It was a quiet, empty coffee shop modeled after a library.

...On second thought, I believe they’re called book cafes rather than “a coffee shop modeled after a library.”

But then again, who are we to say that this coffee shop wasn’t modeled after a library?

“Cut the useless thoughts.”

A rather charming voice echoed into my ears as it slowly brought me back to reality.

I was sitting across from a lady that could only be described with one word.

GODDESS!

With skin so white that snow paled in comparison, with a face so refined that any painter would admit defeat at the mere thought of trying to recreate it and a hair so red that even blood would not be able to paint it a shade deeper.

She wore a black tuxedo and over it was a lab coat--a rather weird choice of fashion. By no means did it conceal her beauty, but in a weird twist of taste, I rather find it quite appealing. It has its own charm.

“I’m rather flattered that you liked my choice of clothing. However I’m seriously asking you to snap back to it so we can have a conversation.”

I sighed and then answered with, “Alright...”

Ugh, why does my throat feel so dry all of a sudden?

I looked down to my cup of iced coffee that was ordered for me by the goddess lady.

I quickly raised the cup to take a a sip of it, to at least suppress the feeling from my throat.

To be quite honest, I’m not even sure what I’m about to drink.

The goddess lady said a complicated string of words that seemed like a foreign language, with the only thing I caught out of it was a long word that started with “Frap”.

“You’ve only caught that word because you thought it sounded like something else, didn’t you?”

The goddess lady said with a smirk as her eyes squinted.

Ah, she’s angry, she’s angry...

To begin with, I don’t drink coffee nevertheless iced coffee.

Although I do realize that coffee is supposed to be bitter, I just hope from the bottom of my heart that “Lots of sugar” was said somewhere within that weird lingo she used to communicate with the waitress.

Oh well, I did see them add caramel to it so it’s probably sweet.

“...”

This is...bitter!

“Done escaping to your own world?”

“...I want milk tea...”

I looked up at her with as much emotion as possible--to the point where I think a tear or two escaped me.

I want milk tea!

I don’t need bitter shit!!

What do you take me for, a masochist!?

“Eh? You aren’t?”

...I give up.

“So you’re finally ready to listen to me? Or are you admitting that you’re a masochist?”

Neither!

“Huh? Aww, and here I thought you’ll finally admit to your masochism tendencies.”

Anyways, it’s time for a flash back. A flash back!

“You’re really persistent...You don’t want to listen to me that much?”

“Of course...”

...Who’s crazy enough to talk to a person who calls herself god? More so when she has the ability to read my mind!?

She’s a goddess! Quite literally!!

“I can do way more than that...”

I know that.

...After all, I’m supposed to be dead right now.

“Bingo! You, yourself are proof of what I’m capable of. Doubting me is doubting that you’re alive, admitting that you’re dead right now...and you refuse to do that, no?”

I sighed again.

I took sip of my drink again.

I teared up again.

Fuck! Why is it coffee dammit!? I can’t taste the caramel at all!

Flash back, flash back!

----------------------------------------

Fifteen minutes before my wedding.

As I was waiting in my dressing room nervously, the door creaked open.

“Don’t be nervous!”

My older brother, Jim, entered with a smile.

“You only need to say I do, put a ring on her finger, and kiss! Other than that, just standing about and try to look dashing.”

Jim then proceeded to pat me in the back as he tried to calm me down.

I turned to look at him and gave out a smile. I bet it was an strained smile...

Jim’s expression eased up as if he was reminiscing--on the verge of saying something cheesy like ‘I never thought this day would come’ or something.

I really hope he doesn’t. That’s too cliche...

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“To be honest, I never thought this day would come.”

my body tensed up even more.

...Dammit.

Don’t be cliche man!

“I, on the other hand, always expected it!”

Jim laughed in response.

Breaking the cliche atmosphere, I was suddenly struck with a thought.

The more I thought about it, the more it sounded better.

Of course! How did I not think about this before?

“Jim!”

I suddenly shouted, “I now know how to make this special!”

Jim brushed his hair confused, “What do you mean?”

“I just had an amazing idea...I’ll do something that’s special between me and Mary during our wedding vows!”

“Oh? Do you mind telling me what you’re planning to say? And here I thought you two were going traditional.”

“Haha! No worries, no worries, I have something even better in mind. Don’t you think that writing my own vows is more sexy? Great that she’s thinking that I’m going traditional, I’ll just have to surprise her with my own vows!”

Jim looked a bit unconvinced, however he still nodded.

“Alright. Just don’t do anything stupid, okay? And make sure to keep your vows coherent, don’t try to pull anything with them...”

What does he take me for?

Of course I won’t risk it. It’s my wedding, after all~

With that being said, I promptly kicked out Jim.

As I was thinking about what I’m planning to do, time sped up and everything flashed.

Before I realized it, I was standing next to the preacher facing my beautiful soon-to-be wife.

Her white dress looked stunning, and although her face was blocked by her veil, I could not help but try making eye contact with her.

Fuck, she looks amazing.

Taking a quick look at her father, who looked both smiling yet somehow displeased, I could not help but smile.

Ha! I’ll win him over with my vows~ I’ll make him smile for real!

I then took a look at Jim, who was standing besides me as my best man, who gave me a nod.

His eyes shouted “Impress us all!”

Alright, here I go.

“I, Jack Everdeen, take you, Mary Johnson, to be my lawfully wedded,”

I then took a peek at Jim’s expression, who had a mixture of relief and depression.

Don’t worry Jim, it’s coming!

“For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us apa--Syke!”

I shouted as hard I could,

“It’s just a prank bro!”

Haha, all those times she’s been complaining to me, about how pranks nowadays are all fake...this will surely make her smile, right?

Haha, I can’t wait to see Jim’s expression.

I bet he’s holding back his laughter as hard as he could, isn’t he?

Eh? Why does he look pale?

Ahahaha, it must be because of he’s holding back his laughter as hard as possible.

Don’t worry brother, I’m holding back mine as well!

I then turn to face, who I assumed to be smiling from ear to ear, father-in-law, only to see him...switching from red to green?

Haha, so it was that funny huh. I should consider becoming a comedian.

Now then, let me perk up my ears and see what’s happening behind us...

“...”

Absolute silence.

Eh~ At least one of you try to laugh or something!

This silence is a bit frightening after all~

“Hey mommy, mommy~”

Oh! A child!! Of course he wouldn’t be able to hold back his laughter.

Haha! C’mon, let it all out! I don’t mind! After all, it’s my wedding, and I’m the one who said the joke! So don’t hold yourself back, nephew of mine!

“Why does uncle Jack doesn’t want to marry aunt Mary anymore?”

“Shh! Don’t talk!”

I heard my sister’s voice behind me trying to shush my nephew.

Eh?

Huh? How did he come to that conclusion?

...Oh fuck.

OH FUCK!

I didn’t do a setup for the joke, of course they wouldn’t understand the punchline!

Stupid me!

I fucked up, I fucked up, I fucked up!

No wonder father-in-law was turning green, he’s about to go smashing on me!

“F-Father-in-la-----”

And a straight right punch is flawlessly delivered to my chin!

With that, I blacked out.

God dammit father-in-law, it was just a prank bro!