I never thought something could happen between us. I always just wanted to protect Steve and be there for him. I didn't think there could ever be more. During the war I was quick to climb the ranks, and when it was over, I was offered a nice position, where I would only have to deal with some numbers and paperwork. That was very comfortable, as I was able to work from home. And my home was with Steve. I earned good money, and so I made a dream of mine come true, and moved to the country with him. I bought us a house, big and cozy, with just one floor, so that Steve wouldn't have to climb many stairs. The walls were kind of thin, but I was okay with that. Our bedrooms were right next to each other, so I could hear it and be with him in a flash, if he had another fit. On the other hand, he would be able to hear it, when I had a gal stay over. But I usually took them to bed with me early, so that Steve was still busy reading or listening to the radio in the living room, and didn't have to hear it. I told the girls, I wanted to bring them home afterwards, so there wouldn't be any gossip and most of them believed me. When in reality that was the reason everyone knew, which lady was my current girlfriend. And that was what I wanted!

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I pretty much went out to pick up a girl every weekend. Sometimes I was able to persuade Steve to come along, hoping some bird would turn her head for him, and that he'd get the chance to dance with one. But it never worked. Not even on that one night, when I picked up those two sisters. I actually offered them: “Say, Betty, Nancy, just a thought... How about, my buddy joins us for the fun?” I knew Steve was in the hall and could hear me, even if I couldn't see the look on his face. But I could imagine the disappointment that spread across it, when Nancy asked: “What, the short one? Are you sure he even knows what to do?” I tried to argue: “Well hey, you could teach him, isn't that something? I'm sure he would be an attentive student!” But Betty had to laugh, and giggled: “Ha, come on, he's probably so small that you can't feel a thing! So it doesn't matter, if he puts a lot of effort into it. Besides, are you sure he won't collapse?”

And then they both laughed so mean, that I freaked out and screamed: “Are you kidding me? That's my best friend you're talking about! How dare you say something like that, you have no idea, what you're talking about, you stupid cow!” The two were pretty shocked after that and quickly took their leave. I didn't bother to drive them home. If they could make fun of Steve, they might as well walk! Later when we met in the bathroom to brush our teeth, I apologized to him, saying: “Hey Steve, sorry about that just now. Those dumb dolls were just generally impolite. I'm sure they've had too much to drink.” “Yeah, they must have, otherwise they'd never come with you!”, he answered with a smile, but it wasn't sincere.

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I just didn't have any luck with women. At least concerning Steve. Whenever I entered a club or a bar in my uniform, it didn't take three minutes before some broad would fling herself at me. But I'd turn to scout for one that was a little shy, someone who would be a good match for Steve. I just wanted him to be happy so much. So I adressed some ladies that other men only looked down their noses at. There was Rachel, a more corpulent gal, but still very rough and superficial, or Cho, a little asian girl, that was even shorter than Steve, but still wanted a big man, and then Martha, a woman so tall that she even had to look down on me. I still had my best bets on her, although I could imagine that she would have been quite intimidating for Stevie.

At first she was against it, claiming: “Well first of all, if your friend doesn't even have the guts to speak to the woman himself, what should I take from that? You're really nice and it's good to get to dance with someone for a change, but just as a surrogate...” I tried to explain it to her: “Look Martha, this really isn't easy for Steve! He keeps getting rejected or even ignored and then other guys start making fun at him for trying. It often ends in a fight that I have to get him out of, just because no gal wanted him... I don't want to give him some hand-me-down of a lady, I just want him to be able to dance with someone too. And maybe more... It's just hard for him, because he's different. You understand that, don't you?” She gave it some thought and then decided, that she might be willing to give it a shot, but she didn't want to come home with me. I could understand that, not all women are that brave, or that slutty, to go home with a man they'd just met. So we agreed, that we would meet up the following week with Steve.

Sadly, Steve got sick again that week. It often happened that he'd catch a bad cold, or even pneumonia, during spring or fall. Those were some gruesome weeks, when he lay in bed, huffing, and I would try to help him get better with soup, tea, and hot water bottles. I'd never been more thankful to have a job where I could work from home. All I had to do, was bring the finished documents to the post office once a week and pick up the new work. I usually got groceries on the way and went straight home again. Then I would sit at Steve's bedside, studiyng the sheets, calculating, writing, and bring him food or his art supplies from time to time. Because when he felt better, he was always drawing something.

One time, before everything happened, I came back from town to find him crying in bed, a crumpled up paper next to him. I couldn't make out, who it was, because he had drawn over it with thick black lines, before crumpling it up, but it seemed to show a kissing couple. It broke my heart, because I knew he felt lonely. I took him into my arms. He didn't even resist, despite him usually trying to play tough whenever he was sick. We never spoke about it. A couple of days later, he acted as though nothing had happened again. At some point I was finished with my papers and said: „That's it, my work's done for today.“ And he replied: „Mine too.“, and handed me a drawing he had made. It was a portrait of me! When he saw my surprised look, he just smiled a proud smile.

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