Kyrylo stared up at the ceiling in his bedroom. His body hurt. He had been in this position for thirty minutes already, regularly checking his phone and attempting to find a motivation to get out of bed. Just moving his arm to get to his phone had hurt. He attempted to roll onto his side and his obliques rejected him. Muscles up the side of his chest that he didn’t know existed screamed. He wasn’t going anywhere.

So he was stuck counting the different stains above him, tracing the thin crack that weaved between them. And then he would go over what happened yesterday in his head. The fusion, the city, the descent, the Rat King. He would hear Drakmir’s voice calling out for entertainment, Shychur’s confidence in his desperation.

Felix had almost collapsed on him when they had finally returned. Kyrylo had to half-carry him onto a bus and then hope Felix would make it all the way to his house. They lived too far from each other for Kyrylo to take him all the way there without passing out himself. Plus, he had never been allowed inside Felix’s apartment before and he didn’t want to violate that.

He replayed the day again. It was normal for them to be assigned some patrols, do them, then go home. They would just need to file some reports the next day but it was typical for them to do a patrol and then just go home. No one was going to suspect anything. Nobody was expecting them to come back after their patrol.

Kyrylo sat bolt upright in the bed, grasping at his sides and wincing as his muscles protested the sudden movement.

The bathroom key.

They had walked straight out the door with it in hand. It was probably still in Felix’s pocket or…lost forever in the spirit realm. Kyryrlo was hobbling around his room, trying his best to change into new clothes, gingerly moving his arms and bending over until he was in a fresh outfit. He juggled his phone, almost dropping it several times before finding his way to messaging Felix. He didn’t have his contact information, just had to use the messaging app the RIF had given them.

Kyrylo: are you awake? do you have the key still??

He stared at the message, then to Felix’s profile. It didn’t show him as online, just a grey circle under his picture, a picture that still showed him with a full head of hair and a wide smile.

The vent above him rattled and he jumped slightly, feeling his heartbeat take off. It was just the air conditioning starting up; today was going to be abnormally hot according to the forecast on Kyrylo’s phone. He was used to that sound, used to a lot of things in this aging apartment even though he had only lived here a month. When he had first joined the RIF, getting his own place paid for by them was a big perk they sold him on, not mentioning it would take them a while to arrange a living situation and they didn’t have money.

He did his best to make himself look presentable in the bathroom, ruffling fingers through his hair in the hopes it would settle. He could get most of the short, brown strands into place, except for a peak at the back that refused to die down. He sighed into his reflection. He looked tired.

The alarm went off on his phone. He had to be in the office by nine so they could do their daily briefing by ten. He swiped away the reminder and grabbed his glasses. One of his lenses was cracked. They had survived the fight but he had taken them off as he got on the subway to go home and accidentally sat on them. He would have to go digging for his emergency pair, lest he break out the extreme emergency contacts he hated to wear.

He managed to get himself together and stood at his door, resting his muscles for a moment. As he moved they started to improve but it wasn’t perfect, nor was it instant. He had to keep pausing for recovery. He sucked in a deep breath to pull himself together and get on his way.

His phone buzzed in his pocket.

A simple buzz. A text type of buzz. Could be from a text, could be from his work app. Could just be a random notification. He would shatter his screen if it was an app on his phone reminding him he hadn’t opened it in a week.

Not from Felix, it turned out. Not from his work app, not from any app at all, actually. Just a regular, plain text.

From Isabelle.

Which was technically normal. They did text, they texted quite a bit normally, especially about classes, assignments, who was saving a seat. That had all dried up when he had finally pulled the plug on attending school.

This was just different because the last time they had spoken was supposed to be the last time. And instead it had been to get together, outside of school, just to talk, to hang out. She said she would text when she was free.

Isabelle: I’m free tonight, we should do something!

He stared at the phone as he walked out of his apartment, went down the creaky stairs, felt the door swing open too easily as it always did and it banged into the wall per normal. He didn’t look up as he sauntered down the stairs into the subway tunnel. Watched the screen while he rode over the few stops to the RIF office.

There was no answer he was any closer to. He knew he was supposed to never reply. He should block the number and not look back. He wasn’t going to do that,

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

He also didn’t know what was about to happen at work. Fatima would ask where the key was, would chew them out for taking access to the only good bathroom for an entire day and demand an explanation. And he still didn’t know if they were on to him yet, if they were going to haul him down to an execution chamber the second he showed up.

Kyrylo: yeah let’s chat

He wasn’t sure how the words appeared on his phone or what texted them. He knew he did it, watched his fingers type out all the words and hit send but it was all a blur.

The RIF office building appeared as innocuous as ever in front of him. He had almost forgotten about the pain across his body, the constant ache in his muscles as he trudged his way to his usual workplace. And he still hadn’t heard from Felix.

The doors opened automatically as Kyrylo stepped inside, face still buried in his phone as he approached reception, his hand digging into his pocket for his keycard to go further.

“Pay attention.” Kyrylo froze in place, keycard hovering above the entrance to tap in. That was Felix’s voice. He checked to his sides and saw nobody, then almost leaped into the air at the tap on his shoulder. Felix was behind him. The man at reception looked up at the pair but didn’t say anything, returning to his own computer.

“What the hell, man?” Kyrylo hissed through his teeth. “What happened?”

“I was standing right there.” Felix pointed to just outside the door. “I thought I would grab you going in but you didn’t even notice, like you’re in some stupid trance. Get your shit together.”

“Sorry, I just…” Kyrylo stuffed his phone into his pocket. He felt it buzz in response and he resisted every urge in him to check, leaving it up to fate and hoping Isabelle would forgive him later for not immediately replying to her. “Not here.”

“Obviously,” Felix replied, swiveling on his heel and walking straight out, taking them across the street to the cafe. This was the usual haunt for some of the RIF employees since it was next door, but in the morning people really just came in to grab their coffee and leave and it was highly unlikely anyone would be sticking around. It also had The Corner, the pair of seats awkwardly tucked behind a wall where everyone in the office knew you could go to gossip. They would be safe there.

Kyrylo opened his mouth to speak but Felix waved him off. His jaw snapped closed. “I will reiterate my opinion that all of this is fucking nuts.” Felix gave a pretend smile to the cafe employee and ordered a coffee for each of them. They descended onto The Corner and sat staring at each other.

“You know I don’t like coffee,” Kyrylo finally said.

“That’s why I ordered it,” Felix answered. The server set the drinks down in front of them and dashed back to deal with the ongoing morning rush. “Now you’re going to tell me what happened last night.”

“Wait, you mean like after we left?”

“No, I have that part, I made it home. I’m kind of fuzzy on how we got out or…what happened.” Felix momentarily went red, just a flash of embarrassment that Kyrylo had never seen. This was a vulnerability Felix refused to give him.

“I don’t…what do you mean you don’t know what happened?”

“I mean I remember going into the spirit realm and the sewers and everything and then you fought that kid and there was the Rat King. And then we were just…walking out of the sewer. It kind of jumps.”

Kyrylo put his hand across his mouth and glanced down, doing his best to suppress his reaction. “You…that makes sense. I think you got a concussion.”

“I figured,” Felix replied, pointing to the side of his head. The scabs from his cuts were visible on his exposed skin. “You wake up with these and you have to guess it was a rough fight. That we won?”

Kyrylo shrugged. He wasn’t really sure how to explain how they had gotten out, how they had pulled off the victory. It was all he had been thinking about after waking up and he still didn’t fully understand it. But he did his best to convey it all to Felix, who sat and sipped at his coffee every so often and didn’t say anything else, no questions, no interjections, just heard it.

“You’ve never let me talk that long,” Kyrylo said as he finished.

Felix watched him over the rim of his cup and finally put it down, the empty container clinking against the saucer. “I don’t have a choice it’s…it’s really weird to just not have memory. I can’t really explain I just…want it filled in again. And I can’t.”

“Oh.” They returned to silence some more until Kyrylo was reminded of his original concern. “Do you have the key?”

Felix raised an eyebrow. “I gave it back, remember? You should be better at this, you’re the Rat King after all.” Kyrylo couldn’t tell how Felix said those last few words. It almost sounded like there was a layer of contempt in them. But that was also how his sarcasm came along, a way to take Kyrylo down a peg for doing something successful. It felt off in a way Kyrylo couldn’t pin down.

But they didn’t have a whole lot of time left to chat. It was already past nine and while they wouldn’t be punished for being late, they had to attend the morning briefing or they would face more serious consequences.

Kyrylo stole a glance at his phone as the two left the cafe, angling it from his pocket so he could read the message.

Isabelle: can we do something near your place? There’s too much construction here

Kyrylo felt his throat tighten. There were fantasies he’d imagined where this was how their date started, how a lot of things started. This was everything he would have asked for just weeks ago.

But his stomach was also doing flips because he absolutely should not be telling anyone where his apartment was. That was the whole point of moving out and cutting everyone off. He could not, under any circumstances, have her come around to where he was.

Kyrylo: sure, I’m just near Brightberg station

He shoved his phone back in his pocket, furious with himself and elated, frustrated and jovial. He couldn’t keep texting, he had to stop and get his wits together and then later send her some text about it not actually working and stop agreeing to hang out with her.

But he couldn’t stop smiling as he withdrew his keycard and approached the entrance once again, tapping it against the sensor…and walking straight into the plastic doors of the gate, unmoving. He coughed and almost flipped over them as they pressed into his abdomen. His muscles lit up in pain again, seizing the opportunity to join in the suffering.

“Sorry,” the man at reception said. The sign on the counter said his name was Dirk. “Can you try it again?”

“Sure,” Kyrylo grumbled, stepping back into Felix behind him as both of them awkwardly restarted their entry. He ran his card over the sensor again.

“Oh.” Dirk's fingers clicked away on his keyboard. Kyrylo felt the twisting in his stomach as seconds ticked by. “It says access revoked.”