On a tropical island's shore, with wind breezing down the sandy coast. A young man was walking by, with skin brown as the trunk of a tree, and no clothes except for blue pants, brown sandy leather boots worn out with time along with white socks, having stains. He sailed on a boat onto the water, as he had his fishing rod dipping on the sea. The waves moved by momentum, as one after the other went to the shore. The waves were still as a statue, as the salty smell permeated the air.
“I wonder if I’ll get any fish today?” the man thought to himself as he looked out in the ocean with nothing else in his mind. He waited, and soon, the screwball sank. He yanked it as hard as he could, and soon enough, he successfully pulled the fish out of the water. When the man saw what the fish was, he was shocked to see it was a white fish with orange spots. He had never seen this fish before. He looked at it for a while, with the curiosity of a cat. The young man then took out his knife, thinking if this fish is edible. He has not captured fish in a long time due to the recent currents, and he thought that maybe this fish could be poisonous, but decided that he should gut it and take a risk.
“NOO! PLEASE SPARE MY LIFE! I BEG YOU!” The fish yelled, as the man dropped both the knife and fish as he was gasping with wide open eyes.
“HOW THE FUCK CAN A FISH TALK” The man thought to himself, shocked beyond belief as he did not know what to do with what he saw.
“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU?!! SOME KIND OF DEMON!!!” he yelled right at the fish, as he thought to himself that anthropomorphic animals only existed in legends.
“Look, I am sorry that I have freaked you out, but please listen to me. If you decide to free me, then maybe I could help you out in the future. For example, if enough time passes, I will teach you amazing skills that will help you out with any problem that passes.”
Although the man was still taking deep breaths, he was thinking to himself about what if the fish was telling the truth, as this creature's ability to speak could actually have powers beyond his imagination in addition to unforeseen consequences.”
“You know what, fine, I’ll spare your life. For the record, I still don’t have trust in you. I don't know what will happen if I kill you, and I do not want to find out. I just want to go on with my life without any inconvenience” The man said, as he just threw the fish back as far away as possible, as a splash landed off in the distance.
“Sigh, I was hoping that I would get to eat fish. Oh well, I might as well go back empty handed, judging from the waves, a storm might happen by then.”
Later, the young man went into the tropical forest, right outside his mud hut, with red painted on and straw as a roof. He skinnied up a tree collecting some bananas, pineapples and coconuts into his basket he held on his left hand. He climbed down the trunk carrying the basket with his immense strength, as strong as a human can get. Although he had enough food for himself, he still desired some seafood, much like how a child desires some candy. He decided to wait it out as he went inside his hut and ate his dinner.
While he was eating, the young man heard a knock on the door. He was confused, as he was the only person on the island, and this is not the time that anyone comes to visit him while he’s doing his meditation. He decided to answer the door anyway to see a creature that has a bald eagle’s head and wings as beautiful as an angel, and the body of a lion. The eyes of this creature had black eyes that stared into the human’s soul, and a sharp beak and claws that looked ready to slash the humans to bits for ground meat.
“Hello there human hermit, I was just flying by and I heard you would like some fish. Maybe we could make some kind of deal.” the Griffon said in a business friendly manner.
“What?! First of all, how the hell do you know that I want fish, and second, why should I even trust you?!! I mean you are a creature that I have never even seen before.”
“Oh, I just overheard you mumbling while I flew by. I felt sorry for you that you can’t have your treat. I mean I always love eating my shrews.”
“Yeah, that still sounds suspicious. Sorry, but I would like you to leave. I came here for a reason, so I don’t have to talk to any annoying bird beasts enacting a deal!”
“How about I offer you some fish I found on my way here”
“Sorry, but I want to be left alone to live my life, and nothing can change my mind, not even fish. I already had to deal with a weird encounter with a talking animal, and I don’t want”
“Fine, you are willing to not eat fish for a few weeks, but what if I threw in some pornography in there and even some tobacco leaves in there to boot!” The Griffon then showed the young man the goods, and as soon as he glimpsed just one second, he looked at it for a bit, but decided that he shouldn't want them, even though he was tempted by the pornography. “The tobacco leaves by the way are meant to be chewed and not swallowed”
The human took a quick look at the porn for a moment, and saw that all kinds of fetishes were in there, not just only the usual of boobs and feet “Yeah, still not interested. It’s tempting, but I still want to be left alone. I left society for a reason, so people don’t come knocking on my house.” The man said.
“Fine, I do understand why it’s just you here. But what if I give you more. I mean you must want something more about life do you? You’re a loser, and you wasted your whole life by yourself. In addition to what I just offered, I will add in this rock! This bad boy can… um… increase the amount of harvest you get from the tree!”
“I still don’t buy it, right now you have 10 seconds before I get pissed.” The human said.
“Alright, fine, then I will throw in this silk rag as well!” Upon seeing this rag, the human was amazed at what he saw, as he had never seen something of such high quality.
“You know, I want everything! Now, what do you want in return? I just want to get back to living in peace.”
“Nothing much, I will get my end of the deal soon, but for now I want to rest a bit on the island before I leave.”
“Fine by me, just stay outside about 20 feet away from my hut” the human responded, as he closed the door. The Griffon gave a big grin on his beak and his claws rubbing together.
So while the young man looked at the porn at his hut and ate fish, the Griffon however was destroying the land by eating the very fruit trees and wild pigs the young man depended on, with everything in sight destroyed and withered. Eventually the Griffon went back to the hunt and knocked the door once again, after the destruction left nothing else behind.
“What do you want, you already gave me all you offered, now leave me alone as we both promised!” He said rudely.
“Actually, I’m here to kick you out, this is my hut now” The Griffon said as he grabbed the young man with his beak and threw him right out the building.
“WHAT THE FUCK! GIVE ME BACK MY HUT!” The man yelled as he tried to get it back, charging with a stick, but the Griffon was able to push him back without any effort.
“HEY, WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?!” a voice in an angry tone yelled, as it was soft and enchanting, coming from a woman who was more beautiful than anything a human could imagine, with her body made of wood and her hair and underwear of leaves and ivy. Although she was pretty, her eyes said something else, as they were black as the Griffons and her face had a violent expression befitting of a berserker. She was pissed as a nagging person could ever be, but as the Griffon stole his home, the human saw no one else, and only had one option.
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“This creature took my house away, could you please help me get it back? I would appreciate it very much”. In response, the woman just smacked him hard, where he collapsed onto the floor with raised eyes and a dropped jaw.
“HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE MY FRIEND HERE OF SUCH A HORRIBLE CRIME!!! He did nothing wrong. And from what I saw, you agreed to let him have your hut and the land around it when he gave you the fish, tobacco, silk rug AND the pornography. You should be thanking him, as he gave you the freedom to enact on the vices you won’t normally allow in other places.”
“You know what you ugly bitch, the Griffon NEVER actually said anything about giving up my home and land when we agreed to the trade. I was expecting that I would just give at least a basket of bananas. Hell, I didn't even think he’d destroy this land and eat all the fruit trees I work hard to cultivate! Now I noticed how shitty a guest he is!!”
“HAHAHA!!! Are you fucking stupid?! You AGREED to this arrangement, and when the Griffon said that you have to keep your end of the bargain. Since you agreed that my friend can have anything he wanted, this part of the island is his. And we actually have witnesses aside from me to support him!” She said as she snapped her fingers, as then a beastly creature with the body of a man and head of a bull, a three headed dog, and finally horse with a torso of a human replacing its head all came into the picture. They all were drooling at the Dryad, but she pointed the finger at the human, turning their attention to him.
“Were those creatures spying on me the whole time when I was talking to that bird?!!” The human asked.
The Dryad ignored entirely, as she turned around to the creatures who just came into the picture, saying with her voice, “Do y’all believe that the deal he made with the Griffon was fair and true?” She asked them. The Minotaur and the Centaur all yelled yes in unison, while Cerebus barked.
“HUMAN BAD, GRIFFON GOOD! FEEL BAD, POOR GRIFFON!!” the Minotaur said.
“Since the Dryad is so sexy, everything she says is right! The hut and the land belong to the Griffon, so that’s that! If you don’t like it, THEN TOO BAD, LIFE’S UNFAIR!” the Centaur said
“You’ve heard them, get the hell out!! One more thing, we will let you off this time around since you are obviously an idiot. If you ever break another of our laws or disobey our commands from here on out, well just imagine that you won’t have feet to stand on.” The Griffon said, as the human ran off.
He would later attempt to build another hut right in another part of the forest where mango trees were there along with apricots. As he was building his hut, with all the clay and straw he took, suddenly, the bull man appeared and barged right in as soon as the human finished. “Thank you human for making home! Now I eat everything here, while have shelter to protect my soft skin from bad weather, unlike you have strong skin!!” The minotaur yelled in bad grammer as he assaulted the man “Now out get, bring me mango! I see you eat one, you dead meat!” The human quickly left the scene before the Minotaur enacts on its threat.
The human was angry about this turn of events to see another hut to be stolen by another of the creatures, and he would attempt to build a hut on the beach, but then as soon as he finished, he found Cerebus already in there. “HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE!! I WAS LOOKING INSIDE THE WHOLE TIME!” The human asked, but Cerebus just chased him while it barked, leaving no time for an answer, as he chased across the beach screaming. By only climbing a tree, Cerberus left him alone, as the dog just decided to go back to its hut.
He decided to finally build a fourth hut this time out in the meadow, hopefully he can live out here, but as he finished his hut, he heard galloping in the distance, as the horse man came, grabbed and threw the man away to the side and went inside the hut. “STAY OUT OF MY HUT, OR I WILL RAPE YOU!!”. The Centaur said with an animalistic rage, the man just decided that he should just run, as he had a strange feeling that the possibility of the Centaur committing such an action is high.
After a while, the Griffon, Minotaur, Cerberus and Centaur left nothing but trunks separated from their stumps, where not a single fruit was left, no more fish came to the ocean, and all the bark was chewed. All that was left on the island was that the four creatures who took everything from the human were now all obese, and lying on rubble of the huts the human put his blood and sweat to make. He was lying there depressed, as he saw his home destroyed. Looking out at the sunset, he can only fantasize about getting his land back for the creatures who could effortlessly kill him with their supernatural strength. He sighs as he crawls into a ball. He looked to the sky to see a dragon flew nearby, as it landed right in front of him.
“Hi human, I was wondering if I can have at least 1 sheep to have enough energy to cross this ocean” The dragon said. But as the human brought his head upwards, he was crying about the fact that everything was taken from him, his home, the fruit trees, the fauna gets eaten entirely by the Cerberus and any fish that came by just gets all eaten by the Griffon. He has no idea of how he would even fight back.
“I can’t do that, everything that belongs to me on this island was stolen by four parasites who demand that I serve them while I get nothing. I just wish I can find a way to get rid of those jerks.”
“I am willing to help, although not directly, but rather to teach you how to do so in case such an incident happens again. One way to deal with creatures like that is to use a crossbow with silver bolts. Obviously you don’t have the knowledge of how to make one, so I will teach everything you need, and hopefully those pests will be gone” The Dragon said, as then he cut a tree, and brought some tools out of his bag, and gave a set of instructions for the human to follow. After some trial and error, the crossbow was already made, although it was in poor quality.
“Thank you so much, Dragon. Although it seems simple, I just hope this crossbow will work out.”
“No problem, if it does not work, then come back here to this spot and improve it. Or we could think of another plan.”
The human then went and saw that the Minotaur was asleep in the forest with just trees that were broken down. He prepared his crossbow, with aim on the Minotaur. Out of nowhere, the Dryad appeared right behind him, and grabbed him by her long root arm. She threw off to the side as she inspected the Crossbow.
“Hmm, nice crossbow you have here, too bad it’s shit!” She said as she broke it apart in two. The human has no idea of what to say, with widened eyes on his face is enough.
“I knew what exactly you were doing, you were hanging out with that Dragon were you? Well let me tell you the truth, that Dragon is nothing more than a scam artist who’s trying to get you to give this island when you already don’t have enough, taking advantage of your naivety. We know this Dragon’s nature, and you don’t, so take our advice and ignore him.” The Dryad said.
“Here comes the lecture.” The human said simply rolling his eyes. “You really gonna say that about the Dragon, after the fact that you and your four friends took everything I had!”
“That’s because you don’t have the brains to understand everything that we do, and we took everything for a reason. He just wants your labor, and puts you into his debt! It’s a common tactic he uses to trick foolish hermits like you into serving him. We on the other hand are just trying to teach you that life is hard, you should toughen up and appreciate what you have! So I’ll let you off with a warning because you don’t know about the Dragon’s imperialist attempts. Already I have given you too many chances. If we see you talk with that Dragon again, will there be consequences, capeesh?!”
“Capeesh!” The human said in a complete panic.
He would later be on the same spot as he was on the last time, as he looked for the Dragon. He could not see the dragon anywhere at first, then he heard something, “Shhh, come over here!” The human heard from a cave, so he went over there to see the Dragon in a dark area.
“I saw everything that happened, sorry it didn't work out. Maybe you should come with another plan, rather than another crossbow?.” The Dragon said. The human started to have a wide grin on his face on something that he just came up with.
“Actually I do, I would like you to help me build a large and amazing house this time around with marble floors and a golden roof.” The human said.
“Why do you want to build another house? Won’t all the creatures just take it again?”
“That’s exactly what I am counting on. Of course the Dryad does not want me working with you, so teach me how to build one on my own, then if all comes to plan, all of them will fight one another.”
“I just hope your plan will work out, if not, I will have to leave before I get in any trouble”
After a session of training, the human built the nicest house ever, with a garden of roses, postmodern architecture, a swimming pool, and even electricity, however, there was one oddity, there was no window and just one door. Once he was finished, he would yell out through a horn that he got one house for all the creatures. It did not take long for the Centaur, the Minotaur, Cerberus and the Griffon to get right inside. There was one issue, the house only had one bedroom.
“I HERE FIRST, BEDROOM MINE!” The Minotaur yelled. Cerberus barked loudly at the Minotaur, as the Griffon tried to get in, only to be attacked by the Centaur who did not say a single word. It does not need to be mentioned what happened next, an all out brawl.
The Dryad even went inside, but not with the intention of breaking up the fight “HEY! I AM A PRETTY LADY, SO I SHOULD HAVE THE BEDROOM, BEFITTING THAT I SHOULD HAVE YOU GUYS SERVE ME LIKE A PRINCESS!!” she yelled. But the other four were not having it, so with the Dryad joining the brawl. While all the creatures were distracted, the human blockaded the door with boulders, and ran. He gave the Dragon the signal, as he breathed fire onto the house, as it burned along with the creatures alive, dying as they were beating each other up. Both the human and the Dragon watched, as the house would eventually collapse and turn to ash. Nothing was left, not even the creatures inside.
“Whew, I finally have everything back. I don't know what to say to you Dragon, I don’t even think saying thank you would be enough for what you did.” The human said
“No need, I just felt bad for you, since I was also in the same situation once, but that’s a story for another time.”
“Well, I have got back to working at rebuilding my house and regrowing my trees, I can assume you would help me without proving the Dryad right?”
“Sure, all I want is just one banana for the trip, that’s all I need. But I could help you with one more thing, you can’t live with a damaged island, do you want my help? I could plant the trees and bring in more livestock. If however you want me to leave you alone, well I hope the best of you”
“I would like some help, no need to go all out, I just want the island to go back they way it was”
So then the human was able to quickly rebuild his hut, get more animals and replant the trees that the creatures destroyed in no time flat due to the diligence of the Dragon and his great teaching efforts.
“Finally, I get my life back on track and continue my life, and here’s a banana for the road as you requested, I don’t know what to do to give you my thanks” the human said.
“Sure, anytime, I have to get going now to a far off island, but I do hope the best and you don’t ever have to deal with guests like that again, here is a whistle to call if that ever repeats. Till we meet again.” The Dragon went into the sky, turning into a giant koi fish with wings going into the horizon. The human seeing the Fish form brings him back to when he spared the fish, knowing that he made the right decision back then.