“And that was when Master Marrek told me that I was never going to be a good adventurer, but that I would make an excellent administrator,” said Analina in a rush that had been going on for the better part of thirty minutes. “I thought that was really strange since most administrators at the Adventurer’s Guild are former adventurers with lots and lots and lots of experience. But I figured she knew what she was talking about, and then the position opened up at the guild here. Right where I grew up. I couldn’t believe my luck!”
Terry nodded, grunted noises to indicate he was “engaged” with the conversation, and occasionally tried to pull his arm loose. That last effort was futile. Analina had looped her arm through his while he was a little distracted. Now, he couldn’t figure out a way to get free without actually hurting the woman who just would not shut up. The situation was not improved by the hole that Jaban was trying to burn into the back of his head with his glare. Like it’s somehow my fault that she didn’t think he was interesting or attractive. She wasn’t interested long before I showed up. He was a lot less certain about her apparent interest in him. He had the sneaking suspicion that it had more to do with being dazzled by that rank two than by him.
The only good thing was that she didn’t seem to need him to make any word noises with his mouth parts. She was supplying plenty of those all by herself. He was even vaguely certain that he was to blame for this turn of events. He just hadn’t expected his innocuous question to prompt the woman to abandon the guild hall to show him around like a real estate agent. Especially when he would have so preferred an actual real estate agent. I wonder if there are real estate agents in Chinese Period Drama Hell? He couldn’t be sure that there weren’t any, but it did seem like the kind of job that could only exist with a degree of civilization and technological advancement that the place didn’t seem to have.
The town was well enough organized, but he rather doubted there was anything as formal as a county clerk’s office or whatever government office had that job in other countries. Maybe there was a local lord who kept track of that kind of thing but even that seemed questionable. As for the luck of the position opening up, Terry was quite certain that luck had exactly zero to do with that event. He would have put good money on the bet that Master Marrek, whoever the hell she was, had paid someone off or called in a favor to offload Analina. She was aggressively friendly but the verbal diarrhea would have driven a saint to violence.
“That bakery is a good place,” said Analina with absolute confidence and a gesture to a storefront. “The prices are fair, and the bread is always fresh that day. The other bakery we passed earlier makes more kinds of breads and pastries, but they really charge too much for them.”
Little tidbits of useful advice like that had been falling from the woman’s lips as they went, which meant that Terry couldn’t just tune her out completely. Something he fervently wished to do. He gave his arm one last useless tug before he resigned himself to his fate. He had said he might be interested in buying a bit of land and wondered if there was any for sale nearby. Now, it seemed that Analina was going to show him some come hell or high water. Maybe come hell and high water. Even Dusk had abandoned him to take shelter with Ekori. A fact that seemed to please her. While Terry was less than impressed with the traitorous kitten, he couldn’t actually bring himself to blame her. He’d have taken it if he could have found an easy escape route.
Analina eventually led them out of a small gate on the western side of the town. It opened onto a small track that wasn’t quite a road but seemed better traveled than a mere trail. They walked on that with Haresh, Ekori, and Jaban following along. Terry could occasionally hear Jaban muttering under his breath during those brief moments of quiet when Analina paused to take a breath, which seemed to happen far less often than it ought to given how much she was talking. She’d moved on from telling him about the shops in town to saying something about her mother taking up with the local potter.
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“Of course, I don’t approve. The man is just so gloomy about everything. He’d never seen a thing in this life that he couldn’t find something wrong with. If the sun is out, it’s too bright. If it’s raining, it’s too wet. The food is too hot. The tea is too cold. Honestly, I have no idea how that man stays in business with an attitude like that. I can’t say any of that to my mother, though, because she’s in love with him. At least, that’s what she tells me. How anyone can love a man that dour is simply beyond my understanding. Don’t you agree?” she asked and gave him an expectant look.
“Oh,” said Terry, caught wholly flatfooted by an actual question. “I guess that’s not—”
“I know!” declared Analina like he’d actually given an answer. “It’s all so very ridiculous. It’d be like loving a spine spider, but she won’t hear a word of it.”
She carried on like that for another ten minutes before they emerged from a lightly wooded area. There were fields that had gone… God damn it, what’s that word? Fallow, thought Terry. The fields had gone fallow. There was a house there as well. It looked a bit weathered and a little neglected but otherwise intact. It was how he thought a house that hadn’t been lived in for a while would look. Not that he particularly wanted to buy a farm, but he supposed that he didn’t need to become a farmer. There was no law that said moving onto a farm required him to become a farmer. If the house was more or less intact inside, that would be enough for now. Assuming he could afford the place.
“See. Isn’t this a nice little place?” she asked.
“It seemed nice enough. I’m not sure I can afford it, though,” observed Terry.
“I expect you can. It’s been abandoned for a while. I expect that you could get it for a few golds.”
“Why is that? Is it cursed?” joked Terry.
“Of course, it’s cursed. This close to the town, that’s the only reason it isn’t being used. But I don’t expect that would be a problem for a rank two adventurer. And that also means that no one will complain if you buy it. That’s always important. You don’t want to buy a place when it’ll cause a bunch of hard feelings. People hold that against you. You don’t want the baker dropping your bread on the floor before they give it to you or something like that.”
“Would they do that?” asked Terry in alarm.
“I’ve never seen them do it, but I’ve heard rumors.”
Terry had heard stories about people in restaurants doing worse things than that to obnoxious customers, so it felt all too plausible to him. Still, he couldn’t just ignore the whole cursed land thing. He’d have blown it off back in his world but in Chinese Period Drama Hell…Ignoring something like that sounded like a great way for something terrible to happen to him.”
“Explain this curse to me,” he said.
“I don’t think it’s an actual curse. But the last person who owned this place kept talking about monsters destroying the crops and spirits walking the land at night. We even sent a couple of adventurers out here to check on things.”
“And?” asked Terry.
“And what?” asked Analina.
“What did they find?”
“I’m not sure. They never came back, but they were rank four adventurers. I can’t say I’m surprised if they found something that they couldn’t handle. Like I said, I’m sure it’s nothing that would bother a rank two adventurer.”
Terry was feeling a lot less enthusiastic about this property now. He didn’t want to have to clear out monsters just to have a place to live. On the other hand, she was probably right. Whatever was out there was, in all probability, something he could handle. And it was almost certain that he wasn’t going to be able to find something else like it in a town he didn’t hate on sight, assuming there was another town like that to be found anywhere on the face of this terrible world he’d been trapped in by the stupidly pretty people. Terry reached up to massage his eyes with his free hand. He glanced back to the other adventurers.
“What do you think?” he asked them.
The three looked around. Jaban seemed deeply unimpressed. Ekori looked speculative. It was Haresh who finally said something. His words were unsurprisingly practical.
“It’s not like you’ve got something better in the works.”
Terry thought that over before he turned his gaze on the brightly smiling Analina.
“So, exactly how much will this place cost? And is the inside of the house still intact? I’m not going to pay as much if I have to rebuild that place from the ground up.”
“Why don’t we go inside and take a look? Then, I’m sure we can figure out a price that works for everyone.”
Terry lifted an eyebrow at that.
“Exactly who owns this place?”
“The guild.”
“Of course, they do,” sighed Terry.