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Isekai Butler [Hiatus pending rewrite]
Chapter 23: The Unimportant Chapter of Doing Housework

Chapter 23: The Unimportant Chapter of Doing Housework

Congratulations on purchasing Handel’s First Guide to Home Spark Use. This guide is the perfect beginner’s guide for Spark owners seeking to learn practical magic. Blessed be His Majesty, King Akxhar the Brutal, for this book is published in his reign Y.62.B.

To begin casting spells with your Spark, follow the steps below. I suggest visualizing something small to begin with, such as mending a broken glass or sweeping the floor. The intensity of your visualization as well as your Spark’s unique attributes may result in differing results than expected.

Handel does not take any legal responsibility for the ramifications of following the instructions in this book.

Step 1: Your Spark must be in front of you.

Kel was right before me. She wasn’t quite facing me, but that wasn’t supposed to be necessary. She was perpendicularly in front of me, rolling about a little bit and licking her paws. Fay was a few meters away, and Riri was a puddle of shadows at about the same distance in front of her as Fay was in front of me.

Step 2: Connect to your Spark

When Fay started to explain what this was, I had to interrupt and tell her that I’d already formed a mental and emotional connection with Kel. The odd, string-like feeling was still present at the back of my head and hadn’t really gone away. Fay had seemed equally impressed and disbelieving.

“And you can’t break it off?”

“Fay, I couldn’t tell you how it formed in the first place.”

“Well, that isn’t the point anyway. I’ll simply be thankful that I don’t have to teach you how to emotionally bond with your Spark.”

Kel thrummed with the same kind of restless anticipation that I could feel in my bones, like a vibrating, jittery feeling.

For a few minutes, I wondered if Excelsian’s had coffee. I missed coffee.

Step 3: Visualize the Effect

“Different worlds have different histories and cultures, but there are always similarities. Even magic can be cataloged and categorized and sorted. It’s been…an endeavor.” Fay sounded a little bit tired. I could only imagine exactly how complex it had been to try and gather bits and pieces of information from different sources in order to get an accurate summary of the magic on different planets.

“I have seen a lot of variety in magical systems. Runes, wands, sand, verbal casting, enchanted weaponry, the whole gamut, really.” I volunteered the information, still trying to somehow prove to Fay that I had been to as many worlds as I claimed.

“Sand?”

“Sand. They used different colors of sand to make temporary runes. Finality was a desert, with little water or chalk. So they made do.”

Fay pulled out a small writing implement and a tightly bound book, and made a quick note in it, jotting down what I’d said. “There’s another world, Omega, where the people did something similar. But they used drops of colored water, not sand, since the people had based their society underwater.”

“Yeah, the sand-magic was a little too finicky and complex. I found that it was a lot easier to swing a Holy Sword for mighty justice.” I struck out a pose, one foot in front of the other, my hand raised high as though I was holding an imaginary sword. “See?”

I knew I looked ridiculous, but that didn’t matter: Fay was grinning.

“Very well, O Legendary Hero.” The Drakul stuck her tongue out at me before continuing. “Now, if you’ll keep quiet for a second, I’ll explain Excelsian magic.”

“As you command, Madam Bloodsucker.”

“Say that again, and I will drain you of your blood in your sleep.”

“I meant, please proceed Miss Fay.”

“Better.” With a snap, she called Riri over to her, and the puddle of shadows flowed through the air and swirled around her outstretched arm. “Excelsian magic is State-Based. Words, gestures, runes? Those things don’t matter. Watch.”

She pointed her arm towards me, with the shadows still swirling.

Normally, this is the point where I’d be nervous. After all, when an undead creature points a shadowy creature at you, your options tend to boil down to running or fighting. Unfortunately, Kel had discovered that she could tumble forwards and backwards, and was busy practicing this brand new skill. Moreover, Fay had far more experience than I did. Anything she did to me, I wasn’t going to be able to rebuff. So instead, all I could do was have hope and trust her.

Or at least, trust that Aastor didn’t want me to die this immediately.

“Kill.” Fay deadpanned at me.

Oh.

Well, it was a good run!

The shadows that rippled across Fay’s arm didn’t move. Well, they moved in that they were still undulating across her pale skin, like a sort of loose cloud of ash and dust. But Riri did not particularly seem to want to harm me or interact with me in anyway.

I was glad I hadn’t flinched. It would have looked silly. Looking over at Fay though, I could see that she was a little bit disappointed I hadn’t reacted to the possibility of death by Shadow Spark. Well, Miss Drakul, it takes a little bit more than that to scare of the Legendary Hero of 12 Worlds!

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“Your self-preservation skills leave a lot to be desired.” She sniffed at me, unamused.

“Well, so does your killing intent.”

“Keep talking, dear.” Fay gave me a cloyingly sweet smile. “The next time I ask Riri to kill you, I won’t be demonstrating.”

I gulped. I didn’t think she’d actually kill me. But maim me? Or otherwise traumatize me? Well, I couldn’t be sure of that. I hurriedly changed the subject.

“So, State-Based magic? I assume that the State refers to the current position of an object? Or something like that?” Out of the corner of my eye, an invisible counter went up by 1. Business at Hand may not be the most powerful skill, but it was probably the one with the most utility by far.

“Hmm? Yes. Well, almost.” Fay looked a little confused, as though her mind had suddenly lost a thought or snapped her from a daze. “State is just…the state of the world. The way in which everything is oriented, the manner in which all things exist.”

“Ah. So, when you asked Riri to “Kill” me, you didn’t mean it, is that right?”

“Oh, I did. But I didn’t ask Riri to kill you. I just said the word.” Fay looked at me, as though suddenly remembering something critical. “When you Connect to your Spark, your intentions matter more than words do.”

That strange, telephone wire-like thread was still an everpresent reality. It still pulsated and moved gently at the back of my mind, as though someone was very gently tugging at a knot of my hair.

“I’m still not quite sure how we managed to Connect in the first place. Or rather, how Kel Connected to me, since I don’t think I took the initiative here.”

“She works fast, is all.”

“Good?”

“Yes. It is. Unconnected Sparks are dangerous. They’re wild, magical creatures, and without someone sentient to temper their emotions and attitudes, they’ll eventually rampage. Kel is too small to do any damage, and I’d kill her if she did, but breaking that Connection when she grows powerful is immensely dangerous.” She paused, giving her words the appropriate weight. “Never. Never. NEVER break the Connection.”

There’s a weird thing that happens on Isekai worlds. Every so often, someone gives you a little tidbit of advice that boils down to “Don’t do this or everyone dies.” And then, a few months later, you’re fighting, say, the Void at the End 0f Existence or some such thing, and you remember that thing you’re not supposed to do, and you wonder if you should break the rules. After all, you’re the Chosen One!

Don’t. Don’t do it. The rules exist for a reason. Everyone hears about the Chosen One who broke the important rule, committed to an insane course of action, and won. Nobody ever hears about the dire consequences of rule-breaking gone wrong. Finality was a vibrant community of desert-dwellers who had made a life for themselves, until I broke the cardinal rule of magic on that world. There’s nothing left there now, except for bones in the dust. Rule breaking had worked many, many times before that, but sometimes, it backfired more catastrophically than anyone could imagine.

“I understand. I don’t know how it formed, but I won’t break it.”

“Good.” She relaxed a little bit, the tension leaving her frame. “And now, we practice.”

“That’s it?”

“You clearly already know about state-based magic. So you understand the basics. Now, like Handel says, visualize the effect.”

Okay well, it was easier to say than it was to do! I still had a hundred questions. Even if I knew the theory behind the magic, I wasn’t sure how to actually put it into effect and-

I was panicking, for really no good reason. This was probably the best environment for me to fail in, since there were at least two powerful magical instructors nearby. The panic I was feeling was more a byproduct of having been through a dozen of these training sessions, where I learned the rules of the new world, and then failed miserably or succeeded spectacularly, with nothing in between. That’s what it meant to be a Chosen One, after all. No half-measures, everything was a binary success or failure.

Mediocrity would be nice, for a change. Still I wanted to quell the panic, and I wanted to test out Business at Hand some more. I’d used toggle-able skills before, so I hoped it would be as easy as it was in previous versions. Closing my eyes, I imagined a shiny, silver switch with the name of the skill written above it. In my mind, it was scrawled onto a piece of paper that was stuck to the wall that the switch was on, and it read “Self-Composed”. I flicked the switch, and a cool wave washed over my body. It was almost chilly, like taking a cold shower, but the cold eventually settled into my bones and then became a part of me. I opened my eyes and I felt…clarity. Razor sharp clarity. Fay was watching me with curiosity, waiting for me to start.

That made sense. I didn’t know how long it had taken to activate the skill, but to Fay, I had probably just closed my eyes and breathed deeply. I could feel the effects of increased Wisdom and Intelligence. Buffs always worked like that, as though there was an unnatural sharpness to some of my skills. If I boosted my Intelligence to 100 with hard work, many things would become easier, but I wouldn’t feel it. If I got a buff that boosted my Intelligence to 100, I would feel invincible, as though I had been gifted with clarity. Buffs always felt like that, like I could tell that things were easier than they should be.

“Thank you for that lesson, Lady Fay. Pardon me for the delay.” I bowed deep. I wasn’t sure why I was doing the things I was doing, but Self-Composed was gently guiding me, telling me what I needed to do, and I just needed to listen to it. “I shall do as you say.”

Kel had been tumbling and rolling about, but as soon as I activated Self-Composed, she had come up next to me, and was sitting still at my feet. The string that connected us was taut, as though it too was ready for orders.

I looked about, trying to think about the first thing I wanted to do. Fay noticed my indecision, and tapped the list of chores.

“First up, let’s clean the floor shall we?”

“Yes, of course Lady Fay.”

“Great. I’ll be sitting here. Don’t give Kel too many instructions.”

“Is there a reason for that, Lady Fay? I do not mind being exacting in my tasks.”

“Why are you…you’re very odd, Blanc.” Self-Composed had changed my perception of the world, and also my speaking patterns, and the dissonance was clearly affecting Fay. She shook it off though, and continued. “Don’t overload her with instructions, let her do whatever she wants as long as the floor is cleaned. It’ll give us a hint about the kind of Spark she is.”

I had never pushed messages to Kel knowingly before. I could always feel her presence, but I had never tried to actively communicate things to her.

Chirrup?

Thankfully, the Spark decided to initiate communication all on her own. As soon as she made the noise, I could feel a communication pathway opening up. Responding was a lot easier than initiating, it seemed.

“Kel? Let us clean the floor, shall we?” I inclined my head at her, and the Spark nodded vigorously in enthusiastic agreement. “Whenever you feel it prudent, I would like for you to clean the floor.”

Kel nodded again, and curled up in a tiny ball. The spines on her back were sticking out. I waited, patiently, for the Spark to finish up. I could feel the pressure build in her body, and I could feel the string tighten and wind around my mind: Things were certainly happening. Unfortunately, before they could actually happen, a voice interrupted my concentration and caused Kel to squeak and fall over.

“What ho, Sir! Baldric the Buccaneer, at your service.” A man dressed in yellow silks suddenly burst through the door, and bowed low. “As I am now in your employ, I wondered if you perhaps needed my aid?”