My name is Ethan Jones but everyone calls me Jonesy.  This is the story of how I was thrown into a cosmic game world, fought monsters, befriended aliens, traveled the stars, became a vampire and repeatedly killed Edgar Allan Poe. Sounds random right? It isn't. See, for thousands of years, humans have been trying to pass a ridiculous test aliens cooked up to see if newly discovered life forms were civilized but we keep failing, over and over and over again.  This is our last chance. And the aliens cheat.