It's not often that a lesbian shapeshifting magical assassin has a knock on the door at 3:45 in the afternoon on a Sunday. Usually, we either get the door blown off, or we're already busy at work shapeshifting and magically assassinating someone. Otherwise, we tend to lie-in, go down to the local 'spoons for a Sunday roast, mooch back home and lounge about a bit then have afternoon tea and cake, following by more lounging. We like our Sundays to be restful. 

'Wommetgeddit?' asked Dawn around a mouthful of Victoria sponge and Assam loose-leaf tea.

'No, you're fine, wouldn't want to scare whoever it is away,' I grumbled as pushed myself up from my oxblood oxford and lowered the Bakeswell slice I'd been about to devour. Casting spells and whatnot requires a high-level of calorific intake. Cake was key to that intake.

None of the Wards we'd set on the house had been set off, which was strange. Living in Kirton and Crediton as we do (a split universe/time thing, Dr. Who would be jealous), we had to set a number of Wards that would keep non-magical members of the community, Mundanes, away. Especially as in both times the thought of two women living together was still a cause for salacious gossip amongst those of the older generation.

Looking through the keyhole I saw nothing. Well, not nothing per se, just no-one outside. Closing the keyhole, I muttered a few curses to myself when there was another knock on the door. From about half-way. Doing what I should have done the first time, I flicked on the CCTV screen and stared at the human outside.

About 4-foot tall, she stood sucking on a thick strand of hair whilst looking at the door with a screwed up face. It was a child. Definitely not a small human, a child. Which is why the Wards hadn't triggered. She was too innocent (hopefully) to trip the Detect Evil Intent Wards, too small a body mass to trip the Bad Hombre Wards  (Dawn's naming system, not mine) and didn't have any Magic herself so hadn't tripped any of the Detect Magic Wards. Even running through the names in my head made my brain ache. Dawn played way too much D'n'D up at Kirton Games.

Another knock shook me from my reverie. Taking another look I could see that she was determined to keep knocking until someone answered the door.

'Bollocks.' Putting on what I hoped was a friendly smile, I opened the door.

'You the witch?' Well, she was forthright.

'Ummm. No. I work for the government.'

'As a witch?' She was also determined.

'No, I work in law.' My face ached from keeping the smile on.

The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

'Killing bad witches?'  I felt as if my mouth was tearing as the grin stretched further.

'No. Just law.'

'Everyone says you're a witch. My nan says you're the witch. She says she has the Sight and can see magic and stuff as part of your or-a.'

'Aura.' Dammit. I wasn't used to kids and I certainly wasn't used to them grilling me on the doorstep like this. 

'Ha!' She grinned and pointed at me like something out of the Body Snatchers, 'I knew you was a witch!'

'What do you want you little shit?' I bit my lip as the words tumbled out before I could stop them. I was, as my previous - traitorous - mentor would have said, "discombobulated".

'Ummm, you fuckin' said shit.' she said in a sing-song voice. I cringed with each swear word, an all-too-familiar heat rushing into my cheeks.

'Sorry. What do you want. Little girl?' I deliberately messed with my intonation. Sometimes it helps people focus. Like this time.

'Chadrick Shoeshine is missing. I want you to find him.' Her bottom lip trembled as she spoke and she cast her eyes to the ground.

'Who's that?'

'My friend. Only I can see him. He's missing. He started acting all funny, then all scared and in the end he said he had to run away or some bad people would come and get us. My friend Shanice said her friend Badger was gone too,' she paused and looked at me, 'she was too scared to come and speak to you. Because you're a witch.'

'I'm not a fu… I'm not a witch …' I cocked my head, raised an eyebrow and hoped she'd take the visual cue.

'Cassandra, Cassie for short. Cass if you're a friend. You can call me Cass. Hello!' She bent at the waist and waved past me.

'Hello there, I'm Dawn,' said my assistant as joined me in the door. 'What's going on?'

'My friend Chadrick Shoeshine is missing. I was asking your girlfriend if she'd help me.'

'She's not my girlfriend,' I said through gritted teeth. As much as I wished she wasn't, Dawn was one hundred per cent into men. 

'Well, my nan and her friend Phyllis say you are. I heard them whispering, saying that you were lemon lovers.'

Dawn nudged me in the side, 'She wishes! We just live together. Share the bills and stuff.'

'Anyway,' I said, clapping my hands together, 'I'm not a witch and I don't work in the Department of Missing Imaginary Friends.' And with that I nudged Dawn back and closed the door.

'Boss, that was fucking rude,' said Dawn as she folded her arms, for an apprentice she could be damned bossy. 'You could see she was upset at losing her friend, imaginary or not. And she's not bloody leaving,' she finished as there was a very determined thump on the door. Followed by another thump much lower down. I glanced at the CCTV.

'She's kicking the door,' said Dawn nudging me out of the way this time and opening the door. 'Please don’t kick the door, it doesn't like it.'

She had a point. If the kid was able to summon up enough strength to register as a threat, she was likely to be blasted across the street.

'I can pay,' said Cass.

'How much?' I asked, just to see whether she was serious.

'I've got about £10 from my birthday, and Shanice has £5 and some coins.'

'Tell you what,' said Dawn as she knelt down to Cass' height, 'how you give us a good description of Mr. Shoeshine, and we'll see if we can do a search.'

My eyes rolled so hard I could have sworn I saw into the past. Still, as Cass beamed with delight, I realised that I could leave Dawn to deal whilst I returned to my Bakewell slice. I said as much, ignored a glare from Dawn and returned Cass' smile and wave. Dawn's face said it all; whether I thought this was a good idea. Whether we were actually going to get paid for it, we had a Mark.