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Deleantur

Deleantur

I felt as if I was falling. not in the physical sense. and as I fell i saw scenes and images flying just outside my vision. I recognized that i had seen them before. Some of them lingered longer than others before flying back into the peripherals of my vision. For just a moment everything stopped as a image of my brother Diether and I came into the center of my view. it stayed there for what felt like an eternity, I tried to turn my head only to find that i couldn't, following came the realization that I couldn't move at all. and once more after a short amount of time the images and scenes continued the flight , only this time there were far less than before and they moved at a much more leisurely pace. This gave me more time to study them, it only took a small effort of concentration and time to figure out why they felt so familiar. They were my memories, another thing i figured out was that someone or something was viewing them. the memories were too precise to be my subconscious browsing. I noticed that the newer memories were slowly being discarded into the background with the others which were deemed unimportant to whatever was violating my privacythe gallery walk's participants numbers fell into single digits I began to grow worried. after all there wasnt a guarantee i would be left alive after my intruder found whatever they were looking for. I didn't have the chance to get to worked up as my intruder had narrowed it down to just one. oddly enough this one was empty at least visually. this one radiated warmth and security. since there were only so many places that fit the description and considering it was the oldest memory i had it was safe to assume this was the womb. this made the lack of visuals and sudden increases in touch not as strange. it was then when i felt a new sense, it wasnt any of the senses i used most often Sight,Taste,Touch,Smell and Sound. If I had to make a comparison this was similiar to touch if only more detached if that makes any sense. this new sense felt Foreign, not that it felt malevolent or belevolent only that it felt out of place. in the memory i only felt this sense for just a few fleeting moments before it left as swiftly as it arrived. Seemingly satisfied my intruder quickly undid whatever had binded my consciousness and flung me away.   

May 14th, 2017

I awoke drenched in sweat with the second worst head ache i had ever had in my life. it subsided only minutes later but that didn't mean it was any less serious, for reference the worst headache i have ever had was when i cracked my jaw and cheek bones due to a rather reckless bicyclist. a lawsuit and a trip to the hospital fixed up my 9 year old self but the pain was rather remarkable. i quickly put the experience to the back of my mind as i started my morning routine. of the things that start my day running a mile and a half is what i was most proud of, i had kept up the routine for 3 months which was impressive considering the last diet i had only lasted a whole 3 days. i was halfway down the stairs when i realized i may have tightened my shoes a little too tight. that was odd since my shoes were going on a year and a half and were getting kind of cramped for a 17 year old. come to think of it i usually just slipped them on and tightened them more as a formality rather than a neccesity. I considered putting on Diether's shoes since despite the fact that we were twins his feet seemed to grow before the rest of him and as a result he had shoes bigger than our father Pantem. I had always wondered how in the world an half english half german could convince a blond southern american to not only marry them but to name which ever was the fatter baby after his father. but then again our father had also convinced everyone in the neighborhood to vote for him as their councilman despite hardly interacting with them other than to leech some pie from the bakesale. Luckily i was given the name of my grandfather on my mothers side, Shawn. what was i thinking about? odd, oh yes i was going to go for a run. wait no thats not it

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problem?    shoes.    too small?    no.    tight?    yes.    why?    not intentional.    problem?    yes.    solution?    find replacement.    data missing?    involved family member.    who?    brother.    name?    Diether.    too many steps?    agreed.    unusual?    yes.

I broke out of my thinking process halfway out the door. why did it feel like i was taking exams. The last time i had spaced out like that was during the act where i ended up with only 10 minutes remaining on the english section. Right my shoes, ill just run up to Diether's room and grab his not like he'll be needing them.

problem.    what?    statement invalid.    how?    he would need shoes.    who?    Diether.    why?    he runs as well.    assumptions made?    yes.    intentional?    no. 

i was halfway down the street before i caught myself again. something was going on. I ran quickly back to the house and locked myself inside my room.

acting unusual.    why?    something happened earlier.     what?    dream.    about?    memories.    why?    do not know.    how?    do not know.    how?    distracted.    intentional?    no.    problem?    yes.    solution?    do not know.    unusual?    agreed.    higher functions required?    yes.    solution?    sleep.    agreed.

and with the back and forth of my conscious and my subconscious i went out like a light in the middle of the kitchen floor.

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