New post in "Introverts Life-guide" from the admin "The extrovert introvert":
[There are a few things I dislike, but even fewer that I hate ;)
Seriously guys, where is the karma????
#introvert #hated #karma 2015/06/18 ]
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I hate to admit it, but I hate discoveries just as much as I hate surprises. That dawn, after leaving the house, I had a discovery. I don't have a single person to turn in to. No one is close enough to ask for help.
Having this discovery, I added making close friendships to my bucket list.
'Just to be clear, I haven't stroked it yet. Once a lonely wolf, always a lonely wolf. It's pretty addictive!'
Anyway, I have always been very strict about my likes and dislikes. I hated complications, and I was comfortable with straightforwardness. So when thinking about whom to ask for help, two candidates came to mind. Grandfather Bright and Grandfather Miracle.
Rich and Rich. One trading land and the other trading lives. Neither is easy to approach and both are pretty capable of helping. Though, as people famous for being pride crashers, I wasn't sure if they would help.
Grandfather Bright, owning multiple businesses and lots of land, is a multi-billionaire. Someone who doesn't even eat without a reason. He would use his lunchtime to check the quality of his restaurants and fire chiefs.
Grandfather Mirakel owns multiple recognized hospitals around the world and is also one of the most well-known stock traders in the world. Similar to my other grandfather, a multi-billionaire. Differently from the latter, he would eat his food for the satisfaction it gave him. Plus the satisfaction of calling whoever he knows to make them feel like they are not worth anything during it.
Raised around people like those two, 'A prideful person is the type of person I was at the time' I had never lowered myself to anyone and naturally hadn't asked for any human being's help. Therefore, it was a tough decision that possibly resulted in a lifelong blow to my pride.
'Which, funny enough, is nonexistent now!'
On one hand, there was Grandfather Bright. A great man who already sponsored many students. However, similar to me, he had distinct dislikes. For example, he disliked me for two reasons.
First, because I looked like his cheating mother. Second, because I am not an OM or a G.
OM standing for an obedient mute and G standing for a genius.
Inversely, there was Grandfather Miracle. Someone who never spouted kind words and always criticized everyone. Someone with no particular dislikes for me. He is a being who hates everyone equally. He had no filter at all and spouted out everything.
His words are 75% criticism, 20 percent sarcasm, and 5 percent a mixture of orders mixed with scoldings, and rarely seen worry. Which, of course, is also sarcasm.
My careful consideration of these two options resulted in approaching Grandfather Miracle for housing and employment at his hospital.
Taking into account the absence of His wife who was on a trip, he was the safer option. Why? Because I'm hated by both my grandmothers, too.
Anyway, the plea for help went as follows. After lots of begging, I got permission for a temporary stay at my grandfather's house. The time limit until the Grandmother's return date. Got a job, not at the hospital but as a housemaid at his house. Of course, after his humiliating me to the boots. "What makes you worthy of becoming my secretary? You don't even have maid qualifications!"
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That devil gave me $3500 a month but made sure to reduce the living expenses from my salary. A salary of $3500 (-$1000) a month which raises to 500 bucks if I last two months.
Like that, I signed my very first Slav- ahem, job contract. I was more or less familiar with the cleaning. Mother hated having a stranger in her house and we had no housemaid in our huge house. Resulting in, the whole family knowing a thing or two about cleaning. The problem was the amount of work and the cooking.
After a month of working, I could understand why none of his housemaids could last more than a month. He was picky and petty. A clean freak that nitpicked at the slightest disorganization or dust.
However, thankfully, he was not picky with food and would eat anything. Or maybe it was the sanctification of ruining someone face to face, but he ate whatever I cooked.
I lasted for exactly a year. During that year, the main character part of me wanted my family to regret it. So, sleeping barely two hours a day, I studied all my free time. I had cleaned my life, of all worldly joys, no dramas, no games, no animations, and no comic books.
I only ate the healthy food provided by my grandfather. To be more precise, he bought the ingredients, and I boiled them. The one thing missing for me to become a complete monk was a hair-free head.
That self-torture ended on a freezing morning, which ironically enough remained cold until the evening. The Morning, I went to retake the entry exam. Despite the crowd being super noisy, I could hear crows scream. Screams that sent chills down my whole body.
'This is not good! Crows are bad omen.', is what I thought that day. The foolish me didn't know that omens don't exist.
Catastrophes don't send alarms, they ambush!
Hard work never betrays, is a saying I had long lost faith in but the unexceptional me, who never could reach my siblings, achieved acceptance at ESF. The same university as Damon, a top university for geniuses, and the same field of study as Destiny, medicine.
While seeing the results, I was numb. From a feeling I get a lot, but I still don't have a name for it. When sending the application, I avoided all the fields my siblings would choose or had chosen. I wanted to avoid competition.
However, as if kidding myself, I had added the medical field at Damons University on top. Then, as if god was joking with me too, I got accepted.
Competitions are not good. Specially so, when done, between siblings! When I was in elementary school, I saw my parent and their siblings competing over everything and treating each other like enemies. However, believing that I would never become like them, I promised I would always love my siblings. I will become happy when they are happy and sad when they are sad, and vice versa.
Do I have the same thoughts now? Without a doubt, I still love my family. But do they have the same ideas about me?
Early on, I understood that their love for me was not unconditional. For example, the gentle Divine could turn into a curse if I were to attend conferences with Grandfather Bright.
Even if I did so much as attend a few informal meetings as a translator. That would make Divine feel threatened and consequentially show hostility.
A continuous hostility that led to my beloved long hair's doom, just a day before school opening in my third year of middle school. The hair he used to comb and braid for me.
I feared that something similar could happen between me and Destiny. Of course, I know that there are many fields in medicine. But you never know what will Destiny think of it. I could just hope she wouldn't mind.
Had I known that even after ten years, not only she but no one in my family would know I was studying medicine, I wouldn't have freaked out about it.
When I got accepted into medicine, I went back home. Only to release that nobody cared about me not being home and the same about my return. At least I hadn't gone back expecting them to pay for my education. Even then, I was not that dumb. The tuition fee now was way more expensive than that of teaching schools.
Everyone played dumb. No reaction at all, as if I had never left. Not that I had expected anything else. The only change was the absence of my roommates.
With the phenomenal school expenses, I simply realized it was more economical to live at home instead of Grandfather's place. I love him, but not only was he a clean freak and extremely bad-tempered, but he also charged me with rent.
All my savings could only pay for one semester. So before the university entry, I searched for part-time jobs.
Of my 100+ job applications and interviewees, none succeed.
The poor introverted me with my lack of communication skills and no experience couldn't even land a job at a supermarket.
Then, with great humiliation, I went to my grandfather's place and asked for part-time jobs. I guess he pitied me. Because not only did I get the cleaning job back, but he even gave me a job as his secretary. Meaning I was his secretary on days he was at the clinic and his house's cleaning personnel the rest of the week.
Since I didn't pay for the rent and food expenses, I earned the amount I needed for the third semester in two months.
Unfortunately, good things don't last. Grandmother came back from my uncle's house overseas. I wasn't on her best side, therefore Grandfather, who couldn't afford to anger her, fired me.
I thought that they had separated. It was also the reason Grandmother came back. According to my mother, my grandmother had heard rumors similar to my thoughts.
Being the type to get into trouble easily and not being expressive, I have always been easy to hate. Even my only friend hates me.
Which is nothing if we were to compare it to my whole family hating me. I am being hated because of some huge misunderstanding. A misunderstanding I can't blame anyone for. A misunderstanding that made me unsure about my beliefs.