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Interstellar Warlock
Chapter 4: The Commonroom and Socialization

Chapter 4: The Commonroom and Socialization

Humans are an enigma. They are similar to most sapient species I have encountered when it comes to their appearance, but they are so different from the rest of us. Humans lack the longevity of elves, dwarves, gnomes, and even halflings. Strength is not a gift of theirs either unlike trolls, magic is not something they have a strong racial affinity for and they are not united under a singular ideal or purpose. Yet, some of the strongest warriors and magi of all time have been Humans as well as some of the most long-lived immortals and great united armies have been humans. They are wandering contradictions, and both sides of my blood have been socialized to have little regard for them.

In short, humans are completely alien to me. So, I cursed my luck as I wandered down the strange metallic corridors of the starship known as the Incredulous while walking behind the human who had introduced himself as Captain Torran Pierce. The odd name did not phase me in the slightest, compared to the events of the past....however long I have been in this new world, a strange name is like nothing to me. I ignore the human's attempt at conversing as my focus is more on the strange interior of this ship. If I ever returned to my world, knowing how to create a device such as this would make me the undisputed lord and master of it.

The NVR interface once again proves it's usefulness as over every notable item that I can see in the ship, the name of the item floats above it. Everything from "Lightswitches" to "control panels" and "veb portal" is filed into my growing vocabulary. The worst thing one can do in a new environment is revealing oneself to be an amateur as most places are not kind to them. Therefore being able to learn these terms is vital for me to secure enough knowledge, to produce an illusion of knowledge to outsiders. Asking for help is beneath me and too humiliating a task, therefore, ensuring that I learn about this world is up to me alone. Maintaining my leverage when dealing with these humans would be essential, and that meant ensuring that I showed no weakness.

The Captain leads me into a larger room in the ship, my cursory examination makes me deduce that it is likely a common room of some kind. There are several queer benches that are padded extensively, which my NVR informs me are named "couches". There are four staircases: two leading down to a lower floor and two leading up to a higher one. Each staircase is placed in one of the four corners of the room. In the middle of the common room surrounded by the couches, there is some kind of circular machine built into the floor. Apparently, it is called a "VR monitor". Besides these, there are various exotic potted plants and what seems to be some kind of advanced kitchen area. I was only able to guess as much due to the helpful subtitles provided by my interface as I spotted the "cooking plate" and the "micro-oven".

Besides the interior of the common room, there is also another human here. A lithe human female is seated on one of the couches while reading a "magazine". Her appearance is far stranger than the Captain who while wearing strange clothes and having an artificial arm, seems normal enough based on what I know of human anatomy and appearances. This woman seems to have drained the colors out of a nearby rainbow and fused them with her hair. Almost every inch of her arms and bare legs are covered in tattoos with everything from stars on her fingers to fire and draconic figures snaking their ways along her arms and legs. After just a few seconds I decide to give up trying to catalog all the tattoos, I sense no mana attached to them so their purpose must be purely aesthetic. 

The woman closes the colorful booklet in her hands and rises from the couch. The Captain gives me an easygoing smile and gestures to her. "This is our esteemed navigator and therapist, Namatha Violet." The woman gives me a far more vibrant smile as she dismisses the Captain's statement with a lazy hand movement. "Esteemed is a bit too strong of a word but I like to think I keep the minds of the ship from collapsing in on themselves." I wondered exactly what kind of healing a therapist would be administering. My NVR mentioned something about having sent a request for a therapist's appointment after my "mental health" had been damaged. The implications of being to objectively measure the health of one's spirit had just now dawned on me. While I am no healer it seemed like the most interesting discovery that I had made so far.

Before I could get into fantasies about experimentation with mental health and magic, I see that Namatha gives me a strange look before she walks closer to me. "How are you feeling, how are you really feeling? It must have been traumatizing have been dragged from your homeworld and dumped into the vacuum of space." She gives me a smile and nods to me "But before we get bogged down into that may I ask what your name is." Behind Namatha I can see Torran smack his forehead with his open palm. The woman quickly like a striking viper spins around and presumably glares at the Captain because he visibly shrinks underneath what must be a withering glare. "We have a new arrival on the ship, and you did not even think to ask what their name is?" She says with a deceptively calm voice, that seems to display her rage through radiating cold rather than heat.

"I am sorry Namatha, I just got into the zone and I got kinda caught up in it." The Captain blubbers for a few seconds as he replies to her. This display was both too awkward and too pointless for me to bother with any further so I took charge of the situation. "My name is Glyphnax, and to answer further...the journey here was hard but I am managing fine thank you." The two turn their attention to me as I spoke up and I notice a strange glint in the eye of the human woman before she replies. "Well, it is nice to meet you...Glyphnax." The Captain had a far more...irritating reaction than Namathas polite greeting as he says with a mirthful tone. "Can I call you...Glyph please, Glyphnax is just a bit too much"

I kept my annoyance suppressed at this ingrate of a human dared to mock my name with his unworthy lips, I sigh deeply and merely shrug in response to that ridiculous request. Without any leverage, I am in no position to start making demands just yet. Namatha seems to have similar feelings on the subject as I do, but I speak up before we can linger on the subject. "I am...grateful for the assistance and healing you have provided." It has been long since I have had to use such base courtesies when addressing humans, but even when dealing with such a species it behooves oneself to maintain some level of basic courtesy.

The Captain gives me what I am sure he believes is a disarming smile as she says. "Oh you are welcome Glyph, we are happy to help a fellow outsider in need." Namatha meanwhile walks up close to me with a more serious expression. "Could you tell us anything about the ones who dumped you there Glyphnax? I know it might be difficult talking about it now, but if there are locals who kidnap nol... people like you and dump them in space after abusing them. We need to know so we can take some kind of action." Her tone sounds strange to me as she meets my eyes, but eye contact has always been uncomfortable for me so I avoid it as she talks to me. Her eyes search for mine trying to meet them, but she quickly gives up as she finishes her question.

The question presented me with certain difficulties, It was too direct for me to talk around it or deflect it and I still did not have enough context about this world to come up with a convincing lie. I could, of course, refuse to answer the question, but such a display of weakness would be beneath me. Stalling for time would be the best option and I began to search through my options for doing just that. At that moment the universe finally decided to reward me for once, as I suddenly began hearing loud footsteps up one of the staircases.

If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

I look over to see what has to be the most fascinating creature that I have seen in the last 30 years, wandering up the staircase to the common room. A large creature that seems to be composed entirely of plant matter comes up towards me. It wanders on six massive trunklike legs that seem to be composed of roots and vines interwoven together. The legs lead up to a stout and slightly oval body of thick plant matter with several pink and orange orbs stuttered all over it.  deduce that the orbs must be organs of some kind, but this was just wild speculation on my end. Out from the body, I see five vinelike tentacles stretch out, all with three finger-like digits at the end of them. The top of the oval several leaves forms almost a podium for a gigantic venus flytrap mouth to stick up. The creature wears a large black bow on top of said mouth.

Namatha quickly speaks up with a slight hint of worry to her voice "This Glyphnax, is Tlokbur Truefang our ship's engineer." I ignore her comment as I just stare at Tlokbur in fascination and I feel a grin growing across my face. That grin stops as Tlokbur begins emitting sounds that should be completely incomprehensible, yet I understand them perfectly. It is almost as if Tlokbur had someone translating what they said just as they said it. "Oh hiya, I am as Nam said the engineer here. I keep the ship working and flying n shooting and cooking n smokingz." The venus flytrap head bows forward in what seems to be some kind of nod. I, on the other hand, lift my hand to touch my ear. "Why can I understand you?" I ask in a calm yet incredulous manner as my fingers trace my pointed ears.

"Ohhhhhh that yes, I forgot Morgera said you were a pre-infusion uplift. You see your NVR has a registry of languages in it that it automatically translates. The translation is not always perfect ya know. BUT! it should do the trick for ya I suspect." Tlokbur explains cheerily to me as it brings their massive body toward me and I get an even closer look at it. "Oh I should tell y'all that I am female now, so She and Her from now on. I thought a black bow would be a good signal for it as opposed to the pink one I wear when I am male." Captain Torran lifts his hand with his thumb stretched up in the air. "It sure is and it suits you so well sweetie" Is what he says to her with a broad smile. Namatha stretches out her hand with her palm pointing up. Tlokbur smacks her tentacle down into it making a loud clapping noise.

She pushes two of her tentacles together with a finger from each touching the other in front of her body and speaks in what seems to be a nervous tone. " I haven't been a girl in yeeeears now, but I got so inspired while reading Princess Star Zenia and the Nightstalkers, sooo I just felt the click and now aum a girl again baybeeeh" She seems to become more and more exhilarated as she speaks before her attention rapidly turns to me again. "Ohhhh so Glyphie you are an uplift, right? Well, I would love to hear more about your home! Were there any knights or cool heroes back there?" Tlokbur speaks rapidly and hits me with the most unknown and sinister attack I have ever faced in social combat: Pure Enthusiasm. 

I stare at Tlokbur in pure horror as she continues her relentless assault. No matter how much I purge my brain to find a counter to it, I am left stunned and helpless before the cheery and neverending barrage of questions she unleashes upon me. Thankfully Namatha rises to the occasion and comes to my rescue like a patron deity sent to guard me. "Tlokbur honey, maybe it would be for the best if we let Glyphnax recover so they can tell their story." Tlokbur hangs her top dejectedly and I allow myself a sigh of relief just as a system message appears before me.

NOTE: You have sustained 7 mental damage. Temporary Condition: Overwhelmed by Cuteness

BAH! I almost wave the message aside in irritation. Tlokbur is a massive creature made out of plant matter without a drop of mana animating her. Aesthetics of her personality is not what is the interesting part here. What kind of stupid word is cuteness anyway?! My dignified vocabulary would not have such an undignified and unseemly term within it. The system is right in part however, the assault has left my thoughts more sluggish than before. Making a convincing deception will be more difficult for me in this state. Yet, I will not retreat from this "cuteness" attack. No plant engineer will make me falter.

"Ehem, well I was in a...battle back on my world. I fought several adventurers, but I had been weakened from several days of work so they overwhelmed me." The three crewmembers listen intently but Tlokbur seemly can't help herself to add oohs and ahhs as I recount my amalgam of fact and fiction. "I managed to escape however and ended up being on a strange ship. I honestly don't remember much from the trip after my escape, except that It was decidedly not pleasant and I ended up stranded in a dark void." I shudder at the memory of the void and shake my head before I continue to speak. "Then I woke up on this ship and I met Mara." I considered calling Mara a spirit but I decided that doing so would reveal me to be an amateur.

When I finish my tale my gaze moves between the three of them, while I desperately try to gouge their reactions. Reading Tlokbur is a pointless endeavor as her body language is too alien for me to decipher after only a short time to observe her. My real targets were the Captain and Namatha as their human body-language would be far easier for me to read. Unfortunately, both of them do not reveal much to me as I can only see concern and thoughtfulness radiate from both of them.

Namatha eventually speaks up after we all stood there in silence for a few moments. "Now, we have to get the hard part out of the way. In galactic society, people like you and some people unlike you are called Uplifts. The term refers to your status as being from a species that has not yet achieved regular interstellar flight. The various galactic governments have agreed upon laws meant to protect Uplift societies from violations from Recognized Species. We usually call them RecSpecs for short if the abbreviation interests you. Anyway, the main point is that one of those laws is that once a being has been uplifted they cannot be returned to their homeworld. " She states that last sentence like she were a surgeon ripping out an arrow from a limb. However, her statement did not phase me in the slightest. When my powers have returned to their former glory, I could return to my old home at any time of my choosing and they would be powerless to stop me. 

I amused myself with that thought for a moment, before I realized by the grave look Namatha had on her face, that she expected some kind of response. I ahemed and said, "I will adapt to that". Nametha just looked at me coldly for a few seconds before nodding to me. "Well, the important thing is that you now know," Torran interjects with a reassuring smile and he pats Tlokbur on...a part of her "torso". He then continues speaking casually as he moves closer to me and Namatha. "Mara informed me about you wanting to travel with the Crew as you know, but that is a pretty major life decision. Both for us and you, so before you make it I thought it would be the best for you to experience galactic life a bit more. We can have a preliminary working agreement of course, but what do you say to go out with us to experience some more society first."

The choice had already been made of course as my magical contract required me to be a member of this crew. However, it would do me no harm to play along and pretend that the decision had been made for them. This expedition would also give me valuable opportunities to gather intelligence about this world. Therefore, I merely smiled in what I hoped would be a warm smile and nodded to him to show I agreed with his suggestion. Torran turns to look at Tlokbur and says "Oh Tlokbur would you be a dear and give Glyph their system tutorial? Mara has already helped them install the interface and showed them the layout. You are however the best of us when it comes to the more advanced skills, and they have the outlaw edition so they are going to need to be prepared.

Tlokbur claps four of their five tentacles together enthusiastically. "Of course I can help Glyphie, I am the best scrambler and skulker on the ship after all" I detect a not unreasonable amount of pride in her statement. Torran turns to Namatha and nods simply. "I am going to check out some things up by the cockpit, could you check your office and chart out the routes for the next mission please." Namatha smiles and lifts up her thumb in that odd greeting I had seen before from the Captain. With that the two of them wander off to do their errands, leaving only me and Tlokbur in the common room.

Tlokbur flails her tentacle arms excitedly and I stare at her with dawning horror. "Well then Glyphie, shall we get started with the magical world of fun that is Interface skillz". She says practically oozing innocent glee and another system message appears in my vision.

Temporary Condition gained: Cuteness Overload