A Word From The Author
This book is not in any way, shape, or form encouraging or promoting self-harm and/or suicide. If you have any sorrow, share it with others. The longer you are in the dark, the longer you will saturate yourself with it. It is never too late to try to make friends who will help you feel better, so what are you waiting for? Go enjoy your life!
Please do not choose the other route…
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Prolougue
Suicide. The world is plagued by too much of this word. In today’s media, the term “I’m gonna kill myself” is seen as a joke.
Because let’s be real. Who would ACTUALLY kill themselves over some stupid stuff that happened in their lives?
Nonetheless, there are many people who become overwhelmed by the need to do the deed, and quite frankly, it’s laughable.
Who would be so weak as to have to quit life early?
There’s no point to even committing suicide..Honestly, even if you were brain-dead and given the option to end it all, what would the point even be?
In the end, you may as well make your life of some value.
Hell, the nurse would probably love you. You’re giving her a job that allows her to put food on the table.
Who cares if you’re suffering?
You’re you, and they’re them.
These are the rules that are followed by a certain kid in the small town of Shifuku. Shifuku was quite a quiet town. Most of the history is still standing and being used, as the worn brick buildings are inhabited by old women running “antique” shops. The suburbs are typically clean, and tolerate only a few houses that are unbearable appearance-wise. The cracked sidewalks are a bother to no one, and in the early months of fall, the trees give off a beautiful glisten of orange-reddish colors. With little to no traffic in the town streets, the only noise you usually hear is that of the highway in the middle of town, which if not for that, would make the town virtually dead. In the center of town is the River Shoturo. This river is the very reason the town came to be, and as such, is memorialised and treasured among all the residents as a sustainable water source, and also as a place to make memories with family and friends. Nothing was really wrong with this town.
Now it is nothing but rubble. And believe it or not, all due to one man’s incapability to stop it’s imminent destruction.
This man is Yami Shinpai. While he was only 16 years old at the time of the town’s destruction, it truly undermines him to call him a child.
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Chapter 1 - Peace and Agony
“Ain’t-no-tellin’-what-I’m-feelin’. I’M BEYOOOOND-”
A slam that could be heard a mile away came from Yami Shinpai’s room as he slammed his fist down onto his alarm clock. The young boy groggily began to wake up, and put on his favorite shirt, as well as a pair of blue jeans. As he looked at the time, he began to feel anxious.
“Today’s the day!” He thought to himself.
That day, he performed his routine the same as any other day. Grabbing his backpack, he darted down the stairs, jumping from the third step, then preparing a glass of chocolate milk within a few seconds of which was already drank completely. After he brushed his teeth. He looked in the mirror one last time, truly glaring into his reflection’s eyes. His light blue eyes glistened, and his freshly gelled hair looked crisp as it formed a faux hawk. His grin extended across his face as he popped his collar.
“Today’s the day I’ll ask out Shippai!”
He made himself a promise that very moment that he would not fail this girl like he did the last one as he zipped up his collar and left his household. It was the last meet of the track season, and Yami was planning on asking a young girl named Shippai if she’d like to start seeing him. As Yami threw his last shot 35 feet, a new personal record for that season, his confidence grew tenfold. As he approached the bus, he caught Shippai just before boarding and asked if she minded if he sat next to her. Shippai gladly obliged, as they had been friends since the fourth grade, As Yami sat next to her, he began to shake. If he wasn’t sitting down, he’s knees would be buckling at that moment. Shippai simply stared out the window. Yami gulped as the bus ride home started, and turned to her.
“So Shippai, there’s actually something I’ve been needing to ask you…”
The happy Shippai turned to look at Yami, replying with a “What’s up?”
As Yami felt his cheeks begin to turn red, he looked away, if only for a brief moment. Butterflies fluttered in his stomach. He thought of every moment with her up until now, giving him a burst of relief, and he turned to face her again, this time more determined.
“I….”
His voice trailed off as he stared into her beautiful blue eyes and red hair, which was now flowing with the wind due to the open window on the bus.
“...well?” Shippai said, as if she did not pick up on anything.
“I… I… I really, really want to date you!” As Yami said this, he looked down. “I cannot guarantee anything, but I will do my absolute best to please you, so if you please just try to let me show the love I’ve been feeling for you, surely I can-” Yami was stopped as he looked back up, just to see her staring outside the window of the bus. They were nearing home, and Yami began to feel worried.
“Shippai, I understand if you don’t want to, but at least let me know why. Please, you’re the only person I lo-”
“Shut up.” Shippai looked at Yami with furrowed eyebrows. The anger was present on her facial expression.
“You ask me something like that? How dare you think I could ever love you. This is all some stupid prank, isn’t it?”
“It’s not, I swea-”
“YAMI, I DO NOT LIKE JOKES!”
Yami began to tear at this statement.
”You truly think this is just a joke?”
“Wait, you're not joking?” Shippai began to laugh in his face, but not long after she looked at him with anger again.
If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.
”I don’t know if you think just because you lost your mother I’d feel bad for you and marry you, but you’re sure as hell not anywhere near dating material. Don’t speak to me ever again.”
And with that, the bus came to a halt, and Shippai shoved Yami out of the seat and exited the bus. Yami walked home that night, feeling more lonely than he could ever remember. As he arrived at his doorstep at 9 p.m., the sun had already set, and the full moon shined brightly above his house.
As he entered, he already heard his sister, Reikoku Shinpai yelling for him. As he begrudgingly walked into the kitchen where his sister called for him, Reikoku looked at him with displeasure.
“Where the hell have you been. You realize how long it has taken me to do your chores? I have shit to do you worthless piece of shit!” As Reikoku said this, Yami simply nodded, and began to walk away.
From the living room, he heard his father yelling for him as well.
“YOUR GODDAMN SISTER HAD TO DO ALL OF YOUR CHORES AND SHE HASN’T STOPPED BITCHING SINCE! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU! YOUR MOTHER AND I SHOULD’VE GOTTEN RID OF YOU!” Yami simply nodded to this as well, and walked back up the stairs and laid his backpack on the ground. It was like this everyday. Since his mother passed, these sort of remarks were made to him regularly, and he frankly didn’t care. His sister, nor his father never showed him any love or support, and were never pleased with what he had done. But nonetheless, they demanded everything be perfect from him. Although he was but a mere 14 years old, they treated him as though he were an adult, with his father constantly stating he”wouldn’t make it in the real world.”
“If I won’t make it in the real world,” he thought to himself, “I’ll make myself known in the online world.” With this mindset, Yami began scrounging through the deep web, as that was his favorite place to explore. He soon found himself at his favorite deep web page, Shénmi’s Corner.
As soon as he clicked the archives link though, he found himself at a page claiming that the website had been shut down, right then and there. He sat at the screen blankly for a moment, then smiled, as he saved Shénmi’s e-mail, which through complicated methods and know-how, he could find the new website Shénmi had been rumored to have started.In doing this, he only found a blank page. He knew all about Shénmi’s ways, and opened his browser's developer tools and began to scroll through the HTML code. He found only one thing. It was a message from Shénmi himself, saying only this:
Never leave yourself in the dark. If you are truly thinking about committing suicide, don’t. Talk to someone - ANYONE! Christ, even I’LL talk to you, and if you don’t heed my warning, yet you fail, or rather, survive, contact me. We’ll talk. Here’s my info:
With that, there was a long hash - more than likely his e-mail encrypted. Yami chuckled slightly at this before biting his lip and becoming upset. How could this have happened so easily? Rather, so suddenly? What could’ve possibly happened that’d make Shénmi shut down his website, as well as leave some cryptic message? Yami began to ponder this, but soon he found himself drawn back into his despair. As he slowly drifted into sleep, he began to cry. The sorrow he felt then was too much for him to handle, yet he felt as though there had to be some reason for his being.
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Two months passed, with his life not changed at all for the better. The only the aspect of his daily life was now that he was out of school for the summer, he had far more chores to complete before his sister and father had returned home to yell at him some more, and far less time to converse with his friends, which was the only part of his day he could enjoy.
One day, however, his life changed completely. He just had enough of his life. Yami paced around his living room for hours after he had awoken from his slumber, which at this point, had become this best part of his life. The thought of never waking up again sounded so magical to Yami. At the same time, he found himself crying and in anger, asking himself the same question:
“Why aren’t I good enough! What more must I do?!?!”
With tears now streaming down his face, Yami furrowed his eyebrows.
“I’ve had enough of this shitty life. There’s nothing for me to accomplish anyways. I’m just waiting to hopefully give birth to a kid who can surpass me and right my wrongs. Even then, I’ll probably mess that up too.”
With a chuckle, Yami loaded a 20 gauge shotgun, and cocked it. He looked at the time on his wristwatch. The time was 11:21 a.m.
“I lose. You win, world.”
Yami closed his eyes, and began to think of all his experiences up until this point. Smiling, he held the shotgun underneath his chin, and pulled the trigger. He heard a click, and he felt his mind explode.
That's when everything became surreal for him. He no longer felt any sense of sadness, anger, nor happiness. Just peace and tranquility. Yami’s once tightened up face had now become relaxed, and his tears dried soon after that. Yami breathed a sigh of relief.
“Grand, isn’t it?”
Yami quickly glanced over his shoulder and opened his eyes. All Yami could see was a blinding white sheet of fog, which was equally blinding as it was shrouding. Through the immense fog of white, he saw a silhouette of a rather fit looking man. Yami squinted as he tried to make out this strange figure, and began to adjust to the brightness of the engulfing white.
“Hello?” Yami asked. “Who are you? Where are we?”
The figure remained still.
“This world must seem far more peaceful than any others, yes?” The figure turned to look at Yami. In the spot where a face would be was nothing more than a mere mannequin-esque head.
“Though, now that I think about it, you must have never experienced another world before. Well, not that you can recollect anyways. All you can remember is your world, Toskophium, or as you know it, Earth. Regardless, you have no place doing anything here, do you? I can see it on your face. You are unaware of what this place is and are confused as to who I am. Though I must say, I am intrigued as to the fact that I cannot sense any fear from you. Most Pǔbiàn Fǎnxiǎng are at first, if not only a little, scared of me. Tell me what led you here, Yami Shinpai.”
Yami’s expression suddenly changed in response to hearing his name.
“Who the hell is this guy, and how does he know my name?”
“If you don’t know who I am, just ask.” Yami looked back even more shocked than before. The uneasy feeling he had felt in his stomach began to strengthen as he clutched his abdomen.
“Who are you, how do you know my name, and where the hell are we?”
The figure remained motionless, staring at Yami as if he could see into his very existence and reach the darkest recesses of his mind. Yami felt a cold shiver flow down his back, and the figure began to move towards Yami. Yami began to feel the urge to run away, but could not bring himself to it. Yami simply stood where he was, only as the figure approached nearer, he felt his fists clench tighter, and sweat began to drip down the side of his head.
The figure stopped 3 feet away from Yami and continued staring into him.
“I am now beginning to sense fear, but worry not, I shall not harm you. You asked three questions, and as such, I will provide three answers. To begin with, I cannot give you a name for who I am. Many humans have tried to come up with a suiting name for me, but neither religious nor scientific believers have even come close to identifying me. As you may have guessed, I know everything. I know what you are thinking right now, what will happen at the end of our little conversation, how many people will enter the local market in two years, 45 minutes and 23 seconds from now, and even how you will die.”
Yami began to feel a pain under his jaw. As he rubbed it, a sense of shock came over him as he remembered what had just transpired.
“How I’ll die? Didn’t I just die?”
“No, you are very much alive. This, I suppose, shall lead into your third question. As I had mentioned earlier, there are different worlds. This is, simply put, just another world. Unlike Toskophium, however, this world is my own.”
“Your own world? You mean you share this place with no other people or animals?”
“Typically, yes. I am alone. But there are certain circumstances, such as this, where people, such as you, attempt to barge their way into my domain. I’m sure you’ve already remembered what you did to come to this place, don’t you?”
Yami simply gulped and nodded.
“What is going to happen to me?” Yami asked this with a calm and collected voice.
“What you should be asking is not what will happen to you, but rather what you will do. As I said earlier, many people attempt to come into this realm, but only a handful manage to make it through. Those who come in and entertain me are granted a gift. This gift is one that is beyond normal comprehension. And whether or not you can use it depends on how strong you are. You may choose to take this gift, and I shall give it to you, or you may choose to not take this gift, and you may leave empty handed with no memory of what occurred in this little blackout period. The choice is yours.”
Yami clenched his fists tight, and chuckled.
“You said it earlier, that you know everything, so you know what I choose.”
The figure blankly stared back at Yami as he began to raise his right arm.
“Raise your left arm.”
Yami, still sweating, began to raise his left arm, and the figure hovered it’s hand over his.
“Do not move. I must examine you to truly see if you are worthy.”
“I thought you already knew,” Yami said laughingly. Nonetheless, Yami found none of this humorous.
“How am I not dead? No, what is the guy going to do to me? I really messed up big time.”
An oddly bright darkness began radiating from the figure’s hand, which quickly engulfed Yami’s.This strange light began to cause a burning sensation in Yami’s hand.Yami yelled out in pain.
“Hmmm… You are worthy. Are you ready to receive my gift?”
Yami, still recovering from the pain he had just felt, looked up at the figure and silently nodded. The light began to radiate from the figure onto Yami again, once again with the same excruciating pain. The light began to travel up Yami’s arm, eventually wrapping itself all around his body. As soon as Yami’s body had been completely covered in this shroud of light, the figure moved its hand away from Yami, and, screaming in agony, Yami began to stumble around, pawing at his body.
“Congratulations on becoming this century’s new Jinsei no Hogo! Feel free to drop by if it overwhelms you!”
With that, Yami fell over and began to go unconscious as the figure walked away.