Winter did come, and it came hard, in the form of an irate colonel yelling at me through my brand new phone not five minutes after I left Rachel's house. How he found out what I had just done, I have no idea, but the man has his sources. Big brother type sources, if you know what I mean.
“I told you to keep a low profile, to not make any big waves until the operation is complete,” his voice yelled, uncharacteristically high pitched. “and, literally, the first thing you do when you leave is go heal a man on his deathbed? Are you asking for trouble??”
Actually, I bought clementines first, one of which I am peeling and eating while I am driving. When I saw it was the Colonel calling I had put it on speaker phone and set it to the side, hoping the distance would make it easier to bear.
It didn’t.
Instead of replying, I let him just keep shouting at me. Hopefully that will help him cool off.
…
Dang, this is a good clementine. I admit, I am feeling pretty good about myself after just saving a man from imminent death, a friend even. I don’t feel sorry at all.
I keep ignoring the colonel until I hear some keywords that zoom my attention back to him. Something about “come back here” and “immediately”. I wonder what he means by that…
“Colonel!” I try to interrupt, realizing that my attempt at a hard toned voice is probably negated due to the phone sitting upside down on the seat next to me. “Tim was dying, and I had a chance to heal him! I couldn’t not heal him!”
“You most certainly would have!” The colonel snaps, and before I can continue, he goes off again.
Blah, blah, blah.
“Colonel!” I say again, actually pulling the phone up to speak into it this time, “I don’t have any time. I’m probably going to die tomorrow.”
…
That shut him up. During the break I turn the phone off speaker and put it to my ear like a civilized human. I turn onto the highway, heading south.
The colonel speaks first. “Is this about Spook?”
“Yes.” I merge into traffic, throwing a look over my shoulder.
“You really think you are going to die? That the plan will be a failure?”
I don’t answer at first, trying to organize my feelings. Honestly, they are a mess, and have been for the last three days, ever since I first saw the spheres. I’ve been doing my best to avoid thinking about the issue directly, but the high I got from healing must have cleared my head a bit, because now I feel I can really talk about it, instead of ignoring the large hairy mammoth in the room.
“I honestly don't know, but my gut is telling me that what is going on is something bigger than you, or me, or the freaking US army. I believe it was a cosmic accident I lived through what I did and no amount of finagling on my part is going to stop it. The stuff I saw in that sphere, zombies, skeletons, fungus, all that death… if it escapes, it’s going to kill us all. I had hoped that all of it would just end when I got back, like a bad dream. But it hasn’t. Instead, it's staring me in the face, daring me to make a move. My gut is telling me that this is the end of the world.”
I felt lightheaded after saying that, along with the feeling of my blood draining away from my face. The noise of the traffic fades away too. The colonel says something on the other end, but I can’t hear it.
...
I can hear my heartbeat, though, loud in right in my ear.
…
Did I just give myself a panic attack? I’m on the freaking highway!
...
A few more heartbeats later, I push through the fog.
“Greg? Are you there, Greg?” The colonel’s voice pops over the phone, his voice filled with concern.
“Yes,” I say automatically, looking at the exits. My ramp is coming up soon, good, didn’t miss it. “Just thinking about some stuff.”.
“Why did you volunteer then, why are you going to go through with it, if you think its a lost cause?”
I want to scream out that I didn’t want to volunteer. That if I had my way, I would push my head into the sand so far I would never see the light of day again.
I try to take a calmer approach.
“I don’t want to. Believe me, Colonel, I would give anything for this to just go away. To just… have the army take care of it without me. But it's not going away and I don’t think you can,” I reply back. “I feel this is our only chance. Without me, anybody who enters a place like I was would be dead in five minutes max. There is no two ways around that. Even with me… God, we are so low leveled compared to what we are going to find in there. It's going to be a joke.”
The colonel doesn’t answer to what I said and I let the silence lingers a bit.
“What I am saying is that is that, while I am still here, I am going to help the people I can. While I can. Don’t worry, Colonel, I’m not about to open up a clinic downtown for the day. Just a few people I care about. I’ll tell them to keep it a secret for now.”
The colonel doesn’t speak for a bit, but I can hear voices in the background. I let him discuss with his people. I admit I kind of got him hostage, but I don’t care. My exit comes up and I take it.
“Greg,” the colonel’s voice comes back on. “If you were any other person, I’d take you off the operation. We don’t think you’re mentally fit at this point to go back in. Like you said, it's only been three days. Maybe we should postpone it.”
“You can’t,” I say directly, my voice cracking a little. “And you can’t do it without me. It needs to be done and it needs to be done ASAP.”
“I know. Jeffery will be meeting you at your brother’s house. You understand right? Try not to cause too much trouble, Okay?”
I give him an affirmative, and I hang up.
…
Now I have a babysitter. Unexpectedly, the thought of his company warms me up a bit. Just a bit.
I pull into my brother’s house only minutes later and dog gone it, there is Jeffery already waiting for me. They must have dispatched him here when I first went rogue or they’ve got a teleportation ability, I’m not sure.
Thankfully, he’s dressed casually, or, is in civilian wear. I don’t think my sister-in-law would be happy if I showed up with a soldier in fatigues next to me.
“Lieutenant.” I say, shutting my door after I stepped out into the driveway. I give him a sardonic grin, “How long will you be keeping me company for?”
Keeping it professional, Jeffrey just steps in stride with me as replies, “I’ve been permanently assigned to assist you. I’ll be around to help.”
Rolling my eyes, I say back, “As much as I like you Lieutenant, they couldn’t assign a lovely lady to me instead?”
He doesn’t answer, not that I expected him to.
Besides, that was dumb, I shouldn’t have even said that. What kind of person am I trying to make myself out to be?
Clearing my throat as I reach the doorbell, I ask, “Do you know how to make an overprotective, sensitive, and slightly paranoid invalid accept a healing?”
Thought for a moment and Jeffrey shook his head.
Dang, I don’t either.
…
We wait for Kalli to answer the door.
My sister-in-law, Kalli, did not take getting MS well. Not that I could expect anybody to take a paralysing disease that attacks your own body, slowly depriving you of movement and freedom, well, but she took it in a way that hurt those of us that cared about her. She hid from us, avoided us, as if her extended family were painful reminders of what she once had, and invested all her energy into being the best mother she could. Suddenly, being a mom to her child was what was defining her as a person, the one thing she could cling too.
I guess, it let her focus on something productive and not on her problems. I can’t begrudge that, but I just wish she would let us in some more. I know my parents wish it, and also wish more access to their first grandchild, a cute six year girl named Kathy.
I don’t get to see them much, but I am still close to my brother. I am actually the one who is closest to Kalli too, out of my family. It helps being single and available all the time. I help move furniture, Tvs, couches, yard work, I’ve even babysat Kathy a few times.
Still...
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Bottom line is, I have no idea what I am going to say to Kalli. But I’m not a stranger that she would shoo away at first sight.
I knock on the door again and a plan slowly forms in my head. I turn to Jeffrey and politely tell him that it would probably be better if he waited in his car. He nods and leaves without a word of complaint, but doesn't actually get into the car, he just leans against it and looks around, as if scouting the neighbrohood.
…
He doesn’t look out of place at all…
…
I’ll take what I can get.
The door slowly opens and Kathy stands there in front of me with a small smile. I see Kalli in her wheelchair behind her on the ramp leading to the porch we are on. Her eyes are lit up in surprise and confusion but before she can ask the obvious question I speak quickly with a large smile down at Kathy.
“Hey girl, wanna see a magic trick?”
…
It’s like a bad pickup line. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.
Fortunately, Kathy’s a cute curious little girl and she bites on my bait with a cute giggle and nod of her head.
Only waiting a half moment, I light up my hands with flare, the golden light obvious even in the daylight. I see Kathy’s eyes pop open in delight and her jaw drop slightly.
Shock and awe, baby.
Kathy giggles again and asks, “How are you doing that?” As if I've just shown her a card trick, her hands fidget by her side, fighting the urge to take my hands for a closer look.
I lower my hands to let her and she grabs them and inspects them with surprising intensity. I look over at Kalli who is wearing a bemused face. Victory, I think.
“Sorry to just drop in Kalli, but can I speak with you for a bit? Are you two busy?”
Kalli pauses for a second, but then shakes her head, “No, we just finished lunch and we are about to begin our afternoon lessons.” then I see her face twist into confusion again and she asks, “What are you doing here though? Don’t you have to work?”
I shrug and pick up Kathy who has an iron grip on my still glowing hands, “Something important came up, can I come in?”
I can tell that she is a little upset at the sudden intrusion, but I am already walking into the house with a giggling Kathy dangling off my hands. Kalli gives me a quick nod with a frown and instructs Kathy to let her uncle go, which she promptly does.
Kalli turns around a rolls to the living room. I follow at an even pace, keeping my hands still glowing brightly, hoping she’ll ask about them.
...
Come on, you have to ask about them. I can’t just bring up the subject of magical healing abilities myself here, you know?
I sit comfortably on the couch, keeping my hands out in the open. Kalli wheels around, finding her corner before parking. She turns to me, expectantly, but then her eyes betray her and she stares down at my hands, her brows creasing.
Come on baby, take the bait, just like your daughter.
…
After a moment she breaks.
“How are you doing that?” She blurts out.
“Yeah,” Kathy chimes in wiggling her body excitedly, “how are you doing that?”
“Magic,” I say dramatically, my eyes wide as I waive my hands.
Kalli rolls her eyes good naturedly, but Kathy eats it up.
“Wow!” Kathy exclaims, stars in her eyes.
“Yeah, I got them from when I was sucked into one of those black spheres.” I say without hesitation, “I’ve got healing powers.”
“Really??” Kathy said, as if I just told her that they were having her favorite meal for dinner tonight.
I nod my head, while turning my eyes over to Kalli. She’s got a big frown on her face. Biiig frown. She doesn't like people influencing her daughter with ideas not approved by her. Or lies, even in jest, if I were joking. This would become a big no no and would end up with me getting a tired phone call from my exhausted brother tonight telling me exactly how and why I upset his wife today.
Thankfully, I am not joking around.
“It's true” I say seriously, giving Kalli a meaningful stare. “I’ve got healing powers.” I reach down and coat the couch I am on with flare, giving the room a bright golden sun. Its eating up my mp, but I think the visual aid will be essential here.
I start my evil monologue.
“Three days ago I got trapped inside one of the spheres. Inside was a magical place I had to fight my way out of. Like an adventure. Inside I gained some powers in order to defeat the bad guys and when I won, I was able to come home. I still have my powers though, so I can strike down evil wherever it raises its ugly head.”
Kathy’s eyes are saucers. “Like a superhero??”
“Exactly,” I say with a nod, giving my niece a bright smile. I let the flare on the couch dim. “In a few days, I’m going to have to fight another bad guy in a sphere. For now though, I also got the ability to heal people. So I am going to try to heal as many as I can, before I have to leave again.”
Kathy’s jaw is dropped comically low and she giggles wildly, looking up at her mom as if looking for confirmation.
Kalli’s giving me a grim stare. Ooo, that hurts.
I put on a serious tone.
“I’m not joking Kalli, there is a good chance I can at least help you out. Just give me a chance, there’s no harm in it. Give me your hand and let me try.”
I don’t think I made a good case, judging by the eye she is giving me. I think she’s about to kick me out of her house and start calling me a raving lunatic and for trying to give her false hope.
I know how much false hope can hurt. I’ve seen it in both Kalli and my brother before, when the new medications didn’t work like they were supposed to, when the fundraising failed to meet expectations, when the illness just got worse, despite their prayer and trials.
But Kalli surprised me. Keeping her frown on her face, she just stuck out her left hand at me, like resentfully passing over rent money.
Like I said, I’ll take what I can get. I guess my capital in this is more than I thought.
Dropping to my knees in front of her wheelchair I grab the outstretched hand gently.
“You’ll feel a gentle warmth flow through you. It might be uncomfortable, but it won’t hurt.”
I should have said ‘shouldn’t’, but too late now…
“You’re going to heal, mommy?” Kathy asks excitedly, jumping off her seat and moving in close to watch my hands.
“Gonna try,” I say lightly, looking up to watch Kalli’s frowny face.
I unleash my heal on her and watch Kalli shift uncomfortably in her wheelchair as the energy moves through her.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I left the house an hour later. Kalli was… healed. For the most part. Her muscles had lost much of their strength over the last few years and that’s not something my ability can resolve, or else I'd look much less like a malnourished psycho. Still, seeing her stand up again, albeit a little wobbly, was really heartening.
Unlike Rachel’s family, Kalli took the healing… in stride, for lack of a better phrase. There were no tears of joy, bubbling nonsense, and no shocking disbelief.
Kathy took it well too, much more bombastically, with delight and lots of “wow’s”. She especially liked the pretty lights.
After we were done, Kalli told Kathy to go to another room and play so that ‘we could talk’. I swallowed nervously at that, but Kalli gave me a warm smile as she pushed her daughter out of the room.
I started in after Kalli was ushered out. “I don’t think I was able to get rid of the MS entirely. My ability mostly deals with healing injuries to the body and while all the damage your immune system did to you was repaired, at this point it's going to start coming back again. I am more than willing,” I add hastily, “to periodically heal you, I don’t think it will have to be that often, maybe just a good handshake once a year. Until I can figure out how to heal you completely, that is.”
Kalli shakes her head with a smile and moves herself to the couch. “You’re a good man, Greg.” she says evenly. “Too good for our family. I can’t thank you enough for what you have done for me. But you can drop the happy act if you want. Things must have been trying for you.”
I let my bright smile drop from my face. Kalli manages to surprise me again, but she’s always been the most real person I know. Authentic.
I rub my hands and look a the floor. After a moment I add. “I might not make it back after tomorrow. I might not be able to keep you healthy in the future. I had hoped to be able to cure you completely, but now I am afraid I am just making you go through the loss and pain again.”
“Where are you going?”
…
“I can’t really talk about it.”
Kalli just gives me a look and then says, “You gave me a gift Greg, I won’t regret what you did for me, even if the symptoms do start appearing again. We’ll be better at it next time, more prepared for what is happening. There is no need to feel guilty for what you have done.”
...
Music to my ear holes, I think. Or is she just saying that?
I give her a weak smile.
“I mean it when I say you are a good man, Greg. Better than me, I know. You have these gifts for a reason, whatever you are going to do, I believe you will succeed.”
“I think my gifts are a cosmic accident.” I reply shortly. “And no amount of faith is going to help me.”
Kalli shakes her head.
“No, that is not true. Out of all the people this could have happened to, it is you, the kindest, most selfless person I know. You have helped our family so much over the last several years, ever since my MS started acting up, asking for nothing in return. With the power you have now, I am sure it was meant for you.”
I give her a light chuckle. “You think too highly of me, I am just as selfish as the next person.”
“You are too hard on yourself.”
I don’t have an answer for that, and the silence lingers on a bit.
I don’t really believe what she said, but I can see why she thinks that way. Most people only see me as I want them to see me, but they don’t know my thoughts. I think Rachel was right when she broke up with me, I was never able to be real with her. The truth was that I was selfish and wanted what I expected from a girlfriend and got frustrated when the relationship wasn’t turning out the way I wanted.
Hardly anything happens as expected though.
“So, it is dangerous, where you are going?”
“Extremely”
“Are you going to say goodbye to your family?”
“Try too. Most of them have no idea what is going on though, it’ll be impossible to really say goodbye.”
Kalli chuckles a little. “Like a real hero from the stories, misunderstood by his friends and family as he goes off to fight the evil one.”
I feel anger surface inside my chest a little at those words.
“It’s not like that!” I say sternly. “I am just a person, I am just me, some guy who just wants to curl up in the corner and cry at the magnitude of the problem. But I can’t, that won’t help anything!”
I close my eyes and exhale slowly, letting the anger pass. Kalthy doesn’t deserve to get yelled at.
“This isn’t some story, this is real life. I wish with everything I have that I don’t have to go back, but I do. We are really just a bunch of desperate people.”
There is suddenly a knock on the door, loud and urgent. I give Kalli a look and get up quickly to check.
Jeffery is there and by his countenance, he means business. I open the door and ask, “What’s up?”
“There’s movement at the lake,” he says crisply. “The Colonel would like you to come back.”
“Movement?”I ask. How odd. “Are the skeletons coming back out? Can’t you just gun them all down as they emerge?”
He shakes his head, “I don’t have any details, but he’s-.”
I hear movement behind me and turn around to see Kalli coming up with her walker. “What’s going on?” she asks as she arrives.
“Classified, Ma’am.” Jeremy replies without batting an eye.
Kalli turns her eyes onto me, “Going to go save the world?”
With a sigh I roll my eyes and grab my coat. “I guess I’ll have to try.”
Kalli watches me tie my shoes, but before I leave she says, “Keep safe, Greg. You can do this, you have all these amazing gifts. This is all happening for a reason.”
I smiled and left her house. I didn’t tell her I didn’t believe her.