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Journal of an Adventurer
Trap at the Courthouse

Trap at the Courthouse

We jog a little, with WayWocket bouncing between us. My gut still hurts. That punch went through my Jack of Plates; I would not like to feel it with no armour. We catch up to Stillwater just before the courthouse. WayWocket has started to rouse. Good, he was getting heavy.

“Took you three long enough.” Stillwater does not even turn around. This must be serious. “We'll talk to Knight-Commander Kingfisher and see where he wants us positioned.”

Just have to go through the church to make it to the courthouse; should not be that bad. There are some picketers around as we enter. I make the triangle sign of the Trinity and the others do the same. None have the characteristics of Zlata's half-breed race that I could notice, so we should be good.

“Weapons.”

An acolyte of the Blue stands there with a box and several other people wrapped in blue. Not sure that we want to hand over our weapons. But seeing Stillwater unbuckle her sword, I do the same.

As I hand over my sword and knives, he hands me a ticket. “Do not lose this, or we will not give you back your weapons.”

Damn Blues. “Sure thing.”

What is strange is how many weapons WayWocket has on him, mostly flasks and metal spheres. The occasional knife, but the pile grows and grows. “What did you think was going to happen today, Way?”

He looks up at me. “Can’t be too sure.”

Stillwater says. “Come on, we will be late.”

No, they will wait.

We enter the main area of the Courthouse. A group of the Duke's Shield walks towards us. “Come with us, please.” How courteous of them.

We move into a back room. There is the Duke, the Count, High Inquisitor Dale, the Abbot, Knight-Commander Kingfisher, and the rest of the Travellers, except Olive. Guess she will miss out on all this fun. She really is nice, but devious.

The Duke approaches us. “This will be a faked court session, which took me and my cousin most of the morning to convince Inquisitor Dale to accept. The Defendants are a recently formed Charter called the Helpers.” I think I know them, the knight and the Folk. “Zlata charged them with destruction of official documents, but it seems that she has filed most of what has been happening.”

Stillwater steps forward. “No one will believe that this is a real court with…”

“Sergeant Stillwater, you will be quiet!” Jara’s hammer, never seen that; Stillwater just being embarrassed, her face is a bit flushed. “We know that these are unrealistic, trumped-up charges, hence the convincing of the Inquisitor. Now, myself and the Count will be presiding over the court as the highest-ranked nobles. The prosecution will not be Zlata, as she is an official officer who will give evidence on the Helpers’ guilt.”

All we can do is nod. Abbot Kamil steps forward. “I will be representing the defence, making sure that I have the chance to manipulate Zlata into revealing her true intentions.”

This is going over my head. What do they need us for? Althanis steps up. “So, what do you need us to do, your Grace.”

“As Zlata is a witness, we want your Charter and the Rejects to keep an eye on her. If she makes any move, follow and report back.”

That seems straightforward, and after the last few days, a welcome change. “That seems easy, but do you really think she would be stupid enough to do anything in this court?”

“If she is a pawn, yes, but if she is behind everything I would expect her to run.”

Kamil adds. “After my questioning there will be no doubt who and what role she played in these events.”

“Um, have you told the Helpers that this isn’t real?”

My mouth moved before I had even thought to keep it shut. Gunnar glares at me. This again. Stillwater just looks towards the nobles. Not in trouble, thank Mela’s Mercy. Kamil answers my question. “No, we need them to react naturally.”

Glad I am not in their shoes. “I will leave you with my Knight-Commander to assign your positions.”

Everyone files out, except the Knight-Commander, the Rejects, and the Travellers, and of course me.

“I have read each of your files from the Hall, and the report you made, Stillwater.” The Knight-Commander motions everyone over to a table. He points to a diagram. “This is the Courthouse.” I have never seen a schematic of any sort of building. Interesting, but confusing. He points down. “This is the witness area, which happens not to be in the chambers. We propose that you, Travellers, take this exit and corner.” He points at some random point. I have no idea where it is. “And your group, Stillwater, will be ‘witnesses’ as well. Your job is to pay close attention to Zlata.”

Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

Althanis asks, “Won’t Zlata be suspicious if Stillwater and the Rejects are in the witness area?”

Stillwater pipes up. “We have submitted a report about the occurrences happening at the Grain Mill. Zlata knows us by sight. If we were hanging around on a corner, she would become more suspicious.”

Slow clap. Everyone is five steps ahead of me. I was weirded out about a fake court case. Does this sort of thing happen every day?

“So what else should we be doing?”

Good old blunt Gunnar. Belgrim nods his head as well. Dwarves do like sticking together; it is the family thing.

Kingfisher looks down at Gunnar. He does not seem impressed, even though Gunnar has put fresh grease in his hair and rolled around in some sort of mud. “Your job is to keep her distracted and off-balance, as it will help us if she is a little scattered.” He rolls up the plans. “Are there any other questions?”

A million are going through my head. One was whether he shone his head every morning or whether that buff effect was just natural? Come to think of it, if a dog chews shoes, whose shoes does he choose? Maybe this would be interesting; are we being paid? Or maybe how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

“Lone?”

A thump on my shoulder wakes me from my little reverie. We, the Rejects, are standing in the room by ourselves.

“You do like to daydream, don’t you Halfy?”

“I was thinking of questions to ask.”

Stillwater shakes her head. WayWocket pipes up. “Dawn’s light has much promise but that could be just a shadow.”

“I completely understood that. Thank you, Way, for clearing that up.”

Stillwater gives me one of her ‘I am going to punch you’ looks, but she holds back, probably because I am still recovering from the last one. “We have a job to do, and Solo, don’t talk to Zlata like that. If it annoys me, it surely will annoy her.”

“Okay, Boss” Then I smile. Stillwater cannot resist my smile. I even receive one in return, and a scowl from Gunnar. Win-win. “I will do my best.”

As we leave, I hear Gunnar mutter under his breath. “Yeah, you are a pain in my Jara’s.”

Love you too, Gunnar. For all the times I have been arrested, I have never had to appear in court. Sometimes, perhaps I deserved it for the ‘not nice things’ I did, but I am glad I remained free, as this place is really confusing. I do like the timber; it gives the place a rich, old feel. Wonder what it was like to live in a wooden house. Weird, I bet.

As we turn the corner, there are the Travellers just hanging out, but so casual you would never think they were here to keep an eye on anything. Laura gives me a wink; she is an attractive woman but Althanis is scary. And my hero. Sometimes I wish he was my dad.

Stone benches, with Zlata and a few others that I do not recognise. Oh well, time for me to be annoying. I call out as we are walking down, “Hey there, Acting Commander, fancy meeting you here!”

Stillwater gives me a stern look but winks at the end. Ha, I made her wink at me. Zlata looks me up and down, only to linger around my groin area. Her face turns a little green. Best comeback ever!

“What are you doing here? And you, Stillwater, are a disgrace, showing your face in front of me.”

Ordering ten buckets of hostility; hold the loathing. Stillwater just sits down and fixes the wall with a stony look. WayWocket trips on Zlata’s foot. “Whoops, sorry, was that the blue for balance or the red?”

“Get off me, you little maggot!”

Sitting down with my legs wide, I give my Jara’s a little scratch. “That is not very nice, Acting Commander. Are you feeling alright? Looking a little green; something you ate last night? Or was it the other night?”

Smirking at her while she has a good look at my man pouch.

“Can you stop that?”

“Stop what?” Following her eyes down to my groin, just like I wanted her to do. Some of the other witnesses laugh at her reaction. If I made a fart joke, this lot would find it hilarious. “Sorry, it is the ointment that I got from Cy...” Realising who is sitting with me. “Um, the Green Healers. It is clearing up but really itchy.”

Stillwater leans in and whispers. “What are you talking about?”

“I will tell you later.”

Replying in return, I could not help myself but peck her on the cheek. For such a strong lady, such soft cheeks.

“I’ll let you get away with that now, but I warn you.”

Gunnar is steaming over next to WayWocket, but he keeps his mouth shut. “You and Stillwater?”

I give her a fake, shocked look, “You did not know? Yes, we are pretty close.” Her tan face has a reddish tinge to it now. “I like a real woman.”

Squeezing Stillwater’s thigh, I am really going to pay for this later.

“Real? I am more real than you would ever get with that diseased cock!” Zlata spits at me.

“Thing is though, it was not from sleeping in the Anvil and Musket.” Zlata’s face turns from red to white. “Yeah, you met, um, what was his name—yes, Malik there, did you not?”

“What are you talking about? If I was there I would have arrested him.”

Even I could tell she is worried and lying. This whole thing is not going to plan. “I do remember you having drinks with them and the Bloody Swords.”

Stillwater moves my hand off her leg. Looks straight at Zlata. “That is strange, Zlata.”

“That is Commander to you, Private Stillwater!”

“It would be, if I was still a member of the Watch.”

“What? Why are you here, then?”

WayWocket speaks up. “We saw the Dawn rise and the darkness swept away as it can never last forever.”

Gunnar cocks his head. “Zlata, how do you know that this half-breed has a diseased cock? Or is it just white-back instinct, as you are all the same diseased filth?”

Are you insane, Gunnar? The Travellers are within earshot, and would not take kindly to that. He must have noticed my jaw dropping towards the floor. He motions his eyes towards Zlata and winks. Oh, it is a joke. Never would have known, hmmm.

Zlata’s face is morphing into a motley of colours. This is fun! “How dare you, dwarf! Looking down at me, isigqila!” A what? “Do not put me into the same category as this inferior breed of elf.”

“Who are you calling inferior? We are both Truth-spawn.” Throw that in your eye, Zlata. “Come on, who was your other parent? I am dying to know. I know who my daddy is, a merc from Western City States. How about you?”

She looks back at me, shocked. I struck a nerve. This is not a question you ask a half-breed, especially if you are one yourself. “I am not telling you who my parents are…”

“Oh, you do not know? I am a little bit of an expert on the breeding of halfys. See, half-dwarves have heavy beards; half-Folk have a scaly green sheen to their skin; half-gnomes have those weird hair colours; quarterlings are gorgeous; and I, a half-human, am just the most average of all.” I look at Stillwater. “I just cannot grow a beard. Then there is you; large, muscular, tan, upturned nose and… false teeth.”

All the Rejects’ mouths drop open, and I can hear one of the Travellers fall over, most likely Grim. Zlata looks flabbergasted.