muskets those strange individuals themselves had crossed two hundred meters. Impossible was a word me and many other people had.

It wasn't until these individuals had reached point blank range that the of musket fire started, and like lemmings, the rest of the army followed. Well almost everyone, myself was ready to make a run for it from the first jump these monsters took.

But that was only the beginning of the many strange things that would occur today. With only a few feet distance between them and us, our brave Serjeant had held his shot to the last second and fired point blank into the nearest person head. However, said person was most unimpressed from our Serjeants action, the muskets iron ball had merely bounced off of his skin. With this, the man then proceeded to place the offending weapon into the man's own skull.

Nearby, a woman with some of the palest skin I've every seen had jumped high into the sky and landed among our soldiers. I couldn't see the close quarters, but from the various men and body part flying through the air, barbequed and raw. I theorised that things were going badly for them.

So with extremely dangerous and terrifying people in front of me I exited stage left and bolted for the nearby forest. To my dismay, my little escape had been noticed, fortunately for me it was just Penny who had the same idea as me, though he was also trying to order me to slow down and be bait if the monster indulging in slaughter decided they want to hunt running prey instead.

But fuck that. I didn't even turn to acknowledge the threats and orders he was giving. Instead, I began to sprint a bit faster while thanking Polly for not only being in heavy armour but also for being my sacrifice if need be. Pricilla on his part turned quiet after being ignored for a few minutes, he himself began to run as fast as possible, though quite a bit louder due to all the extra jingling noise the armour made, though I could barely hear it in due to the background of screaming men.

Just over ten minutes later and with the adrenaline wearing off, I had successfully left the battlefield well behind. In victory, I sloped down the nearest tree and begun to fumble about my backpack for a water flask which I proceeded to drink to my heart's content.

Downing a canteen in mere seconds I began to regain some of my lesser senses, and one of the first things I noticed was that fleeing figure of General Cuthbert along with his knights and the actually trained part of the army, all unscathed as well I see. Anger began to swell up inside of me, and I swore that General Cuthbert's career would end once I returned to the kingdom because no one sends a Durant to die and lives to see a peaceful death.

Though it'll be my mother, who's most likely to avenge me, though that itself depends on if I can get back through the portal or not. I also finally notice that Piper seems to have gone missing and that brightens my mood a bit. “Your sacrifice won't be forgotten.” I think it's only right to send him off, so I give the air in front of me a quick salute.

Musket within hand I begun to enter the forest and earnestly start to work my way along the edge of the forest and hope to Saint Alona that I meet up with the General, because even if I want him dead, he's currently the only chance of getting home straight away.

But even the most brilliant and well thought out plans will often fail. Since not even a few meters into the forest, I chanced upon another clearing; this time much more naturally made. If I had a choice I would have avoided the clearing, but an unknown force had pulled me into the clearing, and after I had stopped rolling I came face-to-face with Phoebe and some strange but fancily dressed young woman.

The pessimist in me begun to overwhelm me at this point, especially with the creepily smiling Philistine. No! Stay positive Henry, don't give into the pessimism, getting up I gave my best smile as I greeted my potential doom. “Philip, thank the God's your safe. You don't know how worried I was when I discovered you weren't behind me. I was worried that you had been captured by the enemy while we were escaping.” Surprisingly it wasn't all a lie either since I was worried that I might have been next if you had only perished recently.

But keeping my inner monologue to myself, I addressed the young lady next. “And if I am correct, you must have been the one who saved my friend. I cannot thank you enough for what you've done for me today.”

Unexpectedly, she seemed rather unimpressed. Turning to Peppa, she said in a heavenly voice, “So this is the thief and deserter you were talking about. He doesn't live up to the expectation you built him up to be Philip.” You son of a Velorian Spice whore.

“My lady need not worry for every word I said was true, in front of you stands the scoundrel and thief that I was pursuing while our brave men fought your glorious army.” The soft voice he used seemed even more sinister and arrogant than usual.

Also, who's the scoundrel and thief here, I've done nothing wrong.

The young women also seemed unimpressed from Philips statement as well. “Why did I even bother to intervene in such a small matter.” Though while she said this, I had already begun to run away in hopes that she wouldn't care.

Unfortunately, even as I turned around, I was immediately kicked several feet back, landing flat on my arse and having my gun embedded into a nearby tree. “Please don't run. I don't know the exact court customs of your country, but with me, you'll be judged equally with Philip here.” That angelic voice rang out towards me.

But at this point, I was beginning to slip in and out of a rather severe and splitting headache. It took me awhile even to notice that I was being dragged towards the centre of this opening. To my dismay, I found that my hands had been tied already, which meant that they were no way for me to escape anymore. Forgetting what the women had just said to me, I began to give into the despair of hopelessness.

As I begun to give in, a peculiar thing occurred. The trinket my mother gave to me as a child started to emit a fierce white glow which accompanied a sharp pain that begun to enter my mind.