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Silent Confession

Just a memory from the past, everything was over in a snap of a finger.

Who was she? Who was I?

A girl raised by a single mother, surrounded by precious friends… everyday passed like a dream. It didn’t feel real until everything fall apart.

I have so many things I wanted to tell her. How I feel, how precious she was, how happy I am to see her smile. But then again, I’m a kid.

What a kid like me know about love?

But when I saw those adults chattering to themselves, I wonder myself. Do they know about love?

Time keeps ticking and now it was already too late to ask.

Me and her, we are world apart from each other. She’s like a star shining in the sky while I’m just a black sheep trapped in a farm, raised to be butchered.

Growl~

My stomach hurts.

Not just me, but others too. Depressed face full of bitterness plastered on all of us. Most of us. Some were even worse, walking while crying like newborn baby.

My feet hurts, my temple throbbed, and my throat was dry like the coarse sand in the desert. I can’t even kept my head straight. All I can do was staring at the feet in front of me, following whoever it was.

It was then I heard a loud thump.

I lifted my head and there was a body on the floor. Disheveled blonde hair to her shoulder and a small, petite figure sprawled on the floor.

“Elaine!”

My heart pumped rapidly and strength flowed to my feet. I ran and shook her body, yet there was no response.

I lifted her face and wiped her hair from the mud. Her eyes were half-closed with mouth slightly opened. I saw dirt on her sunken cheeks and tried to wipe it down.

“Elaine!”

I called her name out in frustration and fear. It was loud, but nobody seems to notice. Everyone remain undisturbed, as if my words were nothing but a passing wind. Why!?

“Hu...ngry…”

She whispered so faintly I can barely hear it.

I put my bag down and grabbed a piece of bread.

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“Here, eat it.”

I handed the bread to her mouth. But there was no response. She kept moving her mouth and her eyes stared at the empty space without focus.

She didn’t have the strength to swallow, much less to munch.

I clenched my fist as hard as I could, trying to held my rage and frustration. Maybe I should gave her all my food from the very beginning. Did I made the wrong decision? This wasn’t supposed to happen.

“Wa...ter…”

“Water? Hang on!”

I glanced forward for a brief second and saw that I’m losing behind the group. They are seriously leaving us behind? Are we that much of a baggage to them? 3 days has passed and there’s no sign of any city in sight. How far more are we going?

I took my leather pouch to hold water and poured it into her mouth bit by bit. I saw her parched lips bleed here and there, she won’t catch infection with this right?

This isn’t enough. A gulp won’t save her, but it was everything I had.

What do I do? What should I do?

Think! Uncle once told me that fictions were mostly based on true stories, if that’s true then the pattern should be real!

The protagonist always able to overcome the hurdles or any kind of difficulties ahead of them! She is a protagonist, therefore she will overcome this too! Have faith me!

The protagonist sometimes solve their predicament alone or with something or someone’s help. Right now, I’m the only one with her right now! This is a pattern of a story! It has to be!

I put my bag on the front and carried Elaine on my back. This predicament is not impossible to solve. The solution exist! I just knew it!

This place won’t be your grave. It is not your fate to die in a place like this.

There is still a future waiting ahead of you.

A future where you can smile again.

Through bitterness and sheer willpower alone, the boy carried the girl through the stinging sun and cold of the rain. The uneven road and mud made it more exhausting to walk than usual, not to mention he was famished.

Elaine’s condition kept getting worse and worse. Left without choice, Len would occasionally stop following the trail that the group left, and collecting any edible fruits and any clean water he could get. Though, there’s not much of it because the group would have taken them first before Len could get it on his hands.

To him, even complaining was a luxury. If he has the time to complain, that means he has the time to search for food and water. Like a small flame trapped in a blizzard, he had a premonition that he will never open his eyes again if he blinked for too long.

He bit his parched lips and pushed on and on.

Until his body stopped moving.

“...”

He tripped on a rock and fell head first. He was still conscious despite the pain. It didn’t bother him. Pain can heal and become scars, however life once lost will never return. He knew this very well.

But no matter how hard he pushed himself, his body won’t move. Not even a finger twitched, his eyes still open stared at the body beside him.

Elaine was there, sprawled on the mud together with him. Her eyes were closed, was she sleeping? Or was she too tired to open her eyes? Len refused the very possibility that she died.

She can’t die.

She’s the protagonist of this tale.

A tale of her struggle.

“I want to be happy, but I need to make the people around me to be happy first!”

“Nope, not a chance. There’s no way you can make them happy.”

“What!? How can you say that without even trying!?”

“I don’t need to. There’s just no way everyone can be happy.”

“Hmm, it seems you are very confident, huh. How about we make a bet?”

Her usual innocent smile was gone. Her posture and mannerism did a complete 180. A tomboy with blond short hair, the strongest impression of her in his memory.

“What kind of bet? ...No, there’s no need for a bet, you are being silly.”

“Are you a chicken?”

“Are you looking for trouble?”

“I will make everyone happy, and then I can be happy! And the first person will be my victim is you!”

“M-me? A v-victim?”

“I will make you happy and then you will do anything I say!”

“H-huh!? Isn’t that more like, a slave or something? And what do you mean you will make me happy!?”

“Hmm, I don’t know~... if I become your wife, will you be happy?”

“W-what are you saying!?”

A flash of memory rewinded itself in his mind. It was years ago, back when they were much, much more younger. Was it 6? Or 7 years ago? He wasn’t sure.

What face did I make? Was it an embarrassing one? Who won the bet?

Len stayed still. Elaine suddenly opened her pale blue eyes. They were clear and beautiful as he remembered. Len could tell that her eyes weren’t focusing on him, her pupils were trembling.

Did she knew about me? About what I feel? If yes, then what does she think about it? Was she grossed out? Or was she happy?

With every ounce of strength left in his body, Len moved his mouth.

His last message to his most beloved.

The silent confession.