When Ino woke up the next day she felt horrible. Absolutely, excruciatingly, run over by a stampede of raging bulls, horrible.
Why do I feel so horrible? Ino asked herself. All she did yesterday was fight 5 civilians, then perform 3 days of surgery in only 5 hours. Yep, that's probably why. Sure Naruto’s chakra was a blessing while she was performing, but if this was the aftermath. Ino was having second thoughts about ever asking for more.
She heaved herself off the thin straw mattress that the villagers had given her. Her back ached from needing to wear her combat uniform throughout the night. Her chain mesh underlayer was really starting to chafe. And, her back ached from when she rolled onto it, mainly because she kept her back pouch attached to her person. Just like she was trained to.
Rubbing the sleep from her eyes she scanned her little abode. Really it wasn’t much, a single room, herbs hanging from the rafters. Old stained tatami mats across the floor, a central firepit with an old banged-up kettle. Her benefactor was sleeping on a straw mattress in the other corner. Her husband has been kicked out so Ino could have both a “safe” place to sleep and to preserve her modesty. Mostly, it's because it came out that she was the Head of the Yamanaka Clan. Not that her clan owned this hamlet, the general area was Nara territory. So by extension, she was treated like the important person that she is.
Still, she ambled her way over to the old pot. It hung over a banked pile of charcoal. Inside was the rice gruel they made last night. Supposedly it was better than they usually ate, it had some fried pork belly and forest berries. She almost felt bad as she ate the rest, but then she remembered that she saved their little hamlet the day before for effectively free. Her inkling of remorse disappeared.
Ino wanted to leave early. Get to a town and resupply. She used too much of her med kit to feel safe. And she wanted to have a nice bed to sleep on. Sure she could sleep on the hard ground for months on end. The war proved that much. But, if she could sleep in a comfy bed, then that's what she would do.
Silently, she exited the house. Her hair was still done from the night before, albeit with more knots and tangles from sleeping than she would like. Most of the blood washed out easily, but having to only use cold water made it take more effort than she would usually care to use.
She looked around the sleepy hamlet. A couple of men were tending to some charcoal kilns. Apparently, that was what they sold in town.
Ino spotted Naruto’s golden hair and orange jacket through the gaps in between the logs that made up the wall. She quietly slipped over to see him.
“... that’s how I’ll get ya’ll over to the town, OK?” Naruto said.
Ino walked over to oversee the process of what was going to happen.
Suddenly there was a cloud of chakra smoke, and 15 Narutos appeared. Wow he’s gotten good at using that jutsu, no hand signs or mnemonics. All of the clones picked up a bound and gagged bandit and formed a gaggle on the road. They left the hamlet behind. The sprint to the hamlet took 4 minutes to run and now took close to 40 minutes to make it back to the main road.
I thought only one Naruto was annoying. Apparently, his clones also love to chatter at each other, like birds. I don’t think it’s even an actual conversation, they're just talking to talk. Ino was thoroughly unimpressed with the operational professionalism Naruto was showing.
An annoyed Ino just wanted to go somewhere quiet and take a nap. “All right Naruto and Clones. I want to finish this mission quickly, so let's speed this up.” With that she started to run through the trees, leaving the road entirely so she could make it to the town almost in half the time. She only distantly heard Naruto and clones complain about having to make an effort for the bossy bitch. Which was not professional at all, and kinda hurtful.
After only 10 minutes of the tree running they made it to an outer wall. This one of concrete and plaster topped with a parapet with crenellations. The wall also had braziers every few feet to help warm the guards. The wall also sported wooden guard towers every 50 meters, with spotlights mounted inside.
When they all made it to an official gate of the town, all they needed to do was flash their Hitai-ate and their shinobi ID card. Really it must be a surprise to see almost a platoon of shinobi walk through the gates with prisoners. Ino asked, and with much stuttering and blushing the guard led them to the jail the town had.
After making such an early morning procession through the town. They arrived at the courthouse and jail. Using the side entrance to the jail they were met with a nervous magistrate. He was an old man, with balding white hair. He wore a red haori with golden herons decorating the lapels. Underneath a blue hakama that seemed to be quickly thrown on, seeing that it was slightly rumpled and the lapels were not straight.
“Ah, um, Master Shinobi. How might this humble magistrate assist you.” The magistrate dry-washed his hands while bowing low. His eyes darted between Ino and all the Narutos. A Naruto shifted a bandit on his shoulder making the bandit grunt. The magistrate flinched.
An oblivious Naruto just looked curiously around the front office. Face slack and eyes wandering.
Ino decided that it was up to her to finish this mission. “Yes, Magistrate, we, while we're doing our duties, captured these fifteen bandits attacking hamlet number 1245. We have come to turn them in for the standard bounty.” Ino was pleased with herself. She felt like death, but she was still following proper decorum, mostly.
“AH! Yes! Bounty! Uh, that's going to be 150 ryo per bandit. Since the war, the Daimyo has increased the standard bounty. Please allow my Yoriki, Muranaka, to dispense your reward.” He waved a hand to a bald sickly pale man. Muranaka licked his lips as he stared unblinkingly at all of the bandits. He reached into a drawer in a desk and handed over a large stack of bills. Ino despite her tiredness counted the bills, the full amount was there.
“Thank you, Magistrate.” Ino gave a small nod of her head, as befitting her station. She gave a hand sign to Naruto to drop the bandits on the floor. He did and dispelled his clones in a large puff of smoke. Ino quickly walked out of the office, and if anyone said she fled, she would say she was just keeping the mystique of the shinobi.
As they were walking along the road, Ino was on the lookout for a nice onsen. But Naruto seemed to have other motives. “Oh! Hay, There's a discount movie theater! Let's go watch a movie! I think there's a nice mystery out, something about a murder on a train. Oh, have you ever been on a train? They’re super…” Ino tuned him out and made her way over to the theater, maybe some popcorn would make her feel better. She always liked it super buttery, even if she had to cheat on her diet.
They made their way inside, and all of the staff couldn't stop staring at them. Some at Ino, cause she looked amazing, but mostly at their Hitai-ate. Ino walked over to the concession stand and got a large popcorn bucket, some chips Chogi managed to hook her on, and water. After all, she was still on a diet. She met up with Naruto at the ticket taker leading into the screen.
After sitting through some weird commercials about sandals, and how to win a trip to Hot Springs Country the movie started. As the movie went along and Ino munched through her bucket (only occasionally needing to slap the idiot’s hand away), she felt her eyes get heavy. She laid her head on Naruto’s shoulder and decided to take a nap.
—
Naruto watched the movie. It was one he had already seen with the old pervert. The movie was a few years old, apparently, it was difficult to get new movies delivered to the ass end of nowhere. He carefully finagled the popcorn bucket from Ino’s death grip. Munching on the almost disgustingly over-buttered popcorn, Naruto thought about his traveling companion.
Ya, sure she was a bit mean at times. But he could feel how sad she was. She was also feeling homesick, and super stressed. So Naruto did what he did best, annoy people. After all, it’s hard to feel sad if you’re annoyed at a chatterbox.
Actually, he could feel the emotions of everyone in town. Actually... Actually, he could feel the emotions of everyone in town and a few of the outlying villages and hamlets. It was super annoying. But, it was better to be in the middle of a city where there were so many emotions going on at once that they just drowned each other out. Like the ambient noise in a coffee shop. It was also just easier in places where people were having the same general emotion, like a movie theater. Unfortunately, there weren't many people seeing a movie at 7 in the morning on a Wednesday.
Naruto relaxed in his seat. It was kinda lumpy, and the armrests were sticky, but the screen was in focus at least. He sat back and watched as the detective, a Doshin, was chewed out by his supervising Youriki. Apparently, it was in poor taste to beat a subject to death just because they were part of a gang.
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
Naruto’s knuckles scraped the bottom of the bucket. He still had a snoring Ino on his shoulder and he didn’t want to wake her up. She did a good job handling so much chakra yesterday, she had to be exhausted. He pushed an absolutely minuscule amount of chakra through his tenketsu, it shifted and knotted in the open air. A clone of him forming, it was really weird to see a shadow clone form. It was really a slow fade from nothing into reality like a ghost deciding to become corporeal. Naruto held a finger to his lips for quiet, nodded his head to the sleeping Ino, and shook the popcorn bucket at the clone.
Of course, the clone gave him the stink eye. Who wouldn’t want a gorgeous woman to sleep on you? Even he was jealous of himself. The clone snatched the bucket and some cash, and probably grumbled all the way to the snack counter. Hopefully, the clone butters it a lot, that way Ino won't get too mad at him for stealing her food, her slaps hurt, and she didn’t even need to look. Kinda freaky.
The bucket came back almost full, damn clones, they know that what they eat doesn’t do anything. Maybe it restores some chakra they have but in the grand scheme of things it doesn't really do anything. The clone silently faded away, a reverse of how it formed. Really freaky.
The story went through the usual beats. The clues were followed, the bad guy was found, the girl was captured, his goons were killed, and the bad guy was let go. The usual. The movie ended and when the credits were halfway and the lights came back on, Ino woke up. She felt a little better, but she was still bad.
“Hay, I think I saw a bathhouse a little while away, want to hit that and rest some more?” Naruto knew she would say yes, girls loved onsens, fuck, he loved onsens.
“Really, I was looking for one. Do you think it's clean?” Naruto didn’t know if it was clean, but that’s what the clones were for.
“No, but I can go check while we go and get some breakfast or something, ya know?” They left through the foyer, throwing away the empty bucket and cup. As they passed an ally, Naruto popped a clone into being who ran off to find a good onsen and inn. Hopefully, there was one with both here.
“Oh, that restaurant looks fine. Let's go there.”
They both sat in a booth in a corner of the restaurant, where they together had a view of the front and back entrance. After they got their ordered coffee Ino broke their comfy silence.
“Ok, time to debrief.” Ino stirred some fresh cream Into her coffee, “So I want to know, why. Why did we stop that attack, why did we heal the bandits afterward, why did we bring them to a jail.”
“Well, we stopped the attack because it was the right thing to do.” Naruto could feel the ambivalence from Ino, he put a few more sugar cubes in his coffee.” Ya know. The village was just being attacked, we can help, so we should. Simple.”
Ino looked at him as if he was the dumbest man alive. “Do you know the cost of this mission?”
“Cost? Like supplies? Sure.” Naruto did some quick math in his head, most of the time it was wrong, but not too wrong. “ You used some gloves, and I used about 50 feet of wire. We could probably pick up some replacements in town, or an armory. I think this town has one.”
“Yes, we did use physical supplies. But what is more costly, is us.” She blew on the drink. Her bright pink lips looked enticing. She looked over the rim, piercing pale blue eyes looking through her pale blond bangs. “I am the Yamanaka Clan Leader. I am a landed Noble, a Daimyo, I control close to 16,000 troops and have various lands throughout the Fire Country and their vessels. Did you know this?”
Naruto did not know this. He thought that the Yamanaka clan was just a Konoha clan, not something super important. He looked away unable to answer.
“To have even a moment of my time or attention costs a lot, like a lot a lot.” she took another sip. And put her mug down with a dull thud. “But you know what costs more.” Again, she tried to meet his eyes, and Naruto steeled himself. “You do, by an embarrassingly enormous amount.”
Naruto literally could not even conceive that he was more important than a literal lord that can command thousands of soldiers.
“You want to know why? Well sucks to be you 'cause I'm gonna tell you anyway.” She moved her cup over so that the waitress could put her fruit salad and grilled zucchini down. “It's cause you are a one-man army. If you wanted to, you could literally destroy an army. You could take over a nation. Fuck, you could fight all of the nations at once and still probably win.” She speared a strawberry with a bit too much vigor. “You are actually priceless. The only way someone could buy your service is if they pay in cities. As in Multiple Cities. You taking a day to save a hamlet for 2,250 ryo is ridiculously laughably small.”
Naruto sipped his coffee and ate some of his toast with bacon he didn’t want to think about that. “Well, it’s my own time, ya know. I can decide what it’s worth. If I decide it's worth 2,250 ryo, then it’s with 2,250 ryo.” Ino still looked at him funny, he could feel her get exasperated.
“Look, you might not feel that way, but literally everyone else will see this. They will know that you save villages that need help. If they don’t like you, they will burn villages like that to the ground, even if it’s because they think some smoke will get in your eye. You, as someone who can fight the world, as a Kage, as a Shogun, need better reasons for why you do things. Doing things just cause they feel right will only hurt the people you want to protect in the end.” She bit into a slice of orange, and some of the juice dribbled down her perfectly lightly tanned skin. She swiped the juice with a finger and licked it clean.
Naruto felt heated, “Oh, well if you're so wise then why did you go along with it!” He could have been quieter, but he didn’t care. It was just so messed up that Ino needed a reason to help people. Just really messed up.
“Do you know where we are?”
As a matter of fact. He knew exactly where they are. “Ya, we're in Angie’s Kiri Cafe, on Woodpecker Avenue. In Woodsdale.”
She looked and felt disappointed. Her hand slid up to cover her face. “No, we are in Nara territory. Shika owns this town and the surrounding forests. I helped out because one of his hamlets was being attacked, and being a century-long ally to his clan, decided to help. This will only draw our clans closer together.” She said still hiding from his stupidity in her hands.
What?
“What!? How can Shika own a town! How!” He had to put his sandwich down. He knew he had syrup dripping down his chin, but he didn’t care. This was preposterous for someone to own so much.
“Fuck,” Ino sighed and continued eating. “Ok, quick history lesson, so pay attention, we have a lot more to talk about ok.” She had his full attention. “The Nara clan is close to 700 years old. (I can see you about to say something, shut it until the end.) At that time, Emperors, Shogun, and Daimyo asked the clan to do missions. Some of these missions were paid with land. Over 700 years later that’s a lot of land. Since the Nara didn’t sell the land, they own the town, and everyone in the town pays their taxes and rent to Shika. The magistrate is in power because of Shika, the armory is supplied by Shika, and the martial academy is funded and scouted for by Shika’s clan. That answers your question?” She popped a grape past her luscious lips. How did she get them so sparkly and shiny?
“Uh, ya, sure. Um, anyway, I had you heal the bandits cause injured bandits get less of a bounty since the jail then needs to pay for healing. I brought the bandits to the bounty office cause, well, see, um, I got no money. Like, at all.” Naruto really rambled that last bit. His confidence was shot. How could you just get that kind of information dropped on you and not feel emasculated? His friend was the leader of a powerful nation within a nation. A nation that lived seven times as long as Konoha. It was amazing, and Ino’s family is undoubtedly the same.
“What do you mean you have no money? You fought against all the Biju for 7 months. You need to have money, I can't see any way that you could be broke!” He could feel her disappointment turn into anger and disbelief.
Well, this is where it got kinda weird. “Well, this is how it was explained to me. I was supposed to be on an island hiding, it was an S-rank mission, ya know. I abandoned my mission and effectively defected. Since I was not asked to go fight, I was asked to stay on the island, which I didn’t do. Well, it means I don’t get paid. And since the only hiring entity at that moment was the Five Nation Army, I wasn’t hired. I essentially volunteered my services. Kinda sucks hm.”
She just looked at him with open disdain, like deciding to fight in a war for free was against everything she has ever known and believed in, and that he killed her dog right in front of her.
Naruto tried to mollify the enraged Ino, “But! But! It's fine, there are loads of ways to make money! When Jiraiya and I were traveling, he would always steal all my money and go whoring with it. So I got really good at getting more. Honestly, this trip is a nice vacation from the war, ya know!” And to Naruto it was true. Many of his favorite and fond memories were with the old super pervert. Hopefully, he could make just as many with Ino too.
“I also got a plan too.” Naruto continued as ino continued to tease him with her lips, you know, by eating. “Well go to the jail tomorrow morning and check to see if there are any outstanding bounties, we’ll spend a week or whatever doing them, and we’ll have cash for our trip. Eazy-peazy.” He was proud of his plan. It was a nice plan. And it beat having to gamble for money, that was just not fun at all.
Naruto thought for a moment. “Why did you go along with it? You didn't need to heal those guys. Or help bring them to the bounty office. So why?”
She took a sip from her coffee. Her salad finished. “Easy, I wanted to see what you would do if you were in charge. I am here to make you a better leader. I can only do that if I know where you start.”
“Wait, you mean you let me save the village as a test? Would you have saved the village if you knew about it?” Now Naruto was really concerned, what if she just ignored people in distress?
She barely took a second to think, “Of course not. I would have continued on my way. And, shut up, before you ask it's for a few reasons. First, it’s civilians fighting civilians. They don’t need Shinobi's help. Second, we weren't paid for it. Third, It’s not my territory. If we weren’t in Nara land this endeavor could have been declared a skirmish and a valid casus belli for war or other reparations. Four, it’s a tiny hamlet in the middle of nowhere, those things get started and disappear regularly, what's one more.” She seemed so blasé about people being killed, it unnerved Naruto very much.
He needed to change the subject when the most amazing thing happened. “My clone just popped. I found a really nice onsen with an attached hotel. It’s only 300 a night per room. And look! We suddenly came into a windfall of cash! So let’s go and relax and enjoy our day after a mission.” Naruto stood, quickly walked to the counter, and paid. Not really wanting to deal with what Ino just laid on him.
“Wha… Wait! Dammit Naruto! Wait up! We’re not done here!”
Naruto ran.