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JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Run the Jewels
Chapter 9: If You Can't Take the Heat, Get Out of the Kitchen.

Chapter 9: If You Can't Take the Heat, Get Out of the Kitchen.

Eddie Oakley plunged his hands into the scalding water. The pain was nothing compared to the throbbing in his left shoulder. It felt as if someone was pounding an ice pick into his spine each time his heart beat. Dale, the cook and Eddie’s only company for his shift inside the kitchen of Mama Bear’s Diner, turned away from his stovetop. He lunged forward, pulling Eddie’s hands from the water.

“What the hell’s wrong with you?”

Dazed and confused, Eddie could just barely make out Dale’s words. He looked down at his hands. The skin was pink and raw, covered with bulbous yellow boils. It didn’t work. Nothing worked. Nothing could dethrone the pain in his shoulder.

Dale slapped him across the face. More pain. Only an instantaneous distraction, gone before he could even enjoy it. His coworker watched him with horror, but Eddie didn’t react.

“What’s going on?” Dale asked.

“I can’t do this anymore, man,” Eddie said. “It hurts too much.”

“You need a doctor, dude,” Dale said. “Come on, we’ll tell Marlene we have to get you to a hospital. She can close up shop.”

Eddie shook his head. “You don’t understand.”

Marlene usually kept the kitchen’s temperature somewhere north of an active volcano. The already sweltering heat grew. Sweat beaded on their faces, and Dale staggered back. The pancakes on the griddle ignited, leaving only ashes. Pipes groaned overhead.

Dale put his hand on a tray to keep himself upright. The moment his hand touched the metal rail, he howled in pain. The kitchen swelled with the sulphurous smell of burning human flesh. It smelled like bad eggs.

Dale yanked at his hand, flash-fused to the now scalding metal. No English words left his mouth, only the terrified yelps and cries of agony. The pain in Eddie’s shoulder began to fade as the heat radiating everywhere washed over him like the first sunny day after rain.

“Jesus Christ, Eddie, help me!” Dale yelled, “Please! Oh, God, it hurts!”

Eddie ignored him. His coworker was wrong. It was perfect.

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“Is it getting hot in here?” Joules asked.

“Don’t ask ‘or is it just you?’” Lorelei said. “You’re doing so well, I’d hate for you to strike out now.”

He was serious; something must be wrong with the thermostat. As the two waited at the booth inside Mama Bear’s Diner, the sun had fully risen, bathing the outskirts of China Grove in the mugginess of late July. He reached for his coffee cup, but the idea of a warm drink soured his thirst. Sweat began to trickle down his neck.

“No, really,” he pressed. “Something’s wrong.”

Lorelei noticed as well. Her cheeks began to flush. They turned to Marlene, the middle aged waitress behind the counter, who fanned herself with a laminated menu.

“Does it always get this hot down here?” Lorelei asked.

Joules wiped off his forehead with a napkin, soaking it all the way through. “No, this is weird. When’s your partner getting here? I’d kill for some air conditioning right now.”

She checked her watch. “He should be here any minute now. He’s late, to tell you the truth.”

Joules ran his finger around the neck of his bright pink t-shirt, unsticking it from his chest. He pumped paltry air inside, but it did little to cool him down. Then it hit him. He felt the ‘stone’ in his left shoulder begin to pulse, slowly at first, then it quickened pace until it matched his rising heartbeat. Joules threw a soothing palm towards his new mark, still unfamiliar with the sensation.

Lorelei noticed as well, and the two locked eyes. “It’s a Stand user,” she said, dropping to a whisper.

The heat began to make Joules dizzy. “What are the odds he’s a friend?”

Lorelei shrieked suddenly, snapping Joules out of his spiraling stupor. Lorelei yanked the watch from her wrist and tossed it to the floor. Bright burns appeared on her wrist, where the watch had been.

“What the hell’s going on?” Joules hissed. He slammed his hands on the table, slightly brushing the thin layer of metal binding the plastic top to the wooden base. He jerked back instinctively.

A man screamed from the kitchen. In a flash, both [Do Dope Fuck Hope] and [Gold Digger] materialized, ready to face the challenge. Marlene jumped, falling awkwardly back on her ankle and tumbling to the floor as an old joint gave out. She moaned in pain.

Lorelei caught the fear crossing Joules’ face.

“Only Stand users can see stands,” she reminded him.

The pair leapt to their feet, making a dash for the door, but stumbled back against an invisible wall of heat radiating out from the Kitchen. Something rumbled all around them, like the stomach pangs of some massive creature.

“[Gold Digger]!” The pink Stand dashed away from Lorelei towards the kitchen, disappearing inside. “I see something! There’s people in there. One of them’s - oh, my God.”

Lorelei flew backwards, as if snatched by a giant hand. She stopped as she collided with a freestanding table, knocking it to the floor. White flames burst out on her skin and clothes. And she rolled around on the linoleum floor, desperately trying to put them out. [Gold Digger] returned to her, and the flames subsided with her stand.

Joules was trapped. On one hand, he wanted to check on Lorelei, but on the other, he needed to stop whatever it was inside the kitchen. As if sensing his dilemma, as she caught her breath, Lorelei shook her head. “Go!”

Joules didn’t have to do much. Before he’d made up his mind to jump into the kitchen, two men stepped out. One man propped the other on his shoulder. The taller man leaned on his partner, barely able to move. His right hand had been ripped open by some force and his eyes were glazed over. The shorter man dumped his partner to the floor without a word.

“Who are you?” Joules shouted. “We need to get out of here. Something bad’s going on.”

“So, it’s you two,” the man said. “You’ve got Stands as well. The guy online said I’d meet other people like me. I guess I just didn’t think it’d be here of all places.”

He was a Stand user? Then where was his Stand? Was its ability making it so hot?

“But I don’t want it anymore. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. Ever since that damn stone grew out of me, my life’s gone to hell.”

Joules tensed, and though his connection with his Stand, [Do Dope Fuck Hope] kept its distance, observing. Although, he wasn’t sure how long they could afford to stay there. His eyes darted around the diner, trying to catch a glimpse of the man’s Stand.

“I know what you mean,” Joules said. “Believe me, I didn’t choose this, and, to tell you the truth, I’ve had a really shitty day. So if we could just calm down, I’m sure we can help you.”

The man was… crying? It was hard to see, but in the glare of the overhead lights, Joules saw the tears form in the corner of the man’s eyes, turning to steam before they fell.

“I can’t do that,” he said. “It hurts too much. Everytime someone like me comes around it’s like I’m burning from the inside out. I can’t take it anymore.”

Joules took a careful step back. From the floor, Lorelei rubbed her head. She got to her feet and stood behind Joules.

“You want to let us help you,” she said.

Even though the words were meant for the man, Joules heard them in his soul, just like when she’d attached [Gold Digger] to him. He marveled inwardly at the effect her Stand had even just being nearby.

[Gold Digger]’s words weighed down on the man’s soul. He hesitated, but didn’t move. Some of the anger began to fade from his face.

“Why don’t you tell me your name?” Lorelei asked.

“Eddie,” the man named Eddie said after a heartbeat. By the way his eyes were fixated on [Gold Digger], he could tell something was wrong. It felt good to have the upper hand, however.

“Okay, Eddie. I know people who can help you,” Lorelei cooed. “They helped me, and they’re going to help my friend. They can help you too. You want my help. That would make me very happy, Eddie. Don’t you want to make me happy?”

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

“Can’t we take this somewhere else?” Joules whispered. Salty sweat stung his eyes. His mouth was dry and his skin bristled as if up against a window at noon.

She didn’t say anything in return, but the look she flashed him said everything. Joules defaulted to her good judgment.

“I want…” The words came slowly from Eddie’s lips. He was clearly fighting [Gold Digger]’s insidious influence, but he was losing. “I want to…”

“That’s right, Eddie.” Lorelei’s voice poured sweet honey directly into Joules’ ears. He felt his knees buckle. While she spoke, the unnatural heat leveled off at “Intolerable.” “You want to stop this. You can do it. Show me your Stand. I want to see it. You’re making it hot, right? If you make it any hotter, then I’m gonna have to get cool somehow.”

The image of Lorelei stripping flashed across Joules’ mind, and in that instant, he knew she’d screwed up. She’d gone too far. If Joules saw it, he was sure Eddie had to, probably ten times as vivid.

“Anything for you!” he shouted. Realizing her mistake a fraction of a second too late, Lorelei stumbled back. She’d put too much pressure on the wrong urge. The room heated up again. The groaning all around them reappeared. “I’ll do anything if you take off your top!”

“Okay, fuck this,” Lorelei said. “Stop staring and cover me, lover boy.”

[Gold Digger] drained from Joules’ head like an airlock depressurizing with all the noise and chaos that came with it. Lorelei was already past him when he snapped out of it, closing the distance between them and Eddie. She was going for broke, trying to place [Gold Digger] on the disturbed fry cook herself if she couldn’t goad the man into her arms. Eddie’s face ran the gamut of emotions from shock to heartbreak to rage in the blink of an eye.

“[Arcade Fire]!”

There it is!

Lorelei was a precious inch away from grabbing hold of Eddie when the diner exploded. The force struck Joules like a head on collision with an eighteen-wheeler. He closed his eyes, expecting the heat of the blast to consume him.

Water?

A torrent of fouls smelling water spewed from burst pipes in the ceiling, covering everything. Joules coughed and choked after taking an inadvertent breath. He was thoroughly soaked, but the water cooled him down.

Both Eddie and Lorelei had also been caught off guard. Lorelei was back on the ground. She crawled through the polling water towards Eddie.

“Wait!” Joules shouted.

Eddie was on his feet first, now completely free from [Gold Digger]’s snare. He swiped a handful of silverware and threw it at Joules before he could intercept Lorelei. [Do Dope Fuck Hope] reacted immediately, swtting away the incoming missiles. They struck around him, sticking into the tables and wall, then began to warp and curl.

Joules turned back towards Eddie, poised to attack, but he pressed a dishtray on Lorelei’s head, holding her down in the shallow water. She spit and coughed as the rancid liquid filled her mouth and nose.

“Don’t move!” Eddie said, panic seeping into his voice. “Don’t come any closer! My Stand, [Arcade Fire] can heat up any metal. If you take one more step, I’ll crank up the heat and wrap this around your girlfriend’s head.”

Joules froze. The courage and bravado he’d shown against M. Davis was gone. Now, he felt crushing fear. He couldn’t make a move without putting Lorelei in more danger. [Do Dope Fuck Hope] was fast, but he wasn’t sure if it was faster than heat.

He didn’t have any good options.

From the fear in Eddie’s eyes and the cracking of his voice, Joules guessed his opponent didn’t want things to get this far, but had backed himself into a corner. It was always dangerous to approach a cornered predator.

“What are you gonna do now, Eddie?” Joules asked, trying to emulate Lorelei. “How’s this thing gonna end?”

“It’s either you or me,” Eddie said. “As long as there are people like us, I’ll never have a normal life. So either you kill me now and save your girlfriend or you both die. What’s it gonna be?”

He needed more time. The old Joules would have run at the first sign of trouble, but now he couldn’t just leave Lorelei to this guy. If he made a move with his hand, he was sure to smother Lorelei with molten steel.

“You can walk away,” Joules said. “It’s like she said: we can help you. I’ve been dealing with my Stand for way longer than I knew what it was, and I’ve made peace with it. It’s a part of me. You don’t have to be afraid any more.”

“But what about the pain?” Eddie said.

“I don’t know,” Joules said, deciding on honest optimism. He felt his own ‘stone’ pulse. “What I do know is that we’re connected. We’re all special. I can feel you and Lorelei. I know it hurts, but that just means you’re alive to feel it.”

“I can’t… I just can’t… ”

I know what you mean. Maybe this could have been different. I’m sure you didn’t wake up this morning thinking this would happen. But it did, and here we are. The only thing left is to decide what you’re gonna do about it.

The words in his head were words he couldn’t say aloud, but they echoed through Joules just the same. If someone had said that to him a week ago, he would have pushed them away, just as Eddie was doing. In another life, their roles might have been reversed. Joules could have been holding the gun, the first real spark of agency in a long time. Would he have pulled the trigger?

“You know I can’t let you hurt her,” Joules said.

“I don’t care!” Eddie said, pressing down harder on Lorelei’s head. “I’ll use [Arcade Fire] to burn away us all!”

I’m sorry, Eddie.

[Do Dope Fuck Hope] dashed towards Eddie, and Joules knew that in that moment he had vindicated everything Eddie believed. In that moment, Joules was the enemy, and Eddie had no more choice left; Joules had taken that from him.

“[Arcade Fire]!”

There was a bright flash, like the terrifying birth of a star centered around Eddie. [Do Dope Fuck Hope] hadn’t closed the gap yet. Joules shielded his eyes. Lorelei screamed into the water. The water at his ankles began to boil.

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Joules pulled the towel tight around his shoulders. He watched the EMT and firefighters scurry around the flooded diner. A police officer took diligent notes from a confused Marlene. The taller man who’d come out with Eddie was carried out on a stretcher to an ambulance, still breathing.

“Everything’s taken care of here then,” one of the firefighters told them. “It looks like bad wiring caused a short. That, coupled with those older than dirt pipes bursting, looks to be the problem.

No one mentioned anything about their confrontation, whether they knew better than to, or had no idea about, it didn’t matter. The diner was most likely done for good. NEarly every bit of electronics, wiring, or plumbing had failed catastrophically. Hopefully, Marlene had insurance.

Lorelei passed him a bottle of water. “Thirsty?”

One of the EMTs half-jogged towards them. Apparently, Lorelei had slipped away, already bored with the young man’s routine procedures.”

“There you are,” he said. “You’ve got some nasty burns and bruises. Let me get you something for that.”

“I’m fine, really,” she said, waving him away.

Two more EMTs came out of the diner. In a stretcher between them lay the body of Eddie Oakley. He wasn’t moving.

“What happened to him?” Lorelei asked.

“I’m not sure, actually,” the EMT said. “Aside from some burns on his hands, he looked perfectly fine. It’s like he just keeled over. Maybe everything happening at once was too much for him and he just failed.”

“Pacemaker,” a weak voice from the other stretcher said. They all turned to face him. Every inch of his exposed skin was covered in blisters and peeling skin. “Eddie had a pacemaker. He was acting weird lately. It must have shorted out.”

One of the EMTs put an oxygen mask on the man and dabbed his skin with a cloth. The officer who’d been speaking with Marlene trudged over towards the stretcher to take a statement before the ambulance departed. Satisfied it was all there in his notes, he waved them on, and the ambulance departed.

The officer replaced the EMT in front of Joules and Lorelei. His face said it was too damn early on a Saturday to be dealing with this. Joules agreed. He took their statements, though he and Loreiel were quick to leave out the part about invisible psychic ghosts and supernatural phenomena.

“Do you need to call anybody to come get you?”

“We’ve got a ride, thanks,” Lorelei said with her best girl-next-foor smile. Though being soaked in water, covered in sopping wet clothes diminished her aura. Just a little bit.

When the officer got bored and wandered off, Lorelei turned to Joules.

“What was your plan?” she asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you knew what he was capable of. I saw you make a move. What was your plan?”

Of course, he hadn’t had one to begin with, and anything he said now was less impressive. Their victory had been a lucky one. Joules had made a snap decision, and it had almost cost the both of them their lives.

“I didn’t have one,” he said. “It just felt like the right thing to do.”

She stared at him for a moment, cultivating a wicked pout. On the inside she must have been fuming at his flippant disregard for their safety, but outwardly, she wouldn't be able to argue with their results.

“Next time I get to play hostage negotiator, and you get to be dead weight,” she finally said.

“Deal.”

Of course there would be a next time. This was his life now, and as much as he wasn’t ready for it, he had to accept it and face it, whatever it took. Eddie had been offered that same choice, and he’d let it destroy him. Joules believed with all his heart that Eddie meant to end it all with that last attack. He’d flown too close to the sun, however, and Eddie’s journey had ended before it really even began.

They waited in silence for a few minutes as the general activity dispersed from the scene. In the distance, Joules heard the sound of a car pull off the road and into the parking lot. A sleek black coupe passed the police cars and firetrucks before stopping in front of Lorelei and Joules. An old man, maybe in his mid seventies gripped the wheel. A thich grey mustache dominated his tightly drawn face, covering the entirety of his upper lip. He raised his sunglasses. The stone on Joules back began to pulse.

“Do you kids need a ride?”

To be continued...