“Seriously Rowe you need to stop antagonizing that dipshit, I’m not always going to be there to save you,” Sam said taking her seat next to Josh. “Trust me I know you won’t, and I don’t expect you to in any case,” Josh said in reply voice expressing the pent-up anger and frustration that his blank expression refused to give away.
“What did you mean by that? You know I was only joking right?” “Nothing, never mind, thank you for what you did, but you don’t need to keep putting your neck on the line for me, he has it out for me no matter what, I’m not the antagonist here Sam, you know that, Thomas… Thomas just hates me.” Josh said looking anywhere but at Sam.
“Rowe? Did something else happen?” Sam asked concerned it was rare that Josh didn’t take any opportunity to look at her, Sam knew he had feelings for her, but also knew him well enough to know he would never act on them, and that’s how Sam likes it, she liked him she did and he wasn’t unattractive, but it could just never work between the two, them being friends was barely tolerated, even Sam couldn’t get away with anything more than that.
“No of course not, did you manage to find anything decent for the photography project yet?” Josh asked trying in vain to change the subject. “Josh, look at me, please.” Making eye contact for the first time since sitting down Sam could see the pain in his eyes, the pain he worked so hard to hide from her. Reaching out and grabbing his hand before he could pull away, Sam pried open his flinched fist showing the deep groves confirming Sam’s worries left by his fingernails.
Sighing she let his hand go as he looked away in shame again, “tell me what happened” “Nothi” “don’t you dare fucking lie to me, you know how I feel about that!” Sam snapped a little louder than she meant to, drawing the attention of some of the other students nearby.
Seeing him flinch at her tone, Sam decided to change tact now wasn’t the time to make it about herself and her baggage, Sam rested her palm on Josh’s cheek “I’m sorry Rowe I know you don’t like swearing, your such an old man at times” Sam chuckled. Turning his head into her hand more he mumbled something but Sam couldn’t make it out.
“What was that?” Josh mumbled slightly louder it’s not a big deal” “what isn’t a big deal” she said back, lifting the side of his shirt just enough to show her the dark purple tint of a fresh bruise. “He caught me alone yesterday on the way home” “oh Rowe what happened?” Sam asked hand reaching to brush across his painted skin, Josh pulled the shirt down before her fingertip could make contact startling Sam.
Dragging her eyes from where her friend was hurting she asked one more time “What happened?” “I was walking home and he saw me, no one was around, so he did what he always does, he tried to get under my skin, just this time he managed to pull it off, no big deal like I said,” Josh said forcing a self-deprecating smile.
“And” she encouraged “and a swung for him, it didn’t end well clearly”, surprise clear on Sam's face she asked “you swung for him? That’s not like you, what did he say to make you do that?” “Sam It doesn’t matter what was said it’s over end of” anger crossed Sam’s usually pleasant face, turning the pale skin and dark make-up that usually fixated Josh’s attention so often, into something downright sinister.
“What did he say to you” she demanded, now it was Josh’s turn to sign “it was the normal stuff mostly making fun of us being poor and pointing out how I don’t belong here and that I shouldn’t be allowed to breathe the same air as the rest of you all. And then he offered to help us out“ “he did what?” Sam asked, “oh yeah he offered to pay my mother for sex real kind of him, as though she was nothing more than a prostitute, just because she works for what she has.”
Wrapping up his explanation, anger dripping from each word at the end, he barely noticed Sam leave her seat, the sound of the chair's metal legs scrapping across the thinly carpeted floor, as loud as a starting pistol in Josh’s ears, making him scrabble to follow her, he called out “where are you going class is about to start” as though the universe heard his words and agreed their lecturer walked through the door arresting almost everyone’s attention, looking at the commotion Mr Lee Moved to block Sam’s way.
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“Now now Miss Jennins You haven’t even given me a chance to bore you yet, where do you think you're going?” getting a few awkward chuckles Mr Lee looked proud and self-absorbed like only a teacher can, being the smartest person in the room tends to be a big ego boost.
“Not now Charles, get out of my way” Sam growled the venom or the look in her eyes made the grown man take a step back and swallow his pride within a second. “Sam, seriously what are you doing, everything is fine!” Josh shouted at her back, whipping around eyes like daggers burrowing into his soul, she snapped “no! It’s not fine but I’ll make sure that it is, don’t follow me if you don’t take notes for me then I’ll get it in the neck tonight”.
All Josh could do was knob his agreement, knowing that nothing but an act of god could change her mind and even that’s only theoretical Josh would believe it when he sees it, she was just that stubborn and headstrong. “Back to your seat now Mr Rowe” Mr Lee shouted trying to gain back a semblance of his authority.
Josh went through first and second period in a fugue state, hoping that Sam despite how well-intentioned didn’t just make things worse for him, Josh hated that he needed to rely on her to fight his battles, Samantha Jennins the black sheep of Hartwood, she stood out and didn’t care what anybody thought of her.
Most people said it was a mistake when she decided to dye her hair black, they all said it was such a shame to throw away her beautiful blonde hair for no other reason than to be rebellious, and the town almost broke when they found out about her first tattoo, in a small town like this, different is never acceptable but that made no difference to Sam. She has never cared what others think of her, Josh first started to admire her for that mindset, a mindset that he could never afford to have.
Once he started to actually spend time around her that admiration quickly developed into unrequited love, but no matter how many fantasies of them being together and leaving Hartwood for good Josh might have, he had made his mind up years ago they could never be together, Sam was made for more thing in life than Josh could ever offer her.
She may never advertise it but she was one of the smartest people in Hartwood, and her Father had big plans for her future, Mr. Jennins didn’t care if his daughter wanted to rebel and dye her hair, get tattoos, or befriend the dregs of the town, as long as she never did anything to jeopardize the plans he put in motion before Sam was even born.
While eating lunch Josh couldn’t help but worry, Sam never came back and Josh hadn’t seen Thomas once since the morning outside, despite all three of them sharing the period just before lunch. “Did you hear what she did? “ “Yeah she’s crazy, no way I would be able to away with bullshit like that” “I know right, pays to be daddy's little girl “.
Laughing the group gossiping two tables down from Josh had no idea the effect their words had, and a cold bead of sweat ran down from his temple, “Damn it Sam, what did you do now?” Getting to his feet, appetite leaving him Josh nervously patted the old beat-up messenger bag hanging from his shoulder.
Checking the watch on his wrist tilting it to make out the time past the crack on the face, Josh tried to decide if there was enough time before the next period to take a few photos to get his mind off of everything, the camera at his side the only true escape from reality Josh had. It was nothing special but his mother worked an extra job just to save up enough for that camera. It was the only thing besides his family and Sam that Josh couldn’t live without, his most cherished possession.
“Now hold still Steven, just for another two seconds” Josh mumbled under his breath while lying on his stomach camera as steady as a surgeon’s knife, his attention focused solely on the grey squirrel with a small dark patch on its left side. With bated breath Josh waited for the light to shine just right through the branches of the old oak Steven calls home, exhaling in relief as he just managed to get the photo before Steven got spooked and scurried away.
Looking up as a shadow loomed above blocking out any trace of the sun and filling Josh with a cold sense of dread. Looking into Thomas’s one good eye and having a pretty good guess where Thomas’s new black eye came from, Josh couldn’t help but gulp while silently wishing he could change places with Steven.