As I pull myself into the dress set out for me, my thoughts wander. This was Carrie’s night, just as much as mine. She couldn’t wait for my second Celebration of Eight. I wish she was here. I swallow the lump in my throat. The sound of the door opening helps shake me.

In front of me is a woman. She doesn’t seem like she can be past her twenties. Usually, the makeup artists wear a lot of it themselves, to where you can’t even see what their face’s original shape is. But this woman hardly wears much more than mascara. She is pretty, naturally.

I decide there must have been a mistake since I haven’t ever seen her before. I thought I knew every Guardian. Before I can ask, she answers my question.

“Darsal?” nope, not a mistake, “I’m your makeup artist.”

I smile. She seems very kind and simple. I have a feeling that her idea and my idea for this celebration aren’t so different.

She walks around me, carefully adjusting the dress here and there. Then she comes back to the front. She nods her approval.

“You seem not to want to wear the sandals,” she says with a soft laugh, looking over at a pair of sandals adorned with large, clumsy diamonds, "Don't worry. I would not make you wear them anyway."

“It was unimaginable,” I say, smiling.

“I think that this is going to be a nice setup. But first, I would like to hear what you have to say. Any specific colour pallet or changes?” she asks.

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This takes me almost by surprise. No one has asked me what I thought about the dresses or anything. But I don’t have to for long.

“Not really,” I reply, “Just not strong colours.”

She smiles, “I was thinking the same,” then, “Sorry, how rude of me. I haven’t properly introduced myself. I’m Katlyne and your makeup designer.”

I like Katlyne. She seems nice and very considerate. Her voice is soft and almost musical, soothing the agitated butterfly inside of me. The soft smell of flowers seems to hover around her, but not overpoweringly. Just a soft hymn.

She has long, light-brown hair and kind eyes. She seems like she smiles a lot.

“Katlyne, do you have any family in the army?” the moment the words are out of my mouth, I regret them instantly.

I shouldn’t ask anyone their Before. But technically, this is the present, isn’t it? Katlyne doesn’t seem like she has noticed.

“My father, oldest sister and three brothers were in the army. Sadly, my father and two of my brothers have passed away.”

I run my tongue along the inside of my lip, biting the inside of my cheek.

“And you recovered well?” I ask, not moving my gaze from the floor.

Katlyne wrinkles her nose, closing one eye. I make the same face when I’m not sure. Katlyne slightly tips her head from side to side.

“I will not lie to you. It was hard—yeah, it was hard. But after a while, everything kind of settled, and I realized that life kept going. Even though you might have a terrible time in your life, a good one will come. Life comes in and out like the tide. It comes in and everything goes haywire, but it’ll eventually go back out again. It’ll inevitably leave its mark. It’ll come, but all it needs is for you to let it go back.”

“Now, tell me, Darsal, will you let the tide rollback?”

I finally look up and meet her gaze. Warm honey-coloured eyes look back as if wanting, for my sake, for me to let the tide rollback. But can I?