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JoJos' Bizarre Adventure: Golden Road
Ch. 4 Tijuana Brass (Part 3)

Ch. 4 Tijuana Brass (Part 3)

Savant

What the hell was up with him? It hasn’t been too long since he got home, but it sounded like he was freaking out over something, and god dammit, looks like he’s bringing something to my house again. The only thing I have to worry about is if he makes a mess of the kennel.The last time he pulled something like this I had to blame it on an actual animal. Not like that's too far off. I wonder if maybe I should just give him a pen that I haven't cleaned yet. Course’ if he wants to put a person in there then I’ll have to give him a clean one and try to fix what he started.

My cell starts ringing again. Tat is trying to reach me now?

“Sup?”

“Hey do you think you can come down to my place? I need you for something.”

“I”m not putting the fucking mask on.”

“Yeah, yeah, that's fine, just get over here alright”

“Uh huh, okay. Axel will probably be coming too.”

“He’s with you?”

“Not yet, He needs to put something in one of my kennels apparently.”

“Again? Just give him one of the dirty ones.”

“What if it’s a person though?”

“Just give him one of the dirty ones.”

Then she hangs up. Good to hear she’s in a good mood.

Axel

I’ve made my way to the horse ranches just outside of where people actually live. Tijuana Brass, at least I think that’s its name, hasn’t let up with its pursuit of me, but I’m beginning to run out of steam. I need something faster than me to get to Savant’s house.

Most of the people who live around here are into some off-road shit, and if I’m lucky, I can find an ATV or fuck even just a normal goddamn bike. I jump a low fence and make my way through one of these horse ranches to hopefully find anything that can get me moving. As luck would have it, there are some people, one of them getting ready to start showing off on their dirt bike. I glance behind me again and see that thing close behind. I can’t slow down now. Otherwise, it will catch me, meaning, “Hey! Hey! I need help!” I start screaming and waving my arms toward the guys, “I don’t give a fuck who! Just help!” They look at me cautiously as I quickly approach them and, more importantly, the bike.

The guy who was about to get on the bike began walking towards me. “Hey…”

Right as I got up to him, I threw a clean punch into the guy’s face, knocking him down. His friends stood in shock, confused as to what was happening.

I immediately jumped on the bike and gave it some gas. As I drive off, “I’ll bring it back, I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Right back, I promise!” Fuck! Yeah, that’s what I needed today, an assault charge. But hey, there’s an invisible robot ghost chasing me. What else can I do? I need this bike to get away from it, but I’ll bring it back soon, buddy. How the fuck else was I supposed to get it quick without stealing it. Fuck! Assault and theft! Fuck!

I take an exit behind the stables and continue my way towards Savants’ place. I was able to outrun TB pretty easily on foot, so a motorbike should be leaving this thing in the dust.

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I turn the first corner to get back on the main road, and the damn machine just falls from the sky and lands right fucking in front of me. I quickly swerve out of its way and barely catch myself.

It fell from the sky?! Is that how it got in front of me before? It jumped just to get in front of me? There was something different this time though, it wasn’t wielding anything. The only reason I managed to swerve out of the way was purely out of instinct. Still, if I hadn’t, I probably could have completely destroyed that thing or disable it at least.

I look back at the restless machine, and for a brief moment, we locked eyes at one another. I could feel its focus and cold murderous intent. It’ll keep pursuing, it’ll keep up, it’ll jump in front of me again. I’m not too far from Savant’s house now. I won’t stop this time. If it wants to pull that stunt again, I’ll fucking rip through it this time.

I rev up the engine again and begin racing towards Savant's house. I didn't get too far before I see it land in front of me again. I immediately notice that it isn't wielding anything again. If it really thinks that same shit is going to work again, it's free to try again. I'm not stopping for anything this time; come at me, you bitch!

I gave the bike more gas and blazed down the road. Hold on… I slow down a bit to look around. I don't see it. It's no longer even behind me. What just happened? It was attacking me earlier without worrying about anything else.

I don't let up on the gas and make it to Savant's place. I quickly jump off the bike and force open the sliding fence. I run across the gravel parking lot and run right into Savant's door and start banging on his door. "Savant, open the fuck up!"

"Yeah yeah yeah yeah! Fuck man!" Savant opens up the door. "Alright, what bullshit did you bring to my house?"

"Listen, something is chasing me. You can't see it, but I promise you it's there." I check behind me quickly one more time to make sure It didn't sneak up on me.

"Hmmmm."

"Hmmmm? Do you think I'm making this up?"

"I believe that you believe it." Savant casually leaves his house and heads over to the gate leading to the pens.

"The fuck does that even mean, bastard" Before I could really lay into him, I hear metal fall to the ground. Looking back to where I parked the bike. It's knocked over, and standing over it is the machine. As we lock eyes, it begins to march forward. "OI! It's here, man! It's near the gate and making its way towards us!"

Savant comes out from the pen area with an ax in hand, looking towards the gate, "Oh yea?"

"The fuck?"

Savant scanning out the lot, "How big is it?"

"I… It's a machine almost double my height" Why the hell did he bring out an ax. What does he think I'm talking about?

"So! You're telling me there is a giant metal machine that only you can see, walking towards us right now?"

It's slow, but that stupid machine is halfway across the parking lot now. "Yes! We need to move. I have…"

Savant runs up towards the machine and swings the ax into its neck "Well shit. I hit something." He keeps putting pressure on the ax and completely rips through the machine's neck. "Uh… what's happening, man?"

The machine begins to fall apart and disappear just like it did back home. "Actually, you just finished it off."

"Ah, fuck! Is that a bad thing? You said it came from the box, right?"

"I didn't, but it did. Hey… did you actually believe me?"

Savant collects himself and looks me dead in the eyes with a slight grin. "Oh fuck no, dude, did you hear the garbage coming out of your mouth."

"Uh…"

“Once I came back out, I looked out to where you were pointing and noticed that something was making footprints in the gravel.”

“After grabbing the ax?”

“I mean, yea.”

“Why was your first reaction to get an ax?”

Savant looks down at the ax briefly. “Oh. I kinda thought someone was punking you, so I was either going to scare them off or beat them with the blunt side.”

That’s a quick escalation man, “I guess it worked out then. Since I’m here, ya think you can give me a lift to Tat’s place?”

Savant gives me a confused look. “Didn’t you just come here by motorcycle, though?”

Oh right. “Actually, this looks a lot like the motorcycle one of the stablemen just bought.”

Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck fuck fuck.

Savant takes a few minutes without looking at me until finally. “I’m not an accessory to this. Fix it.”

To be continued