The trees passed me by. I got drenched in the moist air of the night. At least, I was full for now, for Nodelyn made something for me to eat when I went home after practice. It was a quick snack before me and Leon left to fetch the golden boy.
I hoped there was some chicken left over for tomorrow.
My desire was to try and sneak out a piece of it before morning hunger woke us. Leon’s car now carried three of us from Santa Cruz.
The rearview mirror gave me a wholly odd view. Rian sat in the back of the Audi with Leon driving. Rian rocked from side to side as if he was scared of looking outside.
All of us have been silent after we picked him up from the therapist. Leon almost never wanted to do it. Donavan begged him since he had to drive to collect some pads that were repaired by the owner.
So, here we were, three men, one car, and only one of them were a homosexual, fantastic. The only reason I bothered coming with Leon was that he was taking me to pick up some females.
It wasn't that I cared, but I might as well go.
Leon turned the car. My phone rang bumping the methodical Gaza God’s Summertime into the car. Everyone shivered like happy days were here again. I looked at the screen. It was Nodelyn, so I refused to answer. Two more calls made Leon bob his head to the lyrics, damn, even Rian nodded his head to it.
“Yo, is that your girlfriend?” Leon asked. I paused then he smirked as his eyes slid up at me briefly before returning to the road. Looking flustered, I tried to relax my body.
“No, sister,” I retorted.
“Who, sexy body Nodelyn or do you have other sisters?”
I frowned, “Man youth, build.”
“I'm just asking,” he replied.
I groaned, because I knew I was fighting a higher power with my disdain for men going at my sister.
Leon laughed. “You must be tired of being your sister’s cashier.” He cleared his throat. “Can I get a side order of breast, lots of pepp—” He already started laughing. “Lots of pepper, please! Hold on, then you say, would you like that at the house or the hotel?”
Leon burst out laughing and I could not have held off the smile on my face. I looked at the rearview, and even Rian was laughing.
“Wait there, how you find that funny Rian, remember you is a funny man. I don’t see why you are laughing,” I said.
Rian quirked an eyebrow as Leon laughed louder. "I was not laughing at your stupid joke, I was laughing at how stupid you guys are," replied Rian.
Leon said, “Whoooa…” A grin widened on his face as he turned off onto the next road. “Yo, Rian you need to get a taste of women before you can speak on such matters. You think so Prix?”
“It look so. Him need some holy ghost. The lady’s breast special must baptize him,” I answered.
Leon laughed as Rian fired back. “Very funny.”
“No, you are funny,” I replied.
Leon laughed harder.
Rian replied, “Would you guys stop that, I am not gay.”
“After what you said at the church, everybody thinks you are.” Leon pointed out.
“What did he really say at that church anyway, actually which church was it?” I asked.
“Not the lame one, it was Clifton’s church,” Leon said. He pointed back with his thumb at Rian, “This dude come back a church, after so many months whe’ Clifton don’t see him right and you know how Clifton stay? Clifton draw Rian out of the crowd and him a talk 'bout how he was happy Rian returned, right? Boooy Pastor mention him PTSD and all a make sermon outside pon the church grounds with it. Rian flip man youth, he literally get mad.”
This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
I looked back at Rian. He had cut his eyes away from my gaze. PTSD, what was that? Was it some infection?
“Then what?” I asked.
Leon continued, “Rian and Pastor end up in a big war of words. Pastor called Rian ungrateful and one bag of things, Rian slaughter the pastor religion like seh it was a punching bag. Honestly, looking back, Rian win the war though.”
I blurted out, “Lie yuh a tell!”
Leon said, “Dead serious, ‘member Pastor Clifton was just calling him names and the Lord’s name in vain. Rian call out Clifton matey name, plus him one-two touch with the last assistant that work at the church. Rian destroyed the pastor on the lawn that day.”
“Wait,” I said, then I looked at Rian, who had furrowed his brow, “You know Clifton matey? Clifton was cheating on him wife? With who?”
Leon interjected, “What was the name…I think…Cottontail, yes, it was she.”
“Bloodfire! How you know that?!” I asked Rian.
Rian widened his eyes and muttered, “Everybody knows that. A just true nobody nah brave enough to call him out on it. But the one about him touching his assistant I did not know. She left that employment quick, I don’t blame her. Kind of feel sorry for the current one. No young woman should be touched by no crusty old man you feel me,” Leon said.
I nodded to that, but had to ask, “So, how the gay thing, come in though?”
“Soon get to that, so Rian a peel off Pastor Clifton head back haaarrd! Clifton come back with a—” Leon heightened his voice and like an orator said, “The lord said we should mult-ti." We already started laughing.
“We should multiply and be fruitful!” Leon finished to my roaring laughter, but Leon was not done yet. "Hear Rian now, him say, ‘You is a disgrace to the community, if God support you I support the devil and I rather be gay than be a panty vulture like you! I could not stop laughing. I swear to God!’” Leon slammed his hand on the wheel as he laughed.
“Rian, you are the greatest! No, fi real, you are the first battyboy I actually respect, dead serious!” I exclaimed.
We laughed. Rian rolled his eyes and shook his head.
“You guys are just as idiotic as that pastor,” Rian said.
“Yo, me good with that, but dog the whole place shut down da day da.” Leon kissed his teeth, giggling lightly. “Me feel it fi your mother, she still has to go to that church every Sunday.” Leon laughed more.
“She can switch churches. Pastor Arrowood is the only pastor in Berry Hill. Clifton is a fraud,” Rian said, in a low whisper.
The thing about Arrowood was that he was more of an elder compared to the younger Clifton of forty. Arrowood presided over a Pentecostal church. Arrowood may have been here first, but he was the least prominent pastor and most reclusive. His church had just over ten people on Sunday, while Clifton had over a hundred souls on any given day, with Sunday nearing the two hundred souls in its confines.
Leon said, “Man youth hush up your mouth, all you had to do was humble yourself and keep your panties on.” I jammed the side of the car with my arm as I slid onto the car seat, laughing. Leon continued, “You decide to create a ruckus for no reason, brother. Change church, man youth no one wants to go to Arrowood’s old boring church. You can go there if you want. I am sure Arrowood would be desperate to accept you.”
I kissed my teeth. “Arrowood would not be caught dead with Rian there, remember he is the strictest out of the two.”
Rian interjected, “I don’t want to go anywhere. Know wha’…just let me out of this car, stop the car.”
Leon said, “Oy, sit your vagina down and calm your period.” I laughed. Leon continued, “Donavan said I should carry you safely home, I am carrying you safely home. Brother, you know how much people care about you, from your sister to your mother, all Donavan a fear fi you! Tallman is a hothead, he will find you and beat you. That is what I know. Donavan have we fi defend him on the road, you don’t have a soul. Come tell me ‘bout, stop the car. Sit down, we nah reach yet. We soon reach. I will stop the gay jokes, alright, just build.”
Rian looked away furrowing his brow in discontent.
“Whe’ make you throw the stone in the first place?” I directed to Rian.
“Irwin you did hear what they said about his mother? Yeah, I won’t repeat it here. I would have gotten angry too myself. Can’t blame Rian,” Leon replied.
I looked back at Rian. He stared outside and paid us no mind. What was he thinking in that overlarge ego of a head of his? In a way me and him seemed similar still, we both caused troubles for our folks. The trouble he had, was escapable.
I could not have escaped from mine even if I lived in St. Elizabeth for the rest of my life.
“Seriously, though, why Tallman and Joshua have to see us? Him and Donavan have problem?” I said to myself.
Leon made a sound. “It is me, they love.”
“Huh?” I asked.
Leon said, “Joshua and me have beef from way back. I have been avoiding him mostly out of respect for her, but him a hold grudge. I still want to know why she tell him.”
“Her? Who is this, her, him tall giraffe of a girlfriend?” I asked.
“Renee is her name,” Leon said, with a grin.
“What she tell him?” I asked.
Leon sighed. A pause followed then with a sad grin that required immense effort to show, Leon said, “That I fucked her.”
Mini-Glossary
Build - Wait
Battyboy - a derogatory term aimed at homosexuals.