The following is a historical record provided by request to: Zaden Charles for the purpose of: school project (verified through teacher E77-89-NYC-12). This UNCERTIFIED COPY must be returned to records management no later than: Not Applicable, copy is uncertified for school use.
Record Classification: Green Band, unrestricted access to all citizens by request. Copies can be made without additional authorizations.
Record Date: 12/31/2999
Approximate Age: 127 Earth Years
Content: Television Talk Show Interview
Details: New Years Eve celebration on the Tonight Show with Eve Harris 2999 to 3000
Included: 1x Physical transcript (this document), 1x Video media copy code, 1x Instructions for video media access and usage.
Transcript created and filed by: Unit 52, Alexander James 4/18/3089
Transcript starts. . .
A 30 year old man dressed in a suit walks onto the stage (see picture 1A if included) and shakes hands with the host. He wears a black suit and tie and highly polished shoes. The man has black hair, brown eyes, a slim build and is carrying a cardboard box which is placed on the ground. The man then puts his feet up on the box.
There is applause and conversation from the in studio audience (see picture 1B if included)
Eve Harris, hereafter referred to as “Host”: Alright everybody! We have quite the show for you today! Recently making waves on the internet, please welcome the self proclaimed 1,007 year old man Mr.Glenn Wright.
Applause
Glenn Wright, hereafter referred to as Glenn: Thank you! Thank you, I did not ask to be here.
Host: Well let's get right into it then.
Glenn: Yes, let's.
Host: Mr. Glenn, you have been making rounds on the internet for making the claim that your birth date is 1/1/1992.
Gasps, and muttering from the audience.
Host: You also claim you can substantiate these claims.
Glenn: Correct.
Host: So elaborate on that.
Glenn: I mean. . .there isn’t much to elaborate on, I was born in 1992 and I am still here.
Laughter and some muttering from the audience, a few people clap and a female voice says “Woo” very loudly for no discernible reason.
Host: Why make these claims now?
Glenn: Someone figured me out, I was more than happy with only the people I work with knowing this thing about me. I never wanted to be famous for it.
Host: You are of course referring to the video produced by High Schooler [REDACTED] out of [REDACTED] Highschool who posted a video accusing you of being a time traveler.
Glenn: Yes, well that’s just what started it. You see when something like this breaks onto the internet there will be a group of people that believe it’s real and a group of people that believe it’s fake. . .and quite often they get into fights.
Laughter from the audience, some clapping.
Glenn: Yeah, anyway what ended up happening is that 1,007 years of personal history are kind of easy to find so people began to piece together the fact that this one might be legitimate. It got to the point where one of these insane people pulled my employment history for First National Bank. I was hired there in 2019 and worked until they shut down in 2667.
Host: I see, so naturally as these internet detectives pulled up more and more supporting documentation for this absurd claim those discussions and things got heated.
Glenn: Very heated, and people started contacting me too. I had to end it so I released my video.
Host to audience: For those of you that don’t know, he is referring to this video here.
A video begins to play on a large screen behind the interview area, the camera zooms in and we are now viewing a video on our own screens of Mr.Wright going through documentation such as a birth certificate, a card from the old Social Security system, letters, employee documentation and a stack of drivers licenses, the first of which is shown to have been issued in 2009. The camera then pulls back and the interview area is shown again.
Host: Now, posting this video didn’t put out the fire did it?
Glenn: Made it worse.
Host: Made it worse.
Laughter from the audience
Host: Well you already know what we have done.
Glenn: A panel of independent expert and investigators?
Host: Of Course!
A spotlight highlights a door at the far end of the stage and 4 individuals walk out onto the stage.
Franklin Scotts, hereafter referred to as Franklin. At the time of recording Mr.Scotts was a respected historical researcher who ran a private museum in Manhattan. At the time of this appearance he was 65 years old, see picture 2A if provided.
Jean Rosetta, hereafter referred to as Jean. At the time of recording Mrs.Rosetta was a private investigator for hire servicing the United States of America at large. At the time of this appearance she was 44 years old, see picture 2B if provided. Mrs.Rosetta maintained a flawless case record until her death in 3044.
Cindy White , hereafter referred to as Cindy. At the time of recording Ms.White was an investigative journalist with ties to [REDACTED] allowing access to heavily edited non-public records. At the time of this appearance she was 25 years old see picture 2C if provided.
Jeri Lynn, hereafter referred to as Jeri. At the time of recording Ms.Lynn was a competing investigative journalist to Ms.White and also had ties to [REDACTED] with additional contacts in [REDACTED]. At the time of this appearance she was 33 years old, see picture 3C if provided.
Transcription note #1: Transcriber notes that 4 additional chairs have been added to the stage between camera movements. This section of the video is likely edited and appears to have been aired this way. No edits have been made to the footage by Records Management staff apart from the removal of commercial advertisements which commonly appeared during public video broadcasts in this time. A full unedited version of the footage with commercial advertisements intact can be requested with the filing of form 2A3C1A.
Host: Thank you all for coming
Transcription note #2: The combination of applause, the host encouraging applause and live studio music makes transcription of the following overlapping dialogue impossible. All 5 guests are speaking over each other, shaking hands and appear to be introducing themselves to one another. This appears to continue for 2 minutes and 22 seconds at which point transcription can resume.
Host: Alright so our audience should already know our normal panel of investigators, they have been working with us now for I believe 9 years, it will be 10 this coming Friday.
The audience cheers and applauds
Host: So lay it on us, what did you find to debunk these claims?
There is total silence in the studio as the 4 investigators look between each other.
Cindy: We were talking backstage and. . .Eve. . .we weren’t able to debunk the claims.
The audience gasps, a woman screams, again for no discernible reason.
Jeri: In fact the information that we dug up only supports his claim of being born in the year 1992.
Host: What? What. . .what do you mean?
Glenn: She means that I’ve been telling the truth this whole time.
Host: That’s not. . .possible.
Franklin: I’m sorry Eve, but my colleagues are correct.
Jean nods as the audiences muttering grows louder.
Host: Oh. . .ok, I. . .I. . .
Glenn: Gotcha
Transcription note #3: “Gotcha” is the name of this segment of the show, where the host Eve and her panel of investigators usually find someone who is perpetuating a story on the internet that is fantastical and unbelievable. In all cases but this one the panel is able to prove that the individual at the center of the controversy is in fact lying. Eve will usually end this segment by saying “Gotcha” to the cheers of her audience.
An uncertain laughter ripples through the audience.
Host: You. . .ok, wow, ok, what?
Transcription note #4: Eve looks out across the audience at this point and it is the belief of the historical panel that she is looking at a producer or set lead for some indication that this is a prank or a fluke. This conclusion is drawn by her giving a very fast hand sign to someone off the screen that translates to “Do we keep going?” in studio sign language. The response is obviously a “Yes” as she turns back towards the stage with a forced smile and addresses the panel lead.
Host: Cindy you’re going to have to uhh. . .you’re going. . .uhh.
Cindy: Right, well it’s like Mr.Wright said earlier. 1,007 years of personal history isn’t hard to find, especially with all the proper documents and signatures provided allowing us to go as far as we needed to and help from the subject himself. I mean his educational records are more than enough to verify most of the claim, the man has 72 PhD’s.
Host: Yes, he had made that claim too, you were able to verify that?
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Cindy leans forward at this point and indicates the box that Glenn had entered with.
Cindy: Literally that entire box, Eve, that entire box is the supporting documentation for 30 of the PhD’s. The college he went to has been around since 1636 and they have his records since he joined in 2022. Full records, he attended every semester.
Host: 2022. . .
Jean: His records with First National Bank go back to 2019, after that it gets a little hard to track him as he had worked for a company that failed in 2025 before that and we can’t pull any further records.
Cindy: Until we go to his medical records, now for these we needed Mr.Wright’s assistance as medical information is usually confidential, but we can see through reports from his primary care physicians a solid timeline from 2010 to today. Some of these are hospital records but they are so old we needed to touch base with a historian to look into them.
Franklin: Which is where I came in. I started from as far back as we could.
Transcription note #5: Transcriber notes that a large table has been added to the stage between camera movements. This section of the video is likely edited and appears to have been aired this way. No edits have been made to the footage by Records Management staff apart from the removal of commercial advertisements which commonly appeared during public video broadcasts in this time. A full unedited version of the footage with commercial advertisements intact can be requested with the filing of form 2A3C1A.
Franklin places a stack of books on the table, followed by another and another.
Franklin: These are the school yearbooks that Mr.Wright shows off in his video response to the viral time traveler video.
Franklin holds up a book with a tye-dye cover, it has a large golden 95 imposed on it.
Franklin: This is the oldest book we have, the only surviving record of Mr.Wright’s story that touches the 1900’s--
Glenn: 1990’s
Franklin: Excuse me?
Glenn: The 1990’s, not the 1900’s. That’s like calling 2900 the “900’s”.
Franklin: Uhh, ok. . .my apologies.
Glenn: No, it’s ok, I’m probably the only person left in the world that finds that a weird way to phrase it huh? I mean when I was growing up we just called it the “90’s” but I suppose. . .for you guys that designation has a different meaning.
There is some laughter from the audience but Franklin continues.
Franklin: Anyway, this yearbook is from a school in western California that has since shut down but as you can see this is from the year 1995 and--
The investigator flips the book open to a page marked by a sticky note.
Franklin: It depicts Mr.Wright as a Kindergartner placing his birthdate in approximately 1992 as claimed.
There is muttering from the audience again and once more a woman in the audience screams for no reason.
Host: And. . .and you were able to verify it?
Franklin: It took me 16 months, 16 months out of the 22 that we were working on this. . .but yes, I verified the document.
Several people in the audience scream this time, the muttering reaches such a level that the host has to signal the audience to calm down.
Host: You. . .you verified it.
Franklin: Yeah, I verified all of them, 95 all the way up the last PhD he earned about 2 years ago.
Jean: Using Frank’s research as a base I was able to verify everything else, a domino effect down the line. Mr.Wright is, as he claims, 1,007 years old.
Host: How is that possible?
Glenn: I don’t know, I stopped aging at the age of 30. Of course it took me about 10 years to notice, but as my friends slowly turned gray, started experiencing aches and pains, grew tired faster and began to wrinkle it became obvious that something was wrong.
Transcription note #6: Transcriber notes that the experts have left the stage between camera movements. This section of the video is likely edited and appears to have been aired this way. No edits have been made to the footage by Records Management staff apart from the removal of commercial advertisements which commonly appeared during public video broadcasts in this time. A full unedited version of the footage with commercial advertisements intact can be requested with the filing of form 2A3C1A.
The camera pulls out to show the entire stage.
Host: What was it like, the 1990’s?
Glenn: Well you need to remember that I was born in 1992 so by 1999 I was only 7 years old, my full childhood was more in the 2000’s. It was a good time though, it was a good time. I was born in the age of cassette tapes and VHS, I am older than Google, older than the internet the way you know it today. I was born at a time where there were only 50 states. . .
Host: Are you ok?
Glenn: Eve. . .I have forgotten more than you would ever have the capacity to learn in 50 normal life times. I don’t really like to think about the past.
Host: What do you think, why do you think you were blessed with this incredible gift?
Transcription note #7: Blue band transcription ends here, all transcriptions green band and above continue with this content warning. Potentially disturbing content ahead, mentions of suicide, mentions of attempted suicide. Please do not continue transcription if these topics are disturbing to you. Please check documentation to ensure you are supposed to have the level of transcription you have before continuing.
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Glenn: Gift!? You think this is a gift!?
Host: Uhh, well. . .yes, who wouldn’t want to live forever?
Glenn: As the leading expert on that topic let me adjust your point of view.
Host: Uhh. . .
Glenn: I have had and I have lost more friends than there are people on this planet.
Host: I--
Glenn: I have loved enough people to fill this city and they are also, all gone.
Host: We--
Glenn: Do you know what it’s like, Eve? Do any of you have ANY idea what it is like to go to 7 billion funerals. . .and you’re never the one in the coffin?
The host and the audience are silent at this point.
Glenn: I can’t die naturally and I can’t be killed. I put a bullet in my mouth and I swallow it, I put a blade to my skin and it breaks, I can’t drown or asphyxiate myself because I don’t need to breathe. I have exited a starship and walked on its hull in space with nothing but the clothing on my back.
Host: Mr.Wright?
Glenn: You have no idea how many times, how many ways I have tried to end this nightmare, Eve. I have outlived the entire city I grew up in, buildings and all, I will outlive everyone in this room, every person who is watching and who will ever watch this broadcast. When I meet someone new, when I make friends I have to accept that one day I will be sitting at their funeral. I can’t even have a real relationship. I can’t fall in love, it’s all holograms and hookers for me! My heart can’t take out living an entire family again.
Host: I--
Glenn: I will outlive Earth, I will outlive this solar system and I will outlive this galaxy. Imagine knowing that that’s what your future is. One day, Eve, one day I won’t be able to visit the MULTIPLE GRAVEYARDS filled by my friends and family because the planet won’t be here to visit anymore.
Host: W--
Glenn: One day I will be floating through space, the single survivor of an entire universe. . .so this isn’t a gift, Eve, this has never been a gift. Everything is meant to have an end and it’s hard to value a life that simply won’t have one.
Host: Wow, well . . .
Glenn: Sorry, I didn’t mean. . .you can imagine how many times I have heard this referred to as a gift, as a good thing. Comments, tons of people wishing they would live forever too. No one thinks about how long “forever” is, Eve. No one considers the fact that you will witness the fiery end of every world you visit.
Host: How many. . .families?
Glenn: 8, 8 entire families that no longer exist, I decided there was no way I could handle a 9th. I resigned myself to fleeting encounters whenever the urge came up. It’s very easy for me to find a high paying job and work for several decades before leaving and spending the next several living off that money.
Host: Safe to say you’ve explored the world then?
Glenn: Very safe, I have seen things that don’t exist anymore. I’ve walked the streets of downtown Honolulu Hawaii, lived there before they became the atolls you know them as today. I walked through the arctics in their original iteration, their natural form not their reconstruction. I walked along the Great Wall of China before it fell to its age and I have stood on the top floor of the World Trade Center's North tower before it was destroyed on September 11th 2001, a day our nation swore it would ever forget, yet no one in this room could could tell me about it today. From there I have been out with the space programs, starting in the days of Elon Musk, through the age of “Starfleet” and everyone's obsession with Star Wars and Star Trek, to what we have now with the Unification Syndicate. I’ve been to numerous words, explored them, unfortunately made more friends too but they have much longer life spans than you guys.
Host: Well you’ve definitely. . .changed my thoughts on this. Are you still up for playing the games and things that we had set up?
Glenn: Of course! Sorry! Maybe if you can give us a commercial break here? We can move on from there.
Host: Alright, you heard the man, when we come back audience members will have a chance to win cash prizes and trips! Can you adequately determine what objects were used for in the 90’s and 2000’s?
A picture of a toaster appears on the large screen to the back of the stage and the audience cheers.
Host: Right!? What even is that!?
Glenn: Oh my god. . .
Host: That and our countdown to the year 3000 after the break!
Final Transcription Note: This is the end of the serious interview which would later go viral and become the bases of hundreds of studies. Mr.Wright was never seen again following this appearance but experts believe he took a shuttle off planet and is living somewhere in the Hotel Quadrant in deep space. Transcription of the remaining episode of the Tonight Show can be obtained with form: 1137-7 for research and entertainment use.