Live Journal Entry: 02.20.2174 | Pursuit Bank, New York

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Pursuit Bank Employee | Unnervingly Cheery

Hello, sir! What can Pursuit Bank do for you today?

Xander Irons

Oh, today is something quite special, for there is a lot Pursuit will be doing not simply for me, Alexander Irons, but for humanity at large. You see, I have plans - monumental plans, one might say. The real question is, do you have what it takes to meet my company’s needs? To take a bold new step toward the future of mankind, miss...Carol?

Carol

Hm?

Xander Irons

What?

Carol

Was that a question, sir?

Xander Irons

About your ability to meet my needs, or the future of mankind?

This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

Carol?

My name, sir.

Xander Irons

No. Of course not, Cher…yl?

Carol/Cheryl

…

Xander Irons

…

Carol/Cheryl

Well, then what can Pursuit-

Xander Irons

Right! Back to it! You see, Carrot, the crucial next step in realizing the ultimate mission of my company, Irons Unlimited, requires funding from your fine establishment.

Carol/Cheryl/Carrot

Unfortunately, the loans we offer don’t include funding for “monumental” ventures or “ultimate” missions at this time. We’re a fairly small branch.

Xander Irons

What? I-I just...right. I require a small business loan.

Carol/Cheryl/Carrot

Wonderful! What is the purpose of your loan?

Xander Irons

Do you remember that ancient social media platform, Zuckface?

Carol/Cheryl/Carrot

Sir, did you mean to say Face-

Xander Irons

WELL guess who bought the rights to their platform and data, but couldn’t quite afford the trademark!

Carol/Cheryl/Carrot

Was it y-

Xander Irons

Me. It was me. I bought them.

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