Oresus was downright miserable. “Y-you know, since my senses got better I’ve seen a lot of things I’d rather not know about.”
“Tell me about it.”
Ignoring the interjection he pressed on. “But out of all of them I think smell is the w-worst. You can c-close your eyes. N-not eat anything that doesn’t smell right. It’s hard to s-stuff up your ears but you can manage if you try hard enough. H-how do you stop smelling things though? Even if you p-plug your nose you can taste the smell when you breathe!”
“Hah! Try plugging antennae! I khan smell everything in stereo!”
“I…d-don’t know what that means. But my point is f-for all of us. I understand why we h-have to go this way, but I really hate this swamp.”
“Yeah, it reeks.” Gloe sloshed forward, muddy water past his waist. “We can pick up over this way. It’ll get us past the deep spot.”
Oresus pushed off into the air and Emokha snagged him, towing him over the deep area before gently depositing him next to Gloe. “Thank y-you. I f-feel bad though.” Thanks to their combined efforts his mud stains only went up to his knees. Emokha of course had none whatsoever. She hadn’t touched the ground in days, hovering overhead during the day and joining the guys in sleeping in a lone tree at night.
“It’s fine. Doesn’t really bother me.” He quirked a smile. “I mean, of course I’d love a good shower, but I’ve learned to live without them. You know how it is.”
“Y-yeah.” After a moment Oresus smiled in return. “We’re b-better off.” He rubbed his nose. “But I still h-hate this place.”
“I khonkhur. At least the beasts khould not follow us here though.”
“I d-didn’t think they were ever going to give up! I don’t think they c-could move well here though, even if it didn’t stink so bad. They’re t-too heavy.”
“The melovai are not hunting us here either. Were the environment not so loathsome this would be a welkhome respite, but I admit lookh forward to exhiting, despite the associated dangers.”
“M-me too.”
“I don’t mind it so much.”
“Shut up Zekhow.”
They trudged on in silence. A deep, noticeable silence. One that was broken by an innocent observation. “I don’t l-like this. It’s t-too quiet.”
The reaction was immediate. “Why/not/you/fate/that/such a manner!” Emokha and Gloe excitedly talked over each-other.
“W-what? What did I s-say?”
The two exchanged a look and Gloe waved for Emokha to proceed. Her mandibles twitched. “I am certain our friend only learned this from his association with a sojourner in prison, but in my old world it was khonsidered exhtremely ill-khonsidered to say such a thing. There was a khonvention that doing so would attrakht immediate misfortune. Perhaps ill-founded…” she paused, casting about, “…but why takhe chances?” She scanned the area again.
“W-what are you looking for?”
“In a movie some danger would have emerged as soon as I khonkluded speaking.”
“Or after a comedic pause” Gloe suggested. “That’s what I was told anyway.”
Another mandible twitch. “You know, the sojourner you spokhe with was exhtremely thorough. You two seem to have diskhussed every topikh imaginable, and even without an enhanced memory at the time you rekhall it all.”
“You know how it is in prison.” He shrugged. “You’re desperate for something to distract you.”
“Smooth.”
“I w-wonder how much time he spends coming up with this stuff?”
“Shh.”
“N-no, I really…oh.”
Now her antennae twitched. Emokha muttered a few choice words in her own language. “What sort of khliche-ridden hellhole is this?” she asked the sky rhetorically.
“Welcome to your new life!” Gloe said brightly. “Although, in fairness, perhaps the convention grew from a tiny kernel of truth. There were small creatures making noise before, so what made them keep quiet?”
“R-run or fight?”
“Both are less than optimal given the terrain.” Emokha shot straight up, spun three-sixty then came whooshing back down. “Small khopse of trees in that direction. High-ground, solid footing, limited khover and khoncealment.”
“Take Oresus. I’ll stall them and catch up.”
“W-wait…” Emokha nodded decisively, snatched him up and buzzed off. “W-why do you two keep doing this?” he demanded plaintively.
“That’s what you get for being everyone’s favorite!” Gloe shouted after him. “Stop being so likeable damn it!” He pulled two prybars from his pack and turned back around. “You mudsuckers wanna go or are you gonna lurk there forever?”
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The placid surface erupted and enormous creatures burst forth. They were huge and hideous with gaping toothless maws and ichor-covered slimy hides. He decided to call them fropotamuses. “You know, now that we’re smarter we really ought to come up with a more creative naming convention” he muttered to himself as he smashed the lead attacker’s skull in.
“Nah, I think this is funnier. Plus it irritates Emokha but she can’t complain about it without repeating our ridiculous names and explaining everything in excruciating detail to Oresus.” He impaled a charger with the sharpish end, then ripped it free and rapped another on a joint. “Okay point.” Five more came at him at once. “Time to go.” Using a corpse as a launch pad he shot clear, aiming for the shallowest spot in sight.
He moved forward as quickly as he could, weaving an erratic path dictated by the terrain it was easiest to run on. The monsters were much more suited to the area and caught up with him several times forcing him to stop and fight before kicking off one and leaping clear once again.
Eventually he made it to the stand where they’d be making their stand. Grinning to himself at the pun he decided everyone should suffer. “Hail the stand where we’re making our stand! Fropotamuses inbound!”
Emokha set down her blades for a moment to bury her face in her hands. “See, totally worth it” Gloe told himself.
...
Horrible creatures were the norm in the deep wyld, but the three that staggered out of the swamp still drew attention. For one thing they were bipedal (more or less,) and that was rare. Beyond that though their forms could barely be distinguished. All three were absolutely coated in muck and blood, as if they had eventually given up on attempting to keep anything more than completely necessary areas clear.
One of them wobbled unevenly into the ground, whirring wings splattering unidentifiable fluids in all directions. When it returned it pointed. “Khreek.”
“K-kay.” They began moving in that direction.
“Makes sense. It must be one of the water sources that helps feed and sustain the swamp” the third figure said cheerily. The other two glared at him but were too tired to chastise him verbally. On they slouched, wavering and staggering.
When they arrived at the creek Emokha stripped off her pack and dove in despite the cold. Oresus didn’t even bother with that, simply leaning forward, going from upright to prone in one smooth motion without flinching. The splash was impressive. Hiding his grin Gloe stepped in and helped him get his extraneous gear off.
Downstream the creek turned a hideous mix of brown and purple. “Too bad little creek, but it’s your fate anyway.” He dunked himself underwater, and didn’t come back up.
Meanwhile Oresus was rummaging through his bag. “We’re g-going through soap far more quickly than I hoped” he lamented.
“No help for it I suppose. Preserve a fragment for the end if you khan, but for the moment it is imperative that we stay healthy.”
“I know you can m-make soap from animal fat. Do you know h-how to do that?”
“Not as such, no. I suspect Zekhow does.” She paused, looking at the bubbles still rising to the surface. “Or at least I hope he does. He lived for qhuite some time in the wilderness after all. Hopefully he utilized some sort of sanitation method during that period.”
Pausing in his careful lathering Oresus joined her in watching the bubbles. “Technically he might be able to heal through the s-sickness, right? …and he eats gyoks.”
“Perhaps we ought not to khonsider this matter further. We khan inqhuire if he knows how to makhe soap without reqhuesting any superfluous or disturbing additional information.”
The cold seemed to catch up with Oresus, and he began vigorously completing his washing. Shuddering and stamping he dragged himself clear. “S-should I start a fire?”
For a time Emokha looked wistfully around, then reluctantly shook her head. “I wish it were prudent, but our position here does not appear to be all that sekhure. The weather is warm enough that we will be merely miserable, not riskh illness.”
“If you start to feel unwell m-make sure you say something. I don’t get s-sick that much anymore, and I’m not sure he even can.”
“Does it seem that he has been down there an inordinate amount of time?” Emokha cocked her head at the placid water surface.
“M-maybe he fell asleep.”
“Is that even possible?” She shook the curiosity away. “Regardless, we need to resume our journey.” Stalking through the water she reached a hand down and began fishing for their lost companion. Pulling him clear of the water she held him up at eye height. “We must proceed. What were you doing down there?”
“Evicting hitchhikers.” He held up a bloodstained rock. “And repossessing the bodily fluids they illicitly extracted from my reserves.”
“That’s d-disgusting.”
“Hey don’t blame me. I didn’t invite them.”
“Zekhow, do you know how to make soap?”
“Sure. You can use oil from animal fat and lye from wood ashes. My parah showed me how. Takes a while though, and it’s kinda dangerous…” he looked at his hands. “…well I suppose it would be fine now. Less likely to make a mistake, and I could always heal up.”
Still dangling from Emokha’s hand he began shaking himself vigorously, scattering water droplets in all directions. Whipping her head out of the field of fire she unceremoniously dropped him and leapt back. Landing unperturbed on his feet he continued to shake, the movement causing his voice to vibrate. “Whhhhhhhhhy dooooooooo youuuuuuuu aaaaaaaaaaask? Ah, that’s better. You want me to set up a site? It’ll take a bit to make a batch.”
“Not at the moment. It is simply a khonsideration for later, in khase we exhhaust our entire supply. For now we should resume moving forward.” The trio donned their gear and set out, only to freeze one after another.
“W-what are they?” Oresus’ eyes darted back and forth, picking out small forms in the underbrush.
“Fink martens. We’re fucked” Gloe said softly.
“That certainly is not their akhtual designation” Emokha hissed. “Are they exhtremely dangerous?” Her hands drifted towards the hilts of her swords.
“Not in themselves, no. But their survival mechanism is to draw in predators and scavenge the leftovers. With this many they’ll be able to draw in every chump hunter in miles.”
“I see. Let us try to slowly backh away. Perhaps we khan…” the moment she took a step backwards the creatures let out keening wail, one after another, harmonizing and warbling until it sounded like a whole convoy of police sirens. “Or perhaps we khannot” she lamented softly.
“We should r-run.”
“Agreed. East.” She took to the air, scouting a path for them. “Predators are already khonverging! Qhuickhly now!”
“I’ll catch up in a minute” Gloe shouted at Oresus’ back. Drawing his pry bars he favored the screeching monsters with a disturbing smile. “You know, you were always too fast for me to catch before” he said conversationally. “But I’m not sure that is still the case, and you know what they say about snitches.”
Several minutes into their flight Gloe drew alongside Oresus. “Are y-you okay? Where did all that b-blood come from?”
“Involuntary compulsory vivisection?”
“If y-you don’t want to tell me that’s fine. You don’t have to m-make things up.” Oresus focused back on running along the tree branches.
“Mandatory stitch infliction?” He was ignored. “Karmic reciprocation program?” Still nothing.
“Did I tell you I think a melovai has picked up our trail already? I’m beginning to suspect they can detect shroud or life energy or something.”
“S-shut up Zekhow.”