James straightened out his tie on his crisp, clean suit that he had recently washed and ironed.

"James, your mission hasn't changed. We both need to hold tight on to any leads we can get so we can find Madskull." Kelly said, wearing another crisp and clean suit that James had also recently washed and ironed.

"Got it." James said to the woman in front of him, Kelly Drake, co-survivor of what had become known as Raze 1, the incident that had wiped out an entire MI6 base.

"James, you are as versatile as you are intelligent." Kelly said, "I mean, these suits have been in use for years but these look brand new." She said.

"I wish I could hold up some detergent, say a tagline, hear some jingle from an advertisement and be done with this reality. I mean, look, Raze 1 took out a huge chunk of M16 agents. Not to mention we're being hunted." James said.

"James, you're a pretty respectable guy."

"Thanks."

"But you need to lose the attitude. I know this is a big thing that's happening, but nonetheless we must remain professional."

"Absolutely." James replied.

"From what little intelligence I've gathered about Madskull it seems like they have two messengers, informants, in the field."

"Let me guess, my job is to find an attractive babe at a bar, deliver a pickup line or two, and ask her a few questions back at my place." James predicted.

"Umm... no."

"No?" James said.

"We don't need to develop a relationship with the enemy." Kelly said.

"But I'll do it like Bond did." He said.

"How did Bond do it?"

"Well, he took her back to his fancy apartment with a good view of the beach, gave her a massage, and then-"

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"You aren't like Bond, and that's the beauty of it. While he was a playboy, you seek a steady relationship with a woman."

"That's good, right?"

"Only if you want to have a happy life with children, and a wife who loves you."

"Kelly?"

"Yes?"

"Umm... well... yeah..."

"Just say it, Bland."

"Umm will... would..."

"What?" she said, growing a bit impatient.

"Nothing! Nothing is wrong!" Bland said, eyes darting around wildly.

"Okay?" Kelly said, a bit caught off guard by the sudden crazed outburst.

"Professionalism, it's what counts." Bland said, returning to his original demeanor and giving thumbs up, forcing a weak smile out of himself.

"Yeah, good, right." Kelly said, returning the gesture and facial expression.

"So, look for a girl who calls herself 'Needle' okay?"

"Absolutely." Bland said.

"I'll be tracking a guy codenamed 'Warden'. Now, we'll be obviously separated in the field so I made these." she said, holding up a tin that prominently displayed the word 'MINTS' on the front cover.

"I thought I brushed my teeth just fine." Bland said.

"No, hold one up to your mouth and speak into It." she said, opening the tin revealing an assortment of small mints.

"So they're like radio breath mints?" James asked.

"In fact, M.I.N.T. is an acronym. It means," she cleared her throat and began to recite: "Mega Intelligent New Trans-communicator. They have a number of uses. Spying, communication, tracking, a few of these are even actual breath mints."

"Neat." He said.

James started walking toward the exit of his hospital room.

"Stop," Kelly said, "how are you going to get information if you don't know how to?" she asked.

"I assumed I'd just wing it when the time came."

"The art of gathering information is an important one, James," she said, "You can't just 'wing it' like you say you will. You need training." She said.

"Who should I ask for training of that kind?" he asked.

"You're looking at her."

"First order of business," Kelly said, pacing back and forth in front of James, "you need to strike up a conversation with her about something. Here's a list of topics I pulled off the internet that might be interesting to women." She handed him a thin stack of papers.

He scanned it, eyes darting back and forth, until he concluded:

"None of these interest me in any way. How could someone be interested at all in this stuff?"

"Did you check my pick-up lines index in the back? Maybe that could start one regardless of an actual topic. You know, your attention to details might actually be an interesting conversation all in itself."

"A few of these are kind of interesting," James said, "but they're missing excitement."

"Write me a list of what kind of conversations you'd like to have that could lead to information gathering in the next few minutes." She said, turning to walk out the door of the hospital room.

"Alright," he said, "but there's a weird question I'd like to ask before you go."

"What's that?" she replied.

"How can one exactly have a party in their pants?"